Love Or Desire
by 0fficials3xcs3xc
Summary: Sequel to do you think of me? After five long years Nessie goes by the name Vanessa Swan supermodel, after getting a new deal and a new boss from her past, what is Nessie going to have to do to get her new bosses approval? *Read Do you think of me first*
1. Preface

**A/N: Okay so as you see I decided to do Love Or Desire as the sequel to Do You Think Of Me? But I will do the other choice as a completely different story so it will be a stand alone. Hope you like this as the choice for the sequel. This is just the Preface, First chapter should be up soon. Hope you like the little insight to a future Chapter. **

**Disclaimer: As always SM owns her characters I own mines, my story line. BLAH! BLAH! ENJOY!!**

**Summary-**

**After five long years Renesmee Cullen goes by the name Vanessa Swan the famous super model. After an encounter that leaves her with a new deal, her boss is someone from her past. What is Nessie going to have do to get her new bosses approval? having a fiance' and with that person from her past leaves her in a bit of a problem as she has to choose between the two. **

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**PREFACE:**

When you feel all hopes are lost and your life can't be repaired, the one person you loved is the only person on your mind. When you feel that your heart is broken and it is impossible for you to love again. When you actually date and you keep on comparing everyone to that person you loved. What do you do?

In my life I have only fell in love once. When I fell in love I fell in love real hard. In that all the time that has passed I still think of him at times. So when the question do you think of me presents itself I have not an answer, sometimes I think he just moved on. I know it is very possible because when I loved him and I had him I moved on. So why shouldn't he have a moment to move on?

I guess part of me hopes he still thinks of me. Part of me hopes he is happy and forgot about me, but that is only a small portion. 95 percent of me am in hope he still loves me, because I still love him.

**Love,**

**VANESSA (NESSIE) SWAN AKA RENESMEE CARLIE CULLEN**

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Excerpt: Nessie Pov (Future Chapter)

Today it was finally happening, I was in the most beautiful white dress adorned with beautiful sequins and pearls. Today I was actually getting married. I was highly emotional. Aunt Alice was putting the last touches, sticking the white star orchid in my hair. She smiled at me, aunt Rose was tearing up. Mom was sitting down with the baby in her arms crying. Today was an amazing day for me. I put my hands to the bump on my stomach and smiled. I was happy, I had it all. The most amazing career, the most amazing man was waiting for me at the altar his amazing eyes, knowing that he loved me so much and was willing to do anything for me.

Why do I feel so nervous and guilty? The guilt was eating me alive. I had to go through with this; I cared about him a lot. He had been the most amazing, romantic, caring person ever. I was snapped out of my thoughts by Rose who hugged me tight.

"It is time Ness, he is waiting for you. You look amazing. Remember this is your day." she hugged me once more. I took a deep breath as my brides maids got themselves ready to walk out.

My maid of honor of course had to be my beautiful half sister. I gave her a hug before she walked out.

"Nessie I love you." she said as she hugged me once more. She looked beautiful in the silky lilac dress. She handed me my bouquet of flowers and her eyes were watery. She started taking her position to go walk out.

I knew everybody was proud of me. My dad was super ecstatic about this day. I had my best friend as my groom's best man. Everything fit ever so perfectly. So why was I still having the guilt eat at me? I brushed one of the curls that was laying on the front and pushed it back behind my shoulder.

I started to walk out and saw my father staring at me with his green eyes. He looked so proud of me. I was his oldest daughter and I was finally getting married. He had to be proud of me, he always said that I changed my life around and was finally doing things the right way. I sighed even deeper as the nerves were killing me. My stomach has major butterflies. My unborn child was moving around I guess it sensed my nervous jitters as well. I knew I loved my child there was no doubt in my mind that this child would be the most spoiled.

"Are you ready?" my father asked me and looped his arm around mines. He snapped me out of my thoughts and I started taking deeper breaths. "Honey I am proud of you, you have made me change my thoughts about you. You truly grew up and I love that. Now let's walk you down the aisle so you can be with your future husband." he smiled once more.

We started walking down the aisle. I saw all the familiar faces from my childhood, my adolescence, my profession as a model. I saw all my family, friends from La Push, my friends from high school, my manager Reni, and my model friends. All the familiar faces except for one, I knew he wouldn't come; it hurt me so much to know he wouldn't come. Just thinking about him made the guilt hit me even stronger.

The music was playing the melodious harmony. As I walked down the aisle and saw my beautiful groom and his sparkling green eyes. I could see all his attention was on me, as my feet started feeling heavy and the blood pounding through my ears. This all felt wrong and right at the same time. Every step was calling my doom. I think I was starting to get cold feet. I think I always had cold feet just I didn't want to admit it to myself.

Finally I was at the altar with the eyes all on me. I was trying to swallow the huge lump that was formed in my throat. I felt so nervous but still that guilt was pushing against my heart. The pastor was starting to say the words to get us married. My groom looked at me in my eyes with a huge smile on his face. Finally the pastor got to the part where if someone opposes.

The door of the church slammed open and there he stood looking amazing wearing a black leather coat. My heart started pounding even faster. I couldn't believe he actually came.

"I oppose." his deep voice said I felt the tears forming in my eyes, but the tears didn't push out just yet. I was terrified and satisfied at the same time. "Who loves you more than me, if you get married you'll take my life." he sighed and walked forward more.

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**Hope you liked my choice due to the fact it was choosen because of you lovely readers thanks for the support and for following through with the first story I love you guys for that. Well like I said in my Beginning A/N I will still post the other story it will just be a stand alone and have it's own different backround story and other stuff. The other story will be changed to be used as a complete different story. That would be posted not so soon, but I will let you guys know here when I am going to post that. Well The first chapter should be up soon Maybe even tomorrow lol ^_^**


	2. Ch1 Life Changes

**A/N: Okay here is Chapter 1, We get some details as to what has happen in the last 5 years. Some Nessie and Jake POV, but they don't meet just yet. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: SM OWNZ IT!!!  
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Five years after: Do you think of me?**

**Chapter one: Life changes.**

**Nessie  
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_After waking up from the comma due to the car crash they told me I lost my child, I was so sad and depressed I didn't even want to be with Jacob. I went to New York for a couple months; I didn't see Jacob for awhile. After a year living in New York, I moved back to California with my Uncle Emmet and Aunt Rosalie. I lived in Los Angeles for four years. I had a really good job; I became a model, wasn't really big but did a lot of runway shows for clothing companies_

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It has been officially five years since the car accident. Five years since I last saw him, five years since I felt that I was in love, five years knowing he was still out there, five years. I was a bit mad at myself for being so self centered and the only reason he didn't find out was out of my fear. It seems like he just disappeared off the face of the earth though. That mainly was my fault._

_Jacob became a Famous Owner and CEO of a car company like he wanted to be. He always had that passion; he of course was now rich. He made a profession of the one thing he loves most cars. But since I wasn't into the whole car thing I had no clue he became famous. Everybody that was anybody had their hands on one of his cars. Again since I knew nothing about cars I knew nothing about him._

_Taylor became a big known actor he wanted to be we stayed friends though, we knew that was how it was supposed to be and I treasured him for it. We became close, we talked now and then._

**Now with me in L.A.**

I saw Uncle Emmet at the kitchen table reading a news paper. While aunt Rosalie was at the stove making something delicious. They had moved to L.A. a couple of years back and when they decided to move I thought I would join also.

I walked over to Uncle Emmett and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"How's my model Niece" he smiled at me and then set down the news paper to the small round kitchen table.

"Good, I have some great news." I smiled at him and I saw Auntie Rosalie look over to us as she emptied a skillet to a plate and walked over to us to join the conversation.

"What?" she asked while passing a plate of scrambled eggs to the big lug that was my uncle.

I answered overly excited this may be the greatest news I have ever got. "I have a photo shoot." I smiled and twiddled my fingers from the excitement. I wanted to yell to the world what was going on. I stared down to the beige kitchen table.

"Really? Well that is nothing new." he shrugged and went to attack the plate of eggs in front of him. But I knew my aunt Rosalie was smarter and she would know this was something really big.

"Well this one is going to put me out there." I smiled I couldn't bare the excitement that was rushing through my body I needed to spit it out. "It is for Sports Illustrated." I shrieked and then covered my mouth because I felt I could scream. I was so extremely excited. Aunt Rosalie walked over to me and gave me an embrace that knew she was happy for me.

"In a bathing suit?" Emmett raised his eyebrow he didn't look to content with the idea. But who cares I am going to be a model.

I was jumping up and down with Rosalie joining me I hugged her back. "Yea we are doing the shoot in Cancun." I was extremely happy my career was lifting and I was going to finally be in the lime lights and look as fabulous as I was, I was going to be in one of the most read magazines in the country, I was getting a spread.

"That is amazing Ness." Rose hugged me tighter. I knew she understood perfectly, she has been there for me through the hard times I had when I first started and in only five years I was getting places big time. But then again money helps any cause.

"I am just so happy." I smiled so wide my cheeks hurt. "I am finally making it international." I hugged Rosalie tighter.

"I know sweetie that is amazing, I am so proud of you." she kissed my forehead; I had a lot to thank Aunt Rosalie she was my inspiration and my support.

"I am going to move back to New York, I already have an apartment ready and I can get more work over there anyway." I saw the upset faces in the kitchen. I didn't want to disappoint them by leaving; it was just time for me to go live on my own.

"I am not kicking you out; you can do whatever you want you're a grown woman. My dad and Edward are proud of you everybody is you are a fucking model, you're beautiful your looks finally got you somewhere and you're really smart." uncle Emmett's words meant the world to me, he was another person who supported me those hard years back in the beginning. He smiled at me and gave me a hug. My aunt and uncle meant the world to me I loved them so much.

"I know I am 22 years old. I lost a lot of weight from when I was younger, I got toned. That's how I got this great body you know." I giggled. It was the truth the only way I could escape from the pain I decide to work out so I could take my mind of things.

"You are silly Ness." Uncle Emmett shook his head but quickly was cut off by Aunt Rosalie who was still at my side.

"So when do you leave to Cancun?" she asked me I could tell she didn't want me to leave just yet. But I knew I was going to leave way sooner than they expected for me to leave.

"Today," I answered nervously. I knew they would get upset later. But I need to think about me and my future.

"Ness why did you wait till now to tell us?" Rosalie crossed her arms in disappointment. I hated to see her upset, but this wasn't about her this was about me.

"Sorry you know I'm busy, I get a six page spread in the magazine I am so happy." I smiled at them. This was the best opportunity I have had in my whole entire life. These words were true, I did miss my parents. I missed my family I had been avoiding them for awhile. In that second my phone rang and I knew it was time for me to leave and go to Cancun. "Oh I have to go now."

"Ok Ness call me for anything." Rosalie pulled me into an embrace and I kissed her cheek.

"Now don't be a stranger Ness." Emmett rose from the table and pulled me into one of his big bear hugs.

"Okay bye." I gave them both a kiss on the cheek and I left.

I left for my photo shoot in Cancun and it went great. I went to New York to see my new place. I made a ton of friends being a model one of my friends came with me to check out the new place. It was my friend Carrie. Now Carrie is tall about 5'11 with long straight ash blonde hair. She is gorgeous; she has green eyes and a couple of freckles on her face.

"Oh my god!" I yelled as I took a look at the place. "It is so big; this is my first place by myself." I said as I turned to look at one of the bedrooms. I saw Carrie follow right after me.

"That's good." she smiled at me. Carrie was a good friend ever since I met her. She was one of the girls I knew since the beginning.

"I know right Carrie." I was still in shock that I would be living by myself, my own place, just for me.

"Hey we should go shopping today." she smiled at me.

"I can't I want to see my family." I lied I just wanted to take in my new place and unpack some things, Even though it was already fully decorated by my favorite decorator grandma Esme.

"Ok sweetie call me ok." she hugged me and then left. I went back to looking around my place. I was super hype about it.

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It had officially been a two weeks later from me leaving Los Angeles and living in New York City again. I had my assistant Christine texting me, talking about my manager Reni Fasheer wanted to see me as soon as possible. I made my way quickly to Reni's office down in Greenwich Village. His office was near Christopher Street and Sheridan square.

I made my way to his office with ease. I rang the buzzer telling Ashley his assistant to open the door for me, she quickly complied. I was now in Reni's office. I wondered what great news he needed to speak to me great or tragic. But how my life was going at this point in time it had to be amazing.

"Darling! Darling!" Reni yelled at me as he pulled me into his office room. "I have the most amazing news." he smiled wide enough I think his cheek bones were going to poke out of his pale skin at any second.

"What is it Reni?" I was interested to know what he had in store for me. By his expression I could tell it was amazing.

"I have an amazing offer for you Renesmee darling." he sounded so excited, I thought his little gay ass was going to bust a nut.

"Ok so tell me Reni honey?" I was excited but not maybe as excited as Reni. I wondered what he had in store for me.

"Oh my lord! Renesmee the most amazing photographer wants to do a photo shoot with you, does the name Josue Cartier ring a bell." he smiled even wider.

Josue Cartier was one of the most amazing photographers in Europe. Anyone he photographs has an instant amazing career. I was shocked that he said Josue Cartier was interested in me.

"You aren't lying to me are you Reni?" I needed to make sure this wasn't a joke and that this was sincere and pure truth.

If Josue Cartier even looked at me it would be amazing. He is one of my idols. As I have since a little girl admired the camera. Either being in front of it or behind of it, Josue Cartier is one of the most gorgeous men in Europe. It would be an honor just to be in the same room with him.

"It is no joke darling. Reni will never lie to you." he lit up, I knew he must of been star struck by Josue Cartier. Any woman would throw themselves at that man. Any man would gladly turn gay for Josue Cartier.

"Oh my lord! You are serious." I covered my mouth with my hand I was now in shock this was amazing. Josue Cartier was interested in me! He was interested in me!

"The photo shoot darling, Josue wants to see you today at three. His studio is in 44th street and 5th avenue. I suggest you go to see Marisol for make-up." he smiled his little gay smile. I loved Reni he was maybe too gay to function. He was an amazing manager he always looked out for me.

"Ok no problem I will be there." I smiled at him and left the office. As I got into my car I got a phone call. I didn't recognize the number.

"Hello?" I answered a female voice answered me back. The voice was familiar.

"Renesmee?" the voice was all too familiar.

"Yes this is her." I was a little puzzled. "Who is this?"

"Leah." wow I didn't even know my own best friends number. I shook my head, I felt bad I have been so into my work I have neglected my family and my friends.

"Oh hey Leah." I felt so bad. I didn't know why she called me. She probably got my number from my mom.

I was thinking about all the things I have done and not once did I include my family or friends. I was so absorbed by my work.

"We just bought your magazine, you look beautiful Ness." I could tell she was so proud of me. I was proud of myself, who knew I would get to where I am now.

"Thank you Lee."

"All of us are proud of you. When are we going to see you around here?" she sounded upset. But we were close to the holidays so I would be going soon. Maybe not soon enough, Holidays were like four months from now.

"I don't know Lee, I will try soon ok I promise."

I didn't want to lie to Leah. I had to calm her down, I loved her dearly and I did miss Grandpa Charlie, my mom and my friends from Forks and La Push. I hadn't talk to any of them since the whole issue that happened before.

"We all miss you Nessie; we all want to see you." I can hear the tone in Leah's voice like she wanted to cry. She was making me feel real guilty. "You know I was talking with Justin. The twins are turning five. We want you to be there for their birthday."

"I will be there I promise." I sighed. I wasn't sure if I would. I started to wonder if I would see Jacob there. I haven't seen him in five years and I really don't want to run into him. I don't think my heart could endure it.

"Miss busy model lady." Leah giggled. She caused me to giggle I really wasn't that busy as she said I was.

"I am not so busy." I giggled once more.

In that my assistant Christine who was sitting across from me in the car looked at me.

"Ms. Cullen you have your meeting with Marisol in 15 minutes." she looked a little nervous like she didn't want to interrupt but I understood completely.

"Listen Leah, I will call you back later to talk I have to go." I felt bad that I had to leave Leah hanging.

"Ok Nessie, but don't be a stranger. Call your mother. She has been worried about you. You are going to be a sister."

Wait? I was going to be a sister? Don't tell me mom got knocked up by some new man? Don't tell me she had a new boyfriend? Or a new husband?

"What do you mean?" she had me confused.

"If you would have called you would know that your mom is pregnant and you might be having a little brother or sister soon."

"How far along is she?"

This was all a shock. My mom was pregnant she is old, real old. Wait? Who got her pregnant?

"She is four months sweetie." she giggled a little.

"Really? By who if I may ask?" without even noticing I raised an eyebrow since I was intrigued now.

"By your father, if you would have called or visited you would know they are back together." oh my god I almost screamed but I held a hand to my mouth since I was in shock.

My parents hated each other. But I secretly knew they loved each other. This was just a shock to see that they actually were together and going to have a second child together.

"Oh my god! Mom and dad? Together? It has been too long. I need to call you more often so you can keep me posted." I think I smiled really wide because this was amazing news.

"Ok bye Ness, take care I love you."

"Bye, I love you too."

(We hung up)

We finally pulled up to the building were Marisol was going to do my makeup. I couldn't wait till I saw the most beautiful man, Josue Cartier. The man was a god, he was truly something.

I went up the stairs I had Christine follow me she was my organizer for everything. I went up the couple of steps into the building. I was waiting for the elevator to come. Finally it came and I saw the most amazing pair of green eyes stare at me. The man was a god. He smiled at me and got off. I was still at awe from his beautiful smile.

I got to the 8th floor where Marisol's station was. I saw the beautiful devil herself. I have had Marisol do my makeup always. She has been with me for 3 years already and she is simply amazing at what she does. She came to my rescue right now as I had not that long until I saw Josue Cartier.

"Ness look at you." Marisol said as she pulled me into an embrace and cheek to cheek kisses.

"I know the one and only Hun." I sat down in the makeup chair.

"I am going to make you look fierce." she smiled at me and then got to work on my makeup.

After my make up was done. I had Ron Dylan do my hair and he did an amazing job. I have done a couple of shows where he was my hair stylist.

"You look fierce my love." he said as he turned me in the chair to look at his work. He had added extensions to my hair. Had to say he did an amazing job with it.

"Ron I love it. I always love how you leave me turning out though. Smooches." I blew a kiss to him.

"Oh go get that beefy man cake love. That man is a god I would love a one nighter with that one." he raise an eyebrow and then pouted his lips. I loved gay people so much they are amazing.

I was finally getting closer to seeing Josue Cartier. They had me in wardrobe real quick. I was wearing nothing but a black silk bra, panties and a pair of black heels. It was to show off my natural beauty and assets.

Finally I was walking along the long hallway to the photo shoot room. As soon as I walked in were those beautiful green eyes.

"Vanessa." he smiled at me as he had the camera strapped around his neck. He walked over to me and kissed me lightly on the cheek. My head spun from the impact this man was amazing.

"Mr. Cartier it is nice to finally meet you." I said sounding like a crazed fan. I normally wasn't this nervous around anyone. But this was Josue fucking Cartier.

"The pleasure is mine. Well let's get this photo shoot started shall we." he was so dreamy. I swear it was like high school all over again and I was obsessed with my 11th grade teacher Mr. Moore.

We got the photo shoot over with and Josue walked over to me. He gave me a smile.

"Vanessa why don't we do dinner." he smiled his perfect white pearly teeth at me. He had just asked me asked me to go to dinner. Hell fucking yes!

"Yes but Josue my real name isn't Vanessa it is Renesmee." I had to clarify that. The only reason my name was Vanessa now was so people I knew back in the past couldn't find me so easy.

"Ok Renesmee why don't you go change and I will be waiting for you." he smiled his perfect smile at me and I swear my panties were fucking soaked then.

I left him and I went to go change into something else. I made sure I had Marisol and Ron do a little something nice but very casual. They did an amazing job. Finally I was done and I was going to dinner with Mr. Dreamy himself.

I met up with Josue and we were in a car on our way to a French restaurant.

"So Renesmee where are you from?" he looked at me with beautiful twinkle in his eye.

"I was born and raised in New York. But I have lived in so many places." I smiled. I couldn't believe I was actually in the car with this amazing man.

"That is something. I am from France but of course you knew that. I live in Paris it is beautiful there you should visit one day." He winked at me.

Oh my god he is so dreamy. Why do I feel like such a teenage girl?

"Oh really?" I blushed furiously.

"Yes, did you know I am very attracted to you?" he leaned in a little closer to me. I blushed even more I swear. This man is a god.

"Yes I know, but you should never mix business with pleasure." I said sexually.

"Well I never listened when they said that." he leaned in a little closer.

I giggled. "I am not so sure about that. I don't want to mess up our business relationship."

"I am kind of your boss huh." he smiled showing off his sexy dimples.

"Yea you are, but is it also unfair that I am attracted to my boss?" I leaned in closer myself to the god sitting next to me.

"Really." he licked his lips.

"Yes."

He chuckled. "I saw your spread with sports illustrated amazing."

"Thank you."

We went to the restaurant and had dinner. Everything was so romantic Candle light, soft music, champagne. Everything was so perfect. He had roses everywhere. I had to be in a dream. This man is amazing so dreamy.

Josue took me home and I met up with Carrie.

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"Oh my god, I had a wonderful time with Josue. He is amazing you don't know." I was still in awe from our dinner date. Everything was so perfect.

"Really that man is a god Ness." she said sighing from awe.

"He really is."

"Looks like you have an admirer." Carrie said as she looked at some red roses that were on the table in my hallway.

"Let me see who they are from." I took a look at the card. "They are beautiful red roses, there from Josue. They are beautiful just like you. Awe that so sweet that's what the card says." I put the flowers down.

I couldn't complain Josue was real sweet and romantic. After five years my life was actually starting to get good. I wasn't entirely satisfied, but I was content. I just hope things can get better. I had to admit I love what I do.

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**Jacob**

I loved my life. I had to admit I kind of had everything a poor kid from the reservation could possibly want. I had fame, money, and women. You could say I had it all, then why wasn't I happy about it? I had women throwing themselves at me like I were some sex god. My car company was bringing in endless amounts of money.

After I left that day five years ago, the last time I saw her. I became so involved into trying to make a name for myself. With the help from my mother I started up a car company in where I was designing my own cars. I knew my dream would come true one day.

My cars are so exclusive that everyone wants to get their hands on one. For only five years in business I made a serious name for myself to the point I made it on the list of the top five young entrepreneurs. At an astounding age of only twenty-three and being a millionaire is a top accomplishment. The pain from those years in the past has only pushed me forward. There were some nights I pulled days without sleeping and focusing on my company. With hard work I have made it to where I am. I don't even have a college education and I am a millionaire.

I moved my father out of the old run down shack and he lives in my mansion on the outskirts of town from Forks. I built a three-story Tudor style home at the land in La Push for my sister Rachel. My father gave me the permission to do so as long as I didn't get rid of the shack from my childhood.

I complied and kept it, I had so many memories in that house I couldn't dare get rid of it. My sister's family was growing since she became pregnant in 2009. She has had a total of three children since then, my nephew Dylan and my two nieces Angelica and Francis.

She ended up marrying Paul and they say they are in love and I hate to be around them because you can sense it and it makes me sick. When Rebecca found out about my fame she started coming to La Push a lot more often. Her excuse was she was visiting my father and I knew it was BS. I was hardly home anymore and Billy basically spends most of his time with Rachel and my girlfriend Vanessa.

I met Vanessa when I was in San Francisco for a business meeting. She caught my eye because she is very attractive and she reminds me a lot about her. Vanessa has a reddish-brown hair wavy not curly, brown eyes light not chocolate, peach skin color just like Nessie's, and finally her face is very similar to Nessie's in that porcelain doll kind of way, extremely beautiful.

I met Vanessa almost two years ago and we dated occasionally and a lot of sex without an actual relationship. After we were seeing each other for a year we made it official by saying we were in a relationship publicly of course. Rachel hates her while Rebecca loves her, Billy says she isn't a Nessie and I agree with him. All the less I do like Vanessa I am just not in love with her. I don't think I ever will be. I am never faithful to her anyways I am always having sex with other beautiful exotic women.

My alarm clock was buzzing and I groaned. I was home now since Vanessa made me take some time off this week so I can spend with her. Vanessa wanted to move in with me and I was a bit not sure if I wanted that. I was not taking this relationship as seriously as she was. I don't think I can spend the rest of my life with her and moving in together is a real big commitment that I wasn't ready to take.

Vanessa stirred in my arms as my alarm woke her up as well. Our sex life was very tedious she only wanted me to do it missionary and for me to do all the work as she just lay on her back and received me. That was mainly one of the reasons for me to have sex with other women, not that she knew about any of them.

"Good morning honey." She greeted me. I groaned again as I hit the snooze button on the alarm. I went back to roll over. "Jacob Black wake up! Today is our day you promised me! Now wake up!" she hit me in the head with the pillow.

I don't know why lately she had been getting on my nerves. I was getting real close to telling her it was over, but I know Vanessa and she is the crazy suicidal type. I don't know what I got myself into when it came to her. I sighed again at my poor choice in judgment.

"What Vanessa! What! It's my fucking day off and you're making this all about you! All I fucking want to do is chill with my boys and relax. Calm down ok shit!" I barked at her, but seriously my patience was running low with her and I will never let a girl dominate me again and take control. That's how I got my heartbroken the first time.

She started fake crying and I could tell, she thought she could get shit from me by doing that. Vanessa comes from a rich family and she is very spoiled. Vanessa moved to Forks so she could be closer to me. I knew she was just waiting for me to tell her 'Oh no honeys move in with me' and that's not going to happen.

"Jacob Black don't you care about me I haven't seen you in two months and you won't spend some time with me." She sobbed. "I thought I was your girlfriend not your fuck buddy." She threw another pillow at my head and got up from the bed.

"Please Vanessa don't fucking start, I am not in the mood for this shit. I am fucking tired I work a lot!" I snapped at her again. "You're fucking lucky I actually took this week off for your ungrateful ass, I am starting to think I shouldn't have done this shit."

"Jacob Black you're an insensitive jerk, open up to me please honey. I am starting to feel that the feelings are one sided only. Are you fucking cheating? That's it your fucking another bitch huh!" she was accusing already. It was true I was cheating I just haven't got caught yet.

"No I just work a lot, which reminds me I have to send some paper work out for a new campaign." I lied. It meant I was meeting up with the boys to get drunk. It was two in the afternoon.

Welcome to my amazing yet fucked up life. I can tell this is going to get better in a couple more days when I do have to go back to work and away from Vanessa. I had mental chills from the though.

My life is so much better when I am working and at the office. Not to mention when your best friends work with you as well. All my friends from La Push work with me. Sam, Jared, Paul, Embry, Quil, Seth, and even Justin he needed the Job since he has a family and all. Leah became a stay at home mom. I rarely talk to Justin though he just works for me. I don't like to touch the topic since he is my Ex's best friend.

So my life has gone pretty good up until Vanessa, but it still is pretty sweet and I have lots of perks. I love my career though. So I love my life.

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**OKAY so now let me know what you think and they meet each other again next chapter and there is a Lemon, a dirty one at that Next Chapter might be up Friday or Sunday. IDK yet depending on how many reviews I get on this Chapter. Oh and Thanks for the Reviews Last chapter, I love them and yes I guess I am a Reviews Junkie LOLZ cuz I loves them they feed my ego so feed my ego and you get the next Chapter up sooner. Well loves ya!! ^_^**


	3. Ch2 Ah found ya!

**A/N: Okay because I had a lot of feedback quick Last Chapter I decided to Update earlier for you guys. I had this chapter done Already So I wanted to post it for you guys for being all so Loyal to me and I love ya for it. Well hope you like it. **

**WARNING: A none loving sexual Lemon with a drunk Nessie Lmao, it's funny because it is with someone you don't expect it to be. **

**Disclaimer: SM Again owns Twilight Characters.  
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**Chapter 2: Ah found ya!

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**Nessie**

Two amazing months had passed that I have been dating Josue. He is an amazing man. I don't know why things looked like they were changing for me. Finally it was about time. I was meeting up with Carrie so we could hang out.

"Hey Ness." she smiled at me.

"Hey Carrie, So what are we doing tonight?" I put my hand to my hip.

"We should go to this club tonight; it is going to be hot. It is the place to be." Carrie put one of her hands to her hips. She always knew where the amazing parties were. She was a major socialite.

"Ok we can go, but I have to go buy new clothes let's hit Fifth Avenue." I smiled at her; I really had picked up some bad habits from Aunt Alice. Carrie just nodded and off we were to go shopping.

I had bought these gorgeous pair of Manolo Blahnik's and a gorgeous black dress that hugged every curve on my body it was short but definitely screamed "club" scene.

We got to the club; it was definitely the place to be. It was amazing, the music went perfectly with the scene and it was the place to be. I hadn't been to a club in a while. I mostly only went when it was an exclusive opening party and I needed to attend. A lot of guys tried to hit on me and Carrie, but come on it's not going to happen. We danced the club was hot.

"Wow I haven't had fun like this in awhile; I go to parties but not with friends like this anyway." I was yelling a little bit because the music was really loud. She looked at me and smiled.

"Oh wow, you know you can count on me. We have been friends for how long now." she yelled so I can hear here over the music.

"Oh wow two years already." Carrie and I have been friends for a while and our relationship was just getting stronger. Don't get me wrong we weren't really close friends, she isn't a Justin. But we are close.

"Come on we have done so many shows together." she smiled at me; Carrie was always up beat and willing to go the next mile.

"I know I am really happy I did the Sports Illustrated shoot the pictures came out excellent. I think my fans are really going to like them." I smiled at her. I was excited that I did the shoot. One thing I loved and that was to be in front of the camera.

Now I looked so different from when I was younger. I got taller, skinner I guess, I got prettier too, and I had an amazing body. That's why I went into modeling and it worked for me. My hair was shorter it was nice it made me look older. I also didn't like to wear my hair curly as much I looked much older with straight hair. I looked way different from when I was younger. I was sexy.

"Look someone is checking you out over there." Carrie pulled on my arm and pointed at a table were there were four young men. They were hot. One was skinny but you can tell he worked out but wasn't really to physical, another one had on some major jewelry hanging from his neck and looked real cocky but he was cute, the third one looked like he was a little younger from the rest of the crew but he was equally cute. Then there was the last one he had long hair muscular body looking all delicious, he truly caught my eye.

They were at the table drinking. I could tell they were enjoying the ambience. The one with the long hair couldn't stop staring at me, and for some strange reason I couldn't stop staring back. It was like I knew him, I had seen him before. But wait it couldn't be possible.

Then a few minutes later there were woman screaming as they ran for the table where the guys were. I was like okay that was a bit weird I then decided to ignore the matter and enjoy myself while I was here. I felt someone close by to me.

"Let me get a Vodka tonic." the mystery man said while he was next to me. I was finishing my apple martini as I looked next to me to see the gorgeous man that was now standing next to me. "Hello there." he bit his lip as he looked at me. He sure was a beautiful sight, his face reminded me of someone I knew but again I wasn't sure of whom.

"Hello." I smiled at the gorgeous man next to me.

"What is a beautiful woman like you doing alone?" he licked his lips. That was the sexiest thing I have ever seen in my life and I felt the tension in between my legs. This man was gorgeous.

"Well I am not alone; I am here with a friend. I just wanted to get a drink." I motioned my half empty glass at him. He smiled at me, that smile was oddly familiar. But I might have been thinking of things. I always seem to do that when I have a guy, I always compare them to him. Almost all my ex-boyfriends have had one or more things in common with him.

"Ok I see, so can I buy you another drink?" he asked smoothly and who am I to deny a free drink. This guy was so fucking sexy. Who knows I might take him home tonight.

"Sure."

So he bought me a couple more drinks and we danced on the dance floor grinding against each other. I could feel he was getting excited.

"Do you want to get out of here?" he asked me. I wanted to so badly. This man is gorgeous and an amazing dancer. So that means he knows how to fuck.

"Sure sexy, your place or mines?" I asked smoothly.

"We can go to mines." he smiled at me.

We took a taxi to his place at a hotel. That is pure coincidence we were at the same hotel. I mean I lived there; maybe he was from out of town. I didn't make too much about it. We were making out in the taxi cab. His lips were soft and I could still taste the alcohol on his tongue. He was an amazing kisser. We got out of the taxi and made our way to his hotel room. Thank god he was staying really far away from where I was. It would be real awkward if we would bump in to each other after this.

He pushed the key into the door and opened it. He was in one of the really expensive suites. That was kind of impressive. He held his hand out to mines and guided me into the dark hotel room he closed the door and my lips went fiercely to attack his. I didn't even know this guy's name and I am guessing that was for the best.

His hands worked their way to the zipper on the back of my dress. I kicked my heels off I was really short compared to him. He was tall about 6'7, I was now 5'8. In heels I was about 6'0 or 6'1. I always wore 5 inch heels like nothing. He moved the dress slowly off my frame leaving me in my bra and panties.

He crushed his lips against mines his tongue entwined along with mines. I pulled away from him for a second undoing the buttons on his shirt. I undid them with ease. I went for his pants. I could tell he had a big dick he was really hard. I stuck my hand and gripped it he hissed at my contact with it. I was so wet that I was beginning to drip down my leg.

I haven't been this horny in a few years. Since the last time I was with Jacob. No guy has ever fucked me like Jacob has fucked me. I always compare them to him always. It has become my bad habit.

He moved me to his bed and laid me down he pulled his pants off and his boxers revealing his dick that was fucking huge but perfect. I loved it.

He came on top of me and started kissing me. He unclasped the clips on my bra and removed it. He massaged my bare breast under his warm fingers. I wrapped my legs around his waist. I just wanted to fuck. He licked my breast and gently sucked on it. I pushed him a little taking my panties off with the other hand. Like I said I just wanted to fuck. I think he caught on and finished taking my panties off. He took a condom out of the night stand. I am guessing he had many girls here.

He put the condom on and gently entered inside. Oh my god it felt fucking amazing. He was pretty thick. It hurt when he first went in me. There was no kissing just him going in and out. The way he would pump in and out hit my spot perfectly. I had to admit this was the best sex I have ever had. I think he even tops Jacob.

"Could you go a little faster?" I asked him as I was already moaning.

It felt so amazing, my breathing became heavier. I gripped the sheets underneath me. I moaned even louder screaming 'fuck' here and there. This was truly an awesome fuck.

What possessed me to be in a hotel room of a man I just met tonight beats me. All I know this was fucking the most amazing sex I have ever had. His breaths were heavy too. I think he could feel what I felt, the same most amazing thing.

Every thrust, every movement turned me on more and pushed me towards my climax.

--

The next morning I awoke to warm strong arms wrapped around my waist. Now I knew last night really happened and I actually fucked a stranger. I surprise myself every day. I know being a model is a supposed reckless job. I have really lowered my standards knowing that I have someone in my life. That I had a boyfriend and we were pretty serious.

I got up from the bed and gently pulled the guys arm from my body. He was snoring and I quickly put my clothes on. I took a quick look at the guy who was lying in the bed sleeping. He was beautiful, his tan skin, his long hair, even sleeping he was a beautiful sight.

I grabbed my shoes in my hand making sure not to make a noise. I made my way to the door and opened it gently trying not to wake him up. I closed the door gently as well.

When I was in the hallway I was scared shitless by a familiar face. I looked at the man that was standing in front of me. It looked sort of like Seth. Older of course.

"Hey." the man said he had a deep voice.

I didn't answer him as I put my heels back on and walked over to the elevator. I was really trying to get away from the area.

I got on the elevator and took it to the 25th floor. My apartment was there and I just hope nobody followed me there. I swear I don't know what had gotten into me to act in such an inappropriate matter.

I sighed and went into my room. What had I just done? I was starting to feel guilty, just hopefully I wouldn't have to remember this again.

My phone rang and I reached for it and answered. It was the one and only Josue. Fuck! I am so guilty right now.

* * *

**Jacob**

**(A week later)**

I was still in this damn hotel room with the guys. The last past week has been hectic. I have had no luck in finding that girl from the club. I have been trying to kick the guys out of my room so I can get some sleep. I was going to have the company of a female companion in a little while.

To think that after five years I still haven't gotten over her. I don't know what has made me stay away for so long. What has made her stay away? Maybe she doesn't feel the same way. Her dad hates me; he thinks I am not good enough for his daughter. I personally think that is bull shit. She was with pretty boy for awhile. I just hope that I didn't make a mistake in letting her go. I have not been able to fall for a girl just quite the same. I just use them for sex now. Not like it was any different before I met her. I just miss her I guess.

I was snapped out of my depressing thoughts by the snapping fingers of Embry. I shook the thoughts of Nessie out of my head and paid attention to him.

"Dude look at this." he said while he was ogling a magazine. I think I seen drool coming down his mouth. He started flipping through the images like if it was some dirty magazine. Probably was, knowing Embry. I rolled my eyes.

"Can ya guys leave; I am waiting for a visit pretty soon." I rolled my eyes as I stared at Embry who was still ogling the magazine. Hey I said I wasn't over her but that doesn't mean I should wait the rest of my life lonely and bitter. I am still a man an attractive man with needs.

I finally got curious to what the fuck Embry was so interested in. So I snatched the magazine from his hands. To my surprise there was the girl from the club. My jaw dropped, now I knew there was a god and I owed him big time for this one. I think I was starting to drool until Quil yelled at me.

"Jake dude, take a look at the name in the bottom of the front and then flip to page 24." he sounded so excited. I didn't know what to make of it.

But I did as he said and there was the most beautiful name that I loved. It said Vanessa (Nessie) Swan. I swear I had a huge grin on my face when I read the name over and over. To my surprise the cover was a picture of her in a forest green bikini. The sand all over her body and she was wet as you seen it in her short fiery hair. I think I fell in love all over again. I quickly flipped to page 24 like Quil said and there was a six page spread of her, the sexiest pictures ever.

"Embry you are not allowed to see this magazine again." I yelled at him.

As my eyes were set on the images and I was twisting the magazine so that I can admire every curve of her body. I suddenly felt like a teenage boy who stole his dads adult magazines and was about to jerk off. My gaze never left the magazine I examined her features. I think she was a little skinnier then last time I saw her. But then again last time I saw her she was during the incident. But even her frame from before she was a little thicker. She was toned had a beautiful figure. Her lips were still the same, that fullness and she looked so natural.

She was beautiful. I am surprised I never noticed in the club that this was my Nessie that I loved so much, and to think I fucked her that same night as well. I felt myself get an instant boner. So I knew my boys were going to have to leave now.

"Ok you guys have to go now!" I yelled as I set the magazine on the bed and kicked them out. With a little money I knew that I can get her address even maybe her number. I was going to slowly win her back by playing the secret admirer card. No one knew her better than I did. I know I should be mad at her, but I can't.

I quickly made a call and got her address didn't bother to know exactly where it was I would find out later. I decided to send her some flowers. Her favorite flowers are purple orchids. I decided on 16 bouquets with 16 flowers each, because she was 16 when we met. I am going to play a little game with her see if she figures out it is me. I remember everything about her like if it is my phone number.

I remember everything with her even the day when she lost her virginity to me. September 7th right after that fight she had for me. I think I should send her a bottle of Smirnoff triple distilled, a bottle of Absolute, some blue Hawaiian punch and raspberry jello. She has to remember that. It was the first time we ever kissed.

But as of now I needed some sexual distress to get rid of. I picked up my cell phone and quickly called the girls who were supposed to come over from before.

--

Ok so I wake up to my phone buzzing uncontrollable. It was my fucking assistant Kimberly. I swear I would have had one of the guys do it but none of them are good at being organized. Also Kimberly had the legs. She was fucking hot. I moved one of the girls that was sleeping in my arms and reached for my phone.

"Hello?"

"Mr. Black I am sorry to be calling you so early, but I had to let you know that a Reni Fasheer wants you to meet with one of his models. He said she is like something you have never seen before. I told him I was going to verify with you and then give him a call back."

"Ok does she have a name?" I had to ask because if she is like nothing I have ever seen then I don't know. I have seen some beautiful exotic woman before.

"Hold on let me pull out the file."

I waited maybe a minute before Kimberly came on the line again.

"Her name is Vanessa Swan."

My jaw dropped. I so totally owed god big time for this one. I swear I was now in debt to him for the rest of my life.

"Oh please, schedule an appointment for them today at 9am sharp." I was going to have fun with this one. I had to. This was my Nessie I was going to see. I wonder what she will say when she find out it is me.

"Ok Mr. Black." I hung up on her.

I looked at the time it was 6am. I have to make the best of this. I got up pushing both girls that were in my arms off and I walked to the shower.

I took a nice hot shower. When I came out I kicked both girls out. I mean last night was a very great day for me. But I have a feeling today is going to be a even greater day for me. I got dressed into my navy blue Armani suit. Looking very sexy if I don't say so myself. I put on my custom made Italian leather shoes on. I was looking extra handsome right now. I knew that if she saw me she would be all over me.

I looked at the time it was 7am. I decided on some breakfast. I wouldn't stay in the confinements of my Hotel room so I would be going down to one of the many restaurants this hotel has to offer.

I went downstairs and enjoyed a amazing breakfast. I looked now at the time it was 8am and me being the boss I should be at our office here in New York early. I was kind of nervous to see her knowing it is her after so many years. I still love her I truly do. She is my light. I swear anybody in the office is getting a fucking raise today. Just because I get to see the love of my life today.

I got into my car and my driver drove me to the office. I was in a very good mood today. When I got there, there was a fucking Fag standing there wearing this red suit looked Italian with a flower print chiffon scarf, he had on a pair of pink aviator glasses. He was real short and had his bright red hair didn't help much either. This guy was beyond queer.

"Hello may I help you?" I said to the man standing there.

"Oh my Mr. Black darling, I am Reni Fasheer. Vanessa's manager." he said while waiving his scarf around. I think this guy was too gay to function.

"Nice to meet you, where is Vanessa?" I had to ask I was so curious to know where my princess was.

"She is on her way she got stuck in traffic. So are you single darling?" he was trying to hit on me. This just made my day go down fall.

"No I am not." technically that was the truth I had my girlfriend. By coincidence her name is Vanessa too; Small world only Vanessa model Vanessa's name is really Renesmee.

"Oh tsk tsk that is sad beef cake." he snapped his teeth at me and I wasn't sure as to be scared or disgusted.

"Let's go to my office." I said real disgusted at that point. "Kimberly when Ms. Swan arrives pass her to my office."

"Sure thing Mr. Black."

So I was waiting patiently for Ms. Swan to arrive. So like her to want to use Vanessa Swan as her famous name. I am happy though that she still goes by Nessie the nickname I gave my angel. Even after all these years she is still my mama. I still love her and those chocolate brown eyes of hers.

After getting some real awkward glances from Reni, The intercom on the phone buzzed and it was Kimberly saying Ms. Swan was here. I told her to let her come through. I decided to turn my seat to face the window so when she came in and sat down I would turn myself completely so she can see my face. I was going to have a great day. I turned my chair around and I heard the door open.

"Have a seat Ms. Swan." I called as I was staring at the skyscrapers and the little bit of the bluish grayish sky I could see.

"Ok.... Mr. Black." she hesitated. Her voice was amazing. I am guessing she read the plack that was on my desk. That was my cue to slowly turn my chair around.

So I did just that and slowly turned my chair to see my mama. I finally turned around and what I saw was my mama was all grown up and looked fucking delicious. I swear if the fucking queer wasn't in the room I would be all over my princess in a second.

"Nice to meet you Ms. Swan," I calmly said as I stuck my hand out to greet her. She looked at me with wide eyes and her jaw dropped. Just like if she had seen a ghost. I knew she knew who I was. Come on I am Jacob Black she can't forget her Poppa.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Black, Um... Reni do you mind if I speak to Mr. Black alone." she looked at me and then quickly turned her head to Reni. My mama wanted to be alone with me. Hum that is a good thing I guess.

"Ok Ness, I will be right outside if you need Me." the guy left the room and it was just me and my mama in the room.

--

"So Renesmee how have you been?" I asked her very calmly.

"You did this on purpose didn't you. Ugh this is so typical of you Jacob." she sighed and then pinched the bridge of her nose.

"I didn't do anything; your Gay guy got in contact with me and told me that you were simply the best. You don't go by Renesmee Cullen anymore so I didn't think it was you." I was being completely honest with her. Well sort of. I got up from my chair and walked next to her. "If we are going to do business I suggest we do so." after I said that her phone rang. Oh just great.

"I am sorry Jacob I have to get this." she said as she answered the phone. I was paying so much attention to her conversation I could even hear the person on the other line.

"Hello?" it was a guy's voice.

"Hey Josue." she answered really happy probably her boyfriend. Just fucking great!

"Hey love. I was wondering if you wanted to go to lunch with me today. I will take you to my favorite Italian restaurant princess." he had a real heavy accent like he was French or some shit.

"Oh no Josue honey I can't do lunch, but I can do dinner ok honey. I am a little tied up at the moment I will call you later ok honey." and then she hung up.

"Boyfriend?" I asked. I had to admit I was a little jealous.

"Sort of." she answered teasingly.

"Ness I don't care we aren't together." I so fucking cared.

"Well Josue and I aren't exclusive but I really like him. He is amazing." I saw the glint in her eye this girl was happy. Maybe even in love with the guy. But the glint in her eye was nowhere near the glint in her eyes she had when we were together.

For some strange reason I just wanted her to be happy and nothing else. I guess she really is over me. I don't know what to speculate anymore. She likes to play. I guess I ended turning into the person I am now because of her. I don't think I can ever fall in love again because of how she left my heart. I just can't trust another woman. After everything I went through with her.

"Ok I see. So can we be friends? I would think that would be the best if we kept it professional but I would like to stay friends with you."

She looked at me with her wide eyes.

"Yea I would like that." she smiled.

"Good now let's talk business. Congratulations you got the part. I expect for you to be able to be on time, to be professional and most of all can you let a friend take you to lunch tomorrow?" I know I ended that real smooth.

"Well tomorrow yes, but as of now I have a previous engagement that I must attend to." she smiled.

"Oh really, well tomorrow clear your whole schedule because we have work to do for the commercials and the shots for the magazines. I need to know if I am really getting a good deal. I mean I have seen some of the shoots you have done. They are pretty impressive." I motioned to her. I walked back and sat down in my big boss chair.

"How long are you staying out here?" she asked me. I turned my chair to look at her.

I did have some work to do at the office I had in Washington. But I could transfer the paper work and stay in New York a while longer. But also Vanessa has been stressing me out to go see her. So I really don't know what to say to her.

"Well tops two weeks as of now, but if they need me here a while longer than I can stay awhile longer. Why? Don't tell me you have a crush on your boss?" I shook my head teasingly.

"No! Now why would I have a crush on you?" she said it a little hesitant. I knew she still wanted me. I am the best she ever had.

"Ness I know you better than anyone does. That is how I know." I said leaning myself a little closer to her on my desk.

"Whatever Mr. Black, now if we are done here I have somewhere to be." she said as she got up.

"Yes we are done for today."

She got up fully and started to walk to the door. She turned back to look at me and I winked at her and smiled. I saw her squirm and that's when I knew I still had it.

"Oh Ms. Swan, may I have your phone number?" I was a dickwad if I didn't ask for it before.

"Sure 917- 621-5555" she said and I quickly wrote it down. "Call me whenever ok and I mean it. Call me or text me. It is nice to know we can be friends." and she walked out my door.

So I was there still puzzled about that this actually just happened. I loved everything about this. I thought about this day for the last 6 years I never thought I could actually have her back in my life. So why did I still want her to be mines?

So about 6 years ago when she was mines, we went through a lot of things. Her father hates me. Probably still hates me. He really thinks I am the wrong guy for his daughter. I never cheated on her not once when we were together, even though she went out with pretty boy. Shit made me sick. She always used to choose me over anyone. I was the man who took her virginity. I loved her probably more than any man can love her and I still actually want to be with her. So conclusion I will make her mines again. Problem though, she does have a boyfriend some what, and then again it is me, she can't say no to her poppa.

One thing that shocked me about her is we had sex last week, knowing she had a boyfriend she still went through with it. Maybe she was just that drunk? Doubt it seriously. I had to admit it was the best sex I have had in a long time. I can't deny she is the best I ever had. Same way as I am towards her.

I couldn't help but fantasize while I was in my office, having her bent over my desk while I am pumping in and out of her slick wet warm pussy. Fuck! I don't even want to be thinking of this right now. I got an instant boner just now.

I hadn't realized how much I have missed her body, due to the fact I haven't had her. When I had her last week awe man was it fucking sparks. I will have fun with this; I need to create a game plan again. I know it would be easier to get her back just because I know how she is.

* * *

**Nessie**

I wanted to scream my lungs out. I can't believe the guy I screwed a week ago and is my new boss is Jacob Black. I was stressing even more about this, part of me was praying for this day to come, but not like this. I seriously never thought it would come to this, to be honest him coming in my life and paying my salary was kind of making me have second thoughts about taking the deal.

He looked like as if he already knew this was going to happen and I have no doubt in my mind he did. This had Jacob Black written all over it. I just can't believe I didn't see it coming. I should have seen all the warning signs, young, rich in only a matter of years. To be exact it was five years so why didn't I see this coming?

I want to question myself now. Am I happy that this happened? Part of me says hell fucking yes. Is this a second opportunity? I have no clue. I guess this happened for a reason; maybe Jacob Black is my soul mate. I highly doubt that I have many things in common with Josue Cartier besides the fact we both love art.

Josue is the kind of guy who collects rare valuable things. I have noticed that about him. Maybe I am just something to add to his collection. Not once has he showed signs of it, but I always wonder.

I was on my way to meet my Aunt Alice; she was going shopping for her son Alexander who is three years old. I had agreed to go with her to lunch and some shopping.

The whole interview with Jacob was last minute and very unprofessional of him to set up a meeting on such short notice. What can you say he hasn't had much training in business savvy and etiquette. I guess that is something he will gain with more experience.

I know that during the last years in my career I have been busting my butt to get somewhere further then where I was before when I just started. I have done sports illustrated and many campaigns for clothing brands.

When I arrived to the toy store Alice wanted me to meet her at which was F.A.O Schwarz. Like I said she wanted to buy little Alexander some things. Alexander is the cutest kid. He follows more after Jasper with his rich golden locks and deep blue eyes just like a little mini Jasper.

"Alice! I need your help." I said as I spotted her in front of the store on 58th street.

"What's wrong my lovely niece?" she raised her eyebrow as she had Alexander in his red Maclaren stroller.

"Jacob Black is my boss." I needed to tell someone who knew about my past.

"Really? I always liked that one." She smiled as she danced along into the store.

"Alice! This is serious should I take the deal or not?" I needed some advice from the woman who always tell things before they happen.

"I say stick it out, I have a feeling it will be worth it in the long run."She winked at me.

"Alice this isn't one of your freaky clairvoyant things is it?"I raised my eyebrow at her.

"No Ren, a blind man can see you and Jacob were meant to be together. You're just so blind and stubborn to see that. I swear you're just like your mother. It took her and Edward almost 15 years just to get back together. What is wrong with you Cullen's?" she shook her head in defeat as we went to the baby section. I still get a little emotional when I do, but I have learned to deal with it.

It wasn't meant for my son to live and it hurts still, but not as much as before. I have learned to deal with the pain a lot better with time. Time heals all wounds right?

"Ren I am so sorry." Alice looked apologetic and I didn't need her sympathy I had to get over this one way or another. I couldn't let the loss of my child get to me; you just have to push forward.

"No Alice I am fine really. I decided to come I knew this was going to happen. As to the whole Jacob Black thing I do not love him." Lie! My brain and heart screamed at me.

"Alright Ren keep lying to yourself." She rolled her eyes and continued to look for some stuff for Alexander.

So I was a bit iffy on the next day. I was thinking of becoming a coward and chickening out from the deal with Jacob, nothing was in a binding Contract yet we would work that out tomorrow. I wanted to go and I didn't. I wanted him again yet I couldn't. I just complicate my life further, Renesmee you have a boyfriend just remember that. I kept repeating that to myself and wanting to ignore it at the same time.

When I got home that evening I had a bunch of flowers in my apartment, my favorite Purple Orchids. They were all 16 flowers in each bouquet and I found that a bit odd. But I searched the flowers for cards and none had one. This had Jacob Black written all over it and it was very sweet. I hated him for it.

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**Well I hope you loved it and Jake is trying to get in her Pants again, even though he already did he does very much care for her. Well Now tell me how I did! I love to hear what you guys think and you should have enough confidence with me to do so, I give answers to people who do Review since most of the time I do answer my reviews back. Well Next Chapter will be up tuesday no earlier then that sorry guys I have to have ya miss me lol. Well get your feedback in! ^-^**


	4. Ch3 Hunger Desire

**A/n: I was going to wait until tomorrow to update, but I finished today and I love you guys and I got a lot of reviews Last Chapter and I won't let ya wait an extra day. Well here is Chapter 3 and I hope ya love it because I like it. So tell me what ya think.**

**Disclaimer: SM OWNZ IT.**

**WARNING: LEMON IN THE CHAPTER.**

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**Chapter 3: Hunger = Desire**

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**Nessie**

When I saw all the beautiful flowers in my apartment my heart couldn't help but flutter and I felt the blush rush to my cheeks. I began to frown since I remembered I had a dinner date with Josue my boyfriend. I sighed and went to get ready for my date. I haven't had sex with Josue yet, not that I haven't wanted to.

I decided to wear a deep red silk dress that hugged my curves along with a pair of black Jimmy choo heels. I pinned my hair to the sides and decided to go a bit curly leaving some curls to the side as it held my hair with a silver diamond clip. I did some simple natural makeup.

I got a call from Josue letting me know he was about five minutes from me. I grabbed a black clutch and the wrap that went with my dress I applied some red lip gloss as I awaited Josue to come. When my intercom buzzed I knew he was here so I decided to go down to the lobby.

I saw my boyfriend looking amazing in a pearl gray Armani dress shirt and some dark grey slacks which I presume are Armani. His dirty blonde hair and his beautiful green eyes that sparkled every time he looked at me, I was still captivated by him. Josue has this quality about him that is hard to ignore he is truly a very amazing man with a million dollar personality, he is very humble even with his fame and I admire him for it.

"You look amazing amour." He kissed my lips soft and sensual. His lips never lingered to boring and always had a bit of fire towards them. I of course never noticed it much until now.

"Thank you mon amour (my love)" I blushed slightly as he grabbed me by the waist and guided me towards the car.

Dinner went amazingly well as always. He always takes me to a fancy restaurant where we drink wine and soft music is playing. Today he took me on a horse carriage ride through central park. I had to admit it was quite romantic. It was mid August.

He took me back to my apartment and he left me to my door. He leaned in and kissed me this kiss was a bit more deep and with added passion and I can really say it was hot. I think the only reason why it got to that point was because I was thinking of Jacob. I missed his lips and how his kisses always send chills and electrical currents up my spine. I can't deny the fact that he excites me he makes me hot. I am starting to think that all I feel for him is desire.

We said our goodnight and I went inside my apartment. I looked at the clock and it was 3am. I sighed and went to take a quick shower and got dressed in my pajamas. When I got to my room I saw the screen to my cell phone light up. It was a text and I imagined it would be Josue telling me good night again.

I was surprised when I looked at the phone and I didn't recognize the number I opened the text and it said: **Good night, hope you have sweet dreams just like the beautiful angel you are but we are just friends – Jacob**

"Oh wow." I said out loud and giggled.

I wrote him back: **Jacob I am writing back to your good night message it made me laugh, but me and you that was a long time ago. Good we can be friends. **

He wrote me back quickly: **Ok I know we are going to be just friends I understand that, but friends stay in each other's lives. You can call me or text me whenever.**

"He's too much." I giggled again. I decided to give him a call since I was getting a little tired of texting.

"_Hello." _His voice sounded smooth and sexy a little deep as well. It turned me on.

"Hey sunshine!" I giggled. I guess he always got me in that great mood.

"_What's up surprise you're calling me." _he chuckled in the beginning because I called him sunshine.

"Can't sleep." This was partially correct.

"_You can't sleep because you are hungry."_

"Huh?" that caught me off guard.

"_You don't eat."_ He corrected himself. That was a lie I did eat and I had to defend myself.

"I do." I said defensive.

"_Nope, like before you had ass for days; I mean you still do but not like before." _He defended himself back and that was mean from his part.

"Oh my! That's mean. I am just on a strict diet now. I have to take care of my body. Why aren't you sleeping?"

"_Had some inspiration for a new car design, but now I am stuck so I send you a little message like I do with all my friends."_

"Really?"

"_Yea, so you never told me why you couldn't sleep?" _he pressed a little and I giggled at his persistence.

"I just got home not so long ago."

I had to admit it was a bit relaxing to talk to him like we used to talk. I was comfortable with him and I think that's a good thing.

"_Ok cool." _

"How about you? How have you been?" I was being friendly and that is a good thing that we were friends.

"_Busy with my company, I went a long way from working with scrap metal to having that make me who I am." _He was being a little cocky and I started getting a bit out of it and to how he used to be very talented with his tongue.

"Yea you were so talented back then." I blurted out without wanting to.

"_What do you mean back then, I am still talented."_

I giggled. "Well you didn't understand me, good." I let out a sigh of relief that he didn't catch me being a perv after him.

"_What do you mean?"_ He was trying to get me to tell him what I meant.

"Forget it." I sighed in a little bit of aggravation.'

"_Oh!" _he finally understood and I flushed crimson.

The next thing I said was a bit subconsciously and I didn't realize I said it. "Yea did you miss me?" I wanted to slap myself for saying it.

"_Why do you ask that?" _I couldn't back down now I had to give an answer.

"I am curious to know. I thought about you every time I would think about our son." I sighed and I didn't want to cry, but I knew I wouldn't break down.

"_Of course I could never forget about you." _

"But did you miss me?" I was still curious to know.

"_Yea some way more than others, you miss me"_

"No." I was lying. Of course I thought about him like nonstop.

"_What!?" _

"Yea I missed you."

"_Always the same, you never going to change." _I could picture him shake his head.

"You neither." I knew I sounded a little childish.

"_Oh trust me I am grown."_ He was being cocky Jake.

"Oh really?" again I was taking it the wrong way and let my perverted mind take over.

"_Yea." _

"Hard to believe." I scoffed a little.

"_Well we haven't hung out in years and people change."_

"Are you making a date with me?" I sounded flirty and I liked the idea of that.

"_Don't you have a boyfriend."_ He threw the boyfriend card in my face.

"Yea but we are friends."

"_Yea, but you have to say Please Jacob big daddy you're the best."_ He laughed at the end and I shook my head.

"No." I said out bluntly.

"_It was worth a try sure why not. We can go to lunch later today like I said." _

I looked at the clock and it said it was 6am. We had talked for a little less than 3 hours and I was a little surprised by that.

"Well I am tired now and it is 6 in the morning, I have to wake up early to see you." I giggled.

He chuckled. "Yea I am your boss, but I'll let you slide since I am the boss you can sleep an hour later. Good night mama." He blew me a kiss and he hung up the phone before I could respond.

He definitely knew where he had me so I was a little threatened by that, but in a good way. I fell asleep with a smile on my face to know he still cares about me. He can make me blush with just blowing a kiss through the phone.

**

* * *

Jacob**

I think last night was the first time I have slept good in a real long time. I know I shouldn't be so accepting of having her back. She did fuck with my heart back then and left me a semi- cold hearted person. I think I am always going to have a warm spot for her no matter what.

I woke up a little earlier than usual and looked at my phone several times. I wanted to text her, but I was hesitant. I didn't want to come off sounding needy or in any type of way like obsessed with her because I am not. I have love for her but I also have boundaries.

Should I call her? Do I call her? Now? Now? Damn it Jacob Black are you seriously nervous about Renesmee your Ex girlfriend? No I am not. I think I will just wait until I see her later this morning.

I took a cold shower to shake any uneasy tensions off my shoulders. I quickly got dressed and went to get some breakfast. I was going to admit I was looking forward to today.

I got in the car and made my way to the office. I had a smile on my face. My phone went off and it was a call from Vanessa I was a bit shocked since it was 8am here and it is 5am. I pressed ignore just because I didn't want to talk to her and then she ruins my day by her arguing with me.

When I arrived at the office Kimberly was already there and typing something on the computer.

"Kimberly please let me know when Ms. Swan arrives." I had to admit I really wanted to see her.

I went into my office and looked over some spreadsheets and company balances. About an hour later Kimberly came on the intercom and told me Nessie was here. Nessie came into my office with a smile on her face. I looked up at her and smiled back.

"Good morning Ms. Swan, are you ready to look over to what you will be doing?" I looked at her face and she was looking forward to what I had in store for her.

"Yes Mr. Black I think I am a little ready for anything you can throw at me." I liked her answer and I was getting turned on by it for some strange reason. She ran her hand through her short hair. I couldn't help but analyze her up and down.

"Is that right." I got up and walked over to the filing cabinet and pulled out a file. "Well Ms. Swan these are the ideas for the campaign, I have had my associates provide an excellent campaign and I am sure you will look amazing. You can look over it and see if you like what they want you to do and I promise I had nothing to do with it." I handed her the folder and she looked at it.

"A bikini really?" she laughed. I think I might have blushed a little but it was because of the way she said it. I turned and went back to sit in my chair.

Everything was going very smooth and I liked it. She agreed to everything that was for the campaign and that was a great thing. As I watched her look over the file she looked sexy as she pushed some hair behind her ear.

This girl was sexy and I wanted her. She looked up at me once more and bit her lip. I licked my top lip with a sensual mood. I noticed she swallowed hard and I liked the effect I had on her. I couldn't help but chuckle, she was too cute.

"So why don't we order lunch or do you prefer to go out?" I asked her.

"Going out is fine." She swallowed hard once more.

We went out to eat we were inside the restaurant and I don't know why it felt like we were on a date. It screamed it and I liked it. I think she noticed that was the case because she looked awkwardly at me.

The waitress walked over to the table with menus in her hand which she dropped to the floor. "Oh my god! Its Vanessa Swan!" she yelled and then turned to look at me and screamed even louder. "Oh my god Jacob Black!" my ears were ringing from her scream.

"I think we should get out of here." Nessie said calmly and I nodded my head to agree with her.

We got up from the table and went outside to the car. The only problem now was a bunch of paparazzi with Cameras taking shots now. I grabbed her hand and pulled her into the car. The only side effect of this was I was still hungry.

"So what are we going to do?" I asked laughing a bit. This is the first time something like that had happened to me and it had to happen with Nessie.

"I don't know about you, but I am hungry." She pouted and crossed her arms. I laughed at her it was cute and that's the Nessie I remember.

"Why don't we go back to my place and just order some take out." I offered.

"Oh no Jacob Black you remember what happened last time I went to your place." She frowned. She peered over her shoulder and I winked at her and she blushed.

"And I still have it." I chuckled cockily.

"I hate you Jacob Black." She rolled her eyes and looked out the window.

"I love you too." I smiled. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her and it felt like this was right. We were just two friends hanging out. "So when you going to Washington?"

"Soon, I want to see my mom and family." She smiled and I knew that's what she wanted.

"Oh ok." I answered.

"Why don't we go back to my place?" she asked me. I agreed and turns out we were staying at the same hotel.

When we got to the hotel and went up to her place. I had to admit her apartment was pretty nice. I saw the flowers I sent her all over the hall as soon as we walked in and I smiled, I wanted to mess with her.

"I like these flowers." I said as I gripped one of them in between my fingers.

"Yea I love orchids." She smiled.

"From your boyfriend?" I raised my eyebrow. I knew very well I had sent them. She looked a bit puzzled as she looked at the flowers once more.

"No I don't know who their from." I winked at her after she said that.

"I think I know." I smiled.

"How? Who?" she asked me a bit puzzled again. Nessie isn't very perceptive.

"I know because I was the one who sent them." I chuckled and she hit me playfully in the chest.

"I figured, but why 16 sets?" she asked.

"Because we met when you were sixteen." A smile spread on her face.

"Oh ok, but how did you get my address?" I took a deep sigh and told her the truth.

"I am rich it's easy with some money." That was the truth. I was thinking she was just some random girl I fucked that night at the club, but when I found out it was my Nessie I did something special.

"You surprise me." she smiled and we went into her living room, which consisted of white couches with red pillows and a glass coffee table with little figurines. It was very modern looking I will admit that.

"So where's your little boyfriend from?" I don't know why the questioned just slipped from my lips. I am normally more careful at the words I choose before I speak.

"Stop treating him like that, but he is from France." I know I shouldn't have cared much, but I kind of did. You always have to observe the competition right?

"So you moved to white men Nessie?" I teased her. But she does have a colorful taste in men, because let's be honest she dated me. Also that Spanish prick I fought, that pretty boy that looked like me. She is just going international on me.

"I guess I wanted to try something different beside American born men." She teased right back and I had to admit that was a bit cold from her part. "With me I want to try something different, most of the American guys I have dated have been the same no more. I am tired of it, I have dated some west coast guys not all of them are bad some are good, but some no them too got me tired. I guess there are no good men at all left."

I felt offended by that because I know I am a good, responsible man. She made me feel very offended and it hit close to my pride. I knew I was going to have to say something about it.

"You're wrong there is one right in front of you." I defended myself since she hit my pride. There are some things you just can't say. That was much closed mined of her.

She giggled. "That's because you're a man, you say that." She giggled again and looked me in the eyes. I had to forgive her as long as I looked her in her chocolate brown eyes she could have anything she wanted.

"No the time I was with you did I treat you bad?" I still had to clarify that I was the best she ever had.

"No." she added sheepishly and I knew I still had her.

"Nope, but you stomped my heart so many times. You made me this man I am today. I don't give a shit." I added coldly. I guess I can say I am still a little bitter from how she left me those years back. We have never talked about this and I think it was very necessary.

"Now you're over reacting." She called me on it, but it was the truth. She did break my heart and I somewhat can thank her for it.

"No I am serious! I don't care now, I just use bitches to fuck now. I don't care if they fall in love. I don't care I fell in love once and that was it." I looked away from her for a minute. She grabbed my chin so I could look at her.

"What are you talking about?" I hated that she was trying to be the victim when she was actually the aggressor in this case. She broke my heart and I was getting a bunch of feelings from then that I didn't want.

"I am serious. I don't want to fall in love again. I don't think my heart can deal with that pain again. Nope." I frowned but looked her in the face.

"I am sorry I made you feel that way, you were my first love to and I realized that. You don't know what I went through my whole pregnancy. I only thought about you that's why I didn't want to tell you. I didn't want to ruin your life, but that was a mistake I made. You don't know how much I cried. I wanted to tell you, but I knew you had dreams and I think if we would have had our son, we would've not of had anything we have now. God gives us second chances to look at life. I mean yea I loved our son and I would've loved to of had him, but god didn't and we were too young also. We weren't prepared for him to come either." I could see she had thought about this a lot and I was shocked at her answer.

I guess the loss of that baby really made her grow up a lot. I never expected her to become so wise from that experience and I am very impressed by it.

"When did you get so smart?" I asked her since I was still in utter shock.

"I've always been smart." She giggled. I love her giggle and her smile it is something I can always look at and never seize to be amazed and dazzled by it.

"I've always liked that about you Nessie." I admitted honestly. She just opened my eyes more and I think if possible I loved her more.

"Oh Really?" she raised her eyebrow seductively.

"Yupp." I moved closer to her and I kissed her. I caught it as a cue that she wanted it. She didn't pull away and she wrapped her arms around my neck and deepened the kiss. I pushed my tongue out and she opened and let her tongue find mines. I have to admit at that moment I forgot about Vanessa and it was all about Nessie.

She pulled away and looked a little guilty. "Jacob stop I can't." that bothered me a bit because it took her so long just to pull away.

"It took you awhile just to pull away." I knew she still had to feel something for me still.

"I can't do it Jacob I'm sorry." She frowned and looked down. I moved my hand so I could cup her chin. I only had one question for her.

"Why not?" I really needed to know the answer.

"Because of Josue, Jacob you should know. Don't you have a girlfriend?" she hesitated a bit on the end, but what I was about to propose it was just blurted out and not thought out again.

"Yea, but he don't have to know and she don't have to know." I know I was trying to persuade her into this.

"But I would know Jacob." She sounded guilty because I kissed her and I didn't want her to be.

"Look I know you feel something for me still and you can't deny it."

"I never will deny it, but I can't." she frowned and looked away and I swear I felt like I was living a soap opera at this moment.

"You're a grown ass woman can't nobody tell you anything now." I knew I had a point.

"I know, but I feel it's wrong since I'm in a relationship." I had to admit I could respect her for that. I still felt a little rejected from it.

"Ok I respect that." I nodded my head.

"Yea maybe you should go." She said it a bit awkwardly and I bet I put us in that position. She was right though.

"Yea you're right I should." I got up from the couch. I sighed in defeat and I knew I could admit it. I knew this wouldn't be the last time for this. I am a very persistent person and I am used to getting what I want.

"I'll call you or text you. I have your number." We both knew we wanted more then what we had now.

"Alright." I answered simply. She walked me to the door and she kissed me on the cheek, and I left. I knew it was a little too early to even mention something like that just yet. I went to my room a little upset with myself for my actions toward her.

**

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Nessie**

After he left everything felt so wrong with this picture. I tried my all just not to go after him and telling him all I wanted was him. I chose what I have now and Jacob is the past. I shouldn't have to drop everything because he wants me too. Not that I don't want too. I never stopped loving him, he was my first love and the kiss just brought back everything I felt for him. I had even forget about Josue.

I knew things were going to get awkward with Jacob when I see him again. I just hope things don't change too much with him because I would hate that.

(A week went by)

With Jacob we never really saw each other again since that day. We always used messengers to do business with and I really didn't like that. I didn't like the fact that things were awkward and we couldn't stick to being friends. We would text like every other day and it would be about business he kept it strictly professional.

I felt like I basically messed everything up with my mouth and I didn't want that. We weren't children anymore we were adults and that is how we should of went about things.

--

The night came and I had another date with Josue. He mentioned for me to dress nice. I decided on a black dress with a few pleats in the front and a huge bow on the back. I went with some black jimmy choo shoes with crystal accents on the front. I went with some Le Vian 49pt diamond & pink freshwater pearl earrings and a black clutch. Josue showed up in the evening and we went to a restaurant what we normally do. This was a little different now. After dinner we went to a club. Everything was calm and I never really went to a club with him before. It was something new. He said he was going to meet up with a friend and he didn't want to leave me just like that. I agreed and we went to the club.

I seriously felt over dressed for the club, but what can you do. At least I will be the best dressed girl there. We went inside the club with ease. We kind of got there late, but the club still had the music playing loudly and it was a nice ambience. We walked over to a table with four guys and my jaw dropped I should have known one of his friends would be one of them. It is like Jacob Black is following me and I can't escape him. I sighed internally and went to sit next to Jacob.

"What you doing here?" Jacob asked me.

"Obviously came to see you." I smiled. Josue lifted his eyebrow.

"You know each other?" Josue was still a little puzzled.

"Yea I know all of them." I smiled at the guys.

"Oh ok so then you know my friend Embry Call." Josue said smoothly and I had no clue he knew Embry and how they even met.

"Yea." I answered honestly.

"So this is the missy you were telling me about Josue." Embry eyed me and Jake and I knew he knew the history there.

"Yea I didn't know she knew you." Josue answered. I was still memorized by him. He was a sweet heart.

"Yea we go way back to Washington." Embry winked at me; like he was keeping a secret and I wanted to laugh.

"I could have told you. How do you know Embry?" Now I was curious to know how he knew Embry.

"A couple years ago, I was doing a photo shoot during a car expo and we became friends ever since then. I have been helping him with putting a club in the Seattle area." It sounded like a business relationship and I admired it a lot.

"Yea that's correct Josue." Embry was being his cocky self and I missed that about the guys.

"So how did ya meet mon amour?" Josue asked me. I was going to be honest minus some other details from my past.

"We were all friends in Washington." I smiled and giggled a little remembering some of the things we went through as friends.

"Yea friends." Jacob choked out as he sipped his drink. I giggled at Jacob.

"Yea I didn't know we were going to come here. Josue surprised me." I winked at Josue.

"So when we're going to Washington?" Jacob asked me as he nudged my shoulder.

"I told you before soon because of my family." I looked at him and smiled.

"Yea, but I said as you and me." he corrected himself and that made me swallow hard.

"I don't know." I answered him. I guess we were over the whole awkward scene. Or maybe he was just acting like that because he doesn't like my boyfriend.

"You were going to go to Washington and you didn't tell me?" Josue looked over to me with a shocked look.

"Well I promised my best friend I was going to go, my god children's birthday is soon." It was the reason I was going since I haven't seen most of my family in years.

"Oh I'll go with you." Josue said and the only thing on my mind was 'What?'

"What?" not only did I say it but so did Jacob and I looked over at him since we both said it at the same time.

"Yea I will go with you, I haven't been to Washington in a while and I could see some of my associates in Seattle so it's perfect." After Josue said that I still had my jaw dropped. I never expected him to actually go with me. It was a complete shock. "I was going to go after the shoot I have with you next week." I was still a little iffy on it, but he is my boyfriend.

"Ok so it's set." He smiled that pearly white smile.

"Wow." Was the only thing Jacob said and he sent me a text message and yes he was right next to me too. Damn that dude has you on lock lol – Jacob You're crazy that's not even true, you don't know anything. – Nessie

"Come here." He blurted out. I looked at him a little shocked I hope he wasn't trying to hit on me while my boyfriend was right in front of both of us.

"What?" I answered a little concerned. I didn't need to say anything else and he snapped a picture of me with his phone.

"Stop don't take pictures of me." I snapped at him. I wonder what the hell he would do with it any way.

"I want to have a picture of you." I guess he was trying to flirt on the low.

"Why?" I raised my eyebrow at him.

"Not for what you're thinking, we are friends and I wanted to put a picture for your number. Very innocent Nessie." He smiled at me and that's all he was doing.

"Oh I'll just send you my screensaver on my phone. I love that picture so much." I smiled as I pulled my phone out again.

"Conceited ass." Jacob mumbled.

"No you're talking let me see your phone." I felt a little insulted that he said I was conceited I bet he had a bunch of pictures of himself. He is very self-centered.

"Nope." He said as he popped the p in the word.

"Why not?" I said giggling.

"Let me see yours?" we were acting as if no one else was there.

"No I can't do that." I giggled again and then tried to make a serious face, but with Jake it doesn't work.

"Why?" he wiggled his eyebrow and I started laughing again since he broke my serious face.

"I got some pictures." I said as I giggled at him. I was all giggly and that's that I didn't drink yet

. "Oh really, what kind of pictures we're talking about?" He said suggestively and it was kind of sexy.

"I think we both know what kind of pics." I winked at him and giggled again. I couldn't get it out of my system.

"Oh really." He bit his bottom lip and raised his eyebrow

. I laughed and snapped him out of his mood. "No stupid."

"Ok so send me the picture and stop fronting."

"Like always, I see things aren't going to change between you two." Embry shook his head and went back to talk to Josue.

"No things have changed from back then, come on." I knew what he meant by that and I agreed. A lot of things changed from back then.

"Sure has and sent." I looked up as I finished sending the pictures.

"Ok let me check." He looked at his phone. "I like that pic." He nodded his head.

"I know." I smiled at him. He sent me a text: **I like the pictures especially the last three. ;-) Jacob**

I had sent him a couple pics of me in lingerie it was very innocent and not sexual at all, but he took it that way. "Oh I know." I winked at him.

"I am serious though." Jacob said honestly and I knew he liked the pictures.

"Nessie come here mon amour." Josue said sweetly and I like that about him.

"Yes honey." I said as I looked at him.

"You want to leave now." I could tell he wanted to leave and I wasn't ready to go just yet. Since I was having fun with Jake.

"Awe I really don't want to go since they leave tomorrow and I don't know when I am going to see them again." It was the truth Jake had told me he was leaving to go to Washington soon.

"Ok fine, but I am going to leave now ok mon amour." He looked a little disappointed, but I was staying. I am a grown woman.

"Ok bye."

"You're not going to come say good bye to me the right way?" he raised his eyebrow. I kind of didn't want to do it in front of Jake.

"Of course." I smiled at him. I got up and kissed him and he gripped my waist and we were kissing for at least five minutes. I finally pulled away and said

"Wow." I never expected for him to add so much passion to a kiss.

"I'll see you tomorrow, I'll come get you ok mon amour." He caressed my cheek.

"Ok bye mon amour." I said and then he finally walked away and left. "That dude has you on lock." Jacob shook his head. It wasn't true at all. I did what I wanted when I wanted. I sensed him a little jealous and I kind of liked the way he would get red faced.

"No I don't know what you're talking about." I stuck my nose in the air.

"You know it is just about time that dude puts his hands on you, and if he does. I am going to beat his ass. I don't care where in the world I am wherever he is I am going to beat his ass." He became very defensive and I knew I still had him at that point. The jealous Jake was back.

"Is this because you still feel something for me?" I raised my eyebrow. "No who told you that?" he hesitated a bit and I laughed a little.

"Well I just thought." I smiled.

"You thought wrong." He smiled back at me and I knew he was lying.

"Actually can you take me home I am a little tired?" Which was true, I was tired. I had a long day.

"Ok no problem. I'll meet you guys at the hotel later ok." He said to the guys and we went to the car and we went to my place. When we were in the car I started a conversation.

"So what time you leave tomorrow?" I asked him. I was a little curious as to when I would see him again. I kind of didn't want him to go yet.

"Like eleven or twelve, depending." He shrugged.

"Oh so early." I frowned a bit. I didn't expect him to leave too early. I kind of wanted to see him before he left.

"Yea why?" he asked me.

"Nothing just wanted to know." I frowned again and looked to the window.

"Why did you send me those pictures?" I knew he would ask me that sooner or later. "Wanted to show you what you were missing on." I winked at him and I knew I shouldn't lead him on like this, but I wanted him so badly.

"Why show if I can't taste or touch?" he licked his lips and it turned me on. I giggled.

"Who said you can't." I bit my bottom lip. We finally arrived at the hotel and we were in the lobby.

"Come upstairs." I said as we were at the elevator.

"Oh really you're going to let me taste?" he grew a smiled so wide and it made me giggle.

"Yea for tonight only." I grabbed his hand and we got into the elevator.

"What is it a special." He raised his eyebrow. I winked at him.

"Yea kind of." I smiled and we finally got to my floor and as soon as we got out of the elevator we started kissing. I missed his lips and I don't know why I ever pushed him away in the first place. As soon as we were in the apartment we hit the floor. I kicked the door closed. My arms were wrapped around his neck and his arms were wrapped around my waist. Our lips never separated. He started unbuttoning his shirt and then he went to unzip my dress. As soon as he got me out of the dress I went to unbuckle his pants and unbutton them. He smeared my lipstick all over my face and on his.

He went straight to my bra and unclasped them. He started kissing my stomach and went lower to my panties he looked up at me as he gripped them into his teeth and started to lower them down. That turned me on completely. He had me extremely wet at this point. He took his pants off and noticing the huge bulge he had turned me on completely and I bit down on my lip. He pulled his boxers off and took out a condom and put it on. As soon as he came back on his knees to the floor where I was at, he gripped my hip and pulled me closer to him.

As soon as he went in me I hissed it still hurt when he went in me. I felt like he ripped my hole, but then it started feeling really good as he was going nice and slow. I dug my nails into his back and he kissed my neck and that felt so good to me. He went in and out, every second was pleasure. I came on his dick for the first time and he was working on my second time. I was going to have multiple orgasms and I loved it. He grabbed my hair and started pulling on it and it felt good. I bit my lip as hard as he started increasing his pace. I wanted to scream out loud.

We were having sex on the floor and the back of my legs were rubbing on the carpet. It was starting to burn. He was going faster and I dug my nails into his back. By the time he came for the first time my legs were burning bad so I had the serious rug burn. But yet I still wanted some more.

"Let's go to my room." I suggested.

"Ok anything you want, you can have and I'm serious about that." He picked me up and took us to my room.

He pushed me on the bed and we started having sex again. He was going really ruff and I missed this aggressive aspect of him. I wanted more of him. The first time we had sex for an hour. The second time in my room it lasted two hours since he had a bit more stamina. He flipped me over so I was on my stomach and he lifted my ass so it was in the air and he went inside of me and I bit down on the pillow so I wouldn't scream. I knew by the end if the night I would be swollen and sore. It was like we were having sex like the world was going to end. We finally finished and it was the best sex. I really missed this from him and I don't think I could have sex with anyone else but him. He got real messy and he aimed all wrong I could feel that there was an abundance of cum all over my sheets.

"Damn." He said as he rubbed circles on my back. "Damn is right." I agreed with him.

"Now you can't tell anyone this happened ok Jake." I looked up at him.

"Why not I just fucked a model." He chuckled and he was being cocky Jake. I hit his chest, even though I know he was just joking. I had to make sure no one knew about this.

"Do you want to die? Don't do that to me." I frowned and he hugged me tighter.

"You know I won't do that." I knew he was telling the truth.

"You can't tell any of your boys either." It was his turn to look up at me.

"Why not they are like my best friends." He was joking again. "I guess I am afraid it might get back to Josue." I frowned because I realized this actually happened again and I still had a boyfriend.

"Fine I won't. I promise mama don't worry." He kissed my forehead and everything went right.

"Good." I smiled at him and kissed his chin.

"I am going to go take a shower ok mama." He started to get up.

"Oh really." I got up on my elbows to look at him.

"Yea you should join me so I won't be lonely." He winked at me and I knew that would be a definite round three.

"I'm tired you wore me out. Why aren't you tired?" I asked him. I was tired and he looked all energetic.

"I seriously don't know. This normally doesn't happen." He shrugged.

"Just come and lay down with me." I patted the side of the bed he had just left.

"It's…" he looked at the clock. "Seven in the morning, I don't really have time to sleep mama. I have to sleep on the plane." I know the next thing I was going to say was very self-centered of me.

"Why do you want to leave me?" I frowned.

"Because I have to go mama." He said it like he didn't want to be here anymore.

"Fine leave get out." I folded my arms and I was a little pissed.

"Let me take a shower." He said it as his eyes got wide from my response.

"No get out!" I half yelled.

"I am serious let me take a shower. I am all sweaty and gross." I couldn't say no to Jake.

"Go bathroom is right there. I am going to go with you, but I got to change the sheets first." I knew I couldn't fight with him. I was tired of fighting. I didn't know when I would see him again and we should just make this a good thing.

"Why?" he raised his eyebrow.

"Because their dirty now. You have cum all over. You don't know how to aim?" I giggled at the end.

"Now you know I got you a couple times on ya back and that one time it hit ya face." He chuckled back and I wanted to hit him for bringing that up.

"But I have to change the sheets." I frowned. I did change the sheets. He watched me from the corner of the room. He was probably staring at my ass.

"Ok let's take that shower." He smiled at me.

"Go start the water not to hot and not to cold." I said as I walked over to my dresser.

"Ok what are you going to do?" he raised his eyebrow.

"Play with myself." I joked. "No I am just going to take out some Pj's for me to wear because as soon as you leave I am going to sleep." He gripped my waist and he nipped my ear and that turned me on even more.

We ended up taking that shower and having another quickie in the shower. After we got out I kissed him and I kind of felt the way I did when I was younger. "Damn why are you kissing me like that?" he asked as he gripped my waist a little tighter.

"I don't know, I missed waking up next to you and kissing you. I miss that and it isn't with any other guy it's just you I miss." I answered honestly I really did miss Jacob and I am happy I have him in my life.

"You do have your little boyfriend Ness." He had to bring that up. I just wish he didn't have to. Like clockwork my phone rang. I answered.

"Hello." It was Carrie and it was early in the morning I wondered what she wanted.

"Ness what is this on the news? Turn your TV on." I did as she said and turned the TV on.

"Ok Carrie what channel?" I asked her.

"Channel 38." She said. I turned the TV to that channel. "It's on you and any kind of news is good."

_**(The News) "Supermodel Vanessa Swan was seen two weeks ago leaving a night club with young car mogul Jacob Black. She is pretty wild as the two went to the same hotel that night. She is pretty wild. What fame can do? She was also seen at a restaurant in mid town. He accompanied her back to the same hotel where we spotted them previously a week prior. Could it be that they are dating?" the reporter said.**_

That whole thing pissed me off. I turned the TV off and tossed the remote on the bed. The only thing on my mind was people know. I hung up the phone with Carrie.

"Oh my god, people know." I sighed and sat down on the bed.

"Wow news goes by so fast. You're just making me more famous thanks." He was trying to lighten things up, but it was horrible to me.

"Shut up! It's not good for me. Since I have a man who is not you." I put my head into my hands. I thought this was all bad

"Come on your man knows we are friends." He was right in that aspect.

"I know, but I feel something for you now." I sighed again and shook my head. I didn't know what to expect now.

"Damn the dick is that good." He chuckled cockily. I didn't like that about him.

"Hell yea and you know the pussy was good as well." I looked up at him and smiled.

"Yea well I have to go Mama."He rubbed my back.

"Ok Bye." I kissed him on the lips.

"Bye call me, text me, email me. Whatever till you get to me ok." He was so sweet and I knew he still cared.

"Ok bye." He kissed me and let it stick a little longer.

"Seriously, I have to go even though I don't want to." He kissed me again and I smiled against his lips. I walked him to the door and he finally left.

I had to admit I missed him already. I miss him. I just hope I don't ruin my career because of this, but I can't deny that the sex was really good. I fell asleep dreaming about Jacob and how much I missed him. I just hope things don't mess up and I get screwed over because of some of my choices.

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**I hope you like that Chapter, there is a lot more coming up in future Chapters that are going to be very interesting. Well now tell me how I did. The more Reviews I get the faster I update and that is a Promise Honey's. ^-^**


	5. Ch4 I won’t tell

**A/N: Well here you go guys Chapter 4. Hope you like it. Well updates might take time. I am going to school in the summer so it might get real hectic for me. But I will finish this story ok Honeys.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight.  
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**Chapter 4: I won't tell. **

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**Nessie**

I really couldn't believe he was gone. He left and the only thing that was on my mind was I wanted him. I was awoken by my phone ringing I checked who it was and it was Josue, I sighed before I answered it.

"Hello." I was still half asleep.

"Hello mon amour did I wake you up?" he sounded like he was concerned that he did wake me up.

"Yea." I answered honestly.

"I am downstairs now." I looked at the time and the hamper which was up to the top with the dirty sheets from the previous night. The memories from the previous night made my heart flutter. I was still in love with Jacob Black.

"Come upstairs I'll open the door." I got up from my bed and ran to the Bathroom and brushed my teeth and made sure my hair didn't look too messy. He finally did come up stairs and he knocked on the door. I opened the door.

"Hey honey." I was leaning in to kiss him but he stopped me.

"I saw the news." My jaw dropped and I was ready to say something in my defense for it.

"You did?" I said like I wasn't interested and it didn't mean anything when Jacob meant the world to me.

"Yes, is it true? I don't want to lose you." His eyes looked pleading and that made me feel horrible. Jacob and I haven't talked about what we have and I kind of wanted to forget it.

"No me and him are just friends. I knew him since I lived in Washington with my mom. He is a good friend, we just lost contact with each other." That was semi- true. I didn't want to lie to him when he has been nothing but kind to me. I didn't want him to be another victim.

"Oh so you're really close." He said.

"Yea I knew him since I was sixteen." Again I was telling him the truth. "Why would you believe the news anyway?" I looked at him like he didn't trust me. I felt like he didn't and I wasn't sure what kind of trust we had in this relationship to begin with.

"I don't know I got a bit jealous when I saw you two last night." That caught me a little I didn't figure Josue to be the jealous type.

"Why?"

"Just the way you act with him. You act like the two of you are in a relationship. You have to remember I am your boyfriend not him." He looked at me a little hurt for his assumption. He was semi correct but not quite there. I sighed I didn't get a chance to respond because my phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered willingly.

"Ness?" it was a female's voice very familiar.

"Yes who is this?" I asked.

"It's Leah; you should really save my number to your phone Ness." She sounded a little annoyed.

"I know sorry Lee." I felt bad.

"We watched the news today; it says you're supposedly dating Jacob." By the tone in her voice I knew she wanted it to be true.

"Now Lee you know that isn't true. After what happened I stopped talking to him, but now that we saw each other again we started talking." It was the complete truth minus some explicit details.

"Oh I know, but I do remember he was your boo." She giggled and that was so Leah.

"That was a long time ago." I laughed as well. I knew me and Jake had the history.

"Yea five years ago, the same as Jonathan and Jayden are." She was trying to be funny.

"How are they?" I was curious to know. I am like an aunt to them and all. I love them as well, which reminds me I have to get them a little something as a gift for their birthday.

"Asking about you, when you coming to Forks." She laughed and she was trying to make it seem like I haven't been to Forks in three thousand years which was technically true I hadn't been to Forks in five years. I had a lot of things to welcome if I did go. I didn't have anything holding me back anymore I should just get it over with and go.

"Next week I promise, I already bought the ticket." It was the complete truth this time. I was actually looking forward to going to Forks. Not to mention I wanted to buy a house out there.

"Oh ok you better Ness, I miss you. We used to be so close and now we really haven't talked much." I felt bad Leah and I have went through things. The time I spent in Forks she was my Best friend more so then Rachel who is also a good friend of mine.

"How's my mom?" I wondered how my mother was and I didn't want to call her directly.

"She's good; the baby is good as well." That was the only thing I needed to know. The ideas of my mother having her second child kind of made my stomach flop. I always wanted a little brother or sister when I thought I was an only child. Now I have Brandon and the new addition.

"That is good."

"We all miss you Nessie." She whined in the phone and I giggled she was silly.

"Really?" I said as my ego was getting to me. I loved that people missed me, because I missed all of them.

"Yea."

"I'll see you next week ok."

"Ok bye."

"Bye."

We hung up.

The previous week I had spoke with my Grandma Esme, I was planning on buying a house in Washington. She had sent me a couple pictures of a house she said she fell in love with for me. I trusted my grandmother's judgment and by the pictures I saw the house looked amazing. I was only going to Forks to sign the papers and the house was mine.

The week in where I was leaving to Washington finally came. I was nervous yet annoyed to go. One thing that would make me nervous is my parents meeting the man who is my boyfriend. There was no doubt in my mind that my father would love him. Two the annoyed part is I might not get to see Jake and it was because Josue was there. Don't get me wrong I care for Josue he could offer me an amazing future and I could tell he cared a lot for me. Jacob on the other hand was a part of my past that I was trying to hold on to.

I had too much history with Jacob just to let him go like that. He would've been the father of my child, even though my son didn't get to live. I know Jacob would've been an amazing father. The thought of having another child with Jacob kind of got to me.

So here I am on the airplane acting like I am sleeping. Josue had his arm wrapped around me. He was reading a newspaper that was in French. I was trying to prioritize my life.

When the plane landed and my father and Justin were coming to get us at the airport. As soon as we got out of baggage claim there was my father and my best friend.

"Hello father." I gave Edward a half smile.

"Ren! Look at my little girl she is all grown up." My dad was looking at me having one of his senior moments.

"I know. Justin!" I screamed Justin's name because I missed him.

"Ness wow look at you." He looked shocked at the new different me. I guess seeing someone in pictures is different than seeing them in person.

"Oh how rude of me. Father, Justin this is my boyfriend Josue." I presented them to him. Josue extended his hand to shake hands with my father.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Cullen." Josue held himself with this confidence.

"Firm grip." My father smiled and I rolled my eyes. "Let's go to the house I don't like to be away from your mother for too long."

"Wow…" was the only thing I could get out of my lips.

We got to the house. When we pulled up I got back all my adolescent memories back. I had so much fun in that house with Jacob. I kind of missed those simpler times.

We went inside the house and my first thing to ask was where Leah was? She was more of my best friend then my best friend was. She always checks up on me and I miss her. She is my best friend's wife.

"Where's Leah?" I looked at Justin and he smiled.

"Guess I have to compete with my best friend for my wife." He chuckled and I missed his corniness. "Nah she took the kids to see Emily and her kids. I told her you were coming around this time so she should be here soon. The kids been asking for you 'where my TT Nessie is?' They ask more for you then they do for Samantha who is their biological Aunt." He chuckled. We got out of the car and into the house.

When we walked into the house my mom came out of nowhere and hugged me. I guess she missed me that much.

"My baby!" she shrieked. I think my cheeks flamed so bad. She just embarrassed me in front of my boyfriend.

"Hey ma." I was still blushing. "I didn't know it was possible for you two to get together and even have a child." I looked at my father then my mother.

"It is." She looked at my father endearingly and it made me sick. "Jacob tells me you spoke when he was in New York." She had a smile on her face.

"Yea we hung out."I answered honestly.

"Oh." She sounded a bit surprised. I am guessing by the previous history I had with Jake it was surprising we would even talk again. I wondered where he was, If he was even home.

"Where is he?" I asked my mom. Everyone else was kind of just there.

"He took some time off so he is at his house." She raised her eyebrow and looked at Josue. "You're rude, who is the young man?" she tapped her foot.

"Mom this is Josue my boyfriend." I grabbed his hand and smiled at him.

"Hello." My mom checked him out. I found that a bit weird.

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Cullen. I see where Renesmee get's her good looks from" Josue greeted politely. My mom blushed at the good looks part.

We all walked into the living room and sat down. The living looked different. It looked smaller.

"Thank you. So what do you do Josue?" I could tell my mom was starting to love Josue already. Everyone loves him.

"I am a photographer, but I am a partner and own many businesses in the United States and Europe." He said humbly my father had a huge smile on his face. "On one job I am kind of your daughter's boss." He said in that same tone.

"Ren's boss." My mom said with an agape expression.

"Yes." He smiled.

"So Ren you got yourself a business man." My dad had this look on his face like he loved the idea of Josue. Jake was a business man too, but dad doesn't like him.

"Yea." I rolled my eyes at my father's sentence.

"I like him." My father's eyes sparkled and he was happy. I had a feeling my dad was going to get along with Josue more then I bargained for.

"Thank you." Josue seemed appeased from the idea of my father's approval.

"So where are you from?" My father asked him.

"I am from France. I have a permanent residence in Paris." He squeezed my hand to show his comfort and approval of my parents.

"Oh really?" My father looked excited by this. They continued to small talk about small details. Justin looked bored and I was on the same boat as him.

Shortly after the doorbell rang and I imagined it was Leah. Leah came in with the two kids.

"Nessie you're here!" she shrieked and ran and gave me a hug. I hugged her back.

"Yea just got here."I smiled at her, she smiled back.

"I missed you." She said as she was still holding my shoulders.

"TT!" I heard two little boys scream and run to hug one of my legs. I laughed because they were so cute.

"Hey honey's." I smiled at each of them.

"We missed you!" they both screamed in unison.

"You two are too cute." I rubbed the top of their heads and smiled at them.

"TT you know what's coming up right?" Jonathan looked up at me.

I was going to act like I didn't know what he was talking about. Plus it's funny to mess with them.

"No what?" I smiled.

"Our birth date."Jayden said. Jayden has spiky black hair like Justin, his light brown eyes as well. Jonathan has thick curly black hair, with Leah's dark brown eyes. They both have Leah's bronzed skin. They both are too cute.

"It's birthday Jayden." Jonathan corrected him.

"I know your turning five." I said as I got down to eye level with the two.

"Yea TT." Jonathan said.

"What do you guys want for your birthday?" I asked them.

"I want a black hummer." Jonathan said.

"I want a red Aston martin." Jared said.

"Ok." Of course I was going to get them the kid version of those cars.

"What!" Justin spurted out. "You don't have to get them that. You can just buy them a pack of hot wheels." Justin argued or tried to negotiate.

"Daddy!" both boys whined.

"It's only one time they turn five Justin." I smiled.

"Don't get those brats nothing." My father crossed his arms. Over the years my father was like a grandfather to Justin's kids since they really didn't have a grandfather. One Justin's father isn't in the picture, two Leah's father died from a stroke when she was younger that much I know.

So since then my Father, Grandpa Charlie and Billy have been paternal figures in Justin and Leah's lives. Also the twin lives since they were born. Of course I have been there without being there. I loved them both.

"Grandpa that's mean." Jayden whined.

"No you two are spoiled brats." My father crossed his arms.

"Awe but I love them." I said as I kissed Jayden on the forehead and hugged Jonathan.

"I have nothing to say." My father crossed his arm.

"Why don't Josue and I take you guys out to dinner." I said cheerfully.

"Ren you don't have to. Leah and I are more than capable of cooking dinner." My mom took defense. She was right though, but this is something I wanted to do.

"Come on Mom we want to." I said as I looked over at Josue.

"I don't want you spending your money like that." She scolded me lightly.

I knew exactly what I wanted in life well I thought I did. I knew I wasn't going to let a material thing like money be a main problem. We should live life to the fullest right.

"Mom why have money if you can't spend it. You only live once; after you die money doesn't go with you. It's just a material item." It was the only thing on my mind. It was all processed quickly.

She looked at me endearingly. "I have such a good and smart daughter, but still save your money so you have something to fall back on when you retire. When you want to settle down and get married. When you want to have children, children are a lot of money trust me." I knew my mom was looking out for me. I cherished her for it.

"I know mom." I smiled at her.

We went to this restaurant in Port Angeles. It was nice small. Locally owned so like a mom and pop place. It was nice. As soon as we did walk in there was the face I didn't want to see just yet. It was quite ironic that I couldn't wait to see him and now I am looking right at him.

"Oh look Jacob is here with Billy, Rachel, Paul and the kids." Mom smiled and went to the table next to them which was empty.

"Oh Bella, nice to see you and the whole family." Rachel greeted my mom. She hadn't changed much over the years. Her gaze went too completely on me. She smiled and got up from her chair. I noticed she had a serious baby bump. She was on her fourth kid already? She and Paul must be fucking like rabbits.

I met her half way and hugged her. "Wow Rach you look good." I smiled at her.

"I am pregnant. You look amazing Nessie, because the last time I saw you, you were pregnant." She smiled back at me.

"Wait you were pregnant?" Josue looked at me with a shocked expression on his face. I didn't want to hit this topic with him just yet. I knew if I did it would bring some memories from my depression and I didn't want to feel that way right now.

"Yes I made some mistakes when I was younger. But I could never regret them because it happened." I said trying to keep my composure. I knew that if I hit the nail any harder I would start crying.

"But yet you have a body like that. What happen to the baby?" I seriously didn't want to answer, but they're shouldn't be secrets.

"He died and there was nothing we could rely do." I knew I was going to hit a nerve because the water works came unprovoked. The tear spilt freely and I felt the hole in my chest that was starting to heal start to ache.

"I'm so sorry Renesmee." Josue tried to soothe me, but it didn't work.

"Nessie are you ok?" Jacob asked and he was the one who could actually get me to calm down a bit.

"Yea I am fine, just it still get's to me sometimes." I answered honestly.

"Oh I am so sorry mon amour." Josue tried to console me and it still didn't work.

"We can't do anything it happened." I held my chest were the ache still was.

"It's ok I miss him too." Jacob got out of his seat and came over to me to console me. I had to admit I liked that. Jacob was still very sweet.

"I know." It came out like a whisper. Josue had a puzzled look on his face.

"Ok why would you be upset about it?" Josue questioned Jacob and I knew our past would be exposed at the moment.

"Because he was mines." Jacob looked directly at Josue when he said it. I knew this was going to trigger something and I wasn't so sure as to what.

"What? Renesmee you had something with him?" Josue had a defensive stance as if he didn't like the idea of me and Jake having a past together.

"We actually used to date, but that was a long time ago. We are just friends now, it's nothing." I lied, but it was half truth.

"Are you sure mon amour?" Josue was waiting for a response. I nodded my head.

"Yea I am with you. Can't nobody change what I feel for you Josue." I caressed his cheek and he smiled. I knew Jake was probably grinding his teeth right now from that statement alone.

"Ok I believe you mon amour. I can trust that you two are just friends." He smiled again.

"He and I are always going to have that in common. Can't anybody forget our son. I have to bring him flowers now that I think of it." I lifted my eyebrow. I wanted to go now. I had completely lost my appetite.

"We can go now, I'll go with you." Jacob offered. I knew I was going to take his offer is only right to do so. "Don't worry about your family, they can order anything they want and I'll pay for it."Jacob was being nice, but he always has a weak spot when it comes down to me. It still shocked me though.

"Really you would do that?" I was still amazed by the amazing man I let go all those years ago. He was really an amazing guy.

"Yea. You want to go now to the cemetery?" he asked calmly. All I wanted to do was go.

"Yea I want to go right now." I was still half out of my surroundings. I think I forgot that they were other people there. I think it has a lot to do with Jacob and when I see him, he is the only thing that has 100 percent of my attention.

"Ok we can go now, here that's for the food." He pulled three one hundred dollar bills out of his wallet. "Let's go my car is right outside." Jacob was already heading for the door.

"Call my phone for anything." I said it for everyone else.

"Renesmee I'll go with you." Josue said supportively.

I knew I didn't want to say a blunt out no he couldn't go, but this was something me and Jacob should do alone.

"No I think Jacob and I should go since he was ours ok sorry." I tried to say it slow. I gave him an apologetic look and Josue's face fell slightly, but I could tell he was trying to keep composure.

"Ok I'll stay with your family. I understand, just call me I'll be here for you." I had to admit that was really sweet of him.

"That's so sweet." I was still a sucker for his charm.

"I know." He smiled. I kissed him before I left. Jacob and I walked out to his car which was a white range rover.

"Nice car." I managed to say. I admired the white range.

"Yea I know. So you want to go buy the flowers?" I wanted to pop him for that.

"No duh." I said it with a small tint of acid and that wasn't very nice.

"I like how you picked me over your man." He snickered. I rolled my eyes at him. He seriously thought I chose him over my boyfriend. He was wrong I chose our son over anything.

We both got in the car as he unlocked it. I was going to be brutally honest with Jacob and I knew I might hurt his ego a bit.

"I didn't I chose our son." It was an honest response.

"Then why didn't you tell him to come." He said as he began to pull out of the parking space.

"Nobody else should go right now. He was our son nobody else's." I crossed my arms after I put my seat belt on.

"I know, but I thought you wanted to be with just with me. You still feel shit for me." he was being blunt and it was the truth.

"Well I do, because of what happened last week between us. It brought back a lot of unnecessary feelings." I started fidgeting now.

"What do you mean unnecessary? It's fine to want to be with me. Come on look at me." he was back to being cocky Jake and I didn't very much like it.

I giggled at his cockiness. "Still conceited, don't let fame get to your head." I looked over at him with a smile.

"And you haven't." he looked at me from the corner of his eye as he continued to drive.

"No I haven't let it go to my head. I am still the same person I was. I am just older more mature." I said with a lot of confidence.

"Yea bullshit!" he coughed out and I hit his bicep playfully.

"Just take me to go buy my son flowers." I changed the topic.

"Our son." He corrected me as he turned to look at me once more.

"Keep your eyes on the road and not on me." I scolded him.

I had to admit I kind of liked this.

"Alright, but you're a distraction." I didn't really understand what he meant by I was a distraction.

"How?" I looked at him directly.

"Look at you. You are too sexy mama." He licked his lips.

"Thank you, I know." I know I sounded cocky, but that was the reason for it. I love his reactions toward it.

"And I am conceited." He looked at me from the corner of his eye again.

"Yea you are fucker." I said as I crossed my arms again.

"I know I am." He said it full of confidence and I giggled at his arrogance.

"Finally you admit it." I said playfully.

"Have to keep your ass happy right." He said as he pulled into a different lane.

"Yea you do." I added.

"Because I love to fuck and to fuck that body you have girl." He was being a pervert. I rolled my eyes.

"Really that's all you want me for?" I asked. I think I really did want the answer to that.

"No, but it's one main reason."

"Oh that's how you feel?" I said a little blunt. He ignored me.

"Look we can get flowers here." He pulled into the parking lot of a small flower shop.

"Ok you coming with me?" I asked him. I wanted him to come with me. I loved to have his presence around me.

"Yea I am going to park the car."

He went and parked the car close to the entrance of the flower shop. The shop was a shade of a pastel yellow and was tiny in size. It has a clear door and on the window was painted fresh flowers. We walked into the shop and it screamed family owned. An older woman was at the register trimming a beautiful set of mixed roses.

She had grey hair but it was more of a salt and pepper affect. She was beautiful and you can tell she aged gracefully. She had on yellow overalls that made her green eyes pop.

"What kind of flowers you want to get?" Jake asked me. I looked at the mixed roses she had in her hands and they looked beautiful and perfect to me. I wanted those.

"Those." I pointed at the flowers in the florist's hand.

"Ok no problem." He said as he walked over to the florist. "Can I have those mixed roses?" he asked in his charming voice that warmed me up. The florist looked at me and smiled.

"Sure. Your wife is very beautiful." She said calmly. I blushed at the thought of being Jacob's wife. I am tripping because she thought I was Jacob's wife. Jake looked over at me as the florist started packing up the dozen.

"I know." He looked at me endearing. I never paid much attention that he looked at me like that.

"Here you go. That will be ten dollars sweet heart." Jake handed her the ten dollars. "Hope you have a blessed day." She said as Jake grabbed the flowers and we started walking out of the shop.

We got in the car and he drove to the cemetery. The drive was short but quiet. I was still grieving a little over this. It wasn't something strong, but it still hurt a little.

"Just to think he would've been turning five." I looked at the small tombstone. I wanted to at least be able to remember him.

"Yea I know, do you think we would've been together?" he asked and it caught me off guard a little.

"To tell you the truth, I don't know." I really didn't know if we would have still been together if our son.

"I think we would because of him." I placed the flowers down and looked at the name.

We named him Angelo Brandon Black, Angelo for Justin's middle name and Brandon for my brother. It took me awhile just to give our son a name. I personally liked the name I chose for him.

"You think so." I looked up at Jake.

"I know so." He smiled back at me.

We stood there quiet for a couple minutes to pay our respects. I was thinking what could've been. I know I shouldn't have done that because it would hurt me later. After the moment of silence I was ready to go.

"Ok let's go." I looked over at him.

"Wait." He said calmly. I looked at him strangely. Why would he tell me to wait?

"What?" I didn't have to finish my sentence because his lips were on mine before I could finish. I didn't stop him or anything. "Ok and that." I said once he pulled away.

"For him." he said calmly. I took it as it were for our son.

"What time is it?" I asked him as we started walking back to the car.

He looked at his watch. "It's six, oh shit." He scolded himself and I wondered what he was wrong.

"What happen?" I asked him.

"I told my girl I was going to pick her up at five." He sighed. I wanted to laugh. That bitch didn't deserve him.

"But yet you're kissing me and telling me you love me. You're full of shit." I laughed. Of course I was joking.

"No like I told you you're my first love. I just use these bitches to fuck. I can't fall in love even if I try and what I tell you is the truth. Alright better believe that ok."

"What do you mean? You have a girl, but yet you want to mess with me?" I was a little confused. I didn't know where his intentions were.

"Now you're a hypocrite." He called me out. We both got inside the car and he put the key in the ignition.

"How?" I wanted to know why he called me out.

"Because you're messing with me and you have a man." He said it a bit coldly.

"You were after me first. Ok you were looking for me." I giggled. It was the truth though, when he was in New York.

"Yea right last week you told me you wanted big daddy." He said as he started to drive off.

I ignored him and took my phone out to see if I had any text messages. Which I did it was a bunch of updates from work. I really didn't want to deal with work I was on vacation. Jacob was still driving and we went on the highway.

"I have to go somewhere real quick then I'll take you home." He said. I can tell he was a little uncomfortable and I found that a little odd. I nodded my head yea.

He started driving a little faster. He pulled up to a small little white town house.

"Wait right here ok." He said as he took his seat belt off. I wondered what he was going to do there.

"Where you going?" I wanted an answer.

"Just wait alright." I didn't like his attitude much. I crossed my arms and rolled my eyes.

"Ugh fine hurry up." I scoffed.

"I'll be back five minutes alright." He got out the car and walked up the small path to the house.

He got to the door of the house and rang the doorbell. Some girl opened the door and kissed him. I got so pissed seeing her kiss him. She then looked towards the car and she seen me. I started smiling. I guess she got mad because she and Jake started arguing. Well mostly her yelling. I couldn't help, but start laughing. It was too funny. That's what he get's.

**Jacob**

I walked up to Vanessa's door. I know I shouldn't have gone knowing Nessie was in my car. I wanted to apologize personally so she wouldn't bitch later. I already know how Vanessa is. I rang her doorbell and she opened the door and kissed me immediately.

"Hey baby!"She said cheerfully. Before I could say anything else she looked at the car and saw Nessie. I swear that wasn't a good thing. "What the Fuck Jake!" she yelled.

"Let me explain." I said calmly.

"What are you fucking that slut?" she wasn't calming down and I didn't like that she called Nessie slut. "I saw the fucking news, I am not fucking stupid Jake. Are you cheating on me?" she put her hand on her hip.

"No she is just my friend. You know what I have to go, I'll talk to you later." That shit just pissed me off. I walked back to the car and slammed the door.

"Are you alright?" Nessie asked me. I knew she sensed my new mood.

"No my girl, she just pissed me off." I ran my hand down my face.

"What happen?" she asked me. I know I can talk to Nessie.

"She thinks I'm cheating on her, because she seen me with you. She also saw that shit on TV about supposedly us dating and shit. She always thinks I am cheating on her. That shit pisses me off." I know I just rambled on, but Vanessa seriously pisses me off sometimes.

"Maybe because you have cheated on her." Nessie said turning to face me completely.

"I know, but you don't know the stress she has put me through." I said as I started driving to take Nessie to Bella's house.

"Oh really?"

"Yea she can be very suffocating." I said as I sighed.

I pulled up to her house and she got out. I had to admit I missed her a bit. I just wanted her. I was having second opinions about Vanessa now.

* * *

**Ok so now feed my ego and tell me how I did. I am not that excited about this chapter, but I do like it. Well leave me a review! ^-^**


	6. Ch5 Sex Machine

**A/N: Sorry for the wait guys, I have had a couple things to deal with for school. I have finals and it sucks. Thank god this is the last week of school for me then I get a week off and back in school, that part sucks. Anyway I realized that I said the story was about mid-august that was a mistake it's about mid- april. because the twins were born in spring not summer hope I cleared that. So i'll try for an update next monday or tuesday. If not it might be earlier depending on my motivation(That's were you guys come in) well enjoy!**

**Warning: Lemon (I rather just tell ya before hand)**

**Disclaimer: SM owns twilight (OMG Eclipse is really coming out next month, time passes by sooo quick) **

**Well again Enjoy!  
**

**

* * *

Take this pillow right here (grab this)  
And I know you're so excited if you bite it they won't hear  
And you know just what we capable of, when we makin' love  
So the music gone be loud, you gone scream and shout  
Girl your body's a problem, they call me the problem solver  
Let phone sit on the charger, it could ring all night  
They can call, they can knock, and be upset, but I bet  
****Neighbors know my name- Trey songz**

**Chapter 5: Sex Machine.

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**

He had just left me at my house and I wasn't so sure I wanted him to leave just yet. When I went inside my house my mother was in the kitchen washing dishes. Justin was still here with the kids playing video games; by the looks of it they were playing a fighting game on the new Xbox. I went to the kitchen to speak with my mother.

"Hey ma." I said as I went into the fridge to pull out bottled water.

"Hey sweet heart." She smiled at me and went back to washing dishes.

"Where's dad?" I asked her. She just continued to scrub a plate.

"I think he went to take a nap he said he had a headache." Mom made it sound like it was nothing. I knew differently. My father was upset because I went with my Ex boyfriend that he hates. He has to realize I am not a child anymore. I am old enough to make my own decisions.

"Oh, where is Josue." I asked I realized that should have been the first thing I should have asked, but I didn't.

"He went to Seattle, he called you." She furrowed her eyebrows together. I took a look at my phone and seen she was right I had missed calls from him, as well as text messages.

"Oh wow, I really didn't hear the phone ring." I seriously didn't and I wondered if maybe something was wrong with my phone. I took a look and noticed that the ringer was off. I didn't remember ever lowering it down.

About two hours went by and it was around eight-thirty in the night. I was watching Justin play with the kids. Justin was a pretty good father. I always knew he would be. My phone rang, I took a look at who it was and it was the one and only Jacob Black. I picked up.

"Hello." I tried not to sound too excited.

"Is your boyfriend there?" he asked me.

"No, he went to Seattle. Why?" I asked. I wondered what it mattered.

"No reason, come outside." I then realized that was it. He was outside of my house. I went to the window and peered out. His white range rover was outside.

"Ok I am coming now." I hung up the phone and went outside. He was leaning against his car with his arms crossed.

"So many memories by just coming over here." He smiled and I agreed. We had too many memories in this house to even count.

"Yea good memories, you want to come inside?" I asked him. He nodded his head and we walked inside. Justin was still playing the game.

"Yo what's up Jake?" Justin nodded at him as he finally peeled his eyes off the TV.

"What's up?" he sat down on the couch. "Let me play." Jacob said.

"Alright, Jonathan give Jake the remote you losing already." Justin nudged his sons shoulder.

"Let the kid play, you two are some grown men. The children should be playing not you two." I scolded them both.

"Puhleese Nessie." Justin rolled his eyes.

"Don't worry guys this will be over quick, your dad can never win a game against me." Jake boasted.

"Oh you feel that way." Justin added sarcastically.

"Hell yea." Jacob Boasted again and I had to see this.

"Stick to your company pretty boy." Justin muttered.

"I want to play." I said confidently. I actually wanted to play.

"TT you're too much of a pretty girl to play." Jayden said as he was watching his father and Jake still bicker.

"Honey just because I am doesn't mean I can't play with the boys." I felt a little offended.

They thought because I was a girl I couldn't play video games. I crossed my arms and huffed a little.

"Ok daddy let TT play." Jonathan came to my defense and I pinched his little cheek. It caused him to fidget.

"No me and Jake aren't done here." Justin said as he tapped buttons on the remote control.

"Dude it's over." Jake did a last combo move.

"Oh hell no! how you do that?" Justin complained.

Jake screamed. "Yo it's over I won K.O." he jumped out of his seat.

"Yo rematch, rematch you cheated." Justin whined. I was getting impatient.

"I want to play." I said as I started tapping my foot.

"Yo Justin you hear this?" Jake knocked his shoulder against Justin's.

"Yea I heard it." Justin had a smug smile on.

"Come on. Don't tell me you're afraid of a little healthy competition?"

"Me afraid of you? Puhleese." He rolled his eyes. I knew I could make this interesting.

"How bout we make this interesting. A hundred dollars on who wins." I was trying to sound confident which I was.

"Yo Justin that's easy money right there. This is going to take five seconds." He had a smug smile on his face.

I was about to take it off his face. We started playing the game and he was winning. My bar was about half way in while his was still full. I took my hands and pushed his away from the controller.

"Yo Ness you're cheating." Jake yelled. He knew he was going to lose.

Next thing that happen I won, I got up from the couch and did a little victory dance. "Now pay up pretty boy." I taunted.

"No you cheated rematch." He was being a sore loser, even though I did technically cheat.

"Nope pay up." I held my hand out to him. He pulled me by the waist and it felt like he was going to kiss me.

"Ey kids why don't you go see what Bella is doing!" Justin hollered at the twins. The twins walked out of the living room.

I had no clue what Justin caught on to, but I hope he didn't catch on to what was going on between me and Jacob. Justin is very perceptive so I know he has an idea as to what is going on.

"What's going on between you two? There is something going on here. It radiates off of ya'll. The two of you should just marry each other." He crossed his arms across his chest.

"Now why would you say that?" Jacob retorted. I knew it was supposed to be a secret, but Justin is my best friend he knows me better than anyone else.

"Yea Justin." I hesitated a bit on the question Jacob had just said. Justin is smooth when it comes to answering. I know he will say the truth of what he sees.

"Because the two of you have been frontin' on each other for years, I am not stupid." He looked at me and Jake back and forth.

"Jake – and – I – are – just – friends." I said it slow and enunciated each word.

"Remember Nessie you have a man, and Jake you have a girl." Justin reminded me so I'll felt even worse than I did.

"And." Jacob said carelessly.

I laughed. I never thought he would think like that. He obviously still cares about me or I think he does.

"I am happy with Josue, Jacob my money." I know I lied about being happy. It was semi-true anyway. I liked how I felt when I was with Josue just I wasn't fully satisfied with him.

"Rematch, but I pick the game." I wasn't one to turn down a challenge. So what did I do? I agreed.

"Alright I choose." I said swiftly.

"Nope I already said I will choose. You win I give you all my share of the income of the video you did for Me." he was actually being serious.

I thought about it, why I would really want that. I mean it was some kind of extra money. I didn't want to take any kind of income from him. That just made me feel like a whore. One, we did have sex and it will be like he is paying me for it.

"Now why would I want that? So what if you win?" I asked as I crossed my arms. I sat on the couch as well. Well maybe I plopped down more. He tapped his chin with his finger and I knew he was scheming.

"Well remember last week when we were in NY?" he asked me and he had a huge smile on his face.

"Yea." I said it slowly. I had an idea he wanted to have sex with me if he won. It was so Jacob. I rolled my eyes at the thought.

"I want to do that." He smiled even wider now. I slouched deeper into the couch at the idea. Don't get me wrong he is amazing when it comes to that. I just don't want that to be the only reason he wants me.

"Wait what did you guys do?" Justin asked genuinely intrigued. I really didn't want to tell him me and Jake was having sex again. I did say I wanted it to be secret.

"Nah we had a very good time the last time we hung out." He winked at me and I blushed.

"Oh." It seemed like Justin believed Jacob's word. I know if I would've said it he would say I am full of shit.

"And no" I looked directly at Jacob Black when I said it. I didn't like any of the two results of the bet.

"Come on are we going to do this?" Jacob asked.

"Fine, what are you going to pick?" I asked him. I was getting a little irritable.

"Hmm a drinking contest." He smiled contently. I knew he would do anything just to get me drunk. I didn't like the idea of getting drunk, but I remember when we were younger he couldn't handle his liquor. So maybe this will be easy.

"What! No let me pick then." I know what alcohol can do and what can happen. We don't want a repeat of the club again.

"Nope the deal was I pick."

"Ok whatever, but I don't drink a lot anymore." I answered honestly.

"Word you can't do that then." Justin had my back still.

"Now come on don't tell me you're scared of a little alcohol. I thought you were grown." Jacob taunted me. He knew how to get to me; with me being taunted I knew he had me. I love a challenge.

"No I am not so when?" I asked. I was pumped now and I would take anything.

"Right now, Justin you are going to judge. We doing this at my house, where I have everything." He sounded cocky then.

"Yo Jacob you live like an hour away." Justin pointed out.

"I know I'll bring ya back home."

"Ok I have no problem." I nodded.

"Alright fine let's go." Justin finally agreed. We all got up from the couch and went to the hall. My mom walked over to the hall as she poked her head from the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" my mother asked. We all turned to look at her.

"We are going to get something from Jacob's house and then we'll be back." Justin answered for all of us.

"Ok I'll call Leah and tell her to come get the twins." She looked at us suspiciously and I knew she knew we were up to no good. My mom knows me. "Be safe." She directed more towards me. I don't know what she was thinking really.

We walked out to Jacob's car. "Shot gun!' I screamed as I ran towards the passenger side of the car.

"Fuck you Nessie!" Justin yelled at me. We we're having a childish moment and Justin is the only one who can bring that out of me. I never realized how much I missed my best friend.

"Damn you guys still act childish."Jacob said as he got into the car and unlocked the doors.

"Justin brings it out of me." I stuck my tongue out at Justin.

We got to Jacob's house and I was a bit shocked at where he lived now. His house was a light peach color and was huge. He didn't live in a house he had a fucking mansion. I knew Jacob did well for himself I just didn't think he would be doing that good for himself. I wasn't interested in him for his money and I'll be honest. I am too proud to think of that.

"This is where you live?" I admired his house. He put his arm around my shoulder.

"Yupp babe and it could be all yours if you want it to be." He whispered in my ear. I blushed at his attempt.

The only way that could even happen is if we were married. That was a good thought to have at the moment. Renesmee Carlie Black, I sighed at the thought. No way was that happening anytime soon. He did go out with that whore, and I was with Josue unfortunately.

We walked into the house and it seemed it was very solitary. All the lights were off and it seemed like it was hardly lived in. I guess Jake really doesn't spend his time at home. He turned on the lights of the foyer and he put his arm right back around my shoulder.

"Alright bar is down that way." Jacob announced.

"What kind of drinking contests? Who drinks the most or shots?" Justin asked, but he was a bartender in his own time.

"Shots." Jacob said and he looked directly at me. I knew what I was about to purpose was idiotic and not thought out well.

"No straight out the bottle." I placed my hand on my hip and rolled my tongue over my teeth.

I looked around the bar it was nice. It had a lot of different shades of blues and blacks. It looked really nicely organized. Jacob nodded his head and I sat down on one of the electric blue bar stools.

"So what you got?" I said as I slapped my hands down on the counter of the bar. Jacob laughed.

"Vodka, tequila, rum, whiskey." He announced proudly. He probably had a lot more.

"Vodka of course." I wiggled my eyebrow. I think for that one second I forgot Justin was in the room.

"Alright you ready Justin?" Jacob asked as he pulled out two absolut vodka bottles about 200ml. Not really a big bottle. But if you drink it straight you'll still get fucked up.

"Yea ok in one, two, three, Go." Justin called. Jake put the bottle to his lips and started chugging. I don't think it was fair since I hadn't started. When I was ¼ through the bottle he was already ½ I knew he was going to win. When I made it to half way through he was done and slammed the glass bottle on the counter.

"I'm the winner!" he yelled victoriously. My head spun a little and my throat burned from the vodka.

**

* * *

Jacob **

I had just won the damn drinking contest and I could feel the burn in my chest. The affects of the alcohol hadn't hit me yet but I was sure it was going to hit me pretty soon. I know it wasn't like we drank a lot, but drinking that much alcohol straight like a shot has some serious consequences and after affects.

"You're a cheater." I looked at Nessie who crossed her arms and pouted. I had to admit she looked real childish doing that, but there was nothing childish about her. She was a fucking woman and looking all appealing to me and it wasn't even the alcohol.

"No I won that's it." I know I sounded cocky, but she cheated before and this time I didn't cheat at all. That isn't my style at all.

"Ness you have to give it to Jacob he won." That was the first time Justin had my back. We were always cool though no lie. He is like one of my boys.

"But you don't know what I have to do now." Nessie pouted again. Is she serious she didn't want to have sex with me? I knew it was a lie because I can always have her screaming my name.

"Not like you two are going to have sex." Justin pointed out, but he hit the nail right on the head. We were going to have some fucking awesome drunk sex. I couldn't hold myself; I got the only stiff right there in then thinking about me having her bent over.

"No but still." She hesitated and I know she was going to be the cause as to why we got caught.

"Want to do this now?" I wiggled my eyebrow and bit my bottom lip at her. She smiled nervously and I knew I still had it.

"You see Justin standing right here." I knew she was going to complain, but I didn't care if Justin saw or not I just wanted her.

"Yea, but it's not like nothing he hasn't seen before." I couldn't believe those words left my mouth. Now I definitely knew the alcohol was talking now.

She scoffed. "No let's take him home first and then later." I knew I was going to get what I want I always do.

So what did we do we took Justin home. When we were outside of Justin's house in La Push, I knew I was in no condition to be driving at all.

"Why don't we just have sex right here." I knew I was starting to slur my words and I just started saying what came to mind.

"Are you listening to anything you are saying right now? You want to have sex in front of my best friend's house. You're crazy let me drive." She held her hand out asking for me to give her my keys. I wanted to refuse, but I knew I couldn't drive right now.

"You don't know how to get to my house." I don't know why I blurted that out. I was really fucked up. I could feel the alcohol taking full affect on my body.

"Let me drive, I am not drunk I'm buzzed but I am still aware of what I am doing." She sounded all goodie girl and that turned me on. I don't know why it's the weirdest shit that turns me on about her.

"Fine." I went to the passenger side.

As soon as we got to my house clothes went flying. I didn't know she wanted it as bad as I did. I grabbed her by the waist and put her over my shoulder and brought her to my room. I tried my best not to stumble up or down the stairs. I dropped her on my bed and ripped any other piece of fabric she had on her body. She just looked at me and her lips went back on mines.

She moaned in my mouth as her tongue licked on mines. I never can take it; I needed to be in her. Little Jake was awake and I needed to do something with him. Nessie did the one thing she always does that makes me hiss. She stuck her hand in the front of my boxers and gripped little Jake, like on call I hissed at that contact. She continued to kiss me as a bit on her bottom lip and pulled.

I have had sex with many women in my life, but I will admit not one can do me like Nessie can. She gripped the hem of my boxers and lowered them. She ran them gently down my legs and she was teasing the heck out of me.

She kissed my neck leaving open mouth kisses. I felt her tongue lick against my neck. She sucked on my neck gently at first and it sure as hell felt great. Her sucking became a little harder and I knew I'll gain a hickie later from that.

I gripped her waist and threw her on her back. She had this shocked look on her face. I knew I was being a little more aggressive than usual and she loved that shit. I gripped her thighs and pulled her closer to me. I grabbed her hands and placed them over head. I held them there with one hand. I kissed her neck and sucked down making sure I left a small mark.

I kissed down until I made it to the top of her breast. I licked lightly over the top of her nipple. She let out a pleasurable moan. I was satisfied with my technique so I went to her breast and sucked a little hard. I could tell with every touch she loved it. I finally positioned myself between her legs and pushed through some. She placed both her hands on either side of my shoulders.

I couldn't believe she got so tight in just a week. I pushed in deeper and she gripped my back with one hand and stuck her nails in. I pushed even deeper and she moaned loudly. I knew it started feeling good to her now. I picked up my pace and I looked at her face. She had her eyes closed and I started kissing on neck, chin, and lips. I wanted to kiss her all over.

She dug her nails deeper into me as I went faster. I felt her walls tighten around me. I seriously don't know why I let her go. I just want to be with her. I went faster into her and I hit against her g-spot and she started screaming, but not because I was hurting her but because I was making her climax.

Her body tensed up and I felt her squirt on me. Shit it was the best orgasm I have ever had. I don't understand how I went so long without this. I pulled out of her and lay down on my side. I kissed her and pulled her to my chest.

"What the fuck are you doing to me?" I said as I pulled her even closer to me.

She kissed me gently on my lips and I smiled. "I don't know, but I feel the same way." I kissed her cheek and she then placed her head on my chest.

She took her phone off my night stand. She might be pissed because I turned her phone off earlier. I didn't want her to make an excuse on having to leave or something. Plus her fucking man was urking my nerves with his continuous calling and shit. He needs to fall back and just let me and Nessie be.

"Jacob did you turn my phone off?" she looked at me and I would deny it.

"No." I answered simply.

She turned her phone on and as soon as she did it started buzzing like crazy, bet she had missed calls and texts from her man.

I grabbed my phone off the night stand and noticed it was off as well. I turned it on.

"Oh my Josue called me a lot." I rolled my eyes because her boyfriend cared, or he was just a possessive mother fucker. Still I didn't like it one bit.

"Did you turn my phone off missy?" as soon as the phone finished turning on I had a bunch of missed calls from Vanessa.

"Yes because I don't want that bitch calling you." I had to admit I loved Nessie being jealous. It just showed how much she cared for me, enough to be jealous of my current girlfriend. I still don't know why I got with her.

I didn't like that Nessie was calling her a bitch. I should say the same about her fucking man. He doesn't deserve her at all, that fucking pretty boy. I hate to see my Nessie with some other guy. It fucking kills me. But she sees the same shit with me and Vanessa. I had to defend Vanessa even though u didn't want to.

"Don't call her a bitch. That's my girlfriend." I hated to have to do it. I didn't want to choose a woman if it wasn't Renesmee.

"You know damn well she is a bitch, look what happen earlier today. Please you should have never taken me to her house in the first place." She pulled away from me fully and went all the way to the end of the bed. I hated her rejection.

I had to admit I loved to see Nessie's jealous side. Her face was all red and it was cute. I love to see her mad. Nessie is a bit hot headed. She gets that from her father for sure.

"No I am not!" She kind of yelled at me. Someone is definitely in denial. "I think you're the one that's jealous." She looked at me with a smile on her face. I knew she got some type of sick pleasure from me being jealous of her little boyfriend. I am not jealous of him, because I am better than him.

"Whoa who said I was jealous?"I crossed my arms across my chest.

"I can read it of you Jacob Black. You're so easy to read." She giggled and smiled. I wasn't jealous though. "Plus I am going to Seattle tomorrow." That was a slap to the chest. What the fuck was she going to do in Seattle?

"What the fuck for!" I wanted her to say anything but 'Go with my boyfriend' that would be a serious slap to the face.

"To go stay with Josue." She said it low. I knew she didn't want to go. She will never feel for him what she felt for me and it isn't even a comparison.

"You should just stay here with me." I pulled her into me and kissed her temple.

She pulled away from me. "What for you have your girlfriend, she might get jealous." She smirked.

"Relax with that. I just don't want you to go with him." I was being completely honest.

I hate the idea of Nessie being with frenchy. I don't like her kissing any other man but me. I know it isn't my position to be so possessive when she isn't even mine yet. I promise she will be soon.

"Don't say that. Look I don't want to argue with you I am just going to leave." She got up from the bed and I felt like I did something wrong.

"No don't leave." I rolled over to her side of the bed so I was laid on my stomach and looking up at her.

"No because we always have to argue, the only time we don't is when we are fucking." She fell to her knees so we were eye level.

"You're right."

"I know and I am tired of it Jake. I am going to take a shower and I am going to leave. Whenever you're in New York or I am here in Washington again, I'll look for you because I can't lie the sex is real good." I hated that she would just want me for sex. I know that's not the only thing I wanted from her.

"Yea it's good, but I don't want you just for a fuck. I feel it's unfair towards you and me. We both feel shit for each other." I let everything I felt out. Hopefully she realizes we are meant to be together and we should just stop the fronting.

"I don't want to leave Josue. I am scared it might affect my career." She gave me this nervous look and I can tell she had thought about it.

"Trust me; if you break up with him nothing is going to happen to your career I'll make sure of that. The two of you haven't had sex right?" I don't know why I asked that I guess I didn't want to know that they were having sex. I don't want any man touching her.

"No I haven't."

"Good because you can only fuck big daddy over here." I winked at her. It was definitely a joke.

She laughed. "Excuse me? What do you mean?" she was trying to act like she doesn't know.

"You can only fuck me." I said it full forced so she understood.

"Dude you're not the only guy I have had sex with. Who are you to tell me who I can fuck anyways." She gave me this look and I didn't like it. I hated not to have my way it's something that doesn't happen often with me at all. I always get what I want.

"I am just saying. It's hard for me to picture you with another guy." I had to be honest with her. I loved her a lot. I guess I am selfish and don't want to share her, but do you blame me.

"You should have said that." She giggled.

"Come here." She moved closer to my face and I kissed her fully on the lips and made sure it was full of passion. I wanted her to know what she meant to me without saying the words. "I love you." I said as I pulled away from her.

"You really feel that way?" she looked at me dumbfounded like she didn't believe a word that I said. Maybe she just had dreamed with me saying those words again that it was a little weird to hear.

"Yes I am serious." I kissed her again.

"I love you too." Those words made me happy. I loved her and I would do anything for her if she wanted me to. I don't know what I did for her to treat me bad sometimes. I would get married to her if that's what she wants. If she wanted me to get down on my knees and beg I would do that too just because I love her.

"I am going to leave now ok." I still didn't understand why she wanted to leave.

"No don't leave. Stay here tonight and I personally will take you to Seattle tomorrow." I offered even if I hated to do it.

"Really?" her eyes lit up. I knew I couldn't say no to her so I smiled at her.

"Yea so come back and lay down with me and sleep." I patted the empty side of the bed.

"Ok big daddy." She laughed so I knew she was teasing. "I can't believe you actually have girls call you that." She said as she got in the bed with me. I didn't really have girls call me that, but I liked the way it sounded coming out of her mouth.

"Nah, I just have you call me that." I fixed myself so I was on my side of the bed. She snuggled into my side and kissed my cheek.

"I am going to sleep now." I pulled the sheets over us and kissed her forehead contently.

We fell asleep in my bed and I must admit I sleep better with her then with any other girl I have slept with. I hugged her tight I didn't want to let her go afraid she might walk out of my life and I won't see her again. I didn't want that to happen because I don't think I could deal with that for a second time.

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**Now tell me how I did. Did you like it? I liked this chapter it was fun to write. It took me awhile to write just because of Freaking Finals. Oh I posted the other story in where Nessie has a baby with Jake I posted that like last week and since I didn't update this earlier I didn't advise ahead of time. Atleast I am saying so now. So if you want go check that out it's called trade it all. I should update that tomorrow. So now review and feed my ego lol I know self-centered much lol. Well I love ya! ^-^**


	7. Ch6 Blind fold me

**A/N: okay I am sorry for the delay, I have been sick and the weather has been messed up like one day it's hot next is cold plus it's spring so allergies. It sucked big time. I am the kind of person when their sick doesn't like to do anything. I have other reasons to, but at least there is an update so enjoy. I would like to say I am proud of this, but unfortunately i am not to happy about it. But Enjoy and Review that always makes me happy. **

**Disclaimer: SM owns the Twilight Series and Characters.**

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When he want it he blindfolds me  
Then I get sexy on him, get sexy on him, like.**

**Kelis- Blind fold me.**

**Chapter 6: Blind fold me

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**Nessie**

I had awoken in strong arms wrapped around me. I smiled to know the man that was next to me is the man I have loved for years. But I seriously needed to pee and he gripped tighter. I groaned and he stirred a little more. I started thinking fuck I have to spend the day with my boyfriend today.

"Jacob wake up." I shook him. He stirred a little more and I knew one thing for sure that would wake him up.

Since he had his arms wrapped around me and we were still nude. I moved my free hand and placed it between his legs and stroked him. Thank god for morning wood. It turned me on to touch him. I started kissing his neck and I knew he would wake up soon. As if on call his eyes fluttered open. He bit on his bottom lip and I knew he was turned on.

He removed his arm from around my waist and pinned me to the bed. He still bit his bottom lip and wiggled his eyebrows. "You're teasing me huh?" I smiled and nodded my head. He kissed my neck and I moaned in reaction. His hands made their way between my thighs and he found where his main goal was.

He rubbed against my clit lightly and he was teasing me because I wanted him to be a little more aggressive like last night. I bit down on his ear and pulled lightly and I knew it turned him on.

"Stop that." He said but it sounded like a command. I snapped my teeth at him close to his lips. I knew that turned me on.

"What if I don't want to?" I loved to tease him.

"I am going to have to blind fold you." He said it real slick. I had no idea what he meant by that but the idea was very exciting to me.

"You're going to what?" I asked. The idea turned me on even more.

"Wait right here." He got up from the bed and went to his closet. I pushed myself up on my elbows so I could see exactly what he was doing.

He walked inside of the closet so I couldn't see all much more. He came back out with a black silk blind fold in his hand. He walked back over to the bed and wrapped the blind fold around my eyes. The silk felt cool around my eyes. I wasn't the one to try new things but with Jacob I was all open to it.

"Do you trust me?"He asked as he said it against my lips. I nodded my head. "Good." He worked his fingers over my skin and left trails of heated sensation that made chills run through my spine.

He ran his fingers on my lips and I licked the tip of his finger. I wanted to be sexual and playful with him. He ran his lips over mines slowly. I was relying completely on touch and it was an amazing feeling.

He kissed down my neck and put the peak of my nipple in his mouth and flicked his tongue. It was exciting because I didn't know what to expect next. I knew what he wanted and I knew what I wanted, but I couldn't help but expect that what was coming next would be exciting and fulfilling.

We played the game of me being blindfolded for awhile longer. We ended up having sex that was a given. I knew what I was doing was definitely wrong, but I had no control over what I was truly feeling.

Jacob wanted to go back to sleep and I knew I couldn't do that. I also realized I had no clean clothes and I was supposed to see Josue in an hour and a half. There was no way of me getting my clothes home and going to Seattle which was over an hour to arrive.

"Jacob please I have to go." I shook him lightly.

"Relax you're going to get to see your little boyfriend." He sneered 'little boyfriend' I knew he hated Josue with a passion.

"Fuck!" I cussed when I realized I couldn't go see Josue wearing the same clothes from yesterday.

"What's wrong mama?" Jacob asked and I smiled at him.

"I didn't bring clothes and I can't go see him wearing the same clothes from yesterday." I sat down on the corner of the bed. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my temple.

"I am sure you fit in Vanessa's clothes. She has a couple things here and I know she has clothes with tickets on it still. I am sure you can wear something of hers." Jacob said. The idea of wearing that skanks clothes pissed me off, but I didn't have much options.

"You don't know on how many levels of wrong that would be." I looked over at his deep eyes.

"Trust me she won't even find out." He kissed me again.

"Seriously I couldn't even do that." I ran my hand down my face.

Wearing his girlfriend's clothes while I was sleeping with him was wrong on so many levels. I being a woman wouldn't want a man to do that to me. So this was wrong on a million different levels. So what did I do I had no choice but to comply. I went in his closet to look at all the different outfits that belonged to her. I had to admit, I hate that she can have space like that in his house.

I felt like I was invading on a territory that was foreign, even though the ground was mines to begin with. Jacob was mine and I hated the fact that I had to share Jacob with any other woman. I guess you can say I hate her because she has Jacob free willingly.

I took a look at the clothes selection. This girl had not one sense of fashionable clothes. Yes it was all name brand, but they were seasonally out of date and looked like something a department store sells. I am used to buying straight from the designer. It has always been that way.

I decided on a sweater and same khaki pants. Everything else I wouldn't be caught dead in wearing. She had a horrible sense of fashion and I wondered what Jacob saw in her. I sighed as I went and took a quick shower.

While I got out of the bathroom Jacob went in to take a quick shower. I knew while I was getting ready he was sleeping. I could tell he doesn't sleep much now a day. When he came out I was applying a small bit of make-up, I always keep a small kit in my bag.

"But why are you making yourself look even sexier than you are. You don't need all that." He walked over to me as he had the towel wrapped around himself.

I took a look over at his frame and admired what I saw. He had a body of a god. I guess to describe Jacob would be a sex god. All his glory would make any woman fall to her knees. He was amazing and I realized I never really deserved him, even if I love him with all my heart.

"I know, but I have to." I answered honestly. Josue was used to having the most beautiful exotic women ever. If I ever let my image go down when I was around him how could I, even though isn't that what I want to not be with him, to liberate myself for him. I guess since Josue is a hot commodity and it would be in my best interest if he stuck around awhile longer while I am in the prime of my career.

"For him right?" Jacob sucked his teeth. I knew he was jealous it's in his nature to be. Jacob has always been protective of me and it's something that I love about him.

"Well he is my boyfriend." I looked at his dark brown eyes that melted me every time I looked into them. I could really just stay and look into those beautiful features that could one day make themselves into a future child of ours.

"You seriously want to know when your sexiest moment is?" he smiled when he said it. I had a feeling he was going to say something sweet. It was in Jacob's nature to be sweet; he is a natural sweet talker.

"When." I was generally intrigued to know what his answer would be.

"When you just woke up and I am hugging you just like when we fell asleep. I fall in love because you have natural beauty you don't need all that make-up." He kissed my forehead and I smiled.

"You always have something sweet to say huh?" he kissed me again. I loved this man he is everything a woman dreams of having.

"That's the way I am, you know that." He hugged me tight.

"I know and I love you dumb ass ok get dressed." I pushed him in the direction of the bed playfully. I watched as he went over to bed and removed the towel.

"Don't look at me." he looked at and I had a puzzled look on my face as to what he meant by that. Since when was Jacob Black self conscious about him.

"Dude it's not like I have never seen you naked." I looked over at him cautiously.

"You're right, but I don't like people staring because I have to work out I am starting to get a beer belly." I looked at his frame and saw nothing he was the most perfect guy ever. I bet he could put some male models to shame with his frame.

"I love your beer belly, your perfect to me and that's what matters." I smiled at him and continued to add lipstick on.

"Is that right." He smiled as he put his boxers on. I went back to look in the mirror and made sure that everything fine.

"Ok you ready let's go." I hurried him. I kind of just wanted to get this over with.

"Wait I have to put my shoes on." He said as he walked over to the closet to which I presume to get his shoes.

"Hurry up! Hurry up!" I really was getting impatient and I knew I would have to go see the man I didn't love and leave the man I have loved since I was sixteen.

"What's your rush?" he said as he peeked out of the closet door. I sighed I want to get this over with.

Finally we got out of the house and were driving to Seattle. Every mile was counting what I had left to be with Jake. I knew I shouldn't be doing the things I have been doing; yes I was robbing myself of true happiness if I continued to be with Josue. But in the end it was a benefit towards me.

When we got outside of the hotel in where Josue was staying I looked down at my phone. I hesitated in calling him.

"Well I guess I am leaving now." I looked over at the beautiful man that was sitting next to me. I leaned over and gave him a simple kiss on the cheek. He looked over at me a bit taken by the action. He gripped me by the neck and initiated a sweet kiss. It was like saying goodbye, though we would see each other soon. I sighed as I pulled away and dialed Josue's number.

"Josue I am downstairs." I said simply, giving no other details. I knew I would have to lie soon.

"What happen to you last night? You never called me back." He sounded a bit upset. I didn't think it would affect him like that. He sounded generally worried.

"I am sorry, but my phone died and I didn't have my charger come outside." I know I lied, and I don't feel good about it. What would I have said to him, when he is such a sweet person to me.

"Who came to leave you?" he asked and I could tell he would have some sense of jealousy even though that isn't really Josue's character to play jealous boyfriend.

"Umm.. Jacob did, he is such a great friend." I lied well the friend part anyway.

"Oh ok I am coming downstairs now." He hesitated a bit when he gave his response.

"Ok see you." I hung up the phone. "Well I guess I'll be going. See you later?" I looked at him with hope that there would be a later.

"I don't like this." He said as he gripped the steering wheel a little tighter. I knew he wanted to control his anger. Jacob has a small amount of ticks that make him act on impulse.

I smiled and shook my head. Jacob can be silly but jealous Jake turns me on. "Bye." I undid the seat belt and kissed his cheek.

"Alright bye, call me, text me you know what to do." He looked at me directly when he said it.

I got out of the car and Josue was standing in the lobby when I went in. I sighed and gave him a meaningless kiss on the lips. I missed Jacob.

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Jacob **

She had just got out of my car and I swear I felt like going into the hotel and snatching her away from frenchy. I hate that guy with a passion because he has the woman I loved. I knew what the right thing to do was. I had to go see Vanessa and I wasn't so sure I wanted to deal with her nagging and bickering, but she is my girlfriend.

I drove to Vanessa's house in a not so good mood. When I parked the car in the front and I realized 'fuck I am in front of Vanessa's house.' I don't know why I lasted so long with her seriously.

The crazy thing is I don't need sex anymore that's what I have Nessie for. Not that that's what I want her for. I just like the way she kisses me and touches me which no other woman can do. It seriously turns me on.

I turned the car off and got out and walked to the front door of her house I sighed deeply. I rang the bell and a minute later she was at the door all smileys. I knew I was going to hear it for the missed calls last night.

"Why didn't you answer my calls last night? Why should I have to ask." She rolled her eyes as we both walked inside of the house.

"Vanessa listen, my phone died and I was exhausted so I just fell asleep sorry." I kissed her cheek.

"Really Jacob." She sighed. "I have trust in you so I believe you, but don't give me motives not to believe you."

"That's all I ask Vanessa have trust in me." I smoothed her hair back and kissed her forehead. Vanessa can be nice and sweet at times. It just doesn't happen as often as I would want it to happen.

So that same day I took Vanessa out to lunch and shit we did our regular date and shit. Life can get boring after a while with Vanessa she doesn't like change much and with having Nessie in my life again I know she feels like she might lose me. Which could be true because with Nessie I am on call she tells me 'Jacob I am breaking up with frenchy', and I'll be there in a heartbeat.

So here I was with Vanessa thinking I am going to have a quiet lunch with my girl. She looks at me and sighs. I take that as a cue as I continue to blow on my soup.

"Jacob, what does she mean to you?" Vanessa asked and that caught me off guard I nearly choked on my spoon. In the end the soup burned my tongue.

"Who are you talking about?" I asked as I raised my eyebrow. I knew she meant Nessie I spend so much more extra time with my Ex girl then I do with my current girlfriend.

"The model, you know Vanessa Swan." She gulped hard. I knew this had to affect her some way been with her far too long.

"First off her name is Nessie, and she is an important person to me because she is like a best friend to me." I lied, I couldn't say well she is important to me because I love her and she is all I want, not to mention I would love to call her my wife some day.

Those kinds of things you just don't say to your girlfriend, the fact that you love another woman and won't ever get her off your mind. The relationship I have with Nessie is complicated, and it's because I love her to a point it hurts.

"She was in my life a point where I didn't know what wanted. She kind of pushed me in the direction to realize what was important. I guess I can honestly say I thank her, because if it weren't for her I wouldn't have an ounce of a thing I own." It was true. Nessie made me want to better myself. I put so much work into being someone after she left. Well I left.

"Ok I see, if she means a lot to you I'll try not to get jealous when she is around. I seriously have a feeling she isn't going anywhere no time soon." She was damn right. I just got Nessie back into my life no way was I letting go.

"Hope so."

We enjoyed the rest of the meal, me listening to Vanessa talk about a trip she wants to take to see her family I wasn't paying attention at all though. I was too busy thinking about Nessie. That girl has a permanent mark in my heart and brain shit.

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Nessie **

Yesterday I spent the day with Josue and it was the longest day ever for me. I have always had to deal with him and those times were amazing. Now I spend them with him and I can't wait to leave him. I am back in Forks and I am going to speak to my Grandma Esme about the house.

I borrowed my mom's car since she didn't use it much. I drove to the house in where I was born in. I didn't have much time spent there, but it did have a lot of history there.

I pulled up to the long drive way that led to the luxurious home that belonged to my grandparents. I missed my family, just to the point that I am going to see them now made it hit me harder. I missed them more then I perceived to have.

I parked the car and turned off the engine and walked the rest of the way to the house. The house seemed unreal to me, it was like something out of a fairytale book. It was secluded minus some new houses being built in the area.

I didn't need to ring the bell or knock when my grandma was at the door with a smile on her face. I missed the sweet tender maternal feeling that belonged to my grandmother. More than a grandmother she has been a strong maternal figure in my life. She is my mother in my eyes.

I immediately gave her a hug due to the years I haven't seen her and missed her dearly. We didn't say any words and we walked into the large living room.

"I missed you dearly sweet heart." She hugged me once more. She smelled the same. Her scent of honey suckle and vanilla. She hadn't aged much except for a few grey hairs that were surfacing. She didn't look a day over 40 when she was way on pushing mid 60's.

"I missed you too grandma. I think you know why I came." I smiled at her. She grabbed me by the hand and led me towards grandpa's study. At his desk was my grandfather looking over some papers.

"Do you want to go see the house Renesmee?" Grandma Esme asked me.

"Grandma I trust that you did a splendid job a choosing the house and by the pictures I trust your judgment it's gorgeous. Where do I sign and pay?" I asked with a smile plastered on my face. Grandma smiled.

"Well I can call the realtor. She is a very good friend of ours and I am sure she would be more than willing to come out today and bring the required paper work. I am glad you decided to come and stay in Forks sweet heart." She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and kissed my cheek.

"Of course Grandma." I place my head on her shoulder.

"I'll call her and I am sure she will be here in no more than an hour." My grandma looked all giddy and went out of the room probably to go get her phone.

"You know Renesmee I am very proud of you. I haven't had the chance to say it to you before, but I am. I am sure Edward hasn't talked to you much but give your father a chance. You only have one father appreciate him. Edward loves you." Grandpa said it randomly and I looked at him surprised.

I know I didn't have the best relationship with my father, but I knew I should still talk to him. It was his fault the loss of my son, but I blame myself as well for not wearing a seat belt and blaming my mother's trust. I should leave all those things in the past and keep moving forward.

"Thank you and I know." I smiled at him. Grandma came back in and we spent the next hour small talking until the realtor came.

I was a little excited about it. I would be able to move into my house the same day. It was my first real thing to be owned by me besides the apartment in New York. It was an amazing feeling.

The realtor came and we all sat in the dining room at the table to discuss the house. The realtor went by the name Zafrina. She was a good friend of my Grandparents and family.

"So you want to buy the house and would you like to work out a payment plan?" she asked nicely. I knew I was buying the house in full now. I had the money for it.

"No I am paying it in full now." I said. She had a smile that lingered to her lips.

"Ok without a problem. I am pretty sure you would be able to situate yourself today." She said it calmly.

I liked that idea. I could move in today and it would be nice. I would have to talk to Leah and definitely have the twin's birthday at the house. Their birthday was a week away and it was perfect.

I signed all the proper papers so the house was mine. My grandparents and my parents were coming with me so we could all see the house together. My mom looked like she was going to pop any second.

We were in the car and Grandpa Carlisle was driving to my newly bought house. From what I know the house is a four bedroom, three and a half bathrooms. It was big and I liked that. It had a large front and backyard which was perfect. I was excited to see the house that I now owned.

We pulled up to the house finally and my jaw was dropped to the location. I just bought the house next to the one man that I wouldn't want to live next door to Jacob fucking Black. I slapped my forehead for that one. He would think I did this on purpose.

"Oh my fucking gosh." I know I cursed in front of my grandparents and parents.

"Renesmee your language." my mother scolded. I covered my mouth for a second.

"Sorry ma, do you know who lives next door to me?" I ran my fingers through my hair.

"No who sweetie?" she placed her hand on her enlarged mid section.

"I just bought the house next to the devil." I sighed. "Hold on I'll show you." I called Jacob. "Can you come outside?" I asked nicely.

"_Why?"_He asked a little taken by my request.

"Just come outside for a minute."

"_Ok." _We hung up the phone and a minute later he came outside.

"Oh wow." My mom was shocked. "Jacob lives next door?" my mom raised his eyebrow.

"Yea, thanks grandma." I smiled at her sarcastically.

"What you doing here?" he asked generally surprised.

"I just bought this house." I pointed at my house. That sounds good to say.

"You did that on purpose huh? You just want to be close to Me." he winked at me. I rolled my eyes. If it were my first choice, I wouldn't have chosen a house next to Jacob or even in the vicinity.

"No, my grandma didn't tell me till now. We got here like now. This is the first time I am seeing the house in person." I crossed my arms across my chest as I got a little closer to him.

"Oh, so when you moving?"

"Today." I smiled at him.

"Oh." He sounded unenthusiastic.

"I haven't seen the house yet. Why don't you come over?" I batted my eyelashes to persuade him.

"Ok." He said simply.

We went inside the house. It was big gorgeous and most of all beautiful. It fit everything I would want. I couldn't help it as I twirled when I was in the foyer. I was excited.

"Oh my gosh it's beautiful." I shrieked as I went into the large living room.

"I know sweetie I knew you would love it." Grandma said contently. I knew she would choose the perfect house for me.

I walked up the steps to the master bedroom Jacob followed right behind me.

"Oh my gosh look it's sexy." I admired the large room that was mines. It had a walk in closet and had mirrors for the doors of the closet.

"Yea sexy." He eyed me up and down and licked his lips.

"Shut up." I pushed his chest and went to look at the inside of the closet.

It was just me and him inside of my room with the door closed. Jacob was just looking at me and for a second I felt self-conscious.

"Stop looking at me like that." I know I sounded childish, but I couldn't help it.

"What I can't look at you now?" he sounded defensive.

"No you can't, not like that anyway." I crossed my arms and he moved closer.

"Wow, well I am about to go home I am tired I need some sleep." He yawned.

"I was going to ask you maybe you could help bring some of the stuff Grandma has for the house over." I batted my eyelashes again at him so he could say yes.

He moved even closer to me. "What am I going to get in return?" he asked. With Jacob he only wants one thing, but I have to know his true intentions.

"What do you want?" I moved closer to him so we were almost touching.

"I think we both know." He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Shut up, maybe if I am in the mood." I smiled at him. He grabbed my hand and placed it on his dick which wasn't dormant anymore.

"You like that right?" he had a smile of satisfaction on his face.

"Oh my god, you're too much." I sighed.

"No you love this." He had that cocky smile.

My stomach started grumbling and I realized I didn't eat all day. "I am hungry." Ii said randomly and Jacob started laughing.

"Really?" he continued to laugh and I didn't know what was so funny about me being hungry.

"Yea I am I haven't ate today since I wasn't really hungry till now."

"See that's why you're so fucking skinny." He said it as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I laughed at him.

"Shut up, I'm not that skinny." I defended myself.

"Compared to before come on." He did the pshh sound after.

I laughed because he was being funny. "You always dissing me I swear."

"Nah I am not doing it to hurt you. You know I love you girl." He gripped my waist tighter and kissed me on the lips.

"Oh my god! you always do that to me. Ugh I'm about to go buy food." I said as I gripped my midriff.

"I'll take you or you can come to my house. I have food." He smiled and kissed me once more. He always knew how to take care of me. I smiled back at him.

"Your house is closer." I pushed away from him and grabbed his hand.

"Ok then I got you."

We went to his house and walked into the kitchen. I sat down on the stool of the island. "So what you got?" I asked because I was still hungry.

"Take a look, I have no idea what's in this house." He answered honestly. I got back up and walked over to the fridge and the only thing he had was bottled water, beer, and champagne. He had nothing so I knew he just wanted me to come over for his reasons.

"You don't have shit." I answered bluntly.

"I don't know I don't really be home."

"You just wanted to get me by myself huh?" I smiled.

"You damn sure right." He placed his hands on my hips.

"You are a freak. You always want to fuck me." I sighed. I felt like that was the only thing he wanted from me.

"You're sexy." He chuckled.

"Well I am not in the mood. I am hungry and I have a headache." I answered honestly as I ran my hand to the top of my head.

"Awe my baby. I am going to cook for you." He grabbed me in an embrace. I was shock, Jacob cooking? I couldn't believe it.

"You cook?" I asked still a little shocked and I laughed.

"I am serious." He sounded serious so I stopped laughing.

"I want to see this." I watched him walk over to a cupboard and pull a pan out.

He went to the fridge and pulled a bag of chicken wings out. He started cooking and it actually smelled good.

"Damn baby that smells real good. Where did you learn to cook?" I was a bit intrigued by that.

"Don't worry about it just know it's going to be good." He went back to frying the chicken.

I was shocked, when he was done and I tasted it. It was actually good I have to give it to him. Jacob and I ate his food. I would have to deal with my family and boyfriend later. Being with Jacob just felt natural to me. We were just two friends hanging out right now. I liked the feeling.

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**I feel that was short, anyways did you like it?**

**I am proud to say I am happy she bought the house next door to Jacob without her knowing, that was the point. Anyway now review! =] Sorry about the delay again hope you forgive me! i'll try not to do it again. I said try not to. hehe. =] leave something. Don't be shy you know you want to...  
**


	8. Ch7 Invitations

**A/N: Okay so It's 2:15 in the morning I Just finished writing this and correcting this. I am sorry for the Delay guys. Like I said before updates might come less frequent, but I'll still write this. Hopefully I can have some more time to write. Well Here goes Chapter Seven and I hope you enjoy. I really do Appreciate the people who have been so Patient and continue to read. I basically write for you guys because I care. Well Read Review Leave me what you think.**

**DISCLAIMER: SM owns twilight.**

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Chapter 7: Invitations.

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**Nessie**

What else could I even consider good news? Angel was coming along with Justin's cousin Rodney, also Laycie and Samantha and that was pretty good news. I seriously needed it if I was going to move along.

It was like a lot of my family was coming to visit, a lot of people I cared for. I hadn't talked to Angel much, but we had talked here in there when I was living with Aunt Rose and Emmett in L.A.

My family was coming from L.A. as well. I loved the idea of Brandon coming with Miriam. I still couldn't believe that after so long they were still together. Hopefully they could make me an auntie soon. I was a little excited to see all these familiar faces.

Today Leah was coming over so we could hang out. I hadn't spent much time with her and I felt bad because she was one of the girls who I can truly call my best friend, more so then Rachel or Emily.

I could say Leah was my ride or die because she has been there for me same as I have been there for her. I loved the girl like a sister, plus she is married to my best friend who is definitely my brother for life. She is also like an aunt through marriage since well the old man married Sue finally they did it by the civil. Grandpa married Sue and he deserved his slice at happiness.

Josue was going to come over in the night after his meeting to see the house I bought. He thinks I bought it out of impulse and that wasn't the case at all. I bought it to have something that is mines and I can have a place for anyone of my family can come visit me and stay over.

Over the years my family had grown to a larger size. I knew it would only grow with more time. Jacob was still a major part in my life and it is still hard to let go. Guess I have to get used to him in my life without making a big deal about it.

I know I used to dream about having something more with him and just not a sexual relationship. The chances of that look kind of slim though. We don't have much of an opportunity for anything else. We are on the DL and doesn't look like there are any chances of much progression.

I sighed as the doorbell rang. I knew it would be Leah and the kids. They would go off to play in the yard and do things children do as me and Leah had some girl talk. I know she has a lot to ask and question me about. It is all typical Leah style. I trust her so I have no problem in speaking with her about anything.

I opened the door and I was right it was Leah. My house was mostly furnished Grandma Esme works fast, but she also had some help from Alice in that aspect. I smiled at Leah and gave her a hug.

"Leah I am glad you came." I smiled at her.

"Well Justin is working today and the kids didn't have school today, I decided on seeing you. I missed you girl. Sometimes you disappear on people months at a time Ness." She crossed her arms. Two little munchkins came around her hips and smiled angelically. There was an undertone to their actions and I knew it. Wasn't as sure as to if I should be concerned.

"Hi TT, do you know what's coming up real soon." Jayden batted his eyelashes. I looked over to Jonathan and he had a pearly white smile peering up at me. The sight was too cute and I wondered if my son would have been that way as well.

I knew they were trying to wrap me around their little fingers. I hadn't had much experience with children, but I knew I wouldn't give in at all. I smiled at the two boys.

"Yes boys I know what's coming, and if you want to know what your gifts are too bad you aren't going to know shrimps." I smiled contently and both boys' jaws dropped. I knew they were disappointed and it made me happy.

"Why don't the two of you go play in the yard and don't go into the woods." Leah warned them lightly. Both boys went running to the patio door and out. Leah and I followed and sat on the patio to observe the two boys.

"So how have things been?" I started conversation; she giggled and turned to face me completely. I knew what was coming.

"Same, same. Now let's talk about you." She placed her hand on my knee trying to get the wanted information that she was concerned about. I knew it well 'Jacob' I don't know why he is such an interesting topic to hit. Even after many years of not discussing him with anyone else. People felt my feelings were easily hurt if they mentioned him.

I am nowhere near a fragile person as they think. I know I am strong and if I weren't it would have been impossible to move on from my part. It has made me grow as a person. So why is it when Jacob comes into my life I turn into that young minded teenage girl? How am I going to conduce myself as a grown woman when I can't even act like an adult in front of my ex?

"What is there to talk about? I am the same as well, except well me and Jacob are talking again." I looked away for a second.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen! You cannot lie to me. I can read you like a book, you're glowing and it isn't because your boyfriend is causing that. Be honest with me I won't judge you, you know I won't. I hardly knew Justin when I slept with him, not to mention he got me pregnant. I won't judge you. You're my best friend. You were there for me when a lot of people thought badly of me and I love you for it. You're still there for me and I am always going to be there for you." She smiled and her voice held not an ounce that she was lying. It warmed me up to hear it.

I felt my eyes tear up lightly. Those words meant a lot coming from her she is one of the few females I can trust who aren't relatives. I wasn't going to allow myself to cry even though they were tears of joy. I ran my hand over my face when I saw the one person in the yard next door just walk out of his house.

"Do you see why we can't talk about this right now." I smiled at her.

"I got it, just very ironic huh." She winked at me.

Jacob peered over the wooden fence that wasn't very high next to him. This man was tall and gorgeous. I smiled when I saw him leaning his chin over his crossed arms that were on the top of the fence.

"Hey Clearwater." He greeted Leah and totally ignored me, like I wasn't the owner of the house he was peering into.

"Hey Black, you know my last name isn't Clearwater anymore. It is Franco." She looked at me when she said it. I knew she was proud to carry the last name. "Shouldn't you be at work Black, you have my husband working crazy hours and every time I see you you're always off." she crossed her arms and looked at Jacob who had a grin on his face.

"It's a perk when you're the boss." He cockily answered. I had a feeling him staying home had a lot to do with me being on vacation.

"Are you stalking me Mr. Black?" I asked, but it was meant to be rhetoric.

"Awe Ms. Cullen, I didn't notice you were there." He in forced the Ms. A lot more, he smiled when he looked at me. "Seems when you're turned to the side you blend in with your surroundings." He laughed. There he goes with the skinny jokes.

"Ha-ha very funny Mr. Black." I gave him a fake smile and rolled my eyes.

"Cut the bullshit you two. I know there is something going on between the two of you. Jacob you tense up when Ness's boyfriend is around. Nessie you act different when Jacob's around. Even the way the two of you look at each other is full of love. So cut the bullshit, everyone else might not be as perceptive, but I see it. I am your best friend Ness." She looked at Jacob and I back and forth. Was it that obvious?

My jaw dropped at her outburst, Jacob had the same reaction because his jaw was dropped as well. Leah caught on fast. I always knew I couldn't hide things from her nor Justin. That's why they're meant for each other.

"Is it that obvious?" Jacob asked. Leah just nodded her head yes and I swiped my hand over my face as the shame hit me slightly. I couldn't keep a thing from Leah and if she knew that meant anyone could know.

"What do you think is going on?" I asked. I looked her in her deep brown eyes to make sure she wasn't going to lie and just say what she wanted to see. Leah and Justin have been supporters of me and Jacob being together.

"To be honest I think you two are fucking." She said it so blunt that my jaw dropped once more. I think Jacob had a smirk on his and I wanted to slap it off.

"That obvious huh?" Jacob said with that smirk on his face. She nodded her head once more.

"When did you find out?" I asked. I was the calm one at the moment.

"The moment that shit came out that you two was dating, I know that the two of you said it was nothing, but I know the two of you. That was code the two of you were fucking. You two treat each other different now. Jacob you're always smiling now, Ness you're fucking glowing. That's true happiness right there." Her words were again blunt, but they were true. Leah is completely real and say's what she knows. She will never lie to you she keeps it one –hundred percent and that's what I love about her.

"You can't knock her there Nessie. Leah has always been truthful." Jacob agreed with the words of in sight.

"She is right. I can't keep it from her. You just better not tell anyone else Leah or I will kill you." I joke threatened and she laughed.

"Please Nessie like I would tell anyone that. Oh guess what you know Nessie Swan supermodel, well she is having sexual relations with Jacob Black from Black motors. Oh here is where it gets good they dated when they were teenagers and he knocked her up back then. They just have so much history together." She said it all sarcastically and I started laughing, Jacob joined in shortly after.

"I trust you Leah." I hugged her.

"I know, but you do know the two of you can cut the bullshit and be yourselves won't judge you two. Just cut the bullshit this fronting act is getting really annoying." She was right, Jacob and I acting like teenager wasn't going to solve much of anything.

I wanted to keep things one-hundred. I guess what I wanted was to not hide things as much. I just wanted to have some happiness and Jacob gave me that happiness when I was with him. He was my private sunshine and he brightens my day.

"Yea, Leah you know how I told you about the b-d-a-y p-a-r-t-y and how I wanted to do it here. Did you take consideration?" I forgot to talk about last minute party plans.

"Yea Ness, since my mother in law is staying with you and she is a bit of a control freak I see no problem in that. Did you speak to Angel he has been talking to Justin nonstop and he is staying with you." She sighed after she mentioned Laycie. I don't think she was excited about Laycie coming, because Laycie criticizes her a lot.

Angel was the twin's godfather; I was the twin's godmother. We were supposed to be there it was a requirement. Angel is an Uncle to those boys and I have heard he has done a lot for them. Those boys have a lot of support and that's a good thing. I was looking forward to seeing Angel again.

My phone rang before I could answer Leah again. I took a look at the caller Id and it was my boyfriend. He normally texts before he calls, so I am guessing it is very important.

"Sorry Leah let me get this." I pressed the talk button and answered. "Hey honey." I answered a little out of it.

"_Renesmee I know you're going to hate me when you hear this." He_ sounded a little regretful and my face fell. I wonder what he had to say.

"What's wrong honey?" I asked a little generally considered. I looked over at Jacob who rolled his eyes. I could tell he didn't like the idea that I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I loved to make him jealous so I smiled.

"_I have to go to France on business I am sorry. I thought I could have postponed it, but it's urgent they need me there now. I won't be able to come tonight. I am actually at the airport now on my way to France. I am sorry mon amour I'll make it up to you when I come back. We'll meet in New York?" _he asked. I was a little upset, but content at the same time.

"Fine Josue if it's that urgent then sure. We'll catch up when you come back to the states." I tried to sound solemnly so he would catch how excited I was about this.

"_Ok mon amour, I have to go now I care about you. Tell your family I am sorry I couldn't stick around longer."_ He let a sigh out. He was generally concerned I could tell by the tone.

"Ok no problem." We hung up the phone and I sighed. My phone rang once more and it was Angel. "Hey Angel."

"_Ren I am on my way with Rodney and Justin. Laycie said something about speaking to your dad and she was coming soon as well. We're about 20 minutes from your house so be alert alright ma." _

"Alright Angel, Tell Justin his wife and kids are here." I eyed the kids who were chasing each other with sticks. Ah it was Justin and Angel when they were younger all over again. "See you guys soon then." We hung up.

"Your husband is on the way with Angel and Rodney. Angel said they'll be here in 20 minutes." I told Leah.

"Angel, Rodney and Justin together isn't a good thing." She ran her hand over her face. "Nessie please control them." She looked a bit stressed by the idea.

"Leah I know the three of them. They are probably going to smoke haze the whole time they are here. If not they'll be drinking beer." Jacob was still on the fence and he cleared his throat. He was trying to get our attention.

"The guys can come over here. My boys are coming over to watch the baseball game. I am going inside so when they get here just tell them to come over ok." He said when he started walking back to his house. Leah and I told him ok.

Leah and I continued to have some small talk. She told me some details that she wanted for the birthday. Emily, Rachel, Sue and she were cooking and my grandma had agreed to make the twins a cake. I knew that cake was going to be amazing.

Finally the guys came over. I was a bit excited when the doorbell I wanted to see my boys. I opened the door and the one who rang the bell was Angel I jumped into his arms and wrapped my arms around his neck. He fell back and I fell on top of him.

"Angel I missed you." He wrapped his arms around my waist and smiled.

"Come on Ren, I didn't think you missed me that much since you're famous and all. You forget people and shit." He laughed.

"Come on Angel I could never forget you. You're one of my first friends next to Justin. You aren't a Justin, but you're pretty close." I smiled.

"I think we should get off the floor. I think I might have to change now since you probably have my clothes dirty now." He chuckled and I got off of him.

"Sup Rodney." I nodded my head at him and went over to hug Justin. "Jacob said if you guys want you can go over to his house and watch the game with him and his boys." I sighed when I said that. The words came out perfectly and correct.

"Jacob wants to hang out." Justin raised his eyebrow. He was cool with Jacob, but I wasn't sure how they were going to handle being around all the boys.

**

* * *

Jacob**

I had invited all the boys over to watch the game. I was even in a good mood so I invited Nessie's boys over. I was fucking happy that her boyfriend wasn't going to be here. He called her and I could tell he made up some excuse about not being able to come, that shit got me hype because come on more territory for me to take his girl away from him.

Nessie was mine in the first place anyway. She should have never got to the point in where she got away from me and that was my fault. The boys came over and brought snacks and food for the game. This was going to be fun I had a feeling it was. My doorbell rang and I had a feeling it was Nessie's boys hope she came with them because that would be more fun.

I got up from the couch and walked to the door to answer. I peered through the peep hole I saw Nessie's face along with three guys behind her.

"Jacob open the door!" Nessie said as she knocked on the door. I knew she knew I was looking through the peep hole.

I opened the door and tried to look irritated by her showing up at my door. "What you want? I am busy." I know I lied, but its fun to mess with her because she get's all red in the face and mad Nessie is sexy.

She had this smile on her face that made me know that she was going to say a real smart remark that I wasn't going to like. "Now you're lying, because you send me a text message telling me to come over." She still had that smirk on her face and I swear my jaw dropped without it wanting to.

"Yea by yourself." I muttered under my breath. I hope she didn't catch it though.

"What's up Jake?" Justin said in his upbeat mode voice.

"What's up?" I nodded my head. I took a look at the other two guys. There was a dark skin guy with braids which I recognized as Angel and then there was a guy that looked like Justin just with long hair. You can tell these guys had Urban New York City written all over them.

"You remember Angel and Rodney right." Nessie said and eyed me like I didn't.

"Um yea I do." I said as I started walking back inside the house to the living room. "Come in guys." They followed me into the other room. "Guys this is Angel and Rodney and ya'll already know Justin so no introductions there." I sat down on the couch.

"Hey I am Quil. This is Embry." He pointed to Embry. "That's Seth, Paul, Jared and finally Sam." Quil pointed them out as he mentioned them. I just sulked deeper in the couch. Nessie sat next to me she was really close and I could smell the sweetness from her perfume.

"Nice to meet you guys." Angel said politely. Rodney just nodded his head. I pictured him being the type to not say much. I tried to focus on the TV, but it was hard to focus on the game when this woman was sitting next to me. I guess you can say her beauty is blinding.

A couple minutes into the game my phone buzzed and it was a text message. I looked who it was and it was Vanessa. I opened the text and it said

**Vanessa: I'm coming over I am about ten minutes away. Miss you baby. ;-***

I ran my hand over face. Nessie looked at me and she whispered in my ear. "What's wrong?" she asked.

I looked at her and sighed. I didn't know how she was going to take the fact of Vanessa coming over. Vanessa coming over meant Vanessa was staying over.

"Now Nessie don't get mad." I know Nessie hates Vanessa like I hate her man. I had to calm her down. We couldn't make a big deal about it. The rest of the guys were really into the game.

"Why what happen?" she asked. Again we were speaking in whispers.

"My girl is going to come over soon." I winced expecting for her to freak out or something.

To my surprise she didn't. She just blinked like if it were nothing. "Ok we're friends I'm not jealous. Why would I get mad?" she smiled. She took this a million times better than I thought she would. Deep down I knew it was a front and she wanted to yell and scream.

"I'm just saying." I said slickly. She licked her bottom lip a little seductively and I knew I would be getting turned on soon. I quickly looked away from her.

"Anyway." She said a little annoyed, so I knew Vanessa's visit is getting to her. I know Renesmee she won't say anything about it.

The doorbell rang before I could say anything to Ness. So much for ten minutes it was more like five. "That should be Vanessa." I got up from the couch and went to answer the door. As soon as I opened the door Vanessa jumped me and her lips were on me.

I am guessing she thought we were alone and she wanted to get straight for the action. That was a bad idea knowing my boys were here, the woman I love was here. It was a really bad time for it. Vanessa doesn't turn me on like before. I guess it is because I have the real deal again.

"Vanessa- baby- calm- down- my- friends- are- here." I said between kisses. She stopped and frowned. I guess this messed up her plans for the evening.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" she frowned.

"Maybe because I was into the game and I didn't realize you text or called." I lied, but if I told her the truth she would be pissed. I would have to be like Vanessa I didn't tell you was because the love of my life is here and you don't deserve to be here.

Vanessa and I walked into the living room. I saw how Nessie eyed Vanessa and I observed how Vanessa eyed Nessie. I thought I might as well introduce her.

"Vanessa these are the guys, Angel and Rodney and my friend Renesmee."I made sure I clarified Renesmee as my friend even though she was far from a friend in reality.

"Hey Embry how are you?" she ignored everyone I just mentioned and went straight to the people she already knew. That kind of pissed me off and it showed how fucking rude she is. That really got to me and it turned me off completely.

"I am good." Embry asked a little confused, but he then continued to watch the game.

"Jacob I am mad she is here. You sure she is just your friend?" Vanessa said it with a small undertone. I could tell she hated Nessie and I wasn't as sure as to why. There was no competition there if Nessie wanted me she sure as hell could have me.

"Yes I am sure why would I have to lie for." I lied again. There really wasn't a thing in my daily life that wasn't a lie anymore. It is something you learn to live with now.

"I am just saying you know." She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. I looked at Ness who looked a bit irritated herself. She seemed to hide it well though and I admired her composure.

"Yea I know." I rolled my eyes myself. Vanessa looked like she was far from being done ranting on.

"Because I do hear a lot of shit about you." She sneered the whole sentence and I didn't like her attitude right now. I was getting a bit pissed and my blood started to boil.

"You hear doesn't mean its real or true ok honey." I said it in an irritated tone, but that was because she almost crossed the line. I was so close to breaking up with her at the moment.

She smiled and I wanted to role my eyes. "Since when did I get such a smart boyfriend?" she gave a small snorted laugh and it was annoying. Nessie coughed and I knew she did it on purpose. She got up and sat down next to Angel and I didn't like that much.

"Oh god, so Angel." I saw her trying to change the conversation. She was whispering some things in his ear and giggling. I wanted to know what the fuck she was saying to him. He started smiling and I swear my face was burning red in fury. I didn't like her being around any other fucking guy if it wasn't me.

I know I shouldn't be so territorial when she isn't even mines to claim. Yet. She would be mines though I know it.

I went and sat next to Nessie on the couch. They were sitting on the long couch. There was enough space. Vanessa sat next to Embry and they started a conversation.

"What did you tell Angel?" I whispered in her ear. She turned to face me slightly so that it wouldn't be a big difference in the position she was prior.

"Its private." She whispered back. "Go with your girl don't leave her lonely." Those words stung a bit. She was going to change her attitude and I didn't like that. There was a lot I didn't like.

"I do what I want." I whispered back. I felt her body quiver a little. I knew she felt my breath on the back of her neck. That's what caused the reaction in her body.

She ignored me now and went to talk to Angel. "Oh my gosh who is he?" she asked as she watched the game. It was on a commercial and it was for a movie. She was ogling the actor and I rolled my eyes. I didn't like the idea of her doing that.

"Come on Ren don't tell me you don't know who Mark Wahlburg is." Angel chuckled.

"Oh the guy from Four brothers, he is hot. Like ever since I seen that movie I had a crush on him, but that doesn't look like him."

"Ren that is him." Angel looked at her and nodded. I rolled my eyes without wanting to.

"I don't want to hear about how you like dudes and shit. Let's talk about bitches." Nessie did a double take and I guess she didn't like that.

"Don't call them bitches. The word for them is women." She said it in a smart ass tone and because I loved to get her mad I was going to mess with her.

"What's the difference between a bitch and a woman?" I asked. I know I knew the answer, but I loved to mess with her.

"A bitch is a female dog and you're looking at a woman right now." She was irritated and her face was red and I loved that look.

"Yea I don't know where." I smiled.

"Oh hell no I don't like the way you're trying to act. You fucker." I knew what she was referring to. It was because Vanessa was here. That wasn't the reason at all though.

"Seth you see this?" Justin said to Seth.

"Yea never going to change." Seth shook his head. I wanted to kick both of their ass's.

"I am going home." Nessie finally said. I didn't want her to leave. She was kind of my source of entertainment.

"Where you live?" Paul asked her. I knew this was going to be funny.

"She lives next door." I chuckled. Nessie looked at me a little embarrassed. I am guessing she thought they were going to say that was on purpose.

"Shut up Jake!" she scolded me. She pouted a little and that was so cute. I loved when she's mad.

"You do?" Jared asked.

"Yea I do, I bought the house next door without knowing he lived next door. I swear it wasn't my intention at all." She tried to prove herself. I knew she did it on purpose and she could try to deny it all she wanted.

"Right." I rolled my eyes.

"Well I am going to leave. Come on guys. If you want ya'll can stay, but I am leaving." I couldn't let her leave. So what did I do?

I had to say something so she wouldn't leave. I also couldn't be my complete self with her because Vanessa was here. "Why you're leaving? I haven't kicked you out yet." I tried to make it a joke, but she wasn't laughing. She had a serious face on.

"I feel like I should go." She said it low. I knew I had to ask if it was Vanessa.

"Is it because of Vanessa?" I had to ask because I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable in any way.

"No I just want to go home. I am hungry." I rolled my eyes everytime she says that I was starting to think she was pregnant or something. That would be a bad idea though.

"You're always hungry though." I rolled my eyes. "There's food here. I think we have some wings left and we can order some pizza. Just don't leave yet." I guess I was begging at this point. I know I shouldn't have, but I love to be around her. She makes me happy.

"Nah I am kind of in the mood for some home cook food. I am about to go to your sister's house and rob her from her food." She laughed and Paul turned his head quick on that one.

"The hell you will Nessie. You eat my food I will go to your house everyday and eat your food." Paul threatened. I knew that would be truth.

"Maybe that is a bad idea then." She laughed nervously.

"Definitely would be. I would know he is my brother in law."I sighed deeply at that. It sucked to have Paul as a brother in law, but you get used to it.

She laughed. "Well Jake I am going to leave. I'll probably go look for Samantha because I miss her tons." I knew she was trying to make any excuse to leave. The only thing I could do was let her leave though. I couldn't make her stay against her will.

"Alright no problem, we can hang out soon though right." I had to make sure.

"Um yea Jake, you're my next door neighbor. It's not like I won't see you again." She was right though. So I couldn't get jealous. Not to mention Frenchy left so that left me a little bit happy.

"Alright then."

**

* * *

Nessie**

I left Jacob's house because I couldn't stand being around his girlfriend. I know I won't admit it, but I despise that woman. She is real annoying I don't know how Jake puts up with her. That woman pisses me off. When she started to question him I wanted to be like yea bitch I am fucking your man, but I am too grown to start Kiddish fights.

If I wanted Jacob I could have him. She just doesn't know her boyfriend like I know him. He goes behind her back to have sex with me. So how she knows him?

I know I shouldn't even get into his relationship. It really wasn't my place to go there. I tried to calm myself down and I went home to relax. The best thought I got to relax was a nice long hot bath. They always seem to calm me.

So I did just that. I took a long bath and went in the living room to go over some of the things for work. So basically checking stats and junk, I felt a little bored and Josue hadn't called me. I was happy that he was gone, but I sort of missed him.

I guess because he has always been there. Not to mention its fun to make Jacob jealous. He is yummy when he is jealous. The idea turned me on. I squeezed my legs tight. I could feel Jake inside me even though he wasn't. I felt the sensation in the pit of my stomach and it made me want him so badly.

I didn't know what I was going to do though. Jacob couldn't come over because his little girlfriend was there and he is sure going to give it to her tonight. The idea got me so angry.

So I couldn't do anything. He wasn't my man to say anything about it. He belonged to her and she could have him whenever she wanted. I had to wait to have him and that wasn't fair.

I sighed. I knew the guys would be coming soon so I had to compose myself. I couldn't let myself get in a bitchy mood at all.

So I decided on going to the kitchen and eating some ice cream. That's all I had in the house. So I ate ice cream and waited for people to come visit me. I could always call Leah, but she was with her mom and I didn't feel like it. I was being lazy.

I started watching Snapped that show about women and how they commit crimes. It was a really good show and I hardly watch TV anymore. I don't have time for it.

I wondered what would poses a woman to kill her husband, or even kidnap a child, or kill her own kids. That is some serious stuff and it made me wonder if Jake's girl was that way. To me she seemed like the crazy type and it made me worry for Jake.

She seemed very 'Fake' and I had to keep an eye on her for that. I would make sure Jacob Black was mines again. I didn't care if I had to break him up with his girlfriend just so I could have my way. I missed Jake and he deserved to be with me even I didn't deserve him much.

Jacob Black was mine and I wouldn't share him. He was mines and mines only.

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**OKay now let me know what you think? Leave a Review. Do you think it was good? Do you think it's Dry needs more flavor? umm any ideas feel free to let me know. **

**So Yea Review? I would appreciate more Reviews because they feed my ego and when thats fed well more chapters quicker. If you Havent noticed the first couple of Chapters came out quiker because I had tons of love in the begining now its drying up. Well now It's 2:22am and I am going to bed love ya! =]  
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	9. Ch8 Heart throb

**A/N: I finally update this and this Chapter is longer. Well not that longer. Well this Chapter is all Nessie, I know I normally split POV's even if it's just a lil' towards the end. Well Enjoy it! Love it! and Review it! I am going to try to get the next Chapter up soon, I have to start it, but I do know where I want this story to go and it's going to only get better I promise. Things are still going to be slow so like I said before with school things get slow all i need is time. So yea Enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: SM OWNS THE TWILIGHT SAGA which is amazing! Can't wait til next week to go see Eclipse. It's Funny I am making my Best friend go watch it with me and he hates Twilight I am Evil HAHAHA!**

**THERE IS A MUCH DUE LEMON IN THIS CHAPTER! SCORE! lol  
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**Chapter 8: Heart throb**

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**Nessie**

That night I went over to my grandparent's house for dinner. Everyone was going to be there. I had a feeling this was going to be a turning point in my life. I wanted things to be simple for awhile, but it seems as I get older my life just gets complicated.

When we all arrived at the grandparent's house there seemed to be a very tense environment at the moment. I wondered what could have possibly happened. I tensed when I noticed my family was all panicky.

"What's wrong?" I asked immediately to know what was going on.

"Your mom, she is having the baby and it seems like there is a couple complications due to her age." Laycie clarified. I wondered where my mom was. I wanted to be there with her since she has always been there for me. More than just a mom she is my best friend.

"Where is she?" I asked worried for my mother's health.

"She is upstairs with your grandfather dear. Her water broke and she wanted your grandfather to do her delivery. You know how your father hates hospital wait." Grandma answered now.

"Can I go be with her?" I asked, but I was already at the stairs walking up. I didn't wait for her to give me the ok. I walked up the stairs at least two at a time. When I made it to the large mahogany door I didn't knock or anything.

I heard screaming so I knew she was delivering. I was just mad no one called me to let me know. I opened the door and went in to see my father on my mother's side smoothing her hair back trying to relax her. My grandfather was between her legs trying to deliver her baby.

The room was paler then white in its atmosphere. It had a few adjustments to make it a bit homier. To me the room still reminded me of a hospital room, dead and dull. I was trying to keep a distance, but I still wanted to be there for my mother.

I watched how she struggled and sweat was on her brow. I never was able to experience this and I could say I envied her a bit. I was unconscious when they took my son. The thoughts were swarming through my head and I started feeling light headed a bit. I tried to control myself as I went closer to my mother. I looked down and it looked like she was blowing a bubble that meant she was in the beginning of delivery and the head was coming out. You could see the bloody, hairy, liquid covered head coming out. It was something to admire even though it was gross looking.

She kept on screaming and saying cuss words something I never really have heard coming from my mother's mouth. As the minutes progressed and my mother was deeper in her delivery the baby became more visible. A couple swear words more and the baby came into this world. My grandfather cleaned the baby up and handed the beautiful baby girl to my mother.

My mother out of breath and amazed when she looked at the infant in her arms. She clearly still had her motherly glow. She eyed the infant dazed and whispered a few words. "Rosemary." She cooed the baby and ran her nose on her rosey cheeks.

The name was a combination of Aunt Rosalie and Aunt Alice's name Mary Alice. I knew my mom had a weird attachment to naming us after people in my family. My name is Renesmee which is a combination of my grandmother's names.

You could tell the attachment being established right now it was a beautiful thing. When I was pregnant I actually liked the feeling once I stopped throwing up. I missed it and I kind of wanted a baby now. I was nowhere near prepared for a baby back then and now I want to focus on my career before anything. Maybe in a near future though once I settle down.

I know plenty of models who have had children and went back into modeling. I idolized my mother for a second though. She had the guts to lose the love of her life, but she gained him once more. I guess you can say we go through hardships in life and we have to learn to deal with them. I realized that's exactly what I was doing with Jake. I was going through a hardship period and I didn't know how I was going to get out of this one without hurting someone.

The next few days were calm I hardly saw Jake, but that was because I stayed with my mom making sure she had all that she needed. Not like my father wasn't there 24-7 running by her side. That man won't let her breath, not to mention a few years ago he couldn't stand to be in the same room with her. How things change over time. I was in the living room with all my family when my phone buzzed. It was a text so I took a look at who it was; the name that popped up on the screen was Jacob. I smiled and opened the text.

**Where have you been missy? ;) – Jacob**

I quickly responded. **Didn't you hear? Mom had the baby; I have been with her this whole time. - Nessie**

**So what are you wearing? - Jacob **He asked. My jaw kind of dropped slightly. I didn't expect that question. I am guessing he was horny.

**Clothes. -Nessie **I answered. I giggled to myself and I had I few people look at me suspiciously.

"Rennie dinner will be soon, your grandma told me to tell all of you to get ready." Laycie smiled. I nodded simply and went to look at the phone again.

**Seriously be descriptive I know you're good at that ;-) – Jacob**

**A little more then you're used to ;-) – Nessie**

**Really? Well then you'll def have to come over so I could take them off. – Jacob **he responded so quick that I was shocked. Who knew getting fresh with Jacob would be so exciting.

**Can't have to spend time with family, you know how that gets. Maybe later when I go home? =] – Nessie**

**Definitely, you have no idea what I would do to you in the state I am in now. I would tear it up lovely. ;D – Jacob**

I couldn't help but smile like a fool. Just the idea of him inside me sent my body on a rush. I couldn't wait until later in the night. I don't know why but I could feel him in the pit of my stomach even though he wasn't.

**I'll talk to you later I have to go eat dinner k. – Nessie**

**Ok- Jacob**

I sighed. I went with the rest of the family and had dinner. The dinner was delicious, but anything Grandma makes is amazing. When I was helping grandma wash dishes my phone buzzed once more and I looked after I finished drying the dish and wiped my hands on the rag.

It was a picture message. I took a look at the pic and my jaw dropped. He took a picture of his dick and it made me a little nervous it was hard as fuck and it just made me want to stop what I was doing and go to his house. It was big and long and thick. The head had a bit of pre-cum coming off of it and made me want to just lick the head of it. I felt myself moisten between my legs and I was turned on even more at the thought. I bit my bottom lip slightly and I walked out of the room. I couldn't stop looking at it.

I couldn't stand it anymore I had to get over there right now and fuck his brains out. When I was about to leave I noticed everyone sitting in the living room. Mom was there with the baby. They were all cooing over little Rosemary. She was a cute little thing though cute like a button.

"Isn't she the cutest little thing? I can't believe you have three daughter now Edward." Laycie said as she was sitting next to my mom. Three daughters? My dad just had me, Brandon and Rosemary what is she talking about three daughters.

"Three?" I asked confused. Laycie looked up and I think my dad took that as a cue to say his response.

"Yes three, I found out recently that Samantha's my daughter." My dad said contently. Samantha's head turned around so quick and so did everyone else's. I guess everyone didn't know this one.

"Wait Edward you're my father?" Samantha asked confused. I think we were all a little confused as well. Since when were my father and Laycie intimate? "Mom explain!" Samantha crossed her arms.

"Well there was a time when Edward was separating from Bella and I was having problems with Steven your father Justin. I slept with Edward it was a mistake and I didn't say anything until now because Edward has always been head over heels in love with Bella. I didn't want to ruin that. Rennie that shouldn't be a reason for you to treat Samantha differently you have always treated her like a sister and that shouldn't change now." Laycie was right though. Samantha has always been like a sister to me and I wouldn't see her any different. "Why do you think you and Rennie look so much alike?"

I walked over to Samantha and hugged her. "I don't see you any different. I definitely see my father as an extreme slut now, but I don't see you any different Laycie." I added. Justin was the one to break the ice and he started laughing. He broke the tension in the room and everyone joined in with the laughing.

"I think I am going to go home now." I said.

"You know Brandon is coming today with his girlfriend. You sure you're not going to stick around a little longer?" my father asked. "I am pretty sure they're coming with Rose and Emmett."

I guess my plan to go be with Jacob was out the door, but damn it's Jacob. I finally did agree on staying though. My little brother was coming and I was getting used to the idea of seeing him again since I have been neglecting him recently. I used to spend a lot of time with him when I lived with my Aunt and Uncle in L.A. ever since I moved to NY I have hardly spoke to him or Miriam. It's only best that I stayed and hung out with them.

When my dad went to get Brandon at the airport Laycie decided on going to stay with my dad and mom so that Brandon could stay with me in my house. Did they know how much of a party house that would become. It had been calmed down because Laycie was there, but that was because Angel and Rodney were too chicken to drink hardcore and smoke weed. They pretty much stuck to drinking beer.

When Brandon got to the house he was with Miriam of course and my Aunt and Uncle, but they were also with some girl. She was very pretty tan skinned long black hair very curvy. She was really hot. I wondered who she was.

"Hey Ness." Brandon said and I gave him a hug. I missed my little brother. I then walked to Miriam and I hugged her as well.

"I missed you two." I smiled at them.

"Oh how rude of me Nessie. This is my sister Zafrina." she presented her sister.

"Nice to meet you I am Nessie." I smiled at Zafrina.

"I can't believe I am actually meeting Vanessa Swan. You are my role model. I want to go into modeling, but I don't know if I have what it takes to be a model." She ranted she sounded nervous, but she was too cute.

"If you want to be a model you have to keep on trying, it's a very competitive field. Make sure that when you do photo shoots and stuff that you don't pay anything. I actually got my start in Los Angele. I am pretty sure you'll be on the run way along with me one day. You're very beautiful." I complimented her, but it was true she was very beautiful.

"Thanks for the advice." She smiled at me.

"Actually if you are really interested in modeling I could talk to my manager and see if he can set something up, if not I could always talk to my boyfriend." I was looking forward to it. There aren't many girls I was interested in mentoring I could tell this girl was eighteen and she wanted to get started. I had a feeling I could help her.

"I really appreciate this, you are truly my idol now." I felt flattered by her treatment. I knew I had a lot of fans, but I didn't know I had people that loved me this much.

"Why Shortcake you run to give Brandon and Miriam a hug you forget about your favorite Uncle." Uncle Emmett was too funny and that's what I missed about him the most. I jumped in his arms and gripped my waist and spun me in a circle. I started laughing when he put me down I missed him.

"Hi Aunt Rose." I hugged her.

"You know I told you to stay in contact with me and you didn't do that." Aunt Rose scolded me, but she had a smile across her lips.

"I am sorry Rosie. I hardly have had the time. I hope you can forgive me?" I pouted and she smiled and nodded her head and directed me into another hug.

"Of course I can forgive you." She smiled and went to go talk with my grandmother and mother.

"Miriam why don't we go outside to talk." I nodded my head towards the door she nodded and I pulled Leah by the arm to join us. "Leah this is my little brothers girl friend Miriam, Miriam this is my best friend's wife Leah." I introduced them.

"Nice to meet you." Miriam said politely. Leah smiled at her.

"The same." Leah nodded.

"So I wanted to talk to you." Miriam crossed her arms.

I looked at her a little weird as to what she meant. I didn't know what she was trying to aim at. Hopefully I wasn't Jacob related. Knowing Miriam I might not be.

"About what?" I asked.

"I feel like you have been distant, we hardly talk anymore." She frowned and I felt bad. I missed my girls though they have both been there with me on separate occasions. Miriam went with me to all the doctor appointments and I went with Leah to all her appointments. I loved both these girls next to me. They were like my sisters.

"I know I am sorry and I say that to both of you really. I might not say this enough to either the both of you, but I love the two of you. You guys are my ride or die bitches for real and I am sorry for calling you two bitches it's meant in good taste." I laughed. They joined in shortly after.

"I don't really know you Miriam, but I have heard you're a good person. I am sure you love Nessie's dumb ass like I love her." Leah smiled. I couldn't help, but I had a smile on my face throughout the conversation.

"Trust me I wouldn't be here if I didn't love her." Miriam answered. "I am just mad you were with Taylor when you were obviously feeling my boy Jacob." Miriam answered honestly.

"Oh I definitely love her now. She also see's what I see. I am about to put you on blast Nessie." Leah looked at me. She turned to look at Miriam directly. "Ok there is something's I don't understand about Nessie, like she spends every day at a certain guy's house," she looked directly at my face when she said it. "I know she loves that certain guy." She air quoted the love part.

"How can I love someone who disrespects women?" I added as I crossed my arms and the smile disappeared. "And he is only thinking about sex I can't stand him." I pouted and Leah and Miriam laughed at my outburst.

"You love that man, any way let me finish Nessie. So yea she loves that guy, but yet she doesn't want to be with the man she loves and she is dating someone because of her career. I personally think she should be with the one she loves and note I didn't say any names." She winked at me and that made me laugh like Miriam didn't know who she was talking about.

"You might hate me Nessie, but I agree with Leah. I think you should be with Jacob. The whole time when you two were younger I could see how he stares at you with this intense passion. I don't know if it's still that way now." She looked at me directly when she said that. I knew with these two I wasn't going to win at all. They both double teamed against me. I knew they were both right though.

"I don't hate you guys. I hate that you two are so blunt but I don't hate you guys. I have to listen to certain advice sometimes so I won't end up screwed up." I smiled at them.

"Just listen to us and I am pretty sure you won't be so screwed up." Leah laughed. I shook my head. These girls were too funny.

"Leah I think I'll be screwed up even if I did have your advice." I laughed at that.

"Ha ha Nessie, seriously I think you should drop your pride a little because if you don't you'll be missing out on a really good guy." I think I didn't want to hear it anymore. "Don't tune me out young lady." Leah scolded me.

"Sorry mother." I laughed. "So when am I going to go to my little brother's wedding?" I asked Miriam. "I would like to be an auntie soon." I added.

"Well we are still very young and we haven't talked about marriage or kids yet. I know we will though. Just maybe no time soon we're not ready yet." I admired her for that. She had a plan something I never really did. Miriam was a good girl.

"I am proud of you." I smiled at her.

"Thanks Nessie, but I actually admire you. All the things you went through and you keep on going that something amazing to admire." I was flattered I swear I turned red.

"Awe I love you too Miriam." I hugged her.

I talked a little more with the girls before going home. We had an interesting conversation. I was finally out of the hot seat and that was a good thing. When I went home I was guessing Jacob was having a party cause there was loud music coming out of his house and just when I knew I was right outside comes this drunk guy and I could tell Jacob was kicking him out.

I have to admit I was a little upset that I wasn't invited to his party so what did I decide on doing. I was going to crash that shit. "Come on guys were going to a party." I smiled contently to myself. I was going to have fun with this one tonight. I was dressed casually with some skinny jeans, a plain black shirt that was for fitting and a pair of black ankle booties. I felt content with myself since my hair was straight. I had a minimal amount of make up on my face and I thought I was looking cute.

The guys followed me and so did the girls. I guess well I did have the keys to the house. Jacob had already gone back in the house and I am thinking he didn't see me. I slipped into the house and there was a bunch of people there. It was your average young adult party. People were dancing actually grinding on each other and drinking. It was a much laid back environment.

I walked around looking for the one person who I was interested in. the guys and the girls had went to get some free liquor. I walked through the halls of crowded people and made my way to the yard. Jacob was around the pool with his boys with a beer bottle in one hand and a cigarette in his mouth as he inhaled the smoke and blew out. One of the guys that was around him nodded towards me and he turned around to look at me. He put out the cigarette and walked towards me.

"What are you doing here?" he asked me. I still had that devilish grin on my face.

"Since when do you smoke?" I asked him.

"You didn't answer my question." He said seductively. He gently gripped my arm and I knew he wanted me to follow him. "Let's go somewhere a little more private." He suggested. I nodded my head and I followed him. We went up the stairs to his room.

"So you didn't answer my question Jakey." I played with his shirt.

"When you deal with as much stress as I do you tend to smoke one now and then." He admitted. That was comprehendible. "So what are you doing here?" he asked.

"Well I will admit I am a little upset I wasn't invited to your little shindig here. So I wouldn't be my normal self if I didn't crash your party." I said honestly.

He laughed and I knew he was going to say a smart remark back. "My bad, you were busy so that's why I thought. I haven't had your attention in awhile I needed some fun." He smirked. Not the response I expected from him.

"So another question, why did you send me that picture?" I asked curious.

"It was supposed to be motivation for you to come over quicker, but it seems it didn't work at all. I guess I am not important enough to you. So I decided on throwing a little party with some friends."

I sighed. "Jacob I do care about you, but I couldn't leave my brother came today. You have no idea what I felt as soon as I saw that picture. I wanted to run over here and rape you." I said and he licked his lips.

"Hmm really, why don't you show me?" he said seductively and that's when I bit down on my lower lip. He was starting to turn me on.

I kissed him and he wasn't shy to it at all. His lips were soft and I could taste the nicotine and beer on his tongue. It wasn't a bad combination it meshed with his natural manly scent. His hands gripped my hips and they slowly moved to my ass he squeezed and I moaned in his mouth.

I wanted him so badly right now. I started to unbutton his dress shirt and he let me. I never stopped kissing him though. He pushed us slowly towards his bed. I fell flat on my back and he was on top of me. I helped him out of his shirt and he stopped kissing me and raised my shirt and kissed my stomach as he continued to kiss up. He had a bit of peach fuzz and the newly growing hair was tickling me.

He took my shirt off and went for my breast. He kissed the tops he then lowered it down and took my nipple in his mouth. He licked around in a circular motion first and then sucked down on it lightly.

I moaned and then bit down on my lip to try to control some of my excitement. I was really turned on right now and I wanted a lot more from him. My clit was aching and throbbing for how badly I wanted him.

"Jake I want you so bad right now." He looked up at me and I think he got the hint, but since he likes to mess with me he had to say something.

"How badly do you want me?" he asked as he went to my jeans but kissed my stomach again and sent kisses lower as he went.

"I want you really bad poppa." I said as I moaned again.

"As you wish mama." He said as he unbuttoned my jeans and lowered my jeans. When he took them off he left me in my black silk thong I was wearing. He tried to stifle a moan when he saw me. "You know you look really sexy on my bed." He said as he kissed my bare thigh now. I tried to hold back a hiss that wanted to escape.

He continued as he was. I couldn't help what I was feeling at the moment the dire want that I had for him. I slowly moved lower and grabbed a hold of his chin I wanted to kiss him with all the raw passion I had for him. I couldn't believe I was leaving soon though. The twin's birthday was nearing and after that I would be going back to New York to live my life.

I wanted him now and to just savor the moment. When my lips were on his it ignited a certain passion that I couldn't explain. I could finally admit that my body was calling for him to have that skin on skin contact for him to be inside of me. I couldn't control myself anymore as the lust was blinding me and started taking over like a drug. I didn't feel like myself and I knew that my carnal desires were just waiting to come out and attack the pray that was this beautiful man.

I couldn't take it anymore I pushed him off me and finished undressing him. My lips found his hot manhood. I knew his blood had to be rushing to that anatomy of his body. When I took him in my mouth and felt the salty sensation that was 100% Jacob. I swirled my tongue around to further get a taste. He through his head back the way he normally does when I give him oral.

He gripped my head lightly to guide me up and down his shaft. Not like I needed it. I took my hand and stroked him, with that his breathing became heavy and he pressed his lips together in a line. This man was gorgeous and I was willing to do anything for him. I just hope I have the strength to change everything and make everything go fine.

"I can't take this anymore." He moaned and picked me up by the waist and lowered me onto him. I hissed as I landed with a smack. I felt him as if he were in my stomach. I rocked myself back and forth and made sure I could feel him deep inside me. Jacob bit his lip and I wanted his lips on mines. I enveloped us in an aggressive erotic kiss. I grabbed one of his hands that was on my hips and placed it on my breast.

He squeezed it and played with my nipple as he ran his fingers gently over the swollen buds. I worked my hips so that I worked on a perfect rhythm. I started breathing hard and I was starting to sweat which I knew would make the edges of my hair curly. I went harder as I worked my hips and thighs in a circular motion. Jacob was enjoying everything I could tell because he squeezed harder on my breast and he threw his head back.

There was a knock on the door and I tried to ignore it as much as I could since I was in pure blissful lust right now. My desire was only growing as I needed to get a release right now. The knocking became louder.

"Jake! Man you need to come out here!"One of his boys yelled. Then you could hear some glass breaking.

"I am sorry about this mama." He whispered to me and kissed my forehead. He pulled me off him gently and placed me on his bed. "I am pretty sure someone is having a drunken fight downstairs. I better go check this out before they fuck up my house." He said as he put his boxers on. "I am pissed they had to ruin our moment. You know I'll make this up to you. Maybe we could go out sometime and not even make it about sex." He continued to talk as he put on his pants now. I smiled at him and got up and started getting dressed as well.

"You know what Jake, I like that idea." I walked over to him and kissed him on the lips.

"Please don't temp me anymore. If you continue I won't go deal with the mess that's going on downstairs." He kissed me sweetly as he now put his shirt on.

"I am sorry. I love you." I mumbled the last part. He turned his head to look at me.

"What did you say?" he asked.

"Nothing." I shook that out of my head. He finished buttoning up his shirt and went out the door. I sighed and continued to get dressed. When I was done I went out to look at what happened.

Jake was right though. There was a huge brawl downstairs and they took it out to the front lawn. I could hear Jake cursing someone out and telling them to go. I went to see who it was and it wasn't someone I recognized. I then saw a familiar face following the guy. It was one of the Barbie sluts from high school. I tried to remember her name she looked a little differently.

Her name finally came to my mind even though it wasn't important at all. It was Jenifer I hated those girls in high school and I still hate them. She looked back and I caught a complete glimpse of her face. I think her jaw dropped when she saw me, not like it was important but I couldn't help but smile.

So that's what I did smile. I got a tap on my shoulder, I turned around to see who it was and it was my brother.

"Nessie, Miriam is tired so we just want to go to sleep. Plus I think your boys Angel and Rodney are done for the night as well." He said politely. That's what I have always loved about Rodney he is the complete opposite of me.

"Yea sure, but wait I gave Angel a copy of the keys in case he wanted to come home whenever he wanted. Whatever knowing him he forgot them in the house. Here take the keys." I handed him the keys to the house.

"Night Nessie." Miriam smiled and gave me a hug. I hugged her back and her and my brother was off.

Jake came back after he finished cursing out the guys that broke his glass table. He walked over to me and smiled. I smiled back. I never really just stood and tool to admire him. He wasn't just gorgeous his looks went on another level.

"Yea sorry about that, two fucking idiots wanted to get piss drunk and break my fucking table. Not to mention they started brawling. I swear no crazy parties for awhile." He admitted. I couldn't help it I laughed while he ranted on. "Why are you laughing at me?" he asked and that just made me laugh even more.

"You're cute when you rant. Plus I love how you can solve problems. I love a man with some authority." I said and I suddenly felt a bit foolish for it so I looked down to cover my blush.

"I'll be your authority anytime you want me to be." I looked up slightly and he winked at me. "Well the party is over and I kicked everyone out. You should stay tonight." He offered and I knew that was a bad idea. I just shook my head no.

"I don't think that's a good idea Jake, I am just going to head home. I am kind of tired." It was the truth I was a little tired, but Jake had a lot to do with that, Even though I would have wanted some more action from him. I was a little surprised his little girlfriend wasn't around, but I didn't dare question it in case she decided to pop out of nowhere.

"Alright I guess I'll see you tomorrow at the twins birthday." I nodded at him and went for my house. I had a smile on my face and it was because I loved to be with Jacob. He always made me happy and he didn't need to say words to have that effect on me.

That night I fell asleep with a smile on my face. I couldn't understand where my happiness was coming from. I had spent so long trying to convince myself that I was no good for Jacob. He deserved a million times better than me. Vanessa surely didn't deserve him. Now that I see it clearer I see that I want to be with Jacob. I just don't know how I am going to set my priorities straight.

I was awoken the next morning super early by Leah and everyone else. They were going to set up for the twin's birthday. Leah had family coming from Makah rez and I knew this was very important to her. This was a big event, it wasn't only the twin's birthday it was also a reunion for her. I helped of course by helping in the kitchen. I didn't do much because most of the time I was picking at the food.

"Nessie stop picking at the food." Leah slapped my hand and took one of the plates away. "I swear if I didn't know any better I would think you're pregnant." I scoffed at her accusation. That was impossible to happen at this moment. I couldn't have another kid I was in the prime of my career and I needed to focus on that.

"Ugh don't jinx me please."I shook my head. She laughed and went back to setting platters. Grandma arrived shortly after and had Uncle Emmett helping her with this gorgeous three tire cake. It was gorgeous it had different shades of blue and greens and matched the setup that was the theme of the party.

"Nessie Alice is going to be over soon and you know she is going to say something about your outfit." Grandma said as she eyed me. I was wearing jeans in a tee. I wanted to be comfortable but grandma was right. Alice would go crazy if she saw what I was wearing.

I didn't feel like being glamed up that what I do when I am at work. I just wanted to be comfortable and relaxed, but grandma was right.

"Yea I know." I sighed. "I just don't feel like dressing up though, I just want to be comfortable." I didn't have to say another word because Alice came storming in like she was a mad woman.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen, you will obey me and you'll like it." I didn't need to say another word because she was now dragging me up the stairs to my room and she sat me down on the edge of the bed as she went into my closet that was minimally stocked with clothes she chose. She was my wardrobe consultant even in my career she didn't trust anyone else. The only time she wasn't there was some of the time when she was pregnant with Alexander and even then it was during her last months. I was always a little scared of her in that aspect.

"Alice please can't I just wear casual clothes today." I don't know why I said that because she eyed me dangerously. Frankly I was afraid of her. She pulled out a blue cocktail dress and handed it to me. It had a pleated skirt dress, it was strapless, it had plenty of pleat details on the skirt, and in Alice taste it was short.

"You will wear this and you will love it. Come on take those clothes off." she said with her bossy tone. I took the clothes off and she handed me a strapless bra. "I'll be right outside Ren. It shouldn't take you more than two minutes to put it on." She was right and she walked out of the room.

I put the dress on, but then when it got to the zipper and zipping it I couldn't. So I had to call Alice back in the room to assist me. "Alice can you come in here." She did come back in.

She gripped the back of the zippers and tried to zip it up, but just like me no luck. "Renesmee did you gain weight? This dress is your size it should fit you perfectly without you having to suck it in. I am guessing that is what you have to do now. Suck it in Renesmee." I did as she told me and held my breath. She zipped it up with a little struggle but she did zip it up. It was tight but was form fitting from the top.

"Feels a little snug." I said as I looked at myself in the mirror. "I don't think I have gained weight, but then again I have been eating a lot lately guess I have to work out again." She eyed me curiously and handed me a pair of five inch blue stilettos. I put them on and she made me sit at the mirror and she began to do something with my hair. She was nowhere near a makeup or hair stylist, but she was still good.

She pinned my hair in a bun it was an up do but still very elegant. She did natural makeup a little eyeliner and a light red lipstick. I felt like I was going to work all over again even though this was a family event.

"There doesn't that look better then what you were wearing?" she boasted and I rolled my eyes. "Don't get sassy with me Renesmee you know its love." I knew that was how Alice showed her love and it was tuff.

Finally the party started and tons of people showed up. I was a little antsy because Jacob hadn't arrived yet. I didn't like the idea Vanessa was coming with him to my house, but I did want to see him. I felt like today was going to be a turning point.

After socializing with people another while Jacob finally did get there. The only reason I noticed was because Samantha bumped me and told me to look. Jake looked suave and he cleaned up real good. I looked at his slut of a girlfriend. She was wearing a short one sleeved white dress with sequins. She looked like a cheap hooker at that. I rolled my eyes.

"Ness don't be tense it isn't worth it. You know that it shouldn't affect you." Miriam whispered to me so she could calm me down a bit. It didn't work though because I knew I didn't like her and I was the other woman.

I tried not to get mad and I tried to enjoy the birthday. It finally got to be the time to cut the birthday cake. Both Jayden and Jonathan blew out the candles of their cake after everyone sang happy birthday to them. I had never in my life seen such a mix of people together a bunch of tan skinned people with pale people. It was ironic to me, but they all seemed to enjoy being with each other. It was all for the twin's birthday.

I started helping hand out cake slices. I walked over to where Jacob was so I could give him a slice of cake and her as well. I rolled my eyes when I walked over there. "Here Jacob for you and her." I gave Vanessa a fake smile as I handed him one of the plates.

"No thanks I am on a diet. I can tell that cake is full of carbohydrates." She sneered. "I still can't believe you made me come here Jacob." She rolled her eyes. That pissed me off because I knew she was trying to act out. I never wanted her to come in the first place.

"Excuse me." I said with attitude and I could feel my anger rising. "You can leave if you want." I said it with a lot more attitude. I didn't like that she was here not wanting to. I know she came to piss me off and prove that Jacob was all hers when he wasn't at all. Jacob was mines.

"Bitch if you want you can leave us alone. I was talking to my boyfriend." That sent me over the edge even more. Everyone looked at her like why the fuck you just say that. I definitely knew how to defend myself. I would show her that she didn't have to be here and I would give her a reason to leave. My nostrils flared I had the other slice of cake in my hand and I threw it in her face. She definitely just ate some cake now.

I came and I grabbed her by her hair and punched her face. She pissed me off and I had tons of reasons to beat her ass and Jacob did give me the ok to whip her ass if she got out of line.

"Bitch don't fucking disrespect me in my house!" I yelled at her and she was yelling from the pain. Everyone looked at me like damn when I finally let her go. I was surprised to see no one pulled me off of her.

"Jacob! Are you going to let her do that to me!" she screamed as she whipped some blood off her lip. "Jacob let's go now." She looked at him directly. The face he had on was priceless his jaw was dropped and he had a shocked look on. What he said next is what got me.

"No I am staying." He said bluntly. She looked at him shocked like he was supposed to follow her like a love sick puppy.

"What? If you don't come with me, we are over." She said it seriously and Jacob shook his head.

"Well then we're over." He said it like it was nothing she looked shocked and I was happy they just ended it. She was pissed she stormed out mad and I was content.

The party continued as if nothing had happened. I was even happier now. I felt like a huge weight had left. I swear I felt like I was glowing. I enjoyed myself at the party and I actually had a good time.

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**OK Now tell me what you think?**

**Did you love that Jacob is no longer with Vanessa?**

**You have to love that Leah and Miriam are awesome because they tell Nessie what it is. **

**Oh another short thing before you review. I am thinking about writing outtakes for Do you think of me? and Love or Desire. Those outtakes would be in Leah and Justin's POV and I was also thinking about doing some Edward and Bella outtakes as well. Let me know what you think, the outtakes take place before and after Do you think of me? and maybe after Love or desire. That's the plan anyhow. If you like that idea would you read them?**

**I will probably work on that after Love or Desire is done so let me know what you think about that and would you read, I'll probably give more details about that later. So yea review what you think Tell me what you think of this Chapter and about the Outtakes. So you know feed my ego faster chapters lol. Have to admit this one came out faster then normally. So yea review and add me to your favs... =] ^-^[=  
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	10. Ch9 Think First

**A/N: I want to say first off that I would've updated earlier and I am sorry that I didn't just 4th of July weekend was crazy. I saw Eclipse and I wasn't the only one screaming in the theater. I was mad that my best friend fell asleep during the movie, but he isn't really a fan of Twilight he felt robbed of his manhood, but he did agree to go see it and I didn't force him too. Oh as well this story hit the 100 reviews last chapter and that was amazing. Please keep up with showing the love. I will probably give you some little treats when I hit the 150 review mark. Check out some of the goodies I have for you on my profile. =]  
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**About this Chapter: This Chapter has a lot of things and topics hit. I don't know how you guys are going to react to it. Hopefully I get some Positive have Jacob, Edward, Josue, and Justin in this Chapter all on different levels. **

**Disclaimer: SM owns the awesome Twilight series and I wouldn't be able to play in her world or characters if she didn't create them.  
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Chapter 9: Think first.

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**Nessie**

I was back home in New York. Angel stayed in Washington longer so he could stay in my house without a problem as long as he stayed out of my room. That was the only rule. I was a bit in a deplorable state. I have never felt so miserable in my life. I was at another photo shoot and I didn't want to be here.

I guess all I wanted was to be with Jacob in his arms again. I never realized how much I missed him now that he is gone. He is officially single and I am still with Josue not that I don't care about Josue just that I am not in love with him at all.

"Nessie are you ok?" Marisol my makeup artist asked me as she was applying a different set of makeup on. I was zoned out a little bit so when I realized she was taking to me it took me awhile to respond.

"Umm yea I am fine just a little tired." I lied I know it, but sue me who else wouldn't in my predicament.

"Awe do you want an energy drink?" she asked me and I shook my head no. When she finished my makeup I was off to the photo shoot room. I was doing a couple glamour shots. I wasn't really in the mood to take photos to be honest I was kind of out of it.

"Nessie if you continue you're going to mess up the spread." Antonio the photographer I was working with said. I sighed before I spoke I definitely needed a break.

"Can I take a five, seriously I just need a little air." I admitted truthfully. Antonio nodded and I walked out to the nearest exit. I inhaled some of the semi-clean air. It was a crisp day it's still April. I didn't know what was going on with me I normally didn't go through this, but my mind was cluttered with so many thoughts that it was hard to even work with something else.

I was joined by Ron Dylan and he handed me a much needed bottle of water. I didn't smoke anymore so I didn't realize how much I could use a cigarette right now. Of course Ron Dylan was going to smoke one. Instead of falling in temptation I just chugged at the water.

"Something is bothering you huh?" he looked at me as he went and took a pull from the cigarette. I nodded my head and took another swig of water. "You shouldn't let it stress you out this much. Whatever it is I am sure you will solve it." He said encouragingly.

"I wish it were that simple. I am trying to figure out how I am going to solve this problem, but it's only leaving me bitter and stressed. I thought that being on vacation would have cleansed me, but it only stressed me out further." I said without adding details to the true problem. I didn't confide in Ron Dylan enough to tell him my problems. You just can't talk to anyone now a day.

"I can tell what is eating at you is a love situation. Don't tell me things in paradise aren't good. You have Josue Cartier as your man candy and you don't even begin to explain what's wrong." He thought I was having problems with Josue that wasn't even the case. I was good with Josue. Things were calm between us.

"Nothing is wrong between me and Josue, things are actually good. I am just in a stressful mine state because of some events that happened while I was in Washington. I guess I'll deal with those later though. I think I am ready to go back inside. I just needed a little air." I know I lied. I would have to deal with the killer feelings I had for Jacob sooner or later. I couldn't ignore those feelings any longer.

I walked back into the room and Antonio put a smile back on his face. I finally got over with the photo shoot and I got a phone call afterwards. I answered it a little startled because it was Jacob's office in New York. Normally I get a call from Reni if it was a deal.

"Hello?" I answered a little hesitant.

"_Hello Ms. Cullen, it's me Kimberly Mr. Black wanted me to call you and tell you the news. He has spoken to your manger Mr. Fasheer and you have a meeting with Mr. Black tomorrow at eight am. Mr. Black said please don't be late this is important."_ Kimberly gave the news swiftly and efficiently. I just prayed to god Jacob didn't fuck her, because I saw her she was a pretty piece of ass.

If Jacob wanted to see me and he was in New York. I wondered why in hell didn't he call me personally and tell me he was here. He has to make shit complicated and he is spontaneous like that. I grabbed my phone and looked up his number and pressed talk. It rang a few times before he answered. I could just picture him now with a huge smile on his face.

"_Hello baby."_ He answered overly jolly. That just meant that he was alone and he was in a good mood, but all in all he meant it.

"Umm why didn't you call me personally to tell me you were in New York? It's only been a week I've been gone." I said as I sat down on the sofa in my living room.

"_Who said I was in New York?" _I bet he had a cocky smile on and I would want to smack it off.

"Don't act smart with me Jacob. Kimberly called me and told me you wanted to see me tomorrow. From that I am guessing you are in New York honey." I added the honey because I knew it would make him and I smile. He chuckled a bit.

"_Yea I guess that kind of gave me away, but seriously I needed to see you before I leave."_ He said and my face dropped. What did he mean before he leaves? I was a little confused by that.

"What do you mean before you leave? If you're here can you at least stop by my place so we can talk in person? I hate having to talk over the phone with you." I had to be completely honest with him. I like to get bad news in person even though it isn't the best to do.

"_Alright I'll be there soon. I just got out from JFK. I told Kimberly to call you, but I didn't want to see you until tomorrow. We might as well talk today and we can spend tomorrow together."_ He was being sweet. I liked that.

"Ok I'll see you soon. I love you Jake." Before he could respond I hung up. I don't know why I couldn't say it completely to him when I have told him a million times that I love him. I have no idea why it was so hard. I estimated an hour before he got to my place. That was just including traffic. Traffic in Manhattan is horrible.

I knew that I missed him and I needed him. I went in my room and took off my clothes leaving me in a bra and panties. They were a shade of royal blue silk and matched. They were from Victoria Secret; I thought I should look good for him when he came. Not like he cared much Jacob liked me in pretty much anything.

I put on a silk robe to cover myself some, but to show plenty of leg. I took my hair out of the tie I put it in previously and shook it loose. I had let my hair curly something I hadn't done in awhile, but I had extensions in my hair. The curls fell just above my waist. When the bell rang I was excited I opened the robe slightly to show a little cleavage.

I peeked through the peep hole first and it was Jacob. When I opened the door I looked at Jacob and he had a suit on like if he were on business. I smiled and opened the door even more so he could see my slender form as I poked my hip out to show my curves more. Jacob gawked at me with his shocked expression.

He ran his fingers over his eyes and touched the bridge of his nose. I was a bit shocked by the new expression. He came inside of my apartment and closed the door behind him.

"I want to seriously talk to you and if you're dressed like that I take it as you don't take me serious." He had a stone poker face on so I knew he meant business. My expression dropped from joyous. I toned down and took a business demeanor like he took.

"Sure we can be professional." I added with a roll of my eyes and sat on the couch and crossed my legs and covered myself by crossing my arms over my chest.

"I never said I wanted to be professional with you Ness." He said as he gripped my chin so I could look at him. He let go, but my gaze still stayed on him. He sighed and I guess he really didn't know what to say. "Our relationship is only about sex, I am tired of it. You tell me that you love me and all, but you don't show me that you want me more than that. Sometimes I think you just want me for sex and it isn't even about love it's just some sick desire for you. I can get sex from any other girl out there, but I truly love you and I don't want it to be one sided." He admitted. I just sat there I didn't know he took my feelings differently.

"So then go and find one of them. If you think I just want you for sex you're very wrong." I crossed my arms again over my chest and look away from him.

"Do you hear yourself? Do you see what you're wearing? It doesn't take two and two to see what you were assuming I was coming over for." He eyed me trying to enlighten me.

"Well you were the one who said you were leaving soon. Where are you going?" I asked.

"Just because I am leaving doesn't mean I just want you for sex. I want more than that. I see you as a woman who could be my wife, but if I don't see more progress then I don't know how we can establish something. What happened to the girl who I fell in love with? The girl who showed me her sweet, fragile side? This woman I see right now is completely sex crazed. I miss my old Nessie." His words hit me hard and they hit my pride with extreme intensity.

"I know you must think horrible of me." I looked at the floor with a shame that had washed over me. "I haven't let my true feelings show for you. I think something is seriously wrong with me. I think I love you on a sick obsessive level." I shook my head before I continued. "I can't stop thinking about you. My mind is in a constant tug of war trying to choose on how I am going to proceed with my life. I don't think it's healthy for me. I feel myself not able to function correctly." I admitted honestly something I haven't said aloud to anyone.

"I don't think you love me on an obsessive level. You certainly don't show it at all if you do. You had me in the dark and I was thinking you didn't care about me. You showed me a cold side and I thought you didn't care at all." He said in a spur. I couldn't help but smile. He was cute when he got technical. I ran my finger over his lips touching the top one to the bottom one. He kissed my finger tip. "Please don't start. You're lucky I am not ripping that robe off you." I smiled contently.

"I am glad you're willing too, I have had one thing on my mind though." I said as I furrowed my eyebrows. It had been something that had been bothering me the past week. He was now finally single while I obviously still had a man who I claimed.

"What is that?" he asked alarmed at my new expression. I looked at the far wall by where my flat screen hung on the wall a couple feet next to it stood a drawing that I had drawn oh so many years ago and held a significant matter to me. I ignored the question and didn't proceed with answering. I got up and walked toward the wine red wall and took the medium sized frame off the wall. Jacob looked at me with a strange expression on his face.

I walked back over to the couch with the drawing that was framed. It was the first drawing I had ever drawn when I first moved to Forks with my mother. The first week I met Jacob Black, the first time I drew him unconsciously. I admired the drawing once more before I showed it to Jacob. I ran my fingers over the glass as I admired the sketch that meant nothing to me oh so many years ago.

I looked over the scene of trees, the moon, stars and plant life. I hadn't painted, drawn, or sketched ever since I broke up with Jacob in December of 2009. I looked at the dark figure that was one of a kind and showed a young Jacob. I handed the frame over to Jacob and he looked at it. I never showed him it even when we were dating back then. It was like a secret sketch. I was finally sharing it with Jacob and I didn't know what his reaction would be.

"You drew me?" he asked. I know I went off topic with what we were discussing earlier, but I wanted things to go back when he was my muse. He was my inspiration on so many things. I don't think I could do without him now.

"Yea I drew that when I first moved to Forks. The same day I met you. When I first knew that I would love you forever." I smiled and tears fell from my eyes. I never knew that I would end up falling in love with the one guy who was trying to get in my pants the first day he met me. Not that he was the first to try either, but I knew that he was the one for me.

"How come you never showed me this before?" he asked with a small puzzled look on his face.

"It's the only thing I have kept from the beginning." I admitted honestly. I looked away as I felt a bit sheepish now. I have never felt nervous with Jacob he has always have been one of my comfort zones. "Enough of me getting sappy, I might cry." I said as I sniffled a bit and got up from the couch again. "How about I make dinner?" I asked him. I wanted him to stay even though he hasn't told me much of when he's leaving.

"Sure. I haven't had you cook for me in a long time." he smiled. I walked over to my room and through on some pink sweat pants and a black tank top. I slipped my feet into some house shoes. The chances of getting some today looked slim and I also did want Jake to see me differently and show him that I generally cared for him and I didn't only want him for sex.

I put my hair in a bun and went back over to where I left him. He looked comfortable as he had removed his blazer and rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt. I smiled as I leaned against the frame that led to the back rooms. He looked up and he noticed me with a jaunty look on his face.

"So what did you have in mind for dinner?" he asked as he got up from the couch and wrapped his arms around my waist. Having him so close sent my heart fluttering and I could feel my heart beat begin to race. I suddenly closed the rest of the distance by wrapping my arms around him. I inhaled his scent and he smelled of cologne and his manly scent.

He snuggled his nose against my cheek as he just held me. "I was thinking of eating tons of carbs." I giggled and I knew I would be eating everything I normally don't eat. I let go of his neck and walked over to the kitchen. He followed me and sat down on a bar stool. "You know I've lived here for a couple months now and I never used this kitchen." I admitted honestly as I started to look through cabinets to see exactly where I had things.

"Are you serious?" I looked at him and he raised his eyebrow. I knew he wanted to laugh, but he didn't.

"I had some groceries sent, I was getting used to eating homemade food so that means I am going to try to cook as much as I can in between." I went back and looked in the fridge and got some chicken cutlets out of the freezer and some vegetables from the fridge. I was going to try and make some stir-fry and rice.

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Jacob**

I watched her as she moved about the kitchen. I have never seen someone look so beautiful while doing a simple task such as cooking. I watched as her hips swayed and she put her finger to her chin to remember where something was in the kitchen. Even dressed down she looked amazing.

I haven't quite told her that I was leaving to do some business in Europe. I told her I was leaving I just didn't tell her when, where and how long. I knew she would get upset as to the result. I was going to spend almost seven months in Europe establishing some markets in which to start selling my cars in Europe and some parts of Asia. It was a really big deal to me because I would be branching out globally and it meant a lot to me.

She popped something into her mouth and I think she did it so I wouldn't notice. "What are you eating?" I asked teasingly as I got up and walked to her side.

"Nuffing." She said with her mouth full. She had a little black crumb on her lip so I assumed she was hiding Oreos from me.

"Are you eating Oreos? And you didn't offer me any?" I put on a fake hurt expression and she laughed. "Aren't you spoiling your dinner though?" I tickled her stomach slightly and she giggled.

"I know I am, but I couldn't pass up the temptation every time I open the cupboard." She said as she opened the cabinet once more and popped another cookie in her mouth. I took the tray of cookies and brought them over to Kitchen Island. She looked at me suspiciously as I got the tray out a little bit and took about three Oreos from the tray.

I took the first one and split it in half. She still watched me. I started getting a little scared of her like she didn't want me to touch her cookies at all. I ate the cream filling inside and then at the cookie.

"Jacob no offense you're lucky I gave you one." She took the other two cookies I had in my hand and took the tray from in front of me. My jaw dropped.

"What the heck? You won't even share a cookie with me? You're baby?" I raised my eyebrow and she put a cookie between her lips.

"Here" She said as she got closer to my lips. I took the cookie between my lips and began to chew on it, but before that I gave her a quick peck on the lips.

"Thanks, I like the way you gave me that cookie mama." She blushed and went back to the stove.

"So you didn't answer my question earlier Jacob." She said as she stirred the contents of one of the skillets. "So where are you going?"

"Oh that, I am going to Europe on business. I got the opportunity to branch out globally and I personally think that is a huge accomplishment. I will be over there until November. I probably won't see you until then. Now please don't get upset about this because I love you I had to be considerate about how I was going to approach you." I said a bit nervous to her reaction. She turned around really quick and the pan fell on her leg. She screamed out because I can only imagine how hot the contents were.

I ran to her as fast as I could and got her away from the mess. She was screaming and her leg was red. I picked her up and the only thing I could think of was running cold water over it. I took her towards the bathroom and literally ripped her pants off. I think that was the fastest I have ever got her out of her pants.

I ran the cold water and placed her delicate leg under the running shower spray. I was freaking out because I prayed nothing bad happened to her because I wouldn't be able to forgive myself for it. She wrapped her hands around my neck and squeezed tight. I knew it must be burning like a bitch, but I would be here for her.

"I am so sorry; I didn't want you to injure yourself. If something happened to you I wouldn't be able to forgive myself." I continued to douse her leg in the freezing water.

"It feels better I just hope it doesn't swell up. I am mad that you didn't tell me in the first place. Jake seven months is a long time. Now that I have you in my life again I don't think I can deal that long without seeing you." I could feel her sobbing on the collar of my shirt.

"Nessie seven months isn't that long and I promise I'll stay in constant contact with you. I'll text you, call you, email you, video call you. Whatever I have to do just to stay in contact with you." I kissed the side of her face to reassure her.

"Jake it's not the same though. I won't have you to hold me, touch me, and kiss me. I may not say this enough but I love you." She looked up at me with her sparkling eyes. I couldn't help but want to kiss her lips. Her lips had never looked more appetizing to me before. I took her lips with mines the suckling pink skin. I sucked on her top lip slightly as she sucked on my bottom.

"I have to make sure you're ok. I have to take you to the hospital." I had to make sure that the burn wasn't serious. I wouldn't forgive myself if the burn got worse. She shook her head no. I wanted to make sure she was ok.

"I don't want to go to the hospital I don't think it's that bad, plus you got to me so fast that it didn't burn that much." She tried to make it seem like it wasn't that big a deal, but to me it was because I didn't want it to get worse.

"Do you have anything for burns?" I asked a little curiously. She looked at me a little strangely and in Nessie talk it was a simple no. I turned the water off and on top of the sink there was a tube of toothpaste. I remembered when I was younger and I would burn myself, because I was playing with matches my mom used to put a little toothpaste on it and it would cool the skin. I took the tube of toothpaste and put a little on my finger.

"What are you doing?" she asked a little scared as to what I was going to do. I ignored her request and took the toothpaste and ran it on the burnt part of her leg. She was tense at first, but then relaxed. I am guessing she felt the cool feel of the mint on her skin.

"Don't worry it's going to cool the skin so it won't feel so hot. I am so sorry this had to happen. I seriously didn't want you to get upset about me travelling." I knew I caused this to happen. If I didn't tell Nessie I was leaving for seven months she would have been relaxed and I wouldn't feel horrible about it. It kills me to know she is hurt because of me.

"Don't blame yourself for it. I inherited my mother's clumsiness. Uncle Emmet cracks on her all the time because she is danger prone. I am the same way." She smiled at me and that made me relax a bit. I picked her up and brought her to her room.

I laid her out on her bed and lay down next to her. I wrapped my arms around her and snuggled the side of her face. She just relaxed next to me and molded into my side. I felt at home and I felt like I could have her like this for the rest of my life and it wouldn't matter because I was with her.

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Nessie**

Several months had passed and Jacob had left. The day after he told me he was leaving and I nearly burnt my leg off was calmed. We stayed in bed all day and watched movies. I knew we were trying to keep our hands off each other and try a new approach. Josue was back and that didn't appeal to me much. We would do our regular dating and Josue used his romantic approaches that did leave me red in the face.

I also did feel very guilty, I was with Josue my boyfriend yet I only thought about Jacob. It was literally my birthday today and Josue was taking me out. He said it was a surprise and I wondered what he had in store for me. He blind folded me. I knew it was something big. We were on a plane early and I wondered what in the world he was planning.

When the plane came to a stop I knew we were on the plane for a couple of hours. Exactly it was seven hours. Josue let me take my blind fold off, but he wouldn't let me know where we were going. He said it was a surprise and I would know soon. The jet was fancy, Josue had got a new private jet and we were testing it out. An hour before we arrived to the destination, Josue made me put the blind fold on again. I was a little anxious to know where we were going exactly.

When the jet finally made a stop and my ears finished popping Josue grabbed me by the hand. I took his warmth as a guide and couldn't stop smiling.

"You still can't take the blindfold off mon amour. We are almost to where I want to take you. Just trust me." he whispered in my ear. Where we were now smelled different, I definitely knew we weren't anywhere near the USA.

After being in the car for another 30 minutes he finally guided me out of the car and then placed his hands on my hips. He brushed my hair off my shoulder and removed the blindfold. What I saw next was a complete and utter shock to me. We were right in front of the Eiffel tower and it was night time so you could see the Paris streets lit up. I admired it; it was even more beautiful than New York City. Josue handed me a dozen red roses and I couldn't help, but let myself cry. He was amazing so sweet and caring, I would never deserve him because I couldn't return the feelings.

The next words that came out of his mouth next would be burned in my head for the rest of my life. He got on his knee and took my hand in his and kissed it slowly.

"Renesmee I love you. Je t'aime plus que ma vie." He said as his eyes sparkled under the glowing lights of the night. I was shocked this was the first time ever that Josue said he loved me and for him to do it in Paris, France on my birthday meant it was so much more special.

I was at an extreme loss of words. There was no way I could possibly say those three little words back to him. I didn't love him. I had love for him and I was in extreme like of him, but I wasn't in love with him and that's what killed me the most. I was still in love with Jacob Black. Josue Cartier just made the guilt hit me extremely hard just now. I couldn't hold the tears back they came hard and streaming.

Josue was quick to hold me and I cried on his shoulder. My tears represented many things. They represented fear, guilt, agony, and pain, they did flow as of tears of joy but that wasn't it at all. My conscience started eating at me with hot raw passion that my throat started burning toughly as I tried to swallow. I started feeling myself with a shortness of breath and by every second it was becoming harder for me to breathe.

I tried but I just started to hyperventilate, I was in complete utter shock. Josue did the best he could as he got me some water so I could calm down. His gestures just added more to my guilty conscience. How could I have someone who was so amazing? Yet I didn't deserve him or Jake. I was in a never ending battle and I had a feeling I would be hurting too many people to count for it.

After I calmed down Josue pulled me into his lap and ran his fingers through my hair caressing me. I couldn't stand it. I took his hand in mines and looked up at him. "I am sorry for acting like that. I was just really surprised." I shook my head. My head was hurting because of all the crying I just did.

"Are you sure you ok? I feel like there is more to what you want to say." He frowned slightly. I knew he was waiting for me to say the words back, but there was no way of them leaving my lips. I knew if I said them they would be lies. Is it better to lie to protect who you love?

It was as if my life was hanging by a thread and I had the weight of the world on my shoulders. I might be exaggerating, but that's how I felt. I had the devil on one of my shoulders telling me be selfish and keep them both. On the other shoulder was an angel telling me follow your heart, you know it belongs to Jacob. I had this inner battle for another 3 months.

It was December and I got some more off time. Something I haven't really enjoyed in awhile. I normally worked through the holidays. I grabbed my bags at baggage claim. I had on a sweater with the hood over my head. It was accompanied with black glasses. I had to keep a low profile. I felt like I blend in with the people in the airport.

When I got my bags my father was waiting for me. My father's years were catching up with him. He had newly found grey hairs on the side of his side burns and on the edges of his hair. He had bags and a couple of laugh lines that surrounded his mouth. I never noticed that my dad was completely aging.

I hugged him and he grabbed one of my bags and placed them in the truck of his Volvo. When he put all my bags in the trunk we got in the car, but before my father started up the car he turned to look at me and smiled.

"Princess." He started, but then thought carefully about what he was going to say next. I haven't really spoke to my father like sit and have a talk. "I know we really never spoke about what happened those years ago. We are pushing closely to six years ago. I will admit that I do not forgive myself for putting you in danger like that. My actions caused us to crash and I still don't forgive myself for causing you all that pain." He ran his fingers through his hair.

It kind of stung. I didn't want him to blame himself for it. Yes it was his fault, but I was to blame as well. The memories were distorted from that day and I hardly remember much from the crash.

"Dad please." I paused. "Let's just leave that as the past and you have always told me to keep moving forward. We have too much to live for. You have to be a father to Rosemary and show her that she can do anything she wants to when she grows up. You need to support her just like you did with me." I smiled at him and ran my hand over his.

"I never knew you felt a certain way. I still am sorry I didn't want to cause any of that. If I could have took it back I think I would have approved back then if it made you happy. I just want to see you happy. That's one of the reasons I am happy that you are happy with Josue. I look at him and I see a smarter younger me. He is a great man. I think he is everything you deserve and more." He smiled at me and put the key in the ignition. I rolled my eyes. I put my seatbelt on and secured it.

The ride home was a quiet one. He drove me to my house. When we pulled in to my street we first passed Jacob's house and the lights were on. I was hoping he was home. I was praying that I would see him again.

I had him constantly on my brain ever since I last saw him. I was still surprised he hadn't seen me when he came back. Maybe he was trying to hide from me. I didn't understand his behavior and it frankly worried me a bit more than it should have.

"Thanks for bringing me home dad. I am a little tired so I am going to get some rest and I'll come over tomorrow to the house ok." I smiled at my father and he returned the gesture. He helped me bring the bags in the house and he left me to my thoughts.

I think Jake might have been upset with me. There was a stack of magazines on my coffee table. I took a look at them and all of them had me either on the cover or some mention that I was in it. One of them caught my eyes. It was a mention on the cover about Josue and I. I opened up to page 38 like it said. It was an article about us. I started to read and I didn't realize that our relationship was public now. I was so caught up in so many other things that I didn't realize that Josue was probably taking our relationship a million times serious then I ever did. I knew I had to put a stop to it before things progressed even more.

I needed to speak to Justin. I called Justin quickly and asked him if it were even possible of me seeing him tonight. Justin as my best friend of course agreed. He also said he wanted to talk to me as well.

Justin came over and as soon as he did I hugged him. We both walked over to my living room. The living room was huge it had a fireplace, the walls were a beige color and matched the warm brown tones of the furniture which were different shades of browns, tans, and cream colors.

"Shortcake I wanted to be the first to tell you." He had a happy smile on his face so I knew he had some good news.

"What happen?" I asked as we both sat down. He caused me to smile. His company was always enough to light up the room and gives off this amazing wonderful energy.

"Leah is pregnant again. This time we actually planned it and we want a little girl." He smiled and I noticed his excitement. I was happy for him I really was. Justin got his happily ever after. I could say I envied that bond he had with Leah, but I was also happy for him.

"Oh wow really? That's amazing news I hope you get what you want you deserve it so much." I smiled at him and gave him a warm embrace.

"But I also wanted to talk to you about Jacob. I was talking with Leah and we don't keep secrets from each other. I knew how you feel about him. I want to know do you still talk to him." Justin asked with a sure look on his face.

"Yea when I want to I text him and he texts me when he can. It has just been that lately he hasn't and it's been worrying me a little. I haven't heard for him in almost a month. Ever since he came back from Europe he has been a little different and I don't know what it is." My face fell. I was going to get upset again.

Justin sighed before he talked. I think he knew something that I didn't know. It made me a little nervous and I wanted to know what was really going on. I needed answers. If Jacob was doing something that would break my heart I didn't want to know. I would rather want to be happy with what I had with him. I was just praying I wasn't wrong about my assumption in this.

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**Hope you liked it. If you think you know what Jacob is up to please leave your assumption in a review and let me know what you think.**

**Another little note: I have posted a couple things on my profile that have to do with the outtakes that deal with Justin and Leah the name of that fic is Unexpected. There is a small preview on my profile on that. Also If there are any additional questions on this story on Do you think of me? or Unexpected feel free to send me a PM or you can even email me with questions or leave questions in a review as well. **

**Thanks for reading guys and sticking in for the story. I really appreciate it. I will try my best to get chapters out quicker all you have to do is leave some love in a review and I will update or try to. So that's it for the A/N. **

**Don't forget to check out my profile so you can see the preview of Unexpected which won't be up for a long time. I will let you know when I will take it off, but I'll probably take it off when I post the actual story. Feel free to ask any questions. =]  
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	11. Ch10 Forget the past

**A/N: Okay lovely's, here is the update. One day early YAY! So let me know what you think of it. Love it? Hate it? Enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: SM Owns the twilight Saga. **

********LEMON*******  
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Chapter 10: Forget the past

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**Nessie**

"You know he is home right now." Justin said as he pointed towards the wall which was in the direction of Jake's house. I walked over to the window and stared out. I am guessing Justin was just as clueless as I was.

"Yea I did, but he doesn't know I was coming anyway. I don't care if he knows anyway." I crossed my arms. I was very upset with Jacob's behavior lately and it was starting to get to me.

"I want to know why you two are acting like that towards each other. You two know that ya'll want to be together. I don't see why that isn't a reality yet."Justin said. He had a point though. Only this time the one that was acting shady was Jacob not at all me.

"I want to be with him too. Its Josue, I have been with him for a long time already." I sighed as I ran my hands through my hair.

"Shit I'll break up with Josue for you. I know he isn't the one for you. I've seen how you look at Jake and how he looks at you. The two of you can't live without each other." He had a serious look on his face. When he started he had his fists balled up. Justin was my best friend so I knew he would look out for me no matter what.

"Relax don't do that. Can I tell you something?" I bit down on my lip and started getting a little nervous. I didn't know why I was going to tell Justin this, but he was my best friend.

"Yea, I tell you always I am still going to love you no matter what you do, who you with, or where you go." He said with a smile. His smiles were contagious because I smiled as well.

I started off a little slow because I was still nervous about this. "Well you know how last time I was here and I lost the drinking bet to Jake?" I had to make sure he remembered it.

"Yea ok."

"Well the bet was for us to have sex because that's what we did when he was in New York. I am madly in love with him Justin and I don't know how to go about it." I placed my head in my hands.

"That's why you fought his girl?" my head went straight up to look at Justin after he said that.

"No I just didn't like that bitch and I have always loved Jacob since I was sixteen come on of course I am going to get jealous. I still love him like back then." I sighed.

"Then why not be with the person you love? I am with the person I love. The first day I seen her I fell in love and she's my wife now. So why not with Jacob?" he had a good point made, but it was different with me and Jake.

"It's different with us. I already know I am going to end up with him." I ran my hand through my hair as a tick.

"So why wait any longer? Why not be with him now?" Again Justin was right, but it's hard admitting it to myself.

"It's complicated."

"It's complicated because you make it complicated. You're the one who makes decisions in your life. No one else is going to make them for you. You have to learn to deal with them head on. If you don't then you'll never have happiness. You should go talk to him." his words were inspiring. Justin over the years has gotten wise and I have never seen this side to him and I appreciate it. He is always going to be my best friend save me when I am in need.

"Ok I am going to go now. You convinced me, stay here in case I need the support." I smiled at him and he hugged me. "I'll be back later."

I walked out of my house leaving Justin there. I had a smile across my face. I was going to tell Jacob Black I loved him and all I wanted was him. I was willing to leave everything for him. He was the only thing that mattered he was my universe.

I walked up the path way that led up to his house, the lights on the lawn has a luminous glow. I was a little excited and I had butterflies rising in my stomach. I was praying Jake would be accepting and we wouldn't have to keep away from each other anymore.

I rang the bell in hopes that this new start would be amazing. My giddiness was radiating off me in harmonious rays. I don't remember being more happy about something. I was finally going to do what I should have done five years ago. Maybe Jake and I would have had a family by now. I might have been happy like Justin is with Leah.

I have never given myself that opportunity and I bet I missed out on a lot for being that way. Jake finally came to the door as he was fixing a robe he had obviously just thrown on.

"Yea? Oh what's up?" he looked flushed and a little nervous in seeing my face. "I didn't know you were coming." He was a bit hesitant. Something was strange with him so I knew he was hiding something.

"Jacob come back." A high pitched girl's voice came into hearing distance as she giggled.

"Oh you were busy? I'll make sure not to come back later." I pushed his chest and started to walk off. He grabbed me by the wrist before I could fully leave.

"What's your problem?"

"What's my problem? What's my fucking problem? You're fucking some girl when I come to tell you I was going to end it with Josue. I just wanted you, but forget that shit I am done." I tried pulling my arm away that just caused him to grip tighter.

"What did you think? You thought I was going to wait for you forever? I am a man with needs and obviously you didn't care enough to take my feelings into consideration." He tried to make it clear. Those words hit me hard and they made me fill with rage. I couldn't deal with it.

"Go to fucking hell! Go fuck that bitch you got in there I am leaving." I said as I turned around. He still didn't let my wrist go. He pulled me towards him and kissed me on the lips. I pulled away instantaneously as my rage hit its boiling point. I punched him in his jaw as hard as I could.

"What the fuck!" he yelled as he was now rubbing his jaw.

"Don't fucking kiss me when I just told you to go with that bitch you have in there. Don't go telling Justin to convince me into getting back with you while you're going around fucking bitch after bitch. I am officially done with you and this proved it." I started walking away.

"Wait calm down. You don't know what is going on." He tried to make himself seem like he was the victim. He wasn't and that role didn't suit him.

"It doesn't take two and two to put that puzzle piece together Jacob." I finally left with a fury that was running through my veins. I couldn't believe how insensitive he could be. I expected him to be there for me with open arms. I was in the complete wrong for doing that.

I stormed in the house and slammed the door. Justin was on the couch watching some game on TV. I started pacing faster than I have ever before. "Go talk to your friend. I am going to end up killing him." I said as I paced faster and ran my fingers in circles at my temples.

"What happened now? You were so happy when you left." Justin asked and I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"He kissed me." Justin busted out laughing and I didn't understand why.

"That's why you want to kill him?" he slowed his laughing a bit. He looked and seen I had a serious face and it was affecting me in some sort of way.

"Yea because he was fucking some other bitch, there is no hope for me in love Justin. I don't think it's even possible for me." I sighed. I needed to punch something. Justin's demeanor changed and he went into protective mode.

"I am going to go talk to him." he said smoothly and calmed down.

"No I give up on him. That's a lost cause there's no point in me killing myself if he's not going to change. I hate that about him. If you need me I'll be in my room boxing." I said as I ran up the stairs.

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Jacob**

Nessie had just left. I had no clue that she was back. I would have picked my boning sessions more carefully if that were the case. After seven months of not seeing her, and seeing on every fucking magazine or newspaper in Europe a mention of her prick ass boyfriend I knew she wasn't going to leave him.

She said that she will, but I knew deep down in my heart that she won't. It pisses me off to an extreme that she won't do it. Today came as a shock and stunned me in my place she was going to do it. I had to ruin things by making her mad at me.

Maybe I and Nessie are just not meant to be with each other if difficult tasks keep on presenting themselves. My doorbell rang again and I prayed to god that it was Nessie and I could fully apologize. I didn't want her to have to deal with seeing me be with another woman, but she didn't give me many other options.

How selfish can someone be? She wanted cake and to enjoy it too. She wanted me and her prick ass boyfriend. She can't have both of us I don't share at all. I never knew she could be so full of herself like if everything was going to be her way. Things don't work out like that in the real world. I am not into open relationships. I am a greedy person and I will not share.

I went and opened the door to see Justin there.

"Yo Jake I am going to break your fucking face!" he threatened me and I don't like to be threatened at all.

"What she told you?"

"You're seriously fucking some other bitch when Nessie comes to talk to you? You better not do some stupid shit Black. She is mad as hell right now. She's up in her room boxing and shit." The thought of Ness in her room boxing sounded real good right now.

"That's hot." I said unconsciously forgetting her best friend was in front of me.

"You don't get it right." Justin said in that pissed off tone. I didn't understand why the fuck he was interfering any way.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I asked a little puzzled.

"She was going to really break up with Josue for you."

"You think I am not angry? She just punched me in the face." I said as I rubbed my still throbbing jaw. The girl knew how to throw a punch.

"So you deserved it you fucking some other bitch. You are never going to find someone as good as Nessie." He defended Nessie. I never really liked the way Justin was about Nessie. He put this claim on her like she was his. She was never his she was always mines and will always be mines.

"What are you trying to say?" I felt a little insulted by his comment.

"That you are never going to find someone better than Renesmee. I couldn't put it any clearer for you."

"Relax. I know I am going to end up with Renesmee. I am going to talk to her tomorrow. I'll do whatever I have to. She's going to be mine trust and believe that."

"I don't know about that. She's really pissed. You always have to fuck up around Christmas time. Like all those years back the two of you couldn't be together. The only difference now is that you two are adults yet you aren't acting like it. The two of you need to grow the fuck up." His words hit hard, but he was right. Nessie and I had a childish approach in our relationship that needed to change.

"Don't worry I will be with her."

"Better be like that pretty boy. The day I find out that you cheat on Renesmee when you're with her I am going to break your fucking face pretty boy." He said it in a harsh tone. I didn't take well to threats.

"Relax because I don't take well to threats."

"It wasn't a threat it was a fucking promise. I'll see you later I have my wife and kids to worry about what's your excuse?"

He left and I was in a bit of a puzzled state. Even through harsh words Justin was completely right and he made me have a revelation. I needed to think a little bit more clearly and approach this situation a bit more carefully and on a mature scale.

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Nessie**

I worked out the rest of the night. I woke up the next day extremely early and I didn't want to be home so I went for a jog and ran to my mom's house which was a good distance away from where I lived. Another reason for me leaving was because I didn't want to have to deal with Jacob Black ringing my doorbell trying to apologize.

I had already had many text messages from him saying he was sorry. I wasn't going to be forgiving now. He fucked up and he didn't deserve a second chance. I didn't understand why I acted the way I did. It hurt me so bad to the point my heart was slowly breaking. It hurt to be rejected by him his attitude pissed me off even more.

I finally did make it to my mom's house. Thank god the weather was moderately ok even with the small sheet of snow that was on the ground. Gladly there was hardly any ice. It was a little crazy to go jogging in the winter, but I am a New Yorker I can do anything.

I rang the bell and my mom opened the door with open arms and hugged me. She looked behind me and noticed there was no car. I shrugged and walked in the house.

"What's wrong?" she asked as she now had a small frown on her face. My mother in the last few years could read me like no other person. We really bonded after the loss of my baby boy. She said she understood she had plenty miscarriages after I was born because of the stress she went through with my dad. She went through it so she understood. My mom was still my best friend and more so.

"Nothing ma." I shook my head and she raised an eyebrow she knew better. I went for the kitchen and helped myself to a bottle of water.

"You know you can't keep it from Me." she said as she now bend the corner and peered through the door frame. My mom was sure silly, but I loved her.

"Well ma I know me and you have never had such a good relationship." I admitted honestly noting to the previous relationship we had. It was a little better now, but still not to where it was supposed to be.

"I know it's because we have always been distant and I am the one to blame for that. That makes me a horrible mother and I had so many dreams with you. You're my first born daughter. I just hope I don't make that same mistake with Rosemary."She sighed and I noticed she knew she could have done better. I didn't want to see her beat herself about it though. I saw as her eyes got watery and a few tears streamed.

"Mom please don't cry." I pulled her into a hug. She then smiled.

"Just know you can talk to me about anything" she smiled once more and I felt the confidence to talk to her about my problems.

"Mom I love Jacob Black, I love him mom. I have never stopped and my heart tries to choose him, but he always ends up doing something to hurt my heart and my heart wants to be with him." I started crying as I felt full blown the pain I felt last night from the rejection.

"That's crazy." My mom whispered and I think it was meant mostly for her to hear it.

"What is?"

"The same thing happened to me with your father. He would always cheat on me and your dad has always had a little mystery. As we all know your father has kids that aren't with me. Samantha and Brandon both are good kids though. I have only had eyes for your father. When I was younger I could have had any guy I wanted and I mean anybody I had a lot of boyfriends too. It's not the same as with the person you love and I screwed up so many times too. Look at your dad he is sexy, gorgeous, handsome." I had to cut her off because eww that was my dad.

"Gross, eww, eww!" I repeated and it was the truth dad was just eww.

My mom let out a laugh before she continued. "I feel the same way about you kids." She laughed once more.

"Mom but seriously I love him; I want to be with him. It's just I can't deal with that stress that comes with it you know." I admitted. Jake made my head spin without me having to give a second thought about it. He could be the one and only person on my mind. I don't know how he gained such a place in my heart.

"Yea I know you two are going to be together. I am going to talk to him personally ok." She winked at me. Her talking to Jacob was the worst thing possible. I didn't want to hear one thing about him. He moved on so I knew it was finally over.

"Don't do that." I wiggled my finger at her. "I repeat don't do that. I believe that would be the worst thing you could do possibly. I resign my love for him, stupid yes I know. I just don't want to put myself into so much pain." I answered truthfully. The truth of the matter was that my heart was still hurting.

"Don't be so stubborn god you got that from me. It's hard for me to admit, but you did. You father is just as stubborn. Please don't let twenty years go by and you're still not with the love of your life. You will be missing out on too many opportunities if you do." She raised her eyebrow to show her sternness.

"No don't do that because I have to break up with Josue first. Like I said what for I am done with Jacob that's it I am done." I sighed deeply and pulled a little bit on my hair.

"You listen to me Renesmee, I am going to talk to Jacob." I knew she made her mind up about this, there was no going back. She was going to do it with my blessings or not.

"Please don't do that mom!" I said in a higher octave then was needed.

"I don't want to see you like this Renesmee. Do you know what a mother goes through seeing her child like this? I saw you something similar to this after the car accident and I don't want to see you like that."

"Mom I'll talk to him when I am ready ok." I ran my hand through my hair.

We walked back into the living room and I sulked in the couch. Mom sat next to me and started to stroke my hair.

"Ok but if you don't want to talk to him I will." Again I knew I wasn't going to change her mind about it.

I turned the TV on. What I saw pissed me off. it was on one of Jacob's car commercials.

"Oh my god! I can't even watch TV anymore!" I ran my hand over my face. I was upset very upset.

"Calm down. You see why I am going to talk to him." she had her mind determined. She really thought that her talking to Jacob would fix things. I seriously doubted they would. He wanted to be free so why not let him have his freedom.

"Seriously? what for? He's probably busy fucking that bitch he had in his house. I am going to go finish working out."

"Fine I am going to talk to him tomorrow just so you know."

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Jacob **

Did she not want to give me a chance to give her my POV? No she had to be a fucking hypocrite and make herself the fucking victim. She wasn't home so I had to go looking for her. I hate what she was doing. It was ok with her to be with the prick of her boyfriend, but let me go have a little fun she is going to go all fuck you Jake mode.

I wanted to go talk to her at least. I knew where she would be too. The only other place she would go, her mother's house. The only reason I was going to go was because well I can't let her go like that. The reason I was fucking some other girl was because well Nessie wasn't there and why should I be celibate just because I am not with her. That is a very hypocritical move from her part. I bet she has had sex with her little French boyfriend. I bet she likes him even more because he is European.

I have dealt with the European type over the last seven months. They are all full of themselves and think they're superior to Americans. They have a very cocky demeanor. I worked with them well because either way I was getting money out of it. Now the European women I screwed while I was over there amazing woman.

The one thing that pissed me off to an extreme limit was because well, all I would see was her boyfriend on the fucking magazines. This dude had at least three magazines with his name on it. That pissed me off. There was a bunch of tabloids that talked about Nessie's and his relationship.

There was one in particular that pissed me off. It was in the September addition. It was all over the newspapers and magazines. Pictures of them by the Eiffel tower in Paris. The thing that shook me up was he probably proposed to her. They had that in the magazines as well, but it wasn't confirmed. After that I guess I became a little more distant towards her. When it got to early November maybe end of October I kind of stopped talking to her completely. I couldn't deal with it if she really was going to go through with it.

I guess I didn't want to hear her confirm it. When she came to my house the other day and told me she just wanted me it made me feel horrible. She wasn't going to do it and I never gave her a chance to see that she truly was trying to be with me. I made it all about me. I feel I had the right to though. As long as I had been waiting I shouldn't of had waited that long. She should have ended it when they were still in the beginning of their relationship.

I walked up to Bella's house and rang the bell. I was praying Nessie was still there so she could forgive me. I would do anything to talk to her. I wanted her all the women I was with was just a way of satisfaction they didn't mean a thing to me at all.

Bella opened the door and that gave me a little peace at mind. I didn't want to hear Nessie's dad complaining about why I was here. He never liked me and I doubt he ever will like me. Bella gave me a smile.

"Just the person I wanted to speak to." Her smile went wider. I wondered what she had in mind by that.

"Oh really, I came to talk to Nessie."

"Well that's the person I wanted to talk to you about. Let's go into my office to talk a little more privately." I did as she said and followed her into the office. It had bookshelves surrounding two walls, in a red cherry wood. The desk matched in a mahogany color as well with a large brown leather chair. It had to chairs in front of the desk. She gestured me to sit down and I did so.

"What's up?"

"Well I talked to my daughter earlier and this girl is in love with you. I know you're in love with her as well. I can tell by the way you look at her what's going on." Bella went on. I knew Bella had always approved of me being with her daughter. I didn't know we were so obvious about everything though.

"It's her, I tried believe me I did. She pushes me away and I can't wait for her my entire life." I sighed and brought my back firmly to the back of the chair.

"Oh I see, but you had her mad the other day. Be careful with that Jacob. My daughter is stubborn and a bit of a hot head. Just like her father." Bella sighed.

"I know."

"I am going to try to get her to come down to talk to you. She doesn't know you're here."

"Ok." I nodded. Bella left the room and I just sat there twiddling my fingers. I felt like this wasn't going to make any progress, but I had to at least try to do something. I didn't want to lose the woman I loved. I know I messed up by sleeping with other women, but they don't mean a thing to me.

I heard Nessie and Bella coming closer to the room as I heard Nessie complaining about me.

"Ma I am not going to talk to him." she finally made it to the doorway and looked at me and rolled her eyes before turning to her mother again.

"Well I am locking you two in here until the two of you are friends again." Bella's methods were a bit brutal. I didn't expect what would happen. With that Bella pushed Nessie in and closed the door. All you heard was the lock click from when she used the key.

Nessie went and tried to open the door but she had no luck. When she finally gave up she went and sat in the brown leather chair and faced the wall. The room had no windows so I know Bella chose that room with a motive.

Nessie crossed her arms and I could tell she was shaking her leg with a rapid pace. I didn't understand why she was so pissed off. I didn't move from the chair I was sitting in. I knew we would probably be in here a long time because she wasn't willing to speak to me.

"So you're really not going to talk to me at all. Can you at least look at me?" I asked she didn't budge.

"Why should I? You fucking made me feel like a fool yesterday. That was low Jacob." She sneered and I could tell she said it through clenched teeth. I didn't think the events were going to affect her so bad.

"Well that wasn't my intention." I looked down into my lap. I didn't ever want to hurt her and to see that she was mad kind of hit a sensitive spot in me.

She finally turned to look at me. "What was your intention the?" she asked trying to figure things out. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusions.

I was going to tell her the truth, how I felt. "I just wanted you to know I wasn't going to wait forever for you. I love you but damn." My nostrils flared as I felt my breath get a little stronger.

"I love you too, but you don't know how hard it is for me just to see one of your commercials, a mention of you in a magazine, or to even hear you on the radio." Her head went down and she looked at her hands.

"Hard? Hard you think it's not hard for me seeing you in magazines, newspapers, campaigns. Just thinking of you being with him, kissing him and it's not me? You think it's not hard?" I questioned her. Her face looked back at me and I could sense the pain in her eyes.

"I say the same thing when you're fucking other women and it's not Me." she looked away once more. The rejection was getting at me more than anything.

I couldn't handle the distance I got up and walked over to her. I grabbed her by the waist and crashed my lips to hers and she gripped my hair in her finger tips. I deepened the kiss the way I wanted it to be. I picked her up as she wrapped her legs around my waist. I never moved my lips from being on hers. I threw all the papers and things that were on the desk and threw them on the floor.

I plopped her up on the desk and removed her pants. She moaned in my mouth. Her hands moved to my jeans and unbuckled my belt and then undid the button. Her hands went for my boxers as her hand went into grab a hold of my pulsating cock. She stroked it and I hissed into her mouth.

I couldn't stand it anymore I ripped her panties from the seams. I went inside of her hard and fast. How she could turn me on completely without trying hard still astounds me. I felt how tight and wet she was for me. I had to admit I missed her a lot and none of the girls I have done in the last few months could compare. I could admit that for five months I didn't have sex with any other woman, I just wacked off a lot.

"Fuck!" I yelled as I went harder and faster in her. I knew I wouldn't last long. I think that caused so much pleasure in this was because we were both mad. I continued to rock her world. She screamed into my mouth and stuck her nails into my shoulder I thought I was probably going to get a mark from that.

I finally came inside her and momentarily she came as well as her body convulsed and pulsated around me. I pulled out of her and kissed her forehead dearly.

I just wanted to be able to call her mines and not have to be worried about being quiet about it. I wanted to be able to scream to the world she was mines and that I was hers.

"Damn can we not fight anymore? Can you be mines now?" those were the only things on my mind at the moment and I only wanted her. She was all I ever wanted and I don't think I could live without her.

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**I guess that could be considered as a CLIFFY! but not really. Well let me know what you think of the chapter and let me know what you want Nessie's response to be? Leave me a review to let me know. **

**=]  
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	12. Ch11 Addiction

**A/N: Hey guys here is an update, sorry for the delay I was helping out a friend with her story so I got a little side tracked. I am writing a story with Perlbaby09, it is called Just one of the guys. Make sure you check it out. I'll put a link at the end of this for that story. Go check it out and Review it's a good story. **

**Enjoy this chapter. **

**Disclaimer: Sm owns twilight**

*******LEMON******  
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Chapter 11: Addicted to you. **

**You've got fashion and style  
I'm lovin' your smile and  
The way you get down  
I can't see no one else  
It's you by yourself, yea  
In spite of the crowd  
(Baby no one else matters)**

**[B-SECTION:]  
It started off with a kiss (uh huh)  
Never expectin' this (uh huh)  
And now I'm here copin' with  
My addiction (addiction)  
It started off with a kiss (uh huh)  
Never expectin' this (uh huh)  
And now I'm here copin' with  
My addiction**

**While all the girls say**

**[HOOK:]  
I'm addicted to you  
I'm addicted to you  
I'm addicted to you  
You're my addiction  
I'm addicted to you  
I'm addicted to you  
I'm addicted to you  
You're my addiction**

**[BRIDGE:]  
When I'm lookin' in the mirror  
Honey, you are all I see  
And it could not be no clearer  
That I need you here with me**

**[VERSE 2:]  
I was hopin you'd notice  
The way that I like to  
Have you around  
Listen and you will find that  
Your heart beats for me  
Girl, I hear the sound**

**RYAN LESLIE Ft. CASSIE- Addicted

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**Nessie**

_"Damn can we not fight anymore? Can you be mines now?"He said and I stayed frozen for a bit. _

After we finished our quickie my face was all smiles. I hadn't realized how much I missed him for that one part that our bodies were attracted. Jacob was able to turn me on without needing to do much. It was a rush because we could've got caught at any moment.

I bit my lip before I even responded to him. "I have always been yours." I said low and kissed him on the lips. He smiled and gripped my hips tighter.

"Ok so what about Josue?" he asked me. I knew the only right thing for me to do.

"I'll break up with him when I go back to New York."

"When do you leave to go back?"

"About a week after New Years,"

"Ok so it's official then." He had a wide smile across his lips. I kissed his lips.

"Guess so it feels weird now." I giggled.

"Yea kind of no more chase."He chuckled.

"Yea," I kissed him once more. He ran his nose up my neck and I felt my skin get goose bumps from his touch. Something he has always been able to provoke. "Mom let us out!" I banged on the door.

"Are you two talking again?" she asked. I looked over to Jake who found a can of air freshener in the desk and sprayed. I wondered what would my mom need a can of air freshener.

"Yes."

"Finally you guys are talking!" I heard Justin's voice from the other side of the wall.

When the hell did Justin get there?

"That's good that you two are on good terms again." Leah was the next to speak.

"Mom can you open the door please?" she finally complied and opened the door releasing us from the detention center that was her office that now smelled of lavender and sex. "Leah Congrats," I hugged her and when I pulled back she had a small puzzled look on her face.

"What happened?" she asked.

"On being pregnant," She gave Justin a look that scared me a little bit.

"You're pregnant?" my mom asked Leah.

"Yea I am, Justin we said we weren't going to talk about it yet." She gave him that look again.

"My bad," Justin put his hands up in defeat.

"Justin what's going on why was my daughter locked in the room with that delinquent." My father came into view. I knew he wouldn't ask my mother. I don't know what he has against Jacob, but I don't like it.

"I don't know ask Bella." Justin replied and my father turned to look at my mother. I prayed this wouldn't put pressure on their relationship. My dad is known to hold grudges and I wouldn't want them to break up over my mom trying to fix my relationship with Jake.

"Bella?" My father raised his tone and I knew he wanted an answer from her.

"They needed to talk so I made them." My mom made herself clear. I didn't know my mom wore the pants in mom and dad's relationship.

"Bella you know how I feel about him and you're going to go ahead and without my consent? I never liked him he's no good for you Renesmee, Now Josue that's a good man." My dad's eyes sparkled. He was truly motivated by the idea of me and Josue together. I wasn't and I wouldn't deny that I didn't want to be with him.

"If he is such a good man then why don't you marry him?" I rolled my eyes. I know I said it disrespectful, but sometimes my father crosses the line.

"Mr. Cullen you obviously don't know what's good for your daughter." Jacob had a smooth demeanor and he was using his professional tone. My father's face fell and I knew he didn't like Jacob standing up to him.

"I do know what is good for her. I am looking for her interest." My father was contemptuousness. I believe everyone sensed the new tension.

"Her interest, or yours?" Jacob's tone raised, I could tell he was letting his anger get to him.

"Money and fame she doesn't need so what interest is it in for me?" My father raised his tone again. My father was a moderately calm person and hardly ever let his temper get in his way or from what I have seen. My mom said he was a hot head.

"To keep her away from me, I am man enough to come to your face and that's what scares you." My jaw dropped wide. Jacob was never scared to go up to anyone's face and let them know what it is.

My father growled lowly. "Little boy you will never and I mean never deserve my daughter. No man scares me, especially not you." I had a feeling they were going to end up fighting. My dad just didn't like Jake.

"I can see right through you. Nobody will ever be perfect for his oldest daughter. You're afraid I will be like you."Jacob ended with clenched teeth.

"You could never be like me. I am better then you." I couldn't stand the tension in the room so I had to break them up. I loved my father and I loved Jake. If I had to choose now I would choose Jacob.

"Dad, Jacob please stop arguing!" I yelled at them and they both turned and looked at me. Their eyes had shocked expressions as they eyed me carefully. "I am tired that always around holidays something has to happen. I want to have a good holiday for the twins and for Rosemary ok it's her first Christmas. So everything is happy and you won't ruin it." I scolded both of them and they finally realized my words were true.

"Fine for Rosemary and the twins," My father finally agreed.

"Good daddy because I am a grown woman, I can make my own decisions." My father's jaw fell agape. I had to let him know he couldn't control my decisions anymore.

"Word Edward it's true." Justin defended. Jacob came back to my side and wrapped his arm around my waist.

"Yea Mr. Cullen she can date whoever she wants." He smiled at me and I smiled back at the love of my life.

"Yea sorry Edward, she is 23, she kind of can." Leah defended as well. I knew my dad would get a bit pissed from that.

"You all are going to gang up against me?" he cocked his eyebrow.

"Yea kind of," Justin chuckled.

"I have to agree with them Edward." My mom half smiled and shrugged.

"Fine," my dad gave up, because he wasn't going to win in this scenario.

"How about we go eat dinner? Jacob you should stay." My mom looked at Jake. Jake nodded. I had to agree it felt weird to actually make it official with Jake I kind of missed the chase a bit. It was fun while it lasted I knew Jacob was my present and future.

Christmas and New years went good. All my family was together and we made an effort to not screw it up for the children. The adults got drunk that was a given at every Christmas and New years with Uncle Emmett he couldn't stay away from the eggnog. I had to admit it was pretty fun. Jake and I made up it was like we were dating again. We continued to have that amazing mind blowing sex.

It was the day before I left to go back to NYC. I was in Jacob's house most of the time. It was like I lived there even though I lived next door. Jacob wrapped his arms around my waist as I was making breakfast for us. He kissed my cheek and I giggled.

He moved to kiss my neck and I bit down on my lip as I continued to stir the eggs in the skillet. "Jacob calm down your going to make me burn the eggs honey." I giggled because he was tickling me.

"What do you want me to do? My baby is leaving me tomorrow and I don't know when I am going to see her again. I don't care if those damn eggs burn all I want is you." He lifted my chin with his finger so I could look at him. I raised my eyebrow as I turned the stove off and put the eggs off the flame.

"Jake I will see you soon it's not like I am leaving forever." He sighed and placed his forehead against mines. I kissed his lips and smiled.

"You say that now. You aren't officially mines until Josue is out of the picture and I want him out of the picture."

"Jake he will be. You know I love you and I am willing to do anything for you."

"Better be that way." He kissed me once more this time a little more provocative then before. His kisses screamed pure addiction, full of passion and desire. I felt my need for him grow. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he placed me on top of the white marble counter top.

I was wearing only one of Jacob's shirts and a pair of skimpy lingerie. His hands travelled up my thighs, but his lips never removed its blaze from my lips. Jacob was wearing no shirt since I was wearing his; he only had on a pair of checkered navy blue boxers. His kisses increased as the hunger became intense as well. He was letting his animalistic side loose and I was yet to see this Jacob.

He said he mainly made love to me, while I felt it as more as sex. I knew it meant more than just sex, but before I failed to see that. I couldn't believe it was about to be a year I had Jacob back in my life. It was a little strange. Also knowing I finally had him and no one would be able to take him away from me. I wouldn't let it happen.

He spread my legs apart making room for him to go in between them. He pressed his groin tight against me. I bit my lip at the contact; his lips moved from being on my lips to my neck as he kissed lightly then ran his tongue up along my neck towards my jaw where he kissed.

His hands never stayed silent as he massaged my thighs. I was being extra submissive today. It wasn't my normal place. I wanted him to feel he was dominant. I loved that he felt that way only I would let him be dominant when I secretly dominated him. His grasp got to my chin where he gripped and showed my lips where he wanted them to brush.

His hand that was still on my thigh, crept its way gently up to the lingerie that were covering my intimate parts. He would always amaze me how he could be gentle and ruff and still administer the much needed pleasure that I was craving. Jacob knew I loved it aggressive, yet he knew when I wanted him to be tender. He could read my mind without being able to.

He pulled the undergarment down and they tumbled to the floor. I was wet already and he hadn't been trying to stimulate me for a long time. Jake was able to go from 0 to 100 in a short amount of time. That was a good thing to me, it made me feel like I had this dominance over him and I was the only one who was able to turn him on like that.

I put my hands at the hem of his boxers, but he stopped me. Today I was his personal love slave and I did what he wanted me to. "Are you going to submit to me?" he whispered huskily on the side of my face. I just nodded my head. "You have no idea how addicted I am to you now." He kissed the side of my face with more kisses as they trailed down to my neck.

He had no idea how I was addicted to him. I had no clue as to how I was going to cope without him while I was in New York. I needed him in me now. I wanted to be able to be with him in closed doors and not ever leave. Of course we would need to because of natural reasons.

He slowly lowered his boxers and kicked them off. His warm hands crept up the overly large shirt I was wearing and squeezed my breast. I moaned at the contact.

"Na ah, hold your moans I will let you know when you'll be able to." He wasn't playing fair at all. I bit my bottom lip and closed my eyes tight. I didn't want to see what he was going to do next because I was sure to moan loudly. "Open your eyes, I want to see those pretty brown eyes." I did as he said because I liked his power of dominance and aggression.

The difference was today he was taking it to a different level. We stood in the kitchen undresses and I looked at how he moved back and raked my frame over with a clouded lust look on his face. I could see the carnal desire in his dark brown eyes. I don't think I ever wanted him more than in this moment.

He didn't touch me though, but his eyes said it all as to how much he wanted me. I bit on my lip again. He walked over a bit closer and I could feel his breathing get heavy. He spread my thighs wider and got a hold of himself and he pushed the head of his hard cock inside of me and I couldn't help but yelp.

"Shh… I told you already no moaning." He wasn't being very nice. He took my lips with his so he could shut me up. He went in deeper and I moaned into his mouth. My legs wrapped around his waist and he lifted me off the counter top. He was now doing me in the air as he bounced me up and down his shaft. I started moaning involuntarily and I didn't care if he wanted me to or not.

It was like the more I moaned the harder he went. I felt like I was going to spontaneously combust or just have a really amazing orgasm. I gripped onto him tight as my eyes rolled back and I dug my nails into him. I rode the sensations that were building in the pit of my stomach.

I was going to hit my first climax before he even hit his. "Jakeee!" I said shaky and my knees felt like jelly. "I…I'm gonna cum." I moaned and that's what happened I came hard against him. That didn't stop him though he kept going pumping in and out of me. He was going to kill me in the most blissful way and I knew it.

We continued like that for the next hour when we both rendered exhaustion and both collapsed on the kitchen floor tile. My arm was stretched across the top of his chest and he kissed the top of my head.

"What the fuck did we get ourselves into?" he asked and I giggled. I asked myself the same thing every day.

"I don't know, but I liked it." I giggled once more. "I guess breakfast is cold by now. I might as well get started on lunch." I tried to get up, but my legs felt wobbly. It was when I lost my virginity all over again. Jacob left me sore.

"Relax I'll cook today. I can tell your going to be walking funny for the next week." He chuckled and cocky Jake was back. I walking funny was the last thing I wanted to be.

I was finally going back to New York. The feel felt wrong and out of place. I was home in being in Washington. Actually let me rephrase that my home was anywhere Jake was. My heart thumped and pumped for him now. It always did. I had found my eternal soul mate and we would be happy together.

When we were in the airport it was hard to part ways. Not to mention I had to say my goodbye's from the car. I still had to avoid the public eye and drawing too much attention to myself. For right now we were still creeping and I didn't want my private life to be in the public. It gets real annoying.

"Don't leave me." Jacob faked cried and pulled me to him. I had to laugh at him. One thing I loved about him was his sense of humor. "At least I tried. I'll see if I can go out there in about two weeks hopefully. I expect by then we can be with each other without anyone intervening." He raised his eyebrow and I just nodded.

"If I stay any longer I am going to miss my flight." I looked at the time on my watch.

"Now that isn't a bad idea."

"Jake! You know I have to go honey." I pecked him on the lips for a sweet kiss. He wanted to extend it, but I stopped him. "Jake I have to go now honey." He kept brushing his lips against mines.

"Stay!" he whined.

"Can't, you said it yourself I might see you in two weeks. Try hard so I can see you." This time I was opening the car door.

"Fine, call me as soon as you land so I know you're safe." Jake was sweet and I couldn't help but smile at him.

I waved bye to him and made my way inside of the airport. I checked myself in and just had to wait until my flight left.

As soon as I got to New York I took a car to meet with Josue. We scheduled a dinner, when we spoke on the phone he sounded like his usual self. I took the car to his studio and had my driver take my things home.

I walked into his studio to see him working on a photo shoot I waited until he was done. I didn't want to tell him the news and then he blames me for messing up his photo shoot. I wanted to be considerate. When he finished his last shot he walked over to me and kissed me on my cheek.

"Hey Hun," I said in a low tone. It hurt me to have to say it to him, but it needed to be done. "I need to talk to you."

"Well I wanted to talk to you too. I am really glad that I am with you and I had wanted to wait until later but I just can't." He got down on one knee and pulled out a small velvet box from his pocket. I got so nervous and my palms started sweating.

I didn't want him to do this. He took my hand in his and whispered the few words that would make me go speechless.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen will you marry me?" his eyes sparkled and I froze. My mouth went completely dry and I couldn't respond to him. I was at complete loss of words.

"Oh my god." I finally said unintentionally.

"What do you say?" he waited for my answer. I wanted to scream to him and let him know I didn't want to be with him. That I loved Jacob Black and that I couldn't be with him for that same reason.

My throat couldn't produce the words to come out and just shout no. I continued in that stunned position. I lost my breathing and sense of consciousness for a moment.

"Oh my god." I whispered because that is the only way it could come out of my mouth and the only words that would push through.

"I'll take that as a yes. What did you want to say?"

I couldn't answer I was still in complete and utter shock. I couldn't say any words. My mouth was still dry and my breathing came back a little shorter.

"Oh my god." I whispered once more.

"That's all you have to say?"

"For now yes. Oh my god are you serious?" I thought I had dreamt this moment. Maybe I was being punk'd if that was the case can someone bring out the cameras. Ashton Kutcher where are you?

"More serious than I have been about anything." He sounded truthful, yet I couldn't believe it. I pinched myself. I had to get out of there because I didn't want this.

"I have to go." I didn't even wait for his response and I ran out of the studio. I got in my car and my driver took me home. I still couldn't wrap my head around what just happened. I didn't want it to happen.

When I got home I took my phone and called Jake. I knew he would be pissed about what just happened, but I don't want there to be secrets about what just happened.

"Jacob!" I screamed into the phone when I broke down on my knees.

"What happen?" he became alarmed.

"I couldn't do it. I tried, but I couldn't." I was still in partial shock when I spoke.

"What are you talking about?" he asked I knew he was confused. I didn't give him any details.

"To break up with Josue, I couldn't."

"Why couldn't you do it? It's not brain science Nessie." He sounded pissed off. I knew he would get mad. Jacob's temper has ways of reeling its nasty head.

"He… He… asked me to marry him." I stared blankly at the floor as I was trying to sort my thoughts and put them into comprehendible sentences.

"You said no right?"

"I was in shock I couldn't do it." I replied.

"You… you said yes then?" he gulped and his tone sounded full of rage.

"I didn't say anything at all. I just stayed quiet."

"And you called me to tell me that?" he sounded pissed his breath got a bit harder. I called him to tell him because I loved him and shouldn't be any secrets between us anymore.

"Yea because I love you." I got nauseous and I felt some throw up want to creep up my throat. I wanted to believe that the reason was because of the nerves. It kind of pieced together well though. I felt the vomit come up with more want. I ran to the bathroom with the phone still attached to my ear.

All Jacob could hear was me throwing up. My vomit was clear and it was horrible to throw up. I felt like crying.

"Nessie are you ok?" Jacob's calming voice came back and I could tell he was concerned now.

"Yea I am ok just a little sick, probably from the plane ride or the shock of getting proposed to by Josue."

"Could be that, hopefully it is." He sounded a little shaky and I had to admit I did too.

"Or maybe, no it can't be that." I started thinking of the possibility of me being pregnant. It was a small chance, but still very possible.

"Be what?" he asked.

"Maybe," the doubt was still in my mind. I shook that idea from my mind. "I'm, no it's silly." I nervously laughed.

"You think you might be pregnant right." He took the words out of my mouth.

"Maybe, but I doubt it. It's my nerves getting to me."

"Yea it's nerves." He agreed, but we were both scared about this. It wasn't planned and isn't convenient for both of us at present times. "Because, Oh shit we didn't use protection this whole time." those were the words that were pushing the suspicion even more. We were just giving more reasons to believe that is what it was.

"I know Jake. I can't have a kid right now. I am going to make sure tomorrow and I'll let you know." I was still shaky about it. We couldn't be going through this. Not in our current situation.

"Ok, I can't have a kid either right now. I'll call you tomorrow and see how you're doing. Please let me know if anything is wrong." He sounded worried and I was freaking out right now.

"Ok love you."

"Love you too."

With that we hung up and my stomach started doing flips. I had no clue how I was going to fix this.

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**So Tell me how I did and any questions feel free to ask and i'll answer. =] **

**The link for the story just take the dots out and replace with real periods.  
**

http:/www(DOT)fanfiction(Dot) net/s/6148662/1/Just_one_of_the_guys


	13. Ch12 Only time can tell

**A/N: Well sorry for the delay the last couple of days. It was my moms birthday so things were a little crazy I hardly had time for much. Well here is the next Chapter Enjoy it huns, I couldn't sleep yet again it is 3:25 am and this is what I did finish a Chapter for you guys. It's called love. This chapter is a little shorter then my regular ones, but at least you get a chapter so YAY! =] Enjoy and Review. **

**DISCLAIMER: SM OWNS TWILIGHT, =]  
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**Chapter 12: Only time can tell. **

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**Nessie**

Only one thing on my mind I wanted to know if I was pregnant? Or not? I called the only person I could trust with the situation I was in.

Alice.

I called her cell phone praying to god she answered. Knowing Aunt Alice she would either be with Alexander or shopping with Alexander. I knew that kid would be spoiled. He followed after his mother and father. He was a cutie.

The thought of children scared me and also excited me on a strange level. I knew without a doubt that I would be happy if I had a child with Jacob. It just wasn't the perfect time for it. I didn't want to bring a child into my life at the moment because I just didn't have the time for it.

"_Hello?"_Alice finally answered and I sighed in relief.

"Alice I need your help." I sighed into the phone still a little shook up.

"_What is it my lovely niece?" _she chirped into the phone. I didn't feel lovely right now. I was a bit on the stressed side and that doesn't motivate.

"I need a pregnancy test. I think I might be pregnant." I said calmly. She shrieked into the phone and I think I went death momentarily. I had to shake my ear to get the ringing feel out of it.

"_OH MY GOD! I am on my way now."_ I knew the small pixie would be zooming to come. She hung up the phone and in exactly twenty minutes she was at my door. She worked fast.

With Aunt Alice I never needed to wait long. She was the closest relative I had near me since all my other relatives left New York City.

She rang my bell and I opened the door for her. She had a huge tote bag on her shoulder. She probably had every single name brand of pregnancy test known to man. (In this case woman)

"We have work to do." She pulled me by my arm and closed the door behind her. I had forgotten how bossy she could be.

"Alice I just wanted the pregnancy test not a whole ritual. You know I am simple. Plain Jane if you will." She sighed and I knew she wouldn't be very cooperative.

"Renesmee please, I brought you the pregnancy test, but I want to know who?" she raised her eyebrow and placed her hand on her hip. Alice was going to give me war. She always does.

"Jacob, why would you even ask that?" Everyone knew so I didn't understand why she would ask.

"Renesmee I know you. I wasn't there for the first pregnancy, but I will be here for this one since you actually confided in me to get a pregnancy test. Now hop into that bathroom."

She followed me into my bathroom. For once I had a large bathroom. It had a tub in one corner a large shower in another corner. The tiles were tan and Carmel tones. I had a small chair in the front area of the bathroom where two sinks were that opened up to another room where the shower, bath, and toilet were.

Alice sat down on the chair and handed me one of the twenty pregnancy tests she had. The only problem I had now was I couldn't pee.

"Alice I can't pee!" I screamed over at her as she was waiting. All I heard was her laugh. It wasn't funny I didn't need to pee at the moment.

"Hold on!" She screamed back as it echoed. She flicked the sink on and started singing. She used to do the same thing when I was younger. It always did help me pee. She just kept repeating pee about a million times in her song. I always laughed at her, but it worked every time.

I finally did need to pee. I pulled the top of the pregnancy test and peed on the stick. Now we had to wait 5 minutes, but Alice handed me another pregnancy test of a different name brand. I peed on that one and covered it. She then handed me another one. I knew what she was doing though. In case one said one thing we got different results and if not the same thing on all three.

"Now we wait 5 minutes." I said as I washed my hands. Alice nodded and we went into my kitchen to enjoy a cheese platter.

"If you're eating that kind of stuff you must be pregnant." She said as she popped a grape in her mouth.

"Ali I am praying that I am not. I still haven't ended it with Josue and having a child with a man that isn't my boyfriend looks horrible. Plus Josue asked me to marry him today. Things are going horribly wrong with me." I sighed and slammed my head lightly on the island counter.

"Don't do that. Why didn't you tell me before that he proposed? That is major news Ren. You know I love you and I don't judge you." she pouted and grabbed another grape.

"Ali I love Jake." The timer went off then Alice and I rushed to the bathroom to see all three pregnancy tests.

One said in words not pregnant. The second one had a little plus. The last one said a simple no. two out of three said I wasn't pregnant and I wondered what did that mean.

"Alice how long have you had these pregnancy tests?" I asked her.

"For awhile you never know when you need a pregnancy test." She huffed. "We could go with the result of the two that said no they are the most accurate."

I wanted so much to just believe that the one that said I was pregnant was wrong and it was expired. Two out of three is my best shot right now.

"I hope so Alice, I hope so." I sighed and plopped down on the nearest chair.

"If you aren't so sure you could always go to a doctor. I tried to help, but you missy are too picky." She puffed once more. Alice was such a drama queen, but my mood swings were getting there as well.

"Ali I just want to make sure. You have no idea how scared I am of the thought of being with child." I covered my face with my hands.

"I understand. You are lucky I had to try so many times just to get pregnant with Alexander, If you are that fertile congrats to you." she half-smiled.

"Thanks again Alice." I rolled my eyes slightly.

"Well I am going to go honey bee. Love ya. Call me when you go to the doctor's." she pinched my cheek and then walked out my door. This was a tuff scenario I got myself into.

I placed a hand on my stomach and pressed lightly. If I was pregnant with a child, a child that was Jacob's. The idea scared me a little, but a part of me wanted to be pregnant with his child. To be able to have a little piece of me and Jake together, the idea warmed, my heart a little.

…

I woke up the next morning feeling sick once more. My stomach was turning; I got up and ran to the bathroom. I threw up in the sink because I couldn't make it to the toilet. I felt horrible. Maybe I have a stomach virus and not that I am having morning sickness.

I slugged down to my knees and put my hands on the cabinet doors of the sink. I felt horrible. I couldn't help, but cry. I had never cried because I had thrown up. It felt horrible. I had to go meet up with my trainer today. I didn't want to go, but I had to. I wiped my face of the tears and got back up. When I did I felt a little dizzy.

I was going down. I fell back down on my ass and I hit hard. It hurt like a bitch. I screamed. I had a feeling I was going to have a horrible day today.

I brushed my teeth and took a quick shower. I got dressed and made myself a power shake. I didn't think I would be able to take swallowing whole foods right now, with my stomach upset I knew I would throw it up completely.

When I smelled the shake my stomach started turning again and I wanted to throw up with just shake it. The thing was it was all fruits and a little oatmeal.

I decided on skipping the shake and I powered it down the sink. I decided on drinking some tea so my stomach could settle. It helped a little.

I made my way down to the gym where my trainer was. He smiled at me and I gave him a quick hug.

"Hey Mike how are you?" I asked him. Mike Newton was my trainer and he had been excellent over the years.

"I have been good, but how about you?" he smiled once more. "It seems like you haven't wanted to come see me in a long time." he fake frowned. Mike was so dramatic.

"Same, same." I shrugged.

"You look like you put on some weight, have you been working out?" he raised an eyebrow. If I have been working out? Does having tons of sex count? Sex is a workout.

"Well no I haven't. I was at my mom's for the holidays and my Grandma cooks tons." I was just making up any excuse. He still eyed me suspiciously.

"That doesn't look like weight gain caused by eating excessively. Are you sure you're not pregnant I can't have you working out if you are." He still eyed me carefully. He pulled me to a private corner and I knew I was going to hear it. "Listen if you're it's ok, if you don't know please make sure that you go check if you're. This is about your well being and I won't put a pregnant woman go through the training sessions we go through. Go visit my good friend doctor Trentacosta. I am pretty sure he would squeeze you in because I told him to."

I just nodded simply. He wrote the address down on a card for me. Mike said he would phone Trentacosta and let him know I was on my way. I didn't think Mike would actually care to do such a thing for me.

I took my car to the doctor's office. I took the car and it seemed like his office on 56th street. I didn't surprise me much. I wore dark shades and placed my hood over my face so I wouldn't get noticed much. As soon as I walked into the waiting area I went over to the nurse at the sign in desk.

"Hello I am here to see Doctor Trentacosta. I am recommended by Mike Newton." The nurse nodded her head and quickly whisked me to the end of a long hallway. She escorted me into an office of Doctor Trentacosta. The thought of the questions I would be asked scared me a little.

I was soon greeted by the older doctor. He was a man well in his sixties. He was balding with thick grey hair on his face and on his head. You could tell he was a well known obstetrician. The office was adorned with degrees, diploma in obstetrics. He had one in the United States as well as in Italy. There were also photographs of him delivering children which I am sure were his own children.

Just by looking around the room I could tell he meant business and was an excellent doctor. He sat down in his chair and smiled at me. I wondered what the heck I was getting myself into just by being in here.

"Mike let me know what his assumptions were. We can do the simple pregnancy test and know the results. What actually worries me is if you are pregnant would you get the treatment and follow directions so you have a healthy baby." My jaw fell slightly he knew that I would keep the child.

"Well I want to make sure that I am in deed pregnant. If I am then you can poke me however you wish." I laughed at my own corny joke.

"Well then go give me a urine sample so we can get rid of the actual doubt." He said.

He escorted me to a restroom and had the nurse attend me by handing me a plastic cup. I had to think of how I was going to make myself pee. I had to think of flowing thoughts so I could go. I thought of Aunt Alice's retarded pee pee song.

I did finally got myself to pee and I peed in the cup slightly. I went and gave the sample to the nurse and now to wait for my results. They were nerve wrecking and I just wanted to get the doubt of my head.

I was waiting in Trentacosta's office awaiting the results. I took my phone out and text Jake to let him know I was in the doctor's office about to know. He didn't respond to me and I found that odd. I didn't want to make a big deal about it in case he was in a meeting or working hard.

Trentacosta finally came in the room and he had my results. He sat down and looked very professional. Oh god I was pregnant his look said it all. The feeling of not know was making the anxiety worsen.

"Ms. Cullen you are pregnant. I want to see how far along you are if you let me do an ultrasound." My fears became reality as utter shock hit me hard. I was going to have the son or daughter of Jacob Black and not for the first time. This would be our second child together. As before the idea scared and made me happy. I was having mixed emotions for it. I wasn't ready to have a child at that point in time.

Jake wasn't ready as well. We were so wrapped up in our careers that it's impossible to have a child at the moment. Many different questions arise, different scenarios. They all kind of scared me as I was bombarded with utter and pure guilt.

"Sure." I said as I blinked rapidly trying to recover from that hit. It was still a little overwhelming. He took me to the ultrasound room.

I was lucky that I got all of this done in the same day. There was a "Technician" waiting to put the blue goo on my abdomen to check on the life form creating itself inside me. The feeling overwhelmed me a bit to actually get a glimpse and Jake wasn't here with me to enjoy it.

I lay back on the small bed and she lowered my pants down with paper and placed the cold blue gel on my abdomen. They made me drink tons of water before they did this. She didn't say much as she started clicking away at the computer. She ran the mouse on my stomach and pressed firmly down as she took the images.

I looked at the screen trying to figure out what squiggle meant what. I knew I wouldn't be able to decipher what it all meant. A few more minutes of pressing and clicking and her being quiet went by. She finally finished and I had to pee. I ran to the nearest bathroom and did pee.

I waited a little more I had spent most of my day in the doctor's office today. At least I got some answers. Dr. Trentacosta called me into his office once more. I sat down in the chair in front of his desks for the third time today.

"Well it looks like you're three to four weeks still very in the beginning of the pregnancy. I want you to come see me in two weeks if not go see a preferred doctor in two weeks, but do go to a doctor. That is pretty much for today." He smiled and I shook hands with him. I gave my driver a call to come pick me up so I could go home.

When I got into my building I don't know why I felt so fatigued. I just wanted to sleep off my worries. I knew I wouldn't be able to do much after my belly gotten bigger. I started worrying a little more then was needed.

I turned the key to my door and when I got in my apartment I placed my keys on the table in the hall. I was scared shitless when I saw Josue in my living room sitting on my couch. I seriously didn't expect to see him after our last encounter the day before.

"Josue what are you doing here?" I asked him, I really was curious to know. I did storm out on him maybe he should have waited until I gave him a call. Maybe I secretly was never going to make that call.

"I wanted to see you. You just walked out on me the other day. You never gave me an answer as to why you left. You didn't even call me to let me know you were ok. You had me worried." He went on and I felt some guilt begin to hit me like the usual.

"I am sorry I have just been going through some things." I sighed; I was going to tell him the one thing for sure that would break us up. "Josue I am pregnant," I said it fully and his face went into a puzzled one.

He was definitely not expecting that one from me. Maybe he will just get the clue that I don't want to marry him, that the kid isn't his. He placed his head in his hands.

"What? Repeat that once more." He looked at me and his green eyes held some innocence. Josue was older than me a man well in his early thirties. I didn't expect for him to react this way.

"I am pregnant!" I said as I crossed my arms.

"We're going to have a baby." A smile creped on his lips and it lingered there before it turned into a full blown grin.

I didn't know why with him I couldn't give him answers. It was like I was scared of giving him the wrong impression and then he screws me over. Josue is the proud type, you know that if you hurt him it will bite you back on the ass full blown and hurt you.

"We're getting married and having a baby. I couldn't see anyone having my child or being the mother of my child before I met you. There is just this motherly glow around you. You are an object of perfection mon amour." He got up from the couch and kissed me on my forehead. "My goddess." He whispered in my ear and I shuddered a little.

"Josue look I am tired I just want to go to sleep right now." I was still very fatigued and began to feel a little weak.

"Ok honey you and the baby rest." He placed his hand on my stomach and kissed my lips chastely. "I'll come back later in the night to check on you and we can get some take-out." I half-smiled as he walked out the door. I had no idea why I couldn't just tell him already.

He walked out and I went to my room and lay in my bed. I took my phone and called Jake. He was the only person I was looking forward to talking to today. It rang three times and I was scared he wouldn't pick up. I started thinking all the things that I shouldn't have thought of in the first place. The thoughts would just put me in a negative predicament later.

"_Hello?"_ Jake answered a little groggily. It was early in Washington so I didn't think he would still be sleeping. He obviously didn't even look at the caller Id to know I was calling.

"Hey babe," I sighed because I was going to tell him about my pregnancy. Me announcing my pregnancy to Jacob kind of freaked me a bit because we both didn't want this. "I hate lying Jake," I placed a hand on my stomach as I talked to him.

"_What happened mama?"_ he became a little more attentive now.

"Josue still thinks I am going to marry him, I surely don't want to." I sighed in the phone. Josue came back and he was in my door frame.

"Oh Renesmee I forgot to ask you when's the next appointment to go see our baby." He had a satisfied smile on his face and I didn't like it very much.

"Two weeks." I tried to hide the phone as much as I could. Josue raised his eyebrow and I could tell he was going to get a little possessive, which was a weird characteristic even for him.

"Who are you on the phone with?" he asked in a small aggressive tone.

"My friend…" I stuttered a bit. "She… just called me." I lied, but it wasn't the first time I have lied to him. He relaxed and then smiled.

"You should tell her about the baby, and for the wedding I was thinking in spring or summer." That shocked me even more that was so short noticed. We were in winter still and he wanted to get married in spring or summer?

"Ok," I half-heartedly answered.

"Get some rest please for you and the baby."

"I will I promise." I smiled at him. It came out forced, because that's all I could give right now.

"Ok, I'll come back later." He walked over and kissed my forehead. He finally left and I relaxed.

"Hello," I said back into the phone.

"_Oh so now I am a girl? Why not just tell him you were on the phone with me?"_Jacob sounded a little angry and I didn't appreciate his tone. _"I heard everything, you getting married to him and you pregnant too."_ His tone never lightened.

"Jake because I am pregnant by you!"I screamed into the phone, he didn't understand that part. Jake's possessive ways had a way of coming out. I didn't appreciate them much when I knew I wasn't lying to him.

"So you're going to tell me you never had sex with him?" he demanded to know the answer.

"Yea, but I am 100 percent sure you're the father of this child. You should be able to trust and believe me." I was getting beyond pissed by now.

"_It could be his too."_ Jake said, I knew he didn't want to admit that possibility. I was more than 100 percent sure the baby was Jake's.

"After all I been with through with you, you're still not going to believe me." my jaw fell.

"_Whatever why should I?"_

"Do you even fucking hear yourself? What happened to I just want you baby? That was BS wasn't it." I was pissed right now.

"_Me? You want to have a relationship with me yet you're still with fucking Josue. I am not going to share you with another man that's not how I work. If you want me you'll just want me. There will be no one else."_ He kind of yelled at me. if I was pissed before I was now furious.

"You're being your cocky self again I see. I explained to you last time. I tried it's not like I haven't been trying I have. I just can't do it."

"_You can do it you just choose not to." _

"Fuck you Jake!" I screamed into the phone. "I already explained to you my situation."

"_Then do something about it. Look I'll be out there in a week, we can talk then. If you don't end it with Josue I sure will."_ He meant business by his tone.

"Fine whatever you want." I sighed. Jake was the only person who can make me have mixed emotions all in one. We hung up and I lay in my bed still a little pissed at the conversation I just had with Jake.

Hopefully in a week things get better for me and I can dig myself out of the grave I am currently digging for myself.

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**I just realized I haven't done a Jake POV in awhile, Next chapter I'll try to squeeze one in and i'll make it hot for you guys ;D**

**Well Let me know what you think guys! LOVE YA! It is now 3:30 am and I am going to bed. I expect Reviews when I wake up in the morning at least two, ;D **

**well MUAHHZZZ- kisses from Jake they're hot. !  
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	14. Ch13 Pushing me to the edge

**A/N: Ok guys I am sorry for taking so long to update. I sprained my ankle. You would think that is more reason for me to stay home and write, but that wasn't the case. I have other reasons to which were taking up my time. Well At least I got this chapter up and it is 4 am where I am almost 4:30, but because I love you guys and this chapter was well over due. Here you go. Enjoy and Review. =]**

**Disclaimer: Sm owns this magic world owned twilight I don't own shit, but my characters and storyline. I wish I got paid for this.  
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Chapter 13: Pushing me to the edge.

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**Jacob**

I ran my hands down my face. The one thing that I didn't want at this point in time happened. Nessie was pregnant. I didn't want this to happen not yet. I was scared that if she was pregnant with my child I would hardly see her or my kid because I was so wrapped up with my job.

That was the last thing I wanted. When I realized there was a percentage the kid could belong to the prick ass bastard Josue I literally smashed a hole in one of the walls in my house. My father came over to see what was that happened.

"Jake are you ok?" he asked as he wheeled his way down the long hallway. I rubbed my knuckles to ease the pain a little. I hardly felt the pain because I was in such an enraged state. I hate that this is what I have been led to.

I didn't say a word to my father as I grabbed my car keys off the hall table. I was going to drive down to first beach so I could clear my head some. I got in my car and drove down to the beach. My only escape and the one place that has ever felt like home to me, La Push was my home.

I got out the car and walked down to the beach. I couldn't believe that even after so many years this place hasn't changed much. It preserved its beauty intact. I remembered some of my best times of my life happening on this beach.

I walked down to the rocks were I would normally sit down as a teen and look out at the water. It was still early in Washington, but the sun looked like it had plans of its own as it began to faintly shine through the thick swell of clouds that wanted to overtake the suns appearance.

I looked out and how the thick black water crashed against the rocks. The water had to be freezing we were in mid January. The realization my birthday was nearing and I only wanted one gift. No amount of money could give me what I wanted it was something that couldn't be bought.

I wanted to be able to claim the love of my life again, to be able to officially have her without having to be hidden about it. The media would probably have a field day with the things that were happening in my life at this point in time.

I was still very infuriated from the news Nessie gave me. Part of me shouldn't be mad, but it's just the very simple concept of believing there is a small chance he is the father of her child. I hated to admit it to myself.

I started to relax though. Being at first beach has always been able to do that to me. To relax me and be able to keep me calm. I relaxed once more. I smiled and I bet to an outsider that wasn't in my head I might have looked crazy. I started thinking of the positive I have had in my life and the amazing moments I spent on this beach.

As far as I could remember, I remembered my mom bringing my sister's and I to the beach. We would play as my father and she sat at the sand watching us splash away. I remembered my dad burning wood for fires and as he would tell us stories about our tribe.

I started to think of the first time I drank a beer. It all happened on this beach. The first time I lost my virginity it happened on this beach. This beach held too many memories for me and it greeted me warmly as always.

One memory that seemed to want to hit me hard was the one memory of me and Nessie on this beach. When we were getting to know each other, I remembered it so clearly. We were walking down the beach; she was the new shiny toy. Not to mention she was also a city girl. I was the small town player at the time. It's funny that at that time I only wanted to get in her pants. Look at where I am today though. I am utterly rendered helplessly by her. I just love her that much.

I failed my promise though. I remembered the promise I made to her on our first month anniversary it was a simple time back then and I was head over heels for her. I remember what I said so clearly like if I were living it in full livid color. The words just seemed to burn in my head.

_*** Flashback***_

_"I want to promise you something." I said seriously. Nessie had a confused face on like she had no clue what I had in mind._

_"Ok." She answered shyly. Her face looked momentarily scared or in shock, but I had to let her know what I felt for her and what I was willing to do. _

_I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her softly and tenderly. "I want you to know, I don't plan on going anywhere. I promise you I won't hurt you. I promise that the only thing I can do is make you love me. I promise this as long as you want to be with me. I promise that I will make you forget all the things that hurt you before and make sure you feel safe in my arms. I think that you belong with me I truly do." The words where truthful, I was willing to give her the universe if I could. _

_She smiled at me and her eyes said it all she wanted it. Every inch screamed she believed me._

_"I believe you."_

***End of Flashback***

That moment was so beautiful back then. I'll give anything to turn back the clock and live in that moment for ever. Everything for me was so peaceful and I felt so loved at that time. Not that I don't feel it now as well. I didn't keep my promise. I told her I wasn't going to go anywhere, which I wasn't going to hurt her. I left her.

Yea because she wanted me to, but it was the biggest mistake of my life doing that, I regret it. I lived my most depressed years after that. Yes I gained fame and money, but where does that lead me without one to share it with and to show me her love back. I am hurt.

Knowing she is pregnant and might be carrying my child for a second time. I wondered if I'll be getting my heir or heiress, the child apple of my eye. I didn't want Nessie to be some sort of trophy wife. I bet that's what frenchy wanted from her. She is just something good to look at from his perspective.

She meant everything more to me. I loved her more than my own life which shouldn't be that way. I guess I choose to make some stupid decisions which kill me in the end. I needed to have this moment to myself to detox myself of any bad energy around me.

Being here in one of the most peaceful places for me made everything less tense for me. I was ok with the idea of a child with my Nessie. I just knew that now wasn't the best time. We both worked a lot. We hardly saw each other as it is. We aren't together; she is still with another man. My life was a bit stressful at this point in time. I ran my hands through my hair it became colder then it was as a draft picked up. Just my luck it started raining. I had to get out of the rain so I ran to my car.

It had been exactly seven days. I hadn't shaved I wasn't eating right I never knew I could feel a little depressed. I had to think a lot about what I was going to say. Production at work was minimal. I have never felt like this in my life, even in the many years that I didn't have her.

I was on the plane on my way to New York. My head was pounding and all I wanted to do was take a small nap. I felt sick a little bit, but I wasn't so sure what was causing that.

I dosed off as I was on the plane. I didn't do my usual routine of reading the paper and drinking some coffee. It was early when I departed the airport in Washington. I was on my way to New York to face my problems head on. I still had no clue as to how I was going to approach this situation.

When the plane landed and I felt the difference as my ears had the annoying popping feeling. I was still momentarily deaf when I got off the plane and got my stuff. I was going straight to her house so that we could talk.

I did have some work to do and that was the reason I was going to New York, but all of that could wait. This seemed just a little more important to me at the moment. When I got my bag and got into the car. I told the driver to leave me at the hotel in where Nessie lived. I would just get a suite as well.

I got the room and asked the bell hop to take my things up to my room and I would be there momentarily. I paid him because I wouldn't be there to pay him later. I took the elevator to Nessie's for and I felt my shoulders get really tense.

I have never been nervous like this before. It was my girl though and I loved her more than anything. I just didn't feel she felt that way. She may be able to tell me she loves me, but words and feeling are two different things. If she loved me she would just want to be with me and I wouldn't have to be suffering what I am going through because she can't end it with Josue. It was seriously unfair to me. I had left my ex-girl for her and she couldn't do the same. It is like she is playing with me and I am slowly getting tired of it. Why would she have motives to even play with my heart that way?

When the elevator dinged and I was on her floor I walked off the elevator and took a breath. I walked down the hall and it felt like it would never end. I felt like I was in a bad dream that wouldn't end and this would be reoccurring. I guess I wanted to wake up from this semi beautiful nightmare.

I made it to the door and I sighed before I knocked on the door. She knew I was coming, but she didn't know exactly when and what time. I breathed deeply once more before dealing with the same BS I always deal with. It seems like it doesn't want to end because she won't commit.

I did get the courage to knock on the door and swallowed any ounce of pride that wanted to come out and run away with my tail between my legs. I heard light footsteps as she peeked through the peep hole to see who it was.

She opened the door with a smile on her face. She looked like she was glowing. She looked absolutely radiant. All the doubts I felt and anger they all disappeared when I saw the center of my universe. I converted myself into complete and utter mush for her. She let me in and as soon as she closed the door she pecked me lightly on the lips.

"Hi," she said simply and I relaxed completely. I analyzed my girl completely and she was a little thicker. She definitely wasn't showing yet, but the idea of this goddess carrying my child made me happy.

I couldn't help, but place my hand on her petite stomach and press a little. She was firm and there was a small little bump forming from the flat stomach I was used to. It was noticeable at plain eye sight, but because I felt it I knew. I got a little excited, to know she was going to give me my child.

"So you were telling me the truth." I smiled and ran my lips on her cheek. She simply nodded her head.

"Yea I was serious Jake." She walked over to the coffee table in the living room and picked up something. She handed me the picture and I looked at it. It was an ultrasound and it said Renesmee Cullen 4 weeks. All you saw was this little peanut looking thing and I knew that was our baby. I smiled.

I couldn't help but admire the thought. I picked her up and spun her in a circle as I kissed her passionately. This was a little exciting even though not so long ago I was mad at her. I didn't know where I was going to do with this.

Her lips came onto mines full as well as her petite lips were moving along with mines. I gripped her waist, but lightly as to not hurt her. I was hit hard with this news, even though I knew before hand. I guess actually seeing proof is a million times better.

I picked her up and carried her to her room. Her apartment looked a little different from what I remember. I placed her lightly on her bed and kissed her once more on her lips before I kissed her stomach.

Before I could do anything else I heard keys jingling and then hit a table. The front door was shut and I had to hear the most annoying voice I will ever hear.

"Renesmee! Mon amour!" he yelled contently I had to straighten myself out. I had to keep composure. I was two seconds away from breaking his face. He had to ruin this moment for us. Sad part about this was he was still in the picture. I now have the opportunity to say it in his face and finally end this.

Josue walked into the room to see Renesmee and me together. Of course his face wasn't a shocked one. Josue I believed to be a perceptive man. I wondered why he hadn't noticed anything between Nessie and me.

"What is he doing here?" Josue had a new tone in his voice he sounded almost infuriated with the thought of me being in his presence. What a fucking cocky son of a bitch.

"Josue I didn't know you were coming." Nessie straightened herself on the bed as she blushed like a small child would. I wasn't afraid of Josue and I was willing to do anything to claim my girl. "Nessie don't give him explanations. He doesn't deserve them." I said violently as my anger was only rising. "Don't talk to her that way." Josue had to intervene and I didn't like his attitude much. I was in the wrong for my tone, but it wasn't directed towards her it was directed towards him. "Listen you, She doesn't want to be with you obviously." I half-snarled as I was losing patience.

"She has no choice. She will be with me." he had arrogance written all over him. I didn't know what he had on her that would make him so sure of herself.

"Josue I can't be with you." Nessie whispered elusively as she didn't meet any of both of our gazes. I couldn't understand why she was so cowardly in his presence. He was no god he didn't have that right to dominate her by any means.

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Nessie**

The words I can't be with you barely left my lips as I was standing with my head hanging down. I was never this shy and I couldn't believe it took me so long to say these words to Josue; there was really no other way to do it. I stared at my fingers. My oh so swollen fingers. I wondered why they would be this way.

I evaded my gaze so I wouldn't have to look at either man's face. I was sure Josue had his jaw dropped. Jacob I presumed to have a cocky smile on his face and I was sure that would have been ok to look at.

But my body played me as a fool as my head looked up and I met Josue's gaze. The look on his face was one of pure shock. His green eyes were a deep emerald now and not their usual olive. I was afraid of what his action might have been, but he didn't say anything. He stood there completely silent. Jacob wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me to him in a defensive pose.

I felt safe knowing he would take care of me if anything happened. I placed my hand softly on his chest and place my head there too as I felt scared and shaky. That was a first for me. I had never felt scared of Josue and now I did. I seriously didn't know what he was capable of.

"Why would you do this to me?" Josue began to speak. His voice was still very audible, but it was low. "I gave you everything you wanted and more." His hands were firmly at his sides as he clenched his hands tightly into fists. "I treated you like a queen and nothing less. You were my muse, a mighty deity in my eyes." He swallowed hard as I saw this new brought pain and a dark tone surface. He was no longer my Josue that I sort of fell in love with. He was dark now; I didn't know this side to him. I assured myself that I didn't want to know it.

He retreated himself as he moved back three paces. He still had a defensive pose though I was afraid of what he might do though. "Have it your way. I am guessing you slept with him and the child you're bearing is his." He spat that out. I couldn't say any words so I just nodded my head.

"Just go!" Jacob yelled at him. It hurt me to see the expression on Josue's face. I didn't expect it and I was a little afraid as to what he might do. Josue is the strong type so I doubt a suicidal mission would be on his agenda.

Josue didn't say many words as he left silently. He left a strong tense environment though. I was afraid as to what might happen to him. I walked to the living room and noticed there were a couple bags left there. I opened them and saw what they were. One was a huge stuffed puppy for the baby. The rest were things for the baby. My eyes got lightly watery. It hurt me a little more to know he wanted to have something with me. He was really in love with me and I couldn't return the feelings because I was in love with someone else.

Jacob pulled me to him and I buried my face into his chest. I let myself cry because I didn't want to hurt someone, but it had to be done. We walked back into my bedroom where Jacob laid with me. He held me tight. I knew I had to be strong though. I had a tiny being growing in me who I needed to be strong for. I guess I was a little more emotional because of the pregnancy as well, even though I was only a few weeks in.

Two weeks had gone by and I was officially eight weeks pregnant. Things were good, I felt loved. I hadn't heard from Josue and I was pretty sure I wouldn't be hearing from him soon. I was slightly worried though. I didn't want to hurt him at all. It wasn't my intention to do so. It was just my heart belonged in a different place and it always would belong with Jacob.

I loved Jacob irrevocably and I was blinded at this point. My stomach was showing a slightly small bump that was beginning to surface. I loved the idea of having Jacob's child it made me smile with full and pure bliss. I love my Jake and to have a small piece of me and him was amazing.

My thoughts were interrupted by a faint knock on my door. It was light and I was estranged that they didn't ring the bell or the buzzer. After Josue left the last time he was here Jacob made me get the locks changed it was purely for my safety in case Josue wanted to come back and do something stupid. Josue hadn't shown his face so or any signs of life since that day.

I walked over to the door. "Coming!" I yelled so the person who was there would know I was on my way. I looked through the peep hole and my jaw was dropped in utter shock. I saw those same green eyes that captivated me since the first time I saw them. It was sad to admit, but I missed Josue in a weird way.

I opened the door slowly as I undid the first two locks then the chain lock. I let Josue enter my apartment, but I still had the shock look on my face. Josue had a smile on his face and I wondered why he would. I had broken up with him two weeks ago and I wanted to be with another man.

"Josue, What are you?" I couldn't finish the sentence because I was still in shock of seeing his angelic face again. Something was off in his new appearance. His eyes were a little darker and you could tell he had serious bags from not sleeping well in awhile. I closed the door behind him and I was waiting for him to answer. When he didn't I thought I should say something more. He just kept on smiling. "What are you doing here?" I finally blurted out still in shock.

He kept the smile on his face and folded his hands firmly behind his back. I was a little afraid I would admit that. I didn't know what Josue was capable of and I didn't know if I wanted to test him on it.

"I decided to forgive you my Reine (Queen)" he continued to smile. I wondered for what he could possibly forgive me for. I broke his heart.

"Forgive me for what?" I asked generally oblivious to what in the world he meant.

"I forgive you, I knew that what happened the other day was a mistake. I am willing on taking you back and having our perfect world again." He smiled and I didn't understand what he would be happy about. I didn't want him and if it wasn't clear to him the last time I said it, this time I wasn't afraid to let him know.

"Josue I don't want to be with you. I love Jacob he is the only man I would be able to love." I said forcefully and hopefully it got through to Josue.

"On the contra mon amour. You will not be with Jacob I forbid you to be with him." he shook his head. He pulled me into his arms that felt cold to the touch. He wasn't as warm as Jacob was. He placed his finger on my lips to shush me. I had a lot to say. He could never forbid me of being with Jacob.

"You can't forbid me. I will be with Jacob you can't tell me that I can't. I love him, plus we aren't together." I argued. I wasn't going to be told that I couldn't do something by one man. He wasn't my father or anyone of a high rank to give me orders.

"I think I have one way that would make you change your mind. You will marry me and be my wife. Let's say you have no choice." He chuckled a little sinisterly and I didn't like it.

"What do you mean I have no choice? I have the choice and I don't need you to tell me what to do. You aren't anyone to me." I yelled at him.

"If you don't marry me I will let's say kill your little Jacob. You choice be my wife and Jacob is safe. You deny, I will kill Jacob and the bastard child that is growing inside of you. If you're with me I'll make sure the baby is all well and fine and I'll take care of you two. Life in paradise mon amour." He gripped my chin forcefully so I could look at him. "The choice is yours." He smiled once more. I didn't think he had the guts to do such a task.

"You wouldn't."

"Ah but I would my dear. You obviously don't know me Renesmee. I have more power than you think. Fame has its advantages. I could kill Jacob and make it seem like a tragic accident. Just take a look at a magazine spread that could be in the future." He handed me a fake magazine which had on the front cover in large letters.

'_Tragic accident! Black motors mogul killed in fire at his home in Washington.'_

I gasped at the mere idea. Was Josue really capable of such an atrocity? I hated to believe it. I didn't want him to hurt Jacob or my child, but I wouldn't submit.

"How dare you try to blackmail me into this?" I barked at him.

"This way I know you won't leave me. I couldn't let a treasure like you disperse from my grasp honey. You are far too valuable to let go." he gripped my cheeks tightly and kissed me forced. I didn't want to agree to this. I knew he would do something so serious and I didn't want anything to happen to Jacob.

"Fine, but you won't hurt Jacob." I pleaded.

"I won't but you aren't allowed to speak to him. You are mine only. I will not let him become a problem in getting what I want. Renesmee don't try to test me. You wouldn't like me when I am angry. You haven't met my aggressive side. I have been way too easy on you. I promise I won't let it happen. By the way I have this place watched so you shouldn't try any funny business." He kissed me on my lips once more before he walked out.

I was now afraid. I didn't think Josue was capable of doing something so horrible. I didn't want to accept it. I hated that I had to agree to this, but I would do anything to keep Jake safe. I love him and I don't want anything bad to happen to him. If Josue was willing to take him away from me I wouldn't allow that to happen.

I would release my happiness just so that Jake would be safe. I didn't know where to turn to. I obviously couldn't do anything about the new situation that was brought onto my shoulders. I was pretty sure that no one was going to be able to help me either.

I didn't know if I should test Josue's authority, but I was willing to do it if it meant I could save myself slowly and gain some happiness. I didn't know how I was going to do it. If I was strong enough to truly ask for help from anyone. I was a scared little girl once more.

I was in a bottomless pit and I was sure I wouldn't find light anytime soon.

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**Hope you enjoyed and see why she goes through with the wedding. I seriously had to think about how it was going to happen. In the beginning I had a completely different idea for the change to be, but it just seemed to work nicely if I did it this way. **

**Leave me your POV of what you thought and if it was perfect or should be changed. Seriously get as hard as you want with me, because I need the criticism badly. It only makes me a stronger writer. Well it is 4:25am and I am going to bed. **

**Love you guys. =]  
**


	15. Ch14 My aching broken heart

**A/N: Soo like I said in my other story I am sooooooo soooooo sorry for my absence. I am back and I will try to update more frequently until the stories are done. For those who don't read my other story the reason why I have been gone so long is because I had been dealing with my life such as My music, School and other personal things in my life. Things are a little slower so I will try to update more. I didn't have time before so that's why no updates. **

**So to the reason why you love me so much, the story. Enjoy guys! =D**

**DISCLAIMER: SM owns Twilight.**

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**Chapter 14: My aching broken heart.**

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**A broken heart is a monument to a love that will never die; fulfillment is a monument to a love that is already on its deathbed.**

**Nessie**

Another week went by, I couldn't call Jacob. Josue had my phone tapped and he would know if I got in contact with him. He would know what I would say in my phone conversations. I felt like I was trapped with no escape. No one absolutely no one could help me in my dilemma.

I was scared Josue was going to do something to either me or my child. He had my Aunt Alice preparing the things for the wedding. I had no choice; I had to go through with this. I wasn't allowed to oppose. I had no will in this. I was an extreme and utter prisoner.

My father was happy I was getting married to Josue. He said it was a great honor and that Josue was a great man. If only my father knew what was the real situation. He wouldn't be so cheery about Josue. Josue makes Jacob look so good right now. I wanted more than anything to have Jacob in my arms once more. I cry myself to sleep now because I got so used to Jacob telling me good night every single night.

I could honestly admit I am a little scared to what is going to happen. I didn't know what to expect and I didn't like that outcome very much. I relaxed myself trying to calm my breaths. The only time I felt safe was when I was alone. There was a blaring knock on the door and I was startled by it.

I was afraid to know who it was. It was late and I didn't know who it could be. Probably it was one of Josue's goons who were watching the place. Not to mention it could be him. He had me on 24-hour watch and it seriously was annoying. I couldn't do anything.

I walked to the door getting ready to curse whoever it was out. I wasn't sweet to Josue anymore. I felt that I didn't need to be. He took the one thing that I ever wanted away from me. The only reason why I was going through with this was because I was protecting my child and Jacob, the only two things that matter the most to me in this world.

If I had to sacrifice my happiness just so Jacob would be safe then let that be. I wouldn't put him at risk because of my previous past with Josue. I wondered why I hadn't met this side of him before. It was so different. I didn't like it.

I opened the door. "What the fuck do you want now!" I said as I yanked the door open. The person that stood before me wasn't the person I was looking forward to seeing. I was in shock; I felt huge butterflies fluttering in my stomach now.

Knowing Josue had this placed watched I didn't want anything bad to happen. I knew I would hear Josue's mouth later. Jacob stood before me and his long beautiful hair was slightly wet because of the rain outside.

"Why haven't you called?" he asked. His voice was low and hurt. I didn't mean to hurt him at all. I loved this man and I would do anything for him. I immediately moved my gaze from being on him. I couldn't look him straight in the face.

"I think you should leave." I looked at the floor unable to look him in his face. Once again I was being that bitch that I was to him before. The difference this time was that I wasn't trying to be that with him. I sincerely loved him and I was hurting myself. I had a feeling Josue's goons would be on their way very soon.

Someone had to see Jake come into the Hotel. It wasn't safe to be this close to each other. I could just imagine the sort of expression that would suddenly spread across his face. I wasn't happy with treating him this way it sort of hurt me. If he came all the way here to know why I had been avoiding him meant he still cared strongly about me. One day I called him non-stop while the next I just stopped and it continued like that for awhile.

Talk about some serious mood swings. In this case it was none of that. I had to make it clear that I didn't want to see him. It was only putting him in danger and our baby as well. This couldn't be happening. I was in constant fear now and that wasn't my normal position.

"What do you mean I should leave? I come to make sure you're alright, and all you tell me is to just leave." I heard the hurt on his tone. I still didn't have the guts to look up at him. I just stared at the grey carpet of the hall way. "Can you at least look me in my face and tell me what's going on? Don't make me feel like an even bigger idiot." He was asking for explanations, explanations that I couldn't give to him. I had no will to tell him. I wanted to, but that would just complicate our situation.

"Jacob you have to go." My voice got a little stronger as I had the guts to raise my tone. As much as this hurt me I was happier to know he was safe in some way. I would kill myself if I knew something happened to him. I was so deep in love. It would probably be a tragic love story like in Romeo and Juliet. He would forever be my Romeo and I his Juliet.

I just can't live right without him. The only part now is I have to protect the child that we're going to have there is a third person here. I couldn't possibly make it just about Jake and I. How selfish would that be? If anything happened to this baby I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. The first baby didn't have a chance I would forever be known as a killer, in my eyes anyway.

I saw the camera in the hallway shift. That meant someone was definitely watching us. I couldn't risk it so I had to be rude now. As much as it pained me to do this it had to be done before someone came upstairs and hurt us both. I pushed Jake away from the door and slammed the door in his face. I knew he would be in shock by that, but Jacob is too stubborn he wouldn't listen to me. He continued to knock on the door and I ignored it as I went back into my room.

The tears fell from my face like hot rain. I sat by the window pane this time and watched out. The rain continued to pour down as I stared out my window. I knew no good would come from this attempt, but I had to at least try. If this was the only ways to make sure things were safe then they had to be done.

Once more I cried myself to sleep, only this time it was worse.

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Jacob **

She had been ignoring me. Today just proved to me how she really felt. Why would she be like this to me? She had to be in her position once more to push me away. I don't know what goes through her mind. I wish that once, for just once I could know what she was thinking. It would just make me have a better understanding of what goes on through her brain.

For just once I want to not get hurt. Why does she fucking do this to me? I banged my hand against the wall of the room. I constantly do shit so she can believe me trust me, love me. All I fucking get is a slam of a door to my face. Maybe I shouldn't get mad it might just be her hormones. _Jacob she is going to be the mother of your child._ That's what my brain kept playing back to me. I wanted to believe it was the mood swings from the pregnancy.

Deep down in my heart I knew that wasn't the case. This situation was far worse than I could even fathom. Something deep down in my heart was telling me this was all wrong and I had to do something. She wasn't the girl I loved. I saw fear in her eyes as if someone were forcing her to be the way she is. If I ever find out that's the case I will fucking kill the person responsible.

I slid down the wall and held my knees close to my chest. This was the first time in a long time I just wanted to break down. My heart was slowly breaking and I had no idea how to fix it without her, she was my hearts medicine and I couldn't live without it.

Her rejection only further angered me, but I wanted to just think this was all do because of the pregnancy and nothing else. I wanted that to be the case. I prayed to god that's what it was. Deep down I knew it wasn't.

I needed to solve this problem and figure it out before I spontaneously combust. My heart ached and I rubbed my chest to sooth it, but I got no positive result as the pain in my chest only got worse. I am not a man of tears, but they began streaming down my face. I have never given motives for weakness but she rendered me completely hopeless without her.

Without her there was no me. I wanted to believe that I was just dreaming this and it was nothing more than a horrible nightmare. I wanted all this pain to just go away and never come back.

Such as when we are children and we begin to sing, Rain, rain go away come back another day. That's all I wanted for this pain, for this nightmare. I wanted it to go away I wanted my life to be straight again and I wanted my girl, this time for her to become Mrs. Black. I didn't want to wait anymore. I just want her.

I woke up the next morning with a sore neck and my back sore. I fell asleep on the floor. I knew I was a horrible mess if I let this happen. I felt soulless and Nessie's rejection just hurt me even more. I didn't want to bother her anymore, so I was going to let her come to me. I wouldn't look for her. If she wanted me she knew where I would be. I am not a hard person to find.

I wouldn't pressure her, nor would I stress it. It would be completely her choice if she wanted me. I had to let her breath I couldn't be possessive, even though that's what I am a possessive son of a gun. I would do anything to keep anyone away from her. She is mine and no one else is allowed to her. I am protective of what is mine and Renesmee is mine only.

I settled on getting some work done since I was in New York anyway. As much as I didn't even care about work at this minute that's the only thing I knew would keep me busy. On my lunch break my assistant brought me a newspaper and a magazine. She said to keep me entertained. For me it was just another day in my office having lunch again. I normally did that to solve my problems and drown myself in work.

I looked at the paper and what I saw made me blank out and see red. "Josue Cartier and Renesmee Cullen (Vanessa Swan) will be married in a matter of a month." I couldn't believe what I was reading. This was all wrong impossible. I refused to believe it.

How could she? I bet she did it because he had status, a man who came from a last name, a white man. It had to be that. I banged my hand against the mahogany of my desk. My heart was aching again. My throat became really dry and it began to burn. I was a toy to Renesmee she didn't really love me. It was all a game. I banged my hand again and then placed my elbows on the table and ran my fingers through my hair angrily. I was beyond pissed right now.

No one was going to be able to fix my mood at the moment.

**

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Nessie**

White flowers, purple flowers, red flowers, blue flowers, yellow flowers, pink flowers, I repeated as we walked through the florist shop. Alice was forcing me to pick flowers for a wedding that I didn't even want to go through with. I hated it, being forced for the wedding, being forced into the stuff for said forced wedding. I hated it all.

I placed a hand on my stomach as it grumbled, my baby was hungry and he or she was craving a steak XL burger from burger king along with some chicken nuggets. I also wanted a chocolate milkshake.

"Alice I am hungry!" I whined to her and she turned around and gave me a death glare. "Remember I am pregnant." I went on. She couldn't say no to a pregnant woman.

"Just pick the arrangement and we can go." she said nicely. I looked around, but carefully because Alice would have my head on a platter if I didn't pick the right arrangement.

"This one." I picked a couple white lilies. She smiled.

"Good choice, but orchids go better." She went prancing off to the back somewhere.

"Alice I am hungry." I complained, I hate this so much. I might be more motivated if I were marrying the man I love.

"Josue will be very upset if you don't put much effort in this. I still don't understand your decision, but I don't judge you." she shrugged and smelled some flowers.

I just sighed deeply trying to ignore this was really happening. All I do is cry now since I am depressed. I try not to be, but my emotions are crazy right now because of the baby. I smile just thinking of my little boy or girl I placed my hand gently on my stomach. Just to think I love your father more than anything on this earth.

My child was the only thing that kept me sane and actually going through with this. The thing that hurts me is that my child might not know who its real father is. People might suspect something if my son or daughter comes out being really tan skin when I am pale as snow and so is Josue. We both have fair skin.

Jacob is my sweet, sweet caramel. The need for him to fill me just increased tenfold since just thinking about how he touches me turns me on. I nibbled on my bottom lip just thinking about it.

"Earth to Renesmee!" Alice snapped me back to reality.

"Yes?"

"We can leave now." She chimed. I sighed because all I wanted was my Jake back. She pranced out of the flower shop as we know got in her car and headed to get something to eat. Hopefully this doesn't affect me in a long run, my decision to be away from Jake that is.

After we got some food Alice took me home. The person that was there waiting for you made a permanent scowl on my face. Josue.

"What are you doing here? You're not supposed to see the bride before the wedding." I said bitterly.

"That's in a wedding dress mon amour. What was Jacob doing her yesterday?" he gripped me by my shoulders tightly and shook me. "You told him to come didn't you?" his fingers and nails were so tight and I felt his nails dig into the skin on my shoulders.

"Josue let go of me, you're hurting me." I said in whispers, I was afraid of him. I didn't want him to hit me or hurt my baby.

"Answer my fucking question Renesmee!" He yelled at me and I couldn't help but feel helpless. I didn't want to answer his question; I knew if I told him the truth he wouldn't believe me either.

"He came, I didn't tell him to come. I am not stupid enough to let that happen after our deal Josue. I wouldn't do that!" I yelled the last part. His eyes searched mines for any sign of lies. I held not one.

"I have a feeling you're lying to protect him! What the fuck does he have that I don't? I have everything if more." I didn't understand where the competition was coming from. I fell in love with Jacob no one will ever be able to take him out of my heart so easily. Jacob is imprinted in my skin and he will forever continue to be.

"He first of all respects me and loves me in a non sickly way like you do." I was mad at myself for saying that out loud. I knew I would feel his wrath for that comment. His nostrils flared from his newly enraged state.

He gripped my arm tighter and dragged me out of my apartment. I had a feeling I would no longer be safe.

"Where are you taking me?" I asked genuinely scared of what was going to happen to my future that now seemed super blurry.

"A place in where I know you will not disobey me. Why can't you be a good woman and just obey your man." I didn't like what he was saying. I am a very independent woman and don't like to be submissive it isn't in my nature when I love to be free.

"Please don't hurt me." I pleaded as his grip just became tighter. I felt the tears fall from my eyes as I became scared again. I felt like crawling under a rock and never coming out. I didn't like the treatment I was enduring right now.

"I am not stupid enough to hurt you, but I will be sending your little Jacob a present so he knows not to mess with my property." He was now smiling mischievously. I didn't like it so I definitely didn't trust it.

I didn't say anymore words as he pushed me into a black van. I had a horrible feeling I was being kidnapped, but I knew I couldn't oblige any I said or did could be held against me. I felt like I was being arrested.

I just prayed to god that nothing bad happened to me and wished me no harm. That's all I really wanted I also wanted for god to protect Jacob I didn't want him getting hurt and it's my entire fault. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if that happened.

When the Van finally stopped it was at some sort of warehouse. I wondered what we could possibly be doing at some warehouse. I didn't like this one bit it screamed horror all over it. Josue grabbed me by my arm once more I felt like kicking him and running off, but I had no clue how affective that would be when his gorillas were all around this compound.

"I have a surprise for you." he smiled. I didn't know if I would like this so called surprise. He pulled me into a secluded room in the warehouse. The room was dark until he flipped a light switch on.

The room revealed to what had to be a two way mirror. The lights in the next room flipped on with a fluttering flicker. The thing I saw next made tears fall from my eyes. My heart began to ache and I wanted to run to him.

Josue had Jacob chained to a chair with a blind fold to his eyes and a cloth stuffed in his mouth. I didn't think he were capable of being such a monster to Jacob.

"You're a monster!" I yelled at him as I covered my mouth to stop my whimpering. I didn't want my Jacob to get hurt at all. "Let him go! Take me please! Just let him go." I was on my knees now pleading. This was something I would never do with anyone else.

"You have to learn to listen to me." He walked out of the room and one of his goons watched my every move. I couldn't peel my eyes away from the window watching to what was going to happen, As much as I didn't want Jacob to get hurt.

I saw clearly when Josue looked my way and winked at me. He grabbed a metal bat and I saw as he was going to whack Jacob with the bat. I could already feel the pain before Josue even swung. I didn't want to see this. My heart was racing far more then I could even control it. The tears streamed down my face.

I winced as I saw Josue whack Jacob once and then twice again rapidly. I couldn't help but scream. I couldn't let this happen. I tried to push the goon who was watching over me, but I failed. He grabbed my wrists and didn't let me go as the tears fell from my eyes.

"Let me go!" I yelled through my sobs. "You can't let him do that to him!" I screamed. "Please don't hurt him anymore!"

I saw as he let the metal bat fall to the floor and began punching Jacob in his face. I saw how Jacob's body reacted to the blows. I could only cry, I didn't have much more of a choice.

I watched as Josue brutally abused the love of my life. I got a hold of my stomach and rubbed slowly. I prayed that nothing would happen to me. I didn't want a thing to happen to Jacob, but I pushed Josue's buttons I didn't think he was capable of doing something this horrible.

I didn't know if I was going to lose the love of my life tonight. I prayed to god that he would survive this. I didn't want to lose Jacob, without Jacob I couldn't live. My sobs became stronger as I felt I could no longer breathe.

After a few more minutes Josue and another one of his gorillas finally stopped. The abuse the made Jacob endure was brutal. I wanted to kill Josue for doing such a thing, none the less making me witness this brutality.

Josue walked back into the room as he took off the bloody gloves he was wearing. The blood that belonged to the love of my life, I ran to Josue and banged on his chest. "You're a monster! How could you do that?" I screamed at him. I wanted to kill him. My furry was at an extreme high right now.

"You should have listened to me and drop contact with him. I am the only man in your life. I am the only one who can have you. I will eliminate anyone who gets in the way." He gripped my shoulder once more.

I was scared now. I didn't want to get hurt. I didn't want anyone to get hurt. This was my entire fault and I couldn't do anything about this. What was I supposed to do when I was completely weak?

What was I to do now?

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Jacob**

I didn't know where I was. I woke up on the concrete floor. My head was pounding like a mother fucker. I don't remember anything of what happened last night. The sun was shining brightly and hit my eyes. The light was also burning my skin.

I felt the wet floor probably from the rain. I opened my eyes and noticed I was laid out on the asphalt of a parking lot. Where I was I had no idea. The ground was wet and I was only in my work shirt as I was missing my blazer.

I licked my lips to notice it burned and I had dried blood on them. I tried to get up, but fell back down from the soreness in my body. I knew something brutal had to have happened to me last night. I just didn't know what it was.

I wondered who could have possibly have done this to me. I don't remember a thing that's what's strange. The only thing I remember is leaving my office to go back to the hotel. After that everything is a blur. I don't remember a thing and that's what was bothering me.

I tried to fish around and snake my hand so that I could reach my pocket and look for my phone. I couldn't move. My body was being irresponsive. I didn't know what was going to happen to me. I had an idea of someone who had something to do with this. I had many enemies I just knew of two who would stoop so low to do this. It had to be Edward or Renesmee. I don't know why I could even suspect of her.

This didn't make any sense to me. Edward has always hated me since the day he met me. Renesmee was pushing me away this had to be a way for Edward to make sure I permanently stayed away from his little girl. I don't think Renesmee's French boyfriend had anything to with this. To me he was too weak for it.

If anyone had anything to do with this it had to be Nessie's father. I felt it deep down in my heart that it was him trying to keep me away from his daughter. This only killed me even more.

"Oh my lord!" I heard a woman's voice scream. I was glad that someone would be able to help me. I couldn't move and when I tried to yell for help my mouth couldn't respond as no words were coming out.

The woman walked closer to me and hunched down to meet me eye level. My eyes were open. I fluttered them so she knew I was alive. I needed medical attention. I knew I wasn't going to die, but I was very close.

"Johnny! Call an ambulance! He needs help quick!" She yelled at another man to get some help. "Don't worry you're going to get help soon." She talked to me slowly and clearly. I looked at this woman's features and the thing that stood out to me was her chocolate brown eyes. They were similar to the ones who belonged to the love of my life.

Minutes later an ambulance showed up. I didn't want any of this to get out, it was so my life could be down key, but I knew that wasn't going to happen. I was placed in the ambulance and it sped off to the nearest hospital.

When I got to the hospital I learned that I was in Brooklyn. I had no clue how I ended up in Brooklyn none the less in the middle of a parking lot early in the morning not remembering the events that led up to me being in a hospital.

The medics attended me, but I still couldn't say anything. I learned that the woman who found me her name was Jenifer. I had to thank her; if it wasn't for her I don't know how much longer I would be in that parking lot bleeding to death.

The medics told me I took a good couple of blows and I was lucky to be alive. I still wasn't sure who would do this to me, but my suspicions always went back to Edward Cullen.

Jenifer came to see me when I was already patched up and in a room. I had finally gained my ability to talk again. According to the doctor I got the wind knocked out of me so bad to the point my body couldn't respond with words.

I smiled when I saw her and I had to thank her. She sat in the chair next to my bed and I wondered why she cared so much. Did she recognize who I was and expected some money in return?

"I wanted to thank you, you saved my life." I answered sincerely. She smiled and told me to shush my putting her finger to her full plump lips. She was light and had a couple beauty marks on her face. Her hair was a shade of dark red a burgundy. She was still very beautiful. I knew she was some type of Hispanic when I analyzed her more profound.

"Don't worry about it; you don't have to thank me. What I did was what I thought was right." Her voice was angelic and I thought for a second she might be an angel watching over me.

"I have to let you know I would do anything for you since you saved my life. If you need anything know you have me to count on." I smiled at her.

"Trust me I couldn't even take that. I did a good deed and I don't expect anything in return." She pushed a loose piece of hair behind her ear. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her.

"Please I can't let this just end like this. At least when I get out of here let me take you out to dinner or something." I wanted to do something nice for her.

"Are you hitting on me?" she smiled and I laughed back.

"No I am being friendly." I smiled and she smiled back. Her smile was gorgeous. For a moment I forgot about Renesmee. For a minute.

"Sure, but I would like for you to get better. Then we will see. I just realized I don't even know your name." She lit me up as I began to blush. I hadn't blushed in a really long time.

"My name is Jacob." I blinked continuously as I felt embarrassed that I didn't say it before.

"Your name fits you perfectly. It's beautiful just like you." I saw her cheeks tint pink. I guess she spoke out of terms and she was embarrassed like me. "I am sorry I didn't want to surpass myself since I am still a stranger." She blushed once more and her blush was cute.

She had nothing to be worried about, I was a single man and the woman I loved was getting married to another man. I tried as much as I could possibly do. I guess maybe I didn't try hard enough.

"Don't feel ashamed, I am a stranger now yes, but I won't be for long."

"That's a great thing to know." She smiled and pushed the piece of hair behind her ear that went back in front of her eyes.

I really thought that Jenifer would become something in my life I just wasn't sure of what. Maybe this was a sign that Renesmee wasn't for me. Maybe we weren't for each other and this is my second try.

God gives us signs that we fail to see until we get the one that is so obvious. Maybe this is one of those signs for me. Maybe I just need to start completely fresh. Just maybe.

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**Now that this Chapter is up, Please continue to Review and don't stop supporting my stories just because I have been neglecting them. As to the whole Jenifer thing, you'll just have to wait and see what happens. Now leave your questions, what you think? what you expected. I am looking forward to what you have to say for this chapter guys. =D hope you enjoyed. **


	16. Ch15 Can't End!

**A/N: This chapter was supposed to be up on Wednesday, but I got side tracked. This Chapter isn't that long and I don't really know what to say about it. It has a little bit of idk you judge when you review. I was kind of upset with the amount of Reviews I got, but my main readers have stayed faithful and I thank you guys for that so I would dedicate this chapter for you, but I am not to proud to do that. Well Love ya and if you like this story please review, and tell me what you think. New readers don't be shy and tell me what you thought . Well Enjoy!**

***Minor rape scene. *  
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**Disclaimer: SM owns twilight I unfortunately don't. *Sigh*  
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Chapter 15: Can't End!

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**Nessie**

I was mortified of what I actually witnesses just one day ago. I felt miserable. I kept thinking to myself what if he killed Jacob? I couldn't think of one thing more than that. I felt like crying and doing nothing more than that.

I couldn't think of anything more than that. My stomach felt weak, but my heartfelt weaker than I could ever possibly feel. I didn't know if this new brought feeling was brought upon the gruesome events that I witnessed. My body shuddered at the thought of the love of my life now being a bloody corpse.

Even if I wanted to know what happened to him I knew it would be impossible. Josue would be the first to forbid me of even trying. As much as I knew his views were unjust, I knew I had no say if his next hit were against me. I knew he would make it seem like a tragic accident the way I had a miscarriage. I knew I would protect my child with my nails and teeth if I needed too.

This kind of thing made the hairs on my skin stand up on end. My bell rang and I was scared out my skin as I jumped and slightly yelped. I reckoned it would be someone from my family. I sadly raise my slump on the arm chair and sighed deeply as I ran my hands through my loose hair and tousled it nervously.

I looked through the peep hole as accustomed and it was my Aunt Alice with large bags at her side. _Oh great more wedding preparations._ I sighed once more as I undid the locks.

"Hey Alice." I greeted trying to keep my new mood normal. I didn't want to show any signs of sadness in my soul, even though someone who knew me best would know I was obviously upset.

"Did you forget how important today is and you're not even dressed yet!" she scolded me with her menacing eyes. I swear to my unborn child I had forgot due to the events that I endured the night before. I kind of wanted to forget about the world as I just wanted to crawl under a rock.

"It must have slipped my mind. Please come in." I forced a smile and she came in with her large smile and twinkling eyes.

"Well this is a way for your family and your betrothed's family to bond. I know it's going to be amazing since I planned everything myself. Ice like string lights, white and red table arrangements, it's going to be amazing." Alice had that dreamy glazed look on her face I couldn't help but frown. This wasn't as exciting to me since I didn't have any interest in it.

"Sounds beautiful." I nodded and forced another smile. I didn't know how I was going to get through this dinner if my brain was still clotted with the thoughts of Jacob.

"Is something troubling you? You seem a little distant today." Alice put on her concerned face and I knew she really meant it this time. I sighed deeply and I didn't know how I was going to give her a straight answer. I couldn't let anyone know that I witnessed a murder last night. I witnessed two murders last night, Jacob's and my hearts.

"No just a little pre marital jitters, All brides get them." It was all a cover up. I would never be nervous for something I couldn't even let happen. This had to end. I just didn't know how I was going to end it without provocation of a major scandal, most certain a death.

"Oh ok. Well go get dressed in that navy blue cocktail dress we got a week ago. That's the outfit I want for you to wear for the dinner tonight." She smiled as she signaled her bag to me. "I have accessories." She sounded content which I obviously wasn't. I wouldn't be until I knew Jacob was safe and not murdered.

I walked to my bedroom and tried to slip myself in the blue cocktail dress that just a week ago fit me perfect and now fit all wrong. I didn't know how my breast had swollen up in such a matter in only a week. My breasts were popping out of the top and my belly stuck out even more from the cocktail dress making it impossible to zip up from the back.

"Alice!" I yelled for my aunt as I felt like a fat sausage in the dress I once loved. Alice rushed into my room and saw my dilemma as she started laughing bluntly without remorse.

"Looks like your showing all that glorious pregnancy weight." She chuckled once more and I didn't find it funny.

"Looks like I am wearing sweat pants today." I smiled and chuckled on my own account. Alice's jaw dropped. I knew with her fashion expertise she wouldn't allow me to leave the house like that. This was a formal dinner in where we would introduce our families. It was a big deal in showing the future bond of this union. I personally didn't give a fuck and just wanted to stay home and slump in my own self remorse. I wanted to consider myself as a murder an accomplice if Jake really didn't survive the brutal beating Josue had given him.

I sighed and sat on the edge of my bed as we tried on five more outfits and nothing fit. I felt like a fat cow. Thank god I had bought a maternity wedding dress and it would be perfect by the time I needed it.

"Alice nothing fits. I am not going I don't care." I placed my elbows on my thighs and my palms to my cheeks. I felt like such a child and expressed myself as such.

"Ness we will find something I know we will." She smiled and her words were encouraging. She took her cell phone out of her bag and dialed a number. She walked out of the room and into the hallway for a more private conversation.

I wondered what she could possibly be hiding. It would be easily if she spoken her conversation in front of me. It didn't add up to me.

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Jacob**

I was finally released from the hospital and Jenifer said she wouldn't be at peace until I was safely at my place. I smiled at her and I knew she was an extraordinary woman. She wore some tight dark blue jeans that hugged the curves of her hips and the large round bump that was her ass. I hadn't noticed how curvy she was before. She had a normal sized breast and a tiny waist and her face was remarkable.

I normally wasn't into the extremely thick curvy woman since I am more into the petite woman. My thoughts went into a naughty place as I felt myself hardened slightly of the swaying of her hips. I hadn't been driven mad before by a woman since. Nessie, the guilt began to eat at me slightly as I just reminded myself of her name.

Jenifer noticed my new look that sported on my face. She frowned as she noticed. She tossed her hair against her left shoulder and smiled at me. I saw the dimples that appeared on her cheeks as well as how her eyes twinkled. She was truly and amazing woman.

"What's eating at you?" she asked generally concerned. I knew she could read my emotions something most people aren't able to do.

"Just things from the past, that shouldn't have surface to torture me." I wasn't called for. I wasn't supposed to open up to a complete stranger even if it was the woman who saved my life. I was thankful for that I truly was.

"She's a fool." Jenifer smiled at me and the twinkling gleam in her eyes became more radiant.

"What?" I asked as I raised my right eyebrow.

"She is a fool for leaving you." She stopped on the sidewalk as we were in front of the hotel I was staying at. I decided to get a hotel further away from Ness as possible. I made sure my assistant got to it.

"How do you know it's a love conflicted situation?" I asked teasingly as I licked my lips. I was waiting for a more passion lust filled reaction, but she just shrugged.

"Jacob guys like you are the kind that has had plenty of women and then one woman comes along and steals their hearts. It tends to leave you broke and hurting for awhile. Then when the woman who is right for them comes along you don't see it until you lose her. I have a feeling you're conflicted between two crossroads." She gestured with hand signs throughout her whole little speech. She left me speechless she hit it right on the nail without getting anything wrong. How she was able to read me so well I would never know.

"How do you know that? Have you been reading magazine articles with me?" I tried to make a joke and I think I epically failed. She laughed and I raised my head from the small attempt that I thought I failed.

"I seriously didn't know who you were until you told me. I am not really into the tabloid thing. I think people should just let famous and rich people breath. We are all just people. And how I knew about your love confliction is I can read your eyes. You aren't hard to read Jacob." she smiled once more as I stared at her plump red lips. Her lips were a dark shade of pink I had saw them nude before, but today she had a pretty shiny red to her lips. She looked older, but mature.

"You're amazing!" that line slipped from my lips without wanting to and I saw how Jenifer's cheeks tinted a bright pink without her wanting it.

"Maybe we should just do that dinner." She suggested and I nodded contently. We made our way to a small Italian restaurant. I didn't want to make a great scandal and it was quite casual for us to get to know one another. I felt comfortable with Jenifer and I wasn't so sure why I was.

She was a young, gorgeous woman and I didn't know if she was single so I didn't want to lead myself on if she wasn't and she was compromised.

"So let's get to know each other." I rubbed my palms together and she smiled at my eagerness. I liked that.

"Well my name is Jenifer call me Jenny, I am twenty-two. I am still in college, I am studying psychology. I am dreaming to become a psychologist you have to admit I am pretty good." She smiled and she was right she was good.

"Are you single?" I couldn't help, but ask that question. She blushed and I was expecting the worst right now. I had a feeling she was taken. An amazing woman like her had to be taken and adored.

"Well actually I am single." She blushed again and my jaw dropped. I couldn't believe this. A smile teased my lips as a sudden rush of excitement rushed through me.

"Well that is hard to believe. You are beautiful, young, smart, good. I bet the list goes on." She blushed once more at my words and I loved her humbleness.

"Thank you Jacob, how about you? Are you single?" she asked and my heart skipped a beat. I didn't really know what I was at the moment. I had never felt more confused in my life. Last time I checked I was with Nessie, but now I didn't know what I was. Since she pushed me away the other day and then getting brutally attacked I knew it somehow connected with Nessie just not sure how.

"I seriously don't know what I am to be honest. I am single, yet I was in a relationship that never formally ended." I couldn't help but frown at my turmoil.

"Well let's test my psychologist skills and see if I'll be a good therapist. We can talk about it later in private so you can feel more open to share. I guarantee my silence of what we talk about and I won't charge you for the session." She smiled and giggled slightly and I loved it. I couldn't help but join in on her small joke.

"Thanks I guess, I never really talked about this with anyone. I guess I am not a man to share his emotions." I shrugged.

"I think you are, you just need someone that you can trust to clear your thoughts." She was right though as much as I wanted to reject the idea. I needed to clear my mind completely.

"Sounds good, I am sure I can trust you Jenny." I winked at her and she just looked at me seriously as she raised her eyebrow. I guess my charms didn't really work on her much. I was shocked the least because my charms always worked on women, even on Ness as much as she'll try to deny it.

"Dinner looks good." Jenifer snapped me out of my thoughts when the waiter brought the main plates to us. I couldn't stop thinking about what I did wrong in my relationship with Nessie. I guess I was still hoping I could fix it someway.

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Nessie**

Breathe. Don't forget to breath I reminded myself as I was in the town car on my way to the hall Josue rented for the dinner. I didn't want to show my face to a place that was proposed out of only lies. It wasn't fair to our families. It wasn't fair to our hearts.

Alice had called Laycie to get me a new gown. I hadn't spoken to Laycie in so long and I currently lived in New York. I didn't even speak to Samantha my little sister. She was coming with my parents since my father wanted to bond with her. Also my little brother Brandon was coming as well. My whole Family was coming along with Josue's Family.

I didn't know if I wanted to really look forward to that in counter or not. I just wasn't happy and I knew the people who knew me the best would know I wasn't alright. I couldn't oppose to anything Josue would just find away to torture me further.

I held my breath one more as I stared out the car window. I wanted to cry so badly, but I couldn't smudge my makeup and feel my aunt's wrath. I kept on breathing that's all I could do. When the car stopped my heart began beating so hard as if someone was beating on it like a drum.

"Ness are you ok?" Alice asked me and I just nodded trying to not show how obvious my depression was.

I got out the car and was greeted by fresh rain. The rain was showing how my emotions were at that point. The wet dark coldness that was replacing my heart slowly, that was exactly the affects of the night rain.

_Let's get this over with._ I thought as I walked into the building. We walked down to the hall Josue rented. Everything was exactly as Alice said, whites and reds adorned the room with string lights and little lamps that went along the room with round tables. I didn't know how many people were coming. I knew from my part a lot since I have a lot of family.

I had no words. Everything was beautiful. I just wasn't happy. I knew I should eat something, but I wasn't hungry.

"Nessie!" I familiar voice shouted, but it didn't get through me as I continued in my zombie like state. I turned to be hugged so tight. It was my little sister I gave her a forced smile and hugged her back. "What's wrong why are you acting like this?" Samantha knew me. Not as well as Justin who knew me like my shadow, but she knew me.

"I am fine, just a little bit of pregnancy hormones you know." I lied, that's all I have been doing lately. It was out of habit and only one man was to blame for my constant lying. The man I was going to marry, that evil man.

As if on call that man came into the room. I bet he was just thinking of ways to make me suffer further. He walked over to me and kissed my forehead. I knew it was all to show that he cared. It was all a big front. He wanted to prove that he loved me even though I never would. He was a monster in my eyes.

"I missed you mon amour." He said as he nestled the side of my head. I wanted to push him away and tell him he was a murderer.

"I actually wanted to talk to you my love." I said seething. He knew I had many questions about what happened last night. I needed to know if Jacob was still alive. If he was ok, I knew Josue's jealousy would get in the way if I asked him.

"Sure we can talk." He flashed his pearly whites to me. He gripped my waist showing me to a more quiet place where we could talk. We ended up in the side staircase in which no one uses. "What did you want to talk about honey?" He ran his nose against my neck as he was invading my personal space. I didn't care for the gestures he was giving me. I found him repulsive and could never imagine being with him.

"Did you kill Jacob?" I said as I pushed him off me slightly. I could still feel him near me and I didn't appreciate it. I could hear his huffing, but I refused to look him in the face if he was the murderer of the love of my life as well as my heart.

"You would love for me to say no." He snickered and I didn't appreciate the tone. I wanted to take a knife and jam it in his throat. The idea was appealing to me making me want to smile.

"Can I just have an answer that's all I want, is he ok?" I kept my face strong not showing an ounce of weakness even though I was so fragile at the moment.

"No he is dead. Let's just say he is currently sleeping with the fishes." He looked at his nails and showed all his un-interest. He was a monster he had no remorse. I wandered what else he had done and what he was willing to do. My face fell blank and I wanted to believe that what he was saying was all lies and that Jacob was still somewhere and that he was safe now.

"You're a monster." I whispered not wanting to feel his wrath anytime later. His boredom turned into a wicked smirk. I was afraid of what he was going to do soon. He gripped my wrist and pinned me to the wall of the staircase.

"You want to see a monster I will show you a monster!" he said full of venom and acid. He pinned me tighter to the wall to the point his body was pressed against mine hard. I couldn't move and I could barely breathe. He kissed my mouth and I was afraid of what he was going to do next.

I had a feeling he was going to abuse of me. He was going to rape a pregnant woman. He took one hand and with that one hand pinned both of my hands above my head.

"You shouldn't temp me wearing such provocative clothing." He stuck his free hand under my dress skirt and ripped my underwear. I screamed! That gave me a slap across my cheek. "Don't yell it would just make this a million times worse for you." I looked into his eyes and all I saw was a fire of hatred burning in them. He wasn't a good man and I wondered why he was the way he was.

He stuffed the ripped underwear into my mouth I wanted to spit it out but he shook his head and I knew if I didn't oblige my child would be next on his hit list and I couldn't possibly let that happen.

With his free hand he unzipped his pants and freed himself. I felt his hardness against my thigh and I wanted to scream. I didn't want him to touch me. He didn't have any remorse. I was a pregnant woman and he wanted to have his way with me. I didn't want to lose my baby so I prayed to god at that moment that he was looking out for me and he would protect me from this harm. That's all I wanted protection.

He kissed my neck and I could feel him slide into me. I felt nothing for him absolutely nothing. He moaned as he lightly nipped my shoulder. I felt nothing for him and he was abusing me. All I felt was the stream of tears that now were escaping my eyes. I didn't want this and all I wanted was for my baby to be ok. I wanted him or her to be safe. That was my lives worth now.

I closed my eyes as I tried not to think about what was happening presently or if Jacob was really dead. I didn't even want to mull that thought over. I couldn't stand to even think it were possible. I refused to believe it.

After he finished I opened my eyes and gave him a look. I didn't want to even think this happened and I would kill him if I lost my child. I would release my wrath on him. I would do anything to protect my child.

The dinner was full of my family and I met Josue's small family. His mother was an older woman with the same sparkling green eyes of her son; you could see the malice in her eyes as well. She gave birth to a monster I hoped he would get justice soon. His sister was there and she was the same her mother kept referring to her as a prodigy and praised her. His sister's name was Aimée.I wondered if all his family was like that.

I wasn't sure what happened to Josue's father, but I was pretty sure he was wiped of the map. I knew he was a murderer and it made my skin crawl to actually think I would be with him. If I had to kill him I would do it with a smile on my face and not worry about the consequences. He was a mal being and needed to be eliminated from doing harm to others.

I would make sure justice was made I just wasn't sure of how I would go about it. I was scared I would admit it, but I wouldn't let anyone break me down. I would refuse to just do that. I wouldn't be weak.

The night ended and I couldn't believe it was over. I was excited that it was it made me happy. I went home and went back to my depression just like I wanted to be before this dinner even came about. I was depressed and if Jacob was dead I wondered what the hell else I had to live for. I thought deep and hard I had to live for my child. It wasn't fair that my child had to suffer for the things that happened in my life.

I sighed deeply and once more allowed the depression to engulf me and darkness came through.

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**So Don't hate me cause of the rape I didn't make it visual because well it would just piss me off. Well Review guys. Any ideas, let me know. =]**


	17. Ch16 Fortune

**A/N: I know this update took just a little longer, but I will admit I was a little stumped as to what to write. I hate Writers Block, but then I was listening to Every time we touch by Cascada and I got some inspiration and a bunch of Ideas flowed to my head. I am thinking that if I write more Fanfic, it might not be Twilight Related. I think I am just losing my spark for it. I don't know, but I will finish writing this story and Trade it all. I just need a little more motivation to finish them. **

**I am trying to write the wedding Next Chapter but no to sure. I might need a lemon soon, but don't know how sour I am going to write it. Well Enjoy. I will admit I still need more ideas cause I have no clue as to what is going to happen Next chapter besides what I wrote in the preview Chapter I gave on the Preface. Well Any ideas leave it in the Review or you can PM me, please enlighten me if you can. **

**Also still a little disappointed on the amount of Reviews, I guess people are still a little upset with me for my disappearance which I am still sorry for. Review please. **

**Disclaimer: SM owns twilight. =]  
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**Chapter 16: Fortune. **

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**Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky  
They wipe away tears that I cry  
The good and the bad times, we've been through them all  
You make me rise when I fall**

**Cascada- Every time we touch**

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Nessie**

Despair, disbelief, un-just, there were many things to describe my life now. Things couldn't have gotten any worse though. I think things were at an epic peak. I rubbed my head as it was pounding still from last night's torment. I walked to the bathroom and looked at my appearance. It wasn't one to be proud of.

My eyes were blood shot red and I had dark circles under my eyes from lack of sleep. I couldn't feel any shittier if it were possible. I would keep my socializing to a minimum today though.

I rinsed my face and washed up. I wasn't allowed to take aspirin or anything to console my headache. I decided upon some calming chamomile tea to calm my nerves. I had an appointment today and I was praying my child was fine and healthy.

If my Jacob truly was dead than I could at least live on his legacy. It pleased me to know I was carrying his child and at least the blood line wouldn't end here. As long as I was concerned I would kill anyone who would try to harm this child. Lately the dreams I were having was of a caramel skinned child with black hair and deep ebony eyes. The boy was the only thing that guarded my dreams, and protected my dreams and sanity.

As much as the situation I was in infuriated me, I had to be strong for the child I bared in my womb. It was just how things worked. I was meant to have that child and it honored the love that belonged to me and Jake.

I placed a hand on my swollen abdomen and smiled as happy tears fell from my eyes. Deep down in my heart I knew Jacob was still alive, he had to be. I needed him more than ever and he had promised he would never leave me. As many times as I didn't follow that promise, he did though.

I got dressed and went to the doctor for my regular check up. My doctor told me everything was fine. That made me happy to know that I wouldn't have complications. My stomach felt slightly larger than usual and I didn't know if I would be able to get used to this.

I passed by this Psychic's shop and I was curious. I wanted to go in, but I was afraid to do so. I was going to walk away when a woman walked out of the shop. She looked at me up and down and smiled. I was a little afraid by this woman to be honest as my heart began to pound slightly faster than usual.

"Come inside, I have a feeling I must read you." she smiled and I was curious to know what she had to say about my future. Part of me was scared that this would just open a warm hole to the other world and it would just bring an even worse omen to my life. I didn't want to suffer anymore. I finally thought about it and decided what the heck you only live once.

"I must admit I am a little afraid to have my fortune read. It isn't something I would normally do, but curiosity has got the best of me." I smiled at her.

"Don't worry it isn't something to worry about. Come with me to my back room." I looked around the small waiting room it was adorned with books, candles, and crystals. Some pictures hung on the wall and showed palms and tarot cards. It was a curious sight.

I walked with her to the back room and she directed me to sit in one of the tall chairs she had. The two chairs were around a glass table and a crystal ball in the middle of the table. The room had curtains and she closed the double doors that led to the waiting room. She walked over to me and smiled.

"With which hand do you write?" She asked me and I wiggled my right hand. She grabbed my right hand and nodded. "Make two wishes and only tell me one keeping the other to you." I thought about what I wanted and I wasn't so sure what it really would be. I knew I wanted many things, but I wasn't so sure which two to choose.

One of course without a doubt would be the safety of my child. I also wanted Jacob to be safe. I decided on the safety of my child and for my happiness. I don't really remember when I was last happy. The only time I can think of was when I was with Jacob, even though that was only partial I would do anything for me to be happy without having to live a lie. That's all I really wanted.

"Are you ready?" She asked and I nodded my head. The next words came out of my mouth without wanting to.

"I want happiness." I looked down and placed my free hand on my stomach. I wanted the happiness not only for me, but for my child as well. I wanted him or her to grow up in a loving home. I would love him or her with all my heart and never stop.

The Psychic nodded and started reading. "I can see you haven't been happy for awhile and you struggle to see what pleases others. You seem to put others before yourself, yet you always put one person behind you. I can see you struggling on trying to do what is right. The only thing that is holding you back from being happy isn't anyone but yourself. There have been obstacles and many opportunities in which you could have ran to the happiness yet because of your fear you ran the other way."

I stared at her wide eyed and I couldn't believe what she was saying. I wanted to cry, but I didn't want to be so emotional. The Psychic stared at my palm I guess she was trying to read it carefully.

"Someone from your past that has always been there for you is what you need to gain your happiness. Yet there is one person who is trying to hurt you. You need to run the other way while you can; I know it may seem hard because you feel you have no say. You have many people who surround you and will protect you if needed. Listen to what your heart says it is the only thing that can guide you."

She didn't hold back and I realized what I had to do in order to be happy. What I should have done all those years ago. I should have never left Jake when he was the person who makes me the happiest in this world.

**

* * *

Jacob**

After dinner we went back to my apartment. It seemed like something else were going to happen, like we were going to have a serious on night and then I will never hear or see her again if I was lucky. This wasn't the case. I knew Jenifer didn't want to see me in a different light. To me that was a small insult to my pride. Every woman wanted to be, I am Jacob Black.

Jenifer was a beautiful woman, yet I thought of Ness and how Jenifer reminded me of her in some weird way. I guess I am always going to think of Ness no matter where I go in this world.

"Nice hotel room." She smiled as she looked around the room. I turned to see the sparkle in her eyes. I knew Jenifer was someone special.

"I've had better." I shrugged and sat down on the couch.

"You shouldn't be so gloomy and just tell me about her." Jenifer sat across from me. I sighed and I was about to get everything off my chest. Maybe a little advice is what I needed.

"I met her when I was 17 she was 16, she wasn't interested in me I found that a challenge. She changed me and I slowly fell in love with her then. We were going to have a baby then. A little boy." My face lit up just thinking about the little boy Ness was going to give me. I could feel a small tear escape my eye just thinking about it.

"After she lost the baby she changed, she went into a depression. She pushed me away and I had to walk away when I never wanted to. It was a decision I made on impulse and I regret. I became so bitter and only focused on my career nothing else mattered I was heartbroken." I held my chest just where my heart was beating harder. My chest started hurting and this was something that used to happen often.

"We met again five years later. She was mine again, for a short time. She has a boyfriend, well fiancé now. She is getting married to him. She chose him over me. I don't want to believe it she's pregnant once more, she says it's mine but I don't know what to believe anymore. She was going to leave him for me, but she keeps going back to him. I don't understand her actions. Then weird things started happening and I can't explain them." I held my chest once more trying to control my emotions. The emotions that only one woman can mix up in a short amount of time.

Jenifer looked pensive and I wondered what was going through her brain. Her eyes were misted over just a little and she smiled at me.

"Are you stupid Jacob? You have to go after her! Maybe the reason she ended it with you was to protect you even though that might have something to do with the reason you ended up in a parking lot. Someone is obviously trying to keep her away from you. You can't just back down you have to fight for her as well."

I thought about it Jenifer was right. I couldn't let her go, I had done that before I was supposed to get back up after that minor fall and fight back with everything I could. I wasn't going to let go that easily. Renesmee is the woman for me and there is no other.

"You're right! I can't let her go, I need her in my life. She is the only person I want to be with. She is the ying to my yang, the other piece to my puzzle. I have to get to her." I was getting up from the couch.

"Wait up Jacob! You have to be careful in case someone is trying to harm you. I think the reason why she left you was to protect you. There has to be a motive to the actions she took. You have to research before you take action. I can help. I have a friend who owes me. He can make sure we find out everything and the underlays. This doesn't add up to me and I want to make sure what my assumption is, is true."

"What are you thinking?" I asked as I raised my eyebrow.

"You're a little clueless huh Jacob? I am thinking the reason she doesn't leave her boyfriend is because he knows something or can do something in his power to make sure she doesn't leave him. It smells of black mail and I think what happen to you when I found you is interlacing with that. We just have to make sure Jacob." she was right and I smiled I didn't know she was so smart.

**OoOoOo**

We spent the next week investigating. It turned out that Josue had a couple of murders under his belt. Including the death of his own father, this shocked me. We were able to get some information from one of the men who worked for Josue. It wasn't easy to get the information, but with the right motivation we got it out of him. My assumptions always went to Edward. I thought Josue was weak, but it was all an act. I found out that the reason Renesmee stayed with him was to protect me and our baby.

It sounded so much like Renesmee and I couldn't blame her she has a gentle heart and she would do what she has to, to protect the people she loves. I didn't have it in my heart to be mad at her though. I love her with every fiber in my body. My problem now was how I was going to get her back. How was I going to go about this?

But then the plan became clear. Jenifer had suggested that we crash the wedding and she was right. How we were going to distract Josue's goons who were surely going to be watching over the wedding. Everything had to be thought out well and precise. There was no room for error and we had to know what we were doing.

Jenifer turned out to be excellent strategists. I couldn't have done any of the things I was going to do without her. She was definitely my Angel and I ended up getting a really excellent lifetime friend.

We were def going to crash Nessie's wedding. I knew I would gain a few angry Cullen's, but they had to know that what Nessie was doing was wrong. I couldn't resign myself to losing her. She was my other half and I needed her.

I don't think I would have gone after Ness if it weren't for Jenifer's pushing. She was the one who was motivating me.

* * *

**Nessie**

The day of my biggest demise was only a few days away and we were having a rehearsal dinner. I wanted to shoot myself in the forehead I had no desire of going what so ever. My mother came over to help me get ready. I was even bigger then I was before. All I had the craving to eat was pizza, Doritos and sour patches. I hated pregnancy cravings and the mood swings were unbearable.

My mom was brushing my hair and I didn't really talk much. I knew she was worried about me. She showed it the most. Every time she asked me what was wrong I told her the same thing. Pre marital jitters, I knew deep down what my dilemma was.

"Renesmee, can we talk seriously? Why are you doing this? You don't even love Josue I know your heart has always been with Jacob and there is no denying them. I see how you look at Jacob and the way you look at Josue. You look at Josue with disgust and you don't even want him to touch you. Why are you doing this?" she kept on brushing my hair.

I couldn't answer her. My life was in danger if I said the truth and I still wasn't sure if Jacob was truly dead or if he was alive. I didn't know what to feel and I was in a constant depression wishing I could just turn back the time and never have left him. My heart beats for him and could only respond for him and no one else.

I didn't know what I was doing and what I was going to do to fix it all. I wish I could have had a second chance and just wish things back to how they were before all the mess came. I wished I had never met Josue Cartier and stayed to myself knowing I wouldn't be able to survive without Jacob he made me happy with his presence. I was happy and proud to be carrying his child and I would do anything to make sure my child was safe and I would protect it from harm.

I had to go through with this for the sake of my child. I couldn't tell my own mother what was happening out of fear. I didn't want to be a coward anymore. I took my mom to the only place I knew was safe and I would try to tell her and make her understand why I had to do this.

I took her to the bathroom and to the sinks the room before it connected with the main bathroom. I closed both doors and looked around to see if there were any cameras or microphones. My mom looked at me like I was paranoid, and honestly I was a little bit. I had no privacy and I wanted to make sure I did. I couldn't keep this to myself anymore. When the close was finally clear I tried to think of what I was going to tell her.

"Mom…" I stopped before I went on and took a breath. "I have to go through with this to protect myself and my child. Some horrible things have been happening and this is the only way I can ensure there is safety." I sighed and held my stomach. "This child is the product of the love I have with Jacob. I can never love any other man but him. I just have to make this decision because if I don't horrible things will happen. Please don't tell anyone about this. I already said too much without saying too much. Please mom keep this between me and you. No one can find out." She looked at my eyes and nodded. I knew my mom could keep a secret and she was a mom so she would protect her child as well no matter the cost.

"Renesmee can you answer me this? Does Josue have to do with the horrible things?" she asked and I just nodded my head without saying a word. She hugged me tight and I could feel her tears hitting my shirt as well as I noticed I started crying as well. I don't know how long we stood there just crying in each other's hands. I knew my mother out of anyone would be able to understand with all she went through with my father.

I had to face all the demons in one shot and I just prayed to god that he would send me a miracle and help me out of this one. My mom wiped my tears away and I smiled at her knowing she understood me perfectly.

"We have to do something about this Renesmee. It can't just end like this. I know that things happen for a reason and you will have this problem resolved and get what you need." She smiled at me and wiped my cheek once more.

She helped me get dressed for the dinner and got me ready with makeup and hair. I didn't know what to expect from this night. I knew I was frightened out of my ass and I needed to get it resolved and quickly. I prayed and I really wanted to be happy no matter what.

I started thinking about what the psychic told me and I wanted to be able to just follow my heart, but it wasn't possible at the time. I wanted to liberate myself from Josue, but I couldn't. I didn't know what to do and I needed some advice and I couldn't really get it without telling that person everything. I couldn't even sleep right and I had bags under my eyes. I looked twice as old to what I really was. I was stressed out and I wasn't because of the wedding that was partial. I should have been happy I am getting married to Josue Cartier, world known photographer.

Yet I wanted none of it. All I wanted was my old life back, the life where I was still a kid and was able to be in love with Jacob Black, to be able to paint scenes from first beach, to goof off with my boyfriend and our friends.

I knew I would never be that teenage girl anymore and I had to be strong for my child. I couldn't beat around the bush and be foolish. I had to get through this and I would get through this. If after I got married to I had to kill him I would do that. I was capable of doing anything at this point. I just knew Josue Cartier couldn't get out of this one alive.

* * *

**Jacob**

I went back to the normal routine. My job seemed tedious, but I was spending a lot more time with Jenifer. I knew if the press found out they would try to make a scandal out of it. Jenifer was really just a good friend of mine and she took care of me really well. I admired her for it. I was at my desk looking over some statements for the company. My door opened and I looked up to see who walked in.

Embry walked in and had a smile on his face. I hadn't really talked to my boys in so long. I didn't know what was going on in their lives and it sort of got to me just by looking at Embry. We were all brothers and would do anything for one another.

I wondered what he was doing in New York when I had him and the rest of the fellas handling things in the Washington office. I was a little curious by the visit and why nobody told me about this. Not even Kimberly.

"Well hello Mr. Black. Or do I still have to call you boss." He had a grin on and I couldn't help, but return it.

"What are you doing here? Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" I asked still in shock.

"Well you know I am spontaneous like that. I live to surprise people. But I should be asking you, where have you been? It's like you disappeared and shown no signs of being alive." He sat in the chair in front of my desk and put his arms behind his head as he raised his feet on my desk.

I knocked his feet off my desk and laughed. "Dude I have just been a little busy." It was the truth. I had been so busy planning with Jenifer that I hardly had any time for anything else. I only knew one thing I was going to fight for Renesmee and I refused to lose to an idiot. I had so much dirt on that scumbag that he wouldn't be leaving jail ever.

"Do you think I am a fool? You reconciled with Nessie so she is your number one priority." He saw my frown on my face and he looked like he was sorry. "So it's true then huh she really is marrying exotic French boy. I don't understand you two are at an extreme level of happiness when you are together."

"You have no idea, but I have my suspicions that she is being forced into that wedding. I just don't know how I am going to get the truth out without putting her in danger." I pinched the bridge of my nose and began to run Jenifer's plan through my head. It seemed like an excellent plan and that it would work perfectly.

"Why can't you think that your time with Nessie is just over? She moved on bro and it don't look to nice. She got man candy and her father is backing him up." Embry put his arms behind his head once more.

"You don't know what I know Embry. I refuse to let her go without a fight. The only time I know I will be able to fight is during her wedding and I will object. She can't marry him. I will not allow it. I have to be stricken dead for that to happen." When I finished saying that my intercom buzzed. "Yes Kimberly?" I asked and she cleared her throat just slightly.

"Mr. Black, Jenifer is here for you. Should I let her go in?"

"Jenifer? Who is Jenifer?" Embry said it with his smart ass tone and raised an eyebrow. There was no way in hell I was letting Embry near Jenifer, he would just corrupt her and I didn't want a guy like Embry around her. I don't know why I was feeling so protective over her like that. I wasn't her man or anything but I did feel like her brother and I would watch over her.

"A friend." I said sternly and made sure he got that clear. "Kimberly let Jenifer go to the conference room and I will go see her in a few minutes I am just wrapping things up here."

"Sure thing Mr. Black,"

"So I don't get to meet this Jenifer? Are you sure you aren't you know with her." He rubbed his hands together and I raised my eyebrow at him.

"NO!" I pressed my finger to the bridge of my nose again before I continued. "I don't want you to meet her because you don't know how to act around women. Jenifer isn't just any woman, she means a lot to me and I don't want you to hurt her. I know how you are with women and she deserves so much better." I made sure I was clear with him as I got up out of my seat. "Stay here this won't take long and then we can go out for some drinks and don't worry you know I am buying." He lit up and I walked out the door to the conference room.

I wondered what Jenifer came to tell me. It must be important if she didn't call me to my cell phone in advance. I wondered what it would be about.

I had a feeling my life would be changing yet again.

* * *

**That was kind of short huh? I feel like my writing is getting short. Well might just be me when I was used to writing 6,000 plus word Chapters. This one was only 4,000 and some change thats not including the A/N**

**Well be kind and review, Please Ideas because I really don't know what to write. Help my writers block and you get more chapters quicker. Cause if not Chapters will be coming out slowly because I have no spark. Well I still love the readers who continue to read and love this story. You guys make me happy for this. **

**So help me out with the ideas, you guys own this and you can tell me what you want to see. Well Review hope you enjoyed. =] **

**Sorry for the long A/N's ;D  
**


	18. ch17Be Happy!

**A/N: SO SORRRRYYYYY! I am sorry guys the update is late, but I made it a little longer and added a surprise towards the end so you guys can love me more. I really do have a valid excuse as to why this is late though. I had surgery and I was in pain and it sucked, but I am getting better and recovery is good. I am glad everything went good. I didn't want to forget you guys though. I had writers block as well, but I think it is over now. I was upset with the reviews, but I can forgive you guys if you make it up to me. If you want also another excuse this was a little later is because my birthday was Wednesday the 15th so yea. **

**Anyway if you want to make me a little happier you can review and put a smile on my face. Thanks guys for being so patient. I love you guys well Enjoy my pretties.=]**

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN THIS ISH, Unfortunately I don't SM OWNS IT. That lucky hoe. =[ (Sad faced me) **

**WISH ME LUCK (crosses fingers) Jacob Black Appear in my bedroom. **

**ASHUCKS IT DIDN'T Work. Excuse me for the silliness it is 2:35am and I love you guys to be updating. I will be awaiting some beautiful Reviews in the morning when I wake up. okay!  
**

**

* * *

Chapter 17: Be Happy.**

* * *

**How can I love somebody else  
If I can't love myself enough to know  
When it's time,  
Time to let go**

**BE HAPPY- M.J. Blige. **

**

* * *

Nessie**

_Deep breaths Renesmee dearest deep breaths, _I repeated to myself. I hated having to be at these Lamaze classes. Yes I should be happy that I was accomplishing something. I had to make sure my baby was brought to this world safely. The wedding was approaching more rapidly than I would have wanted it to. I didn't look forward to it, but I knew it was bound to happen. _Deep breath, _I repeated_, Deep breaths. _

The person who accompanied to my Lamaze class was the only person I could trust at this point, _my mother._ I wished I could have my Jacob back. I wondered what he was up to. Something deep down in my stomach told me he was alive. I had to ask my mom about it. I needed to get the doubt out of my head. The wedding was coming soon and we were having the wedding in Forks. The origin of all the good things that have happened to me, I didn't realize till now that everything horrible that had happened to me had happen in New York City. My mom noticed my stress as I she stopped showing me her breathing exercises.

"Renesmee...? What's wrong love?" she questioned and I looked at her and gave her a forced smile.

"Mom have you heard from Jacob, I am starting to get really worried. I haven't heard from him since he came to see me and I threw the door in his face." I felt a tear fall down my cheek. I hadn't realized I started crying. I took my index and middle finger and placed them right under my eye and felt the wet stains the tears left.

"Renesmee I can see you still love Jacob, why are you still going through with this wedding?" she didn't answer my question which only made me cry more hysterically.

"Mom I had told you before what I felt." I sighed. I didn't want to be in this class anymore I wanted to go home and cry. That's all I did now a day's anyways.

My mom sighed as well and wiped away my tears. She brought me in her arms and kissed my forehead tenderly. This was the moment in which I needed my mother. I wanted and needed only one person, I needed Jacob and I wanted him to be by my side.

"Jacob is fine Renesmee," she whispered and hugged me tighter. Her words were sincere and they reassured my doubts. _My Jacob was fine._ I felt the knots in my stomach do flips or it was possible the baby was moving. I wouldn't feel it too much if that were the case. I still wasn't very far in my pregnancy. The reason I was taking the classes was because this would be my first successful pregnancy. I sighed and thereafter was followed with a smile as I placed a hand on my swollen abdomen.

"Thanks mom."

"Why do you go through with this? I still don't understand? You love Jacob more than anything and I am pretty sure that baby is his." She said getting a bit upset. I knew my mom wanted to see me happy and I appreciated her for it.

"I already told you it's a bit more complicated." I was about to lie like I had never did that before. "My child deserves to be with its father and if I am sacrificing my happiness for that well being, well than I will do it. Josue is an amazing man." I gritted through my teeth forcing the words to come out. "I know he will be an amazing father to this child." I half smiled and my mom looked at me a little strangely like she wanted to half believe it and not believe it at all.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

The day I been dreading. I didn't want to get out of bed that day. I was depressed to another level, yet I placed a fake smile on my face and was going to continue with this farce. I know I didn't want to and that most likely I was going to. There was a knock on my door and it was five in the morning.

I figured it would be Alice and the torture would begin. I didn't feel right. I felt out of my own skin and I was moving on auto-pilot like if I had no soul. I got up from my bed rubbing my eyes and walked over to the door. Who stood at the door surprised me it wasn't Alice and I hadn't really spoken to her in so long.

Leah stood at my door and she had her arms crossed against her chest with a small frown sketched across her lips.

* * *

===================00000000000000000000======================

**Jacob**

The day had finally came that our plan was going to go through I could just think of the plan Jenifer had sketched, she was an amazing woman and I hoped she got the best of everything because she was really the best.

00000

**

* * *

(Flash)**

"Jake thank god!" Jenifer took a breath and patted her chest. "I thought it was someone else and I got a bit nervous." She had a couple of folders set up on the conference table and I knew she meant business. I smiled and I walked over sitting in my regular chair.

"So what you got for me?" I said with a cheerful smile.

"Jake our suspicions hit right on the nail." She frowned slightly as she pulled out the report the detective did. "Josue did murder his father for his mother. It seems like it was a big payout from the insurance money, it made it seem like he died of natural causes though. They poisoned him with anti-freeze." She frowned once more.

"Wow!" I said in shock. I didn't even want to begin to think what that monster was capable of doing to my Nessie or my child. I would kill that mother fucker before he did anything to the woman I love or my kid.

"That's not the bad news, it seems like he has been tapping into some of the Cullen Accounts, not only personal Accounts, but business accounts as well. The only way he will have access to the money in those accounts…" I cut her off.

"Is if he marries Nessie." I pinched the bridge of my nose. I knew with those kinds of men they only cared about money and nothing else. They didn't care who they trampled over to get what they wanted. I was pretty sure Nessie's family was the goose of golden eggs it was millions on top of millions of dollars maybe even Billions I wasn't sure because I didn't care much for money even though I had my own.

"Jake the Cullen's have tons of money; did you know that Nessie's grandparents own an Island? Sources also say that he wants to use that island to put a drug trade. The island is off the coast of Brazil it's called…" she looked down at the paper. "Isle Esme." She said. I figured it would be named after Nessie's grandparents. I sighed I didn't know how deep Josue was going to get into with what he was trying to do. "Did you know that's where they are going for their honeymoon?" she should me a map where Isle Esme was circled in red.

"She can't go through with this I have to stop this." I ran my hand down my face as I was seriously beginning to get cold feet on how I was going to do this. I knew there was going to be tons of security at the wedding. They were getting married at the church so even god would watch that spectacle.

"Jake this is the layout for the church." She placed another map in front of me and it had circled entrances and exits in blue ink. "I know that Josue is going to have tons of security for this wedding, not only because both of them are celebrities, but also because he wants to keep you from crashing. There is though one entrance that I am sure will not be guarded, but it's underground. It leaves you in the main entrance to the actual chapel. I made a layout for you so that you can navigate easily through the bottom of the church. But you'll have to be slick and undetected which I hope you can do. You also have to dress like a shadow so which is why I brought you this."

She handed me a bag full of clothes all black and to my surprise was all name brand. It was a full body type suit all black with a ski mask and all. I couldn't help but smile I loved how prepared Jenifer was. Maybe I should take into consideration having her be my secretary even though I know she wants to be a shrink.

"Are you sure you aren't a secret agent or something because you are good." I smiled and she slapped my arm playfully.

"Shh…. Don't tell anyone." She smiled and laughed playfully.

"I knew it, but seriously I want to thank you. I don't think I would have been able to do any of this stuff without you. You are Amazing Jenifer." I smiled and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks I still don't know how I am going to repay you." I said as I started rubbing the back of my neck. I knew she didn't want anything in return.

"Promise me one thing Jacob Black." She held her finger her signaling the one thing. "After all of this is done, I want us to still be friends. I don't want this to just be about this, I love you like a brother already and I don't think I can lose you." she smiled and her eyes watered up, but she didn't cry I knew Jenifer was tuff. She reminded me of Leah in that aspect.

"Of course I could never; you helped me out a lot. You made me want to fight for Nessie even when I thought I should stop fighting you're the one I should be thanking and I will never stop being your friend you're like my little sister, you're my best friend." I hugged her and she hugged me back.

"Am I interrupting something?" Embry was peeking in through the door. I saw Jenifer was wiping her tears with the back of her hand and tried to act like she wasn't crying.

"Embry what the fuck did I say!" I yelled getting a bit aggravated after I told them not to let Embry interrupt my session with Jenifer.

"Hey I got bored and I know you need me. You're planning something and I am in. Plus I can always use a date for Nessie's wedding." He had a huge grin on his face as he eyed Jenifer fucking her with his eyes, like he never saw a woman before.

"Jake!"Jenifer smiled and I knew she got a good idea. "That's better than I could have thought. If I go with your friend to the wedding it would be so much easier to get you in. I could be the one to unlock the door for you. Jake this is perfect." She smiled jumping up and down in excitement.

"Stop looking at her like that!" I warned embry by wagging my finger at him. I knew what Embry was with woman, shit we both were the same at one time he just never changed. I didn't want him to hurt Jenifer because I loved her like a sister and I was protective over her already. "Jenifer I know you can handle yourself. I trust you and I am sure that you can put Embry in his place. If he does something to you let me know and I will personally break his legs for you." I smiled and looked over at Embry whose jaw was to the floor in shock.

"Jacob I can handle myself, plus he isn't what I look for in men. I like them more like tall, dark, handsome, muscular, nice eyes, beautiful personalities, and non perv's." she smiled and I knew she was joking I couldn't help but smile as well.

"Darn I am sorry I am taken." I couldn't help but laugh and she hit my chest playfully.

"If only you had a twin brother Jake."She sighed faking. "I think I can't live on. Need… Jacob… Black!" she couldn't control herself and busted out laughing. "Even playing those words sound wrong coming out of my mouth." She touched her throat making a face of disgust as she took some water from the bottle on the table.

"You know you love me Jen." I said teasing her.

"That I do Jacob Black, that I do." She said after she took a sip of water. "I am leaving I have to meet up with Chris. I need a dress." She looked at Embry and walked over to him. "You can pick me up at Jacob's place. I don't want you to know where I live sorry." She gave him an apologetic smile and turned on her heel to look at me. "Take care of those papers. They are really important. Lock them up in a safe place, Jake I trust you." she said as she put her hat back on and grabbed her purse off one of the chairs and saluted to me as she walked out the room.

"That is one hell of a woman. Where in the world did you meet that?" Embry turned to look at me. He had a shocked smile on his face and I knew it was that he wanted to conquer Jen and I wasn't sure if I wanted to let him. I didn't want to see Jen hurt.

"She saved my life. I don't want you to hurt her she means a lot to me. When you go to the wedding together it is part of a plan so I don't want you to do anything to fuck that up, you hear me." I threatened him and I saw the look on Embry's face that meant he was thinking it over. "No but's Embry, you will not put the moves on Jen." I wagged my finger at him.

"Geesh Jake fine." He threw his hands up in defeat. I gave him one last look and he marched out of the room.

"And I still have it." I smiled.

**(End)**

* * *

I woke out of bed a little nervous. I woke up earlier than what was the plan time. I couldn't really sleep; there were a million of thoughts that travelled through my mind. What if I went to the church and she didn't even want me? What if she truly wanted to be with him?

I didn't want my attempt to be gone without results. I wanted her and no one else. If she told me that she didn't want me I would be devastated and I don't know what I would do without her. It was as if at every moment she was the one who revolved around my heart.

There was just something about her that I couldn't stay away from and it was pulling at me and making me weaker with the passing days. Now that I was finally going to put an end to the madness I was shitting bricks of how nervous I was. I just hope I could do everything possible to have her back I refused to lose Nessie again. I did it once shame on me, do it twice and I am a complete moron.

I couldn't eat that morning and that was strange I always ate, but I was too nervous. I ended up only having some tea to calm my nerves a bit. When my alarm finally went off telling me it was time to get up and ready I went to take a shower and get dressed.

I went through the floor plans of the church over and over again until I had them memorized. Every single exit and entrance was known like I knew my phone number. My palms were sweaty and I was praying that everything went well it was something I had on my to do list which were reaching all new highs.

_Deep breaths Jake, Deep breaths. _

My bell rang and I was startled a bit. I wasn't expecting someone this early in the morning. I wondered who it was. I also wondered why I was so jumpy as well. I took a deep breath breathing in through my mouth and exhaling out my nose. I walked to the door and looked through the peep hole.

It was Seth?

_000000_000000000_000000000000_

**

* * *

Nessie**

"Leah?" I said as I opened the door and stepped to the side to let her in.

"Ness we need to talk." She said as she closed the door behind her. My face fell and I was waiting for her to start the conversation so I took it in my hands to say something.

"I don't get a Hi?" I said with a cheeky smile, but I couldn't look her in the face. I refused to look her in the face. I had an idea what this was about, but I couldn't have someone ruin this. This is what needed to happen and no one could really stop it.

"Cut the Bull shit and just explain to me why are you actually going through with this? Jacob loves you, you love him end of story cut the BS." She looked pissed and my mouth fell. I couldn't believe she was being so blunt with me.

"Leah I can't." was the only I could manage to say. I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted to tell her I was being forced into this. I wanted to tell her all I did want was Jacob. There was a problem though; I had to go through with this to protect him. I had to make sure Jake was safe as well as my child. I wouldn't risk yet another child's life.

"Figures, your too weak to fight for what you think is right." I raised my eyes to meet her. Her eyes held disappointment and I didn't want anyone to look at me like that. What was I getting myself into?

"Are you done?" I was getting a little pissed, but I needed people to understand what I was doing was for the good of my child. I had no clue what gain Josue would get out of this, but he loved me on a sick level that I didn't quite understand. "Well if you are you can leave my apartment." I was harsh with her when she wasn't the target for my anger.

I didn't even know why I would blame someone else when it was my fault. No one else was to blame. It was all me. I just want Jacob to come to my door and sweep me off my feet. I guess that's all I really wanted.

Leah didn't say anything more as her jaw dropped. She gave me that disappointed look and backed away towards the door. What was I to say to her? I had nothing to say and I knew I was losing a friend slowly. I needed to have a different attitude. When Leah left and the door closed behind her I fell slowly on my knees.

_What the hell was I really doing? _

I don't know how much longer I sat in the living room just staring blankly at the floor. I heard the door creak open, but I didn't make an effort to get myself up. I felt arms wrap around me and I looked up to see green eyes staring back at me with concern. I could do nothing but wrap my arms around his neck. I felt safe. I was my father's little princess once more.

I could remember all the times when I was young and I would wake up screaming from the thunder storms. My father would always come and hug me until all the lightning was gone. I felt like that vulnerable little girl again. I just hoped that I wouldn't have to go through any of this. I wanted to be sheltered again to have my parents make decisions for me. I knew things didn't work that way.

I didn't realize I was crying until my father wiped away my tears. I only pushed myself closer to my father's neck and embrace. He acknowledged it and smoothed my hair.

"I am guessing you're having cold feet. Honey remember I am proud of you. Josue is a really good man. He cares about you a lot and I am sure he will make you so happy." He kissed my forehead. I snorted at his attempt at saying Josue was a good man.

Before I could say something Alice busted the door open and looked scary as she had a bag on each shoulder with her cell phone in one hand and my spare keys in the other.

"You out!" she motioned to my father with the tip of the key. My father gave me another kiss on my forehead and an apologetic smile and retreated from my apartment. "I expected you about an hour ago at my house. We have a lot of work to do missy." She scolded me as she put the bags down. Aunt Rose came in with a warm smile and a couple bags herself.

"Hello Aunt Rose." I said with a small smile. I tried to compose myself as much as I could. Rosalie's smile dropped when she saw the tears on my cheek. She knew me more than anyone did.

"Are you ok?" she asked. What else could I do I had to lie.

"Jitters." I muttered and she nodded her head believing the lie.

"You're going to look so beautiful today!" Aunt Rose exclaimed. I looked down and rolled my eyes. Seriously what else could I do? I had to go through with this.

* * *

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~0~~~~~~~~~~~~~0~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Jacob**

"Seth what are you doing here?" I said as I rubbed the back of my neck. Seth pushed passed me closing the door and looking me straight in the face crossing his arms not giving me a chance to stall.

"I have a question for you though Jake, You're hardly in Washington anymore. Yet the love of your life is getting married today and you're in the town she is getting married in. A little coincidental I believe not. What are you planning Jake?" He didn't even give me a chance.

"Why do I have to be planning something?" I said a little more nervously than wanted. My voice came out shaky.

"I know you love Nessie more than anything and I know you won't let her go through with this just to go through with it. You're planning something. Jake I know you. You don't let things go this easily. Dude we used to talk about everything I know you. You're like my brother so I know." Seth was in his normal chipper mood and I looked at his face and a small smile creped on his lips and I thought that he might have figured it out.

"What makes you think that maybe I just moved on?" I asked and Seth's smile turned into a confused look. He was puzzled by my words.

"Is there somebody?" He asked interested. I looked at the gold diamond accented ring on my pinky finger. First gift I made myself of my first real fat check.

"Maybe." I had a smile on my face thinking of Jenifer, my little angel who was helping me out at this time. I wouldn't know what to do if she hadn't encouraged me the way she did. I have to love her for her strong spirit and the way she loves to fight. She also put Embry in his place which a lot of woman aren't able to do.

Like clockwork my door opened with a plain faced Jenifer swearing under her breath. "Jake!" she yelled without looking up to see that I was with company in the hallway to the rest of the hotel room. She finally looked up and her blush gave her away. "I am sorry, did I interrupt?" she looked so cute when she stammered and I went to her side and placed my arm over her shoulders bringing her closer to my chest.

"No honey you can never interrupt!" I said faking excitement as I kissed the top of her head.

"You're pushing it!" she whispered so only I could as she elbowed me in the ribcage.

"So this is the 'somebody'." Seth re-crossed his arms and the smile appeared again. "Hello I am Seth Clearwater, one of Jacob's Best friends." He stuck his hand out and Jenny shook it. Seth was his usual charmer self.

"See!" Jenny exclaimed as she smiled to Seth. "He is way nicer and polite than your friend I met the other day. He was a total creeper." Jenny sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Ah! She met Embry." Seth burst out laughing knowing Embry's shenanigans.

"So his name really is Embry?" her head feel and she sighed.

"If you want Jenny you can go get ready in my bedroom. I'll just finish taking with my friend here." I swatted her on the butt to add to the mood of our relationship. She nodded her head but gave me a deadly stare that would have penetrated my heart and killed me there and then.

"See you around Seth." She smiled at him and walked to the end of the hallway which led to the bedroom. She looked at me once more and licked her lips when she went inside.

"She was pretty." Seth said as soon as Jenny closed the door to my room.

"Yea Jenifer is an amazing girl." I said proudly thinking of the many things Jenifer did for me. I knew she wasn't like any other girl she really wanted to help me out and she didn't want anything in return.

"Do you love her?" the question came out randomly and I knew Seth was just speaking without thinking again.

I wondered what it was that I felt for Jenny. Was it possible that I really was starting to fall for Jenifer? I shook that thought from my head I did love Jenifer; I loved her like a best friend, a sister. I had the love for her, but to be in love with her I couldn't say. My heart still belonged to Nessie and hers belongs to me even though she doesn't show it.

"You do huh?" he questioned again and I am not sure if he had said something before.

"Yes." I said remembering my love for Renesmee.

"I wish you luck than." He said as he patted my back and retreated towards the door.

"Alright than." I said as I opened the door for him.

"I hope you're making the right decision here Jake." He looked a little disappointed, but I knew my choice is the right one. I would have my Nessie back at whatever cost. I would protect her from the sadistic person that Josue is.

As soon as Seth walked out the door Jenny walked out of my bedroom. She shook her head side to side as she walked over to me. As to show she was scolding me in some sort of way.

"I am disappointed in you Jacob. Why not just tell your best friend that you are going to fight for the woman you love. This doesn't make sense. Or are you guys mutual friends with her?"

"It's complicated Jen, his sister is married to her best friend. Even though I know Seth won't ruin this when he knows I love Ness more than anything. I just never understood how Embry is Best friends with Josue. That guy is a monster." I sighed as I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"About that." She said a little nervously. She rubbed the back of her neck the way I was accustomed to doing. I crossed my arms waiting for her answer. "Jacob, your friend is a pawn for Josue. It's how he knows where you are when you are. The sad thing is Embry doesn't really know it. I am sure he will never go against you. It's just a little disappointing." She sighed.

"Wow!" I was shocked I didn't expect that answer to come from her lips. I didn't even consider Embry being a pawn. If he was a pawn and he was coming to get Jenifer at my hotel things might get ruined. "Do you think he knows? I mean about our plan?" I asked.

"I doubt it. I made sure things were covered up pretty well. We only have to leave this in the hands of God and see if everything works out for the best." She gave me a smile and then closed the space we were separated by giving me a hug. "Everything is going to be fine." She reassured me as she gave me a squeeze.

"I hope so Jenny, I hope so." I said as I placed my cheek a top of her head.

* * *

~~~~~~~~~0~~~~~~~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~0~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**Nessie**

Today it was finally happening; I was in the most beautiful white dress adorned with beautiful sequins and pearls. Today I was actually getting married. I was highly emotional. Aunt Alice was putting the last touches, sticking the white star orchid in my hair. She smiled at me, aunt Rose was tearing up. Mom was sitting down with the baby in her arms crying. Today was an amazing day for me. I put my hands to the bump on my stomach and smiled. I was happy, I had it all. The most amazing career, the most amazing man was waiting for me at the altar his amazing eyes, knowing that he loved me so much and was willing to do anything for me.

Why do I feel so nervous and guilty? The guilt was eating me alive. I had to go through with this; I cared about him a lot. He had been the most amazing, romantic, caring person ever. I was snapped out of my thoughts by Rose who hugged me tight.

"It is time Ness, he is waiting for you. You look amazing. Remember this is your day." she hugged me once more. I took a deep breath as my brides maids got themselves ready to walk out.

My maid of honor of course had to be my beautiful half sister. I gave her a hug before she walked out.

"Nessie I love you." she said as she hugged me once more. She looked beautiful in the silky lilac dress. She handed me my bouquet of flowers and her eyes were watery. She started taking her position to go walk out.

I knew everybody was proud of me. My dad was super ecstatic about this day. I had my best friend as my groom's best man. Everything fit ever so perfectly. So why was I still having the guilt eat at me? I brushed one of the curls that was laying on the front and pushed it back behind my shoulder.

I started to walk out and saw my father staring at me with his green eyes. He looked so proud of me. I was his oldest daughter and I was finally getting married. He had to be proud of me, he always said that I changed my life around and was finally doing things the right way. I sighed even deeper as the nerves were killing me. My stomach has major butterflies. My unborn child was moving around I guess it sensed my nervous jitters as well. I knew I loved my child there was no doubt in my mind that this child would be the most spoiled.

"Are you ready?" my father asked me and looped his arm around mines. He snapped me out of my thoughts and I started taking deeper breaths. "Honey I am proud of you, you have made me change my thoughts about you. You truly grew up and I love that. Now let's walk you down the aisle so you can be with your future husband." he smiled once more.

We started walking down the aisle. I saw all the familiar faces from my childhood, my adolescence, my profession as a model. I saw all my family, friends from La Push, my friends from high school, my manager Reni, and my model friends. All the familiar faces except for one, I knew he wouldn't come; it hurt me so much to know he wouldn't come. Just thinking about him made the guilt hit me even stronger.

The music was playing the melodious harmony. As I walked down the aisle and saw my beautiful groom and his sparkling green eyes. I could see all his attention was on me, as my feet started feeling heavy and the blood pounding through my ears. This all felt wrong and right at the same time. Every step was calling my doom. I think I was starting to get cold feet. I think I always had cold feet just I didn't want to admit it to myself.

Finally I was at the altar with the eyes all on me. I was trying to swallow the huge lump that was formed in my throat. I felt so nervous but still that guilt was pushing against my heart. The pastor was starting to say the words to get us married. My groom looked at me in my eyes with a huge smile on his face. Finally the pastor got to the part where if someone opposes.

The door of the church slammed open and there he stood looking amazing wearing a black leather coat. My heart started pounding even faster. I couldn't believe he actually came.

"I oppose." his deep voice said I felt the tears forming in my eyes, but the tears didn't push out just yet. I was terrified and satisfied at the same time. "Who loves you more than me, if you get married you'll take my life." he sighed and walked forward more.

* * *

====================0000000000==============================

**Jacob  
**

Today was going to be tuff. I knew it. After Jenifer left in a beautiful tight red dress that was mid length that hit her knees, she had her hair up in a bun with loose strands falling. She looked amazing. I couldn't believe she was really going through with this. The ceremony was due to take place at ten. So by at least ten-thirty the pastor would be getting to the part in where who opposes. I just prayed to god that I got there in time.

I was dressed in all black when I left the hotel. My driver was waiting for me, but not in my regular car. I hated to bring him into this as an accomplice, but I wasn't really doing anything wrong. I was just claiming back the woman I loved back. I needed her the same way I needed air to breathe.

I was just praying that this all turned out successful. It was the only real hope I had. And if god was there for me like he always is I would have Nessie back.

When we got to the church just as Jenny had said the place was swarming in security. I made my driver go up two and a half blocks from the church. I knew the exact spot I had to go into to find the underground entrance that Jenny had promised would be free of security.

I was hoping this went through well.

I waved the driver off and told him to circle that I would give him a call when I was ready for him to come back. He nodded and I went into stealth mode. I went into one of the allies as I began to climb an escape exit making my way to the roof top of a building that was about two down from the church.

I looked from above to see how many securities were on the perimeter of the building. It looked to be plentiful, but I knew I was good and I was practicing my ninja moves and I felt so cool. I covered my mouth only letting my eyes become exposed.

I found the small walk that connected the three buildings until I was right next to the church. I walked down the escape exit and found the door that led to the basement of the church. I pulled the latch to walk in to the basement, but the door was locked. I didn't think I would get a complication.

I looked around and found nothing. I touched on my suit packed by Jenifer and see what she packed that may come of use. I found a small metal tool that looked as if I could use it to jimmy the lock open. Just as I thought as I jiggled the lock and to my luck it opened. I smiled and thank god for my luck today.

I walked into the cellar and it was dark. I popped out the small flashlight Jen packed and turned it on. The light was actually bright compared to the size of the flashlight. I had to thank Jen later by giving her a very well needed vacation all expenses paid. She deserved it for being so amazing.

I walked through the cellar until I made it to the stairs that would lead to the door that would leave me in the hall of the church that led to the ceremony. I had to hurry up I didn't have much time. Again to my luck the door was open just as Jen had promised I swear I had to give that girl a free car as well. She was too amazing and no complications had arisen, Just yet.

When I opened the door to my surprise there was a clear hall and I made it quickly to the doors. I had to act quickly. I peeked through the crack of the door that was slightly cracked. She looked amazing dressed in white.

The pastor was about to speak. "If anyone opposes, speak now or forever hold your peace." I took that as my cue to come inside and oppose.

I opened the door and I really underestimated my strength when it flung open and hit the door. I would ask god to forgive me for making a mess in his house of worship later. I had to get this through with now or I would never do anything about it ever.

As I walked up to her I could see how she was trembling and on the brink of tears. She must have thought I wasn't going to come to the rescue of my princess. I wouldn't be able to make our fairytale come true if that was the case. I made her a promise and I would keep it. I would protect her and love her forever.

I got a couple of disgusted looks and I am guessing it was the ones of the family of the groom. Of course I did get the disgusted look from Edward and I was pretty sure he had no idea the kind of monster Josue was. I looked at my friends and family from La Push and they were all beaming at looking at me.

"I oppose." I said as I got closer. I was trying my best from keeping myself to fall on my knees in front of her and begging her from not doing this. She was crying now and her emotions were taking their toll on her. . "Who loves you more than me; if you get married you'll take my life." I spoke from my heart. I had to do anything possible to have her back.

"Escort him out!" Josue yelled pissed off as he told to one of his henchmen, one of the same guys who beat me that night. Cowards is what they were. They couldn't face me face to face. It had to be done in a group. If it was on my will all of them would be gone by now.

"I will do it." Edward said as he ground his teeth.

"No Mr. Cullen you have to know the kind of man your daughter is marrying. He has been lying to you all." I heard the various gasps come from the crowd behind me. Nessie was still crying and holding onto her stomach and stroking lightly. It broke my heart to see her cry. And it hurt even more to know I was the one who was causing her to cry over me. I wanted to be able to console her and make everything in her world all better.

"What are you talkin

* * *

g about? My son in law is a better man than you will be." Edward sneered as he looked me up and down as if I was a no one.

"That's what you think. This man is a murderer. I am sorry lord for speaking so ill in your house, but even the devil goes to church." I said through clenched teeth. I was trying to keep my peace and I hoped god helped me with that one. I wanted him to give me the strength to go through with this.

"How dare you accuse me of things you have no proof of and on my wedding day. Come on father let's get to the I do's so I can marry my love." He said as he grabbed Renesmee's hand in his. She looked almost afraid of him.

"I can't do this." Renesmee whispered to him, but was audible so that everyone in the first row could hear.

"What do you mean you can't do this mon amour? You can't do this to me. I have treated you with the upmost respect. You can't leave me!" he yelled the last part. He looked pissed and I wouldn't take this anymore.

"I can't be with a person who abuses Me." her tears fell fatly and my jaw dropped. I couldn't believe he would hit her. The gasps were louder this time and were heard as if this was all shocking. Edward removed his gaze from on me and burned holes into Josue. Nessie looked at me and ran my way. I thought she was going to run into my arms, but she didn't. She stopped in front of me and what she said next broke me. "Forgive me Jacob." She whispered barely audible.

"I don't need to forgive you. You did nothing that was meant to be forgiven. You did what you felt was right." A smile penetrated her lips, but it was very small. "I love you Ness." I said as I wiped away the tears from her cheeks. Her makeup was smudged, but she still looked beautiful.

"I love you too Jacob Black."

* * *

**What almost made it but didn't. **

* * *

**Wedding scene. **

All the eyes were turned away from me and facing him. I could feel my fiancé's eyes leave from on me and give a cold stare at Jacob who was ruining my wedding day. "Please you're making a mistake. I will explain my reasons and what my name is. Just put a pause to this and let me speak." he sighed and he got some people telling him this was disrespectful.

"Now listen to me mother fucker that is up at the altar and everyone else. You can't marry him; you are basing everything off a lie. I am going to tell y'all the truth." I felt that everything was going to be out in the open, the truth about my infidelity. All those days and weeks a spent having sex with Jacob, All those amazing weeks.

"Who told you that you can do this?" his gaze was focused on me. "You are seriously making a mistake. If you didn't know I was going to come through. I am going to tell everybody." He took another deep sigh. "It all started seven years ago, a young boy fell in love with a princess. He changes his ways. I used climb the tree to get into her bedroom. I am the only one who knows you better than anyone could ever, I am the one who took your virginity, I am the one who would do anything for you, I am the one who loves you." he stopped talking and took a deep breath. "I think everyone should know that for the last year we have been seeing each other. I am the real father of the child she is having. Now Nessie I am not leaving here if it isn't with you."

I was even more emotional and the tears fell from my eyes. I still loved him. He was the only one I could ever love; he was right how I can do this knowing everything was a lie.

"Look at your future wife, she cries tears for me. She loves me, she knows It." he walked even closer to me. I could hear Josue growling along with my father who was standing up and was going to probably escort Jacob out of the church. I looked at Josue in his eyes.

"Everything is true." I whispered as I put my hand against his chest. "I can't do this." I whispered again I picked up the end of my dress and started walking away. Jacob held his arms open to receive me, but  
I couldn't do it. I just walked past him and headed for the double doors leaving out of the church. I ran out of the church and to the rain that was hitting Forks, Washington's streets. I collapsed letting the makeup run down my face my dress was getting ruined.

I knew everything I did was all a mistake. I couldn't help but regret everything I have done. My life has been a lie. I was trying to pass off like I had a perfect relationship with Josue knowing that I was going behind his back and having sex with Jacob. Jacob was right all those time he told me to leave Josue. Jacob was more than capable of giving me the most amazing life. I was just afraid like I was back then. I wanted to run to escape my problems.

The tears kept spilling from my eyes. Again I have screwed my life as always. I held my stomach firmly. My little boy or girl was going to be born into this world of lies.

* * *

**I made this Chapter extra long for my pretty Nessie125 and all my regular reviewers and followers like my honey Tashay789, Efficient Vixen, SG1493, and the amazing Pearlbaby09. Of course my other honey's as well MrsJessedesilva, and SummerS2love, and Msr709. These are all the people who reviewed last Chapter and I want to thank you guys for doing so. So the little clip that's above is for you guys. It's what almost was, but didn't happen. I spent so much time re-writing this chapter that I didn't know what was going to happen. That was written with the preface ever since I started writing this story in April. Well honey's I have a bunch of little shots that almost made it into this story that didn't make it. I personally like the way this Chapter flowed. Well you let me know what you thought. ;D **

**Leave me something cute my loves. ;D Give me some love.**

**It's 2:45!  
**


	19. Ch18 Start Over

**A/N: I Am sorry that I am late with this update. Life gets in the way for all of us. This my loves is the last Chapter, but its not the end of the story. There is one last part of this story that is left. Well one last Chapter I wasn't sure if I wanted to end it here, but it felt right to do so. **

**Again sorry my lovely readers that this is that late and that it is short. The lyrics that are going with this Chapter were given to me by Nessie125 she is a sweet heart. The song is really nice so if you heard the song you know what I mean. If you haven't heard the song I recommend you do. **

**Enjoy the Chapter honey's ;D**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I don't which sucks.  
**

**

* * *

Chapter 18: Start over. **

**Just One more moment, that's all that's needed.  
Like wounded soldiers in need of healing.  
Time to be honest, this time I'm bleeding  
Please don't dwell on it, cause I didn't mean it**

**I cant believe I said I'd lay our love on the ground  
But it doesn't matter cause I've made it up forgive me now  
Everyday I spend away my souls inside out  
Gotta be someway that I can make it up to you now, somehow.**

**By now you'd know that I'd come for you  
No one but you, yes I'd come for you  
But only if you told me to  
And I'd fight for you  
I'd lie, it's true  
Give my life for you  
You know I'd always come for you**

**I was blindfolded, but now I'm seeing  
My mind was closing, now I'm believing  
I finally know just what it means to let someone in  
To see the side of me that no one does or ever will  
So if your ever lost and find yourself all alone  
I'd search forever just to bring you home,  
Here and now this I vow**

**By now you'd know that I'd come for you  
No one but you, yes I'd come for you  
But only if you told me to  
And I'd fight for you  
I'd lie, it's true  
Give my life for you  
You know I'd always come for you  
You know I'd always come for you**

**Yes I'd come for you, no one but you,  
Yes I'd come for you  
But only if you told me to**

**And I'd fight for you  
I'd lie, it's true  
Give my life for you  
You know I'd always come for you**

**No matter what gets in my way  
As long as there's still life in me  
No matter what, remember you know I'll always come for you  
I'd crawl across this world for you  
Do anything you want me to  
No matter what, remember you know I'll always come for you  
You know I'll always come for you  
**

**I'd Come For You- By Nickelback

* * *

**

**oo0o0o0o0o0oo**

**Nessie**

Still in shock from the past days results I had to think about the now. I was free to do as I pleased with my life with no one holding me back. It felt great. The emotions that were flying around the church were strong and thick they could be cut with a knife at how thick.

Everyone was radiating with their feelings and ready to show their rage, disappointment towards one man. How can one situation cause such a dangerous blow? The room was filled with a void. It was a foreshadowing for the expecting doom that was on its way to the light.

I was glad that this time I would be the one to be happy. I was finally going to have my happy ever after.

The police that were around the vicinity circling making sure the event wasn't stopped by the public came rushing in. The men that were in the blue suits attached with their weapons ready just to arrest the suspect that had committed so many crimes.

"Don't move anywhere!" the captain of the police force directed as he had a fire arm in his hands. The weapon pointed directly towards the object it warned. Some of the guests that were still in utter shock gasped unknowingly that this man was about to get arrested for his horrible sadistic crimes, finally there was no escape for him. No Way out, he was trapped and all his crimes were catching up to him in one full blow.

His face although showed no emotion it was completely aloof and it wrecked my nerves a bit to not know what was going on behind the green eyes that once hypnotized my very being.

I knew today would begin something new and I wondered when would it start already. His crimes needed to be paid and he had a long list, I was sure of that. I just wondered how many women or people had been in the very place that I had spent during my entire relationship with him. Part of me wanted to know while the other part didn't. I wanted the truth to be known so I could move on peacefully.

"You have no proof on what you're charging me from." Said the sadistic creature with no emotion held on his tone. He had the balls to actually crack a smile after he finished speaking as if everything we said were made up, a figment of our imaginations, when that was so far from the truth to even begin with.

"Wrong I have been studying you for quite some years Cartier." Said a beautiful woman in a red dress, she stood up and walked forward. Embry was trying to pull her back as if telling her to step down. "You don't remember me huh? Glad you don't I don't want to associate with scum like you. Well them name Marco Valdez should ring a bell to you right?"Josue's mouth dropped on hearing that name and real fear burned on his face as the most emotion I have ever seen on his face before. I wondered who this woman was and what did Josue have to do with a Marco Valdez. "That's right my brother the one who had dealt with your case back in 2002. The one who lost his job because he was on the opposing end of the case, you may have bought off the judge and got my brother fired and then murdered as well. It was part of fate that I found Jacob in that parking lot that day you scum. I have all of my brother's case files on you all the evidence that is going to make sure you rot in hell. Just so you know karma is a bitch and Marco can rest in peace now knowing you're going down for life." She snarled and looked at him in pure disgust.

I could only sympathize with the woman she was just another woman who suffered from Josue's crimes and I am glad that she was here to even provide the information to put Josue in a top security prison. He didn't deserve freedom and he was horrible for what he had done.

"I will be a witness and I will give my declaration on what I lived through being with Josue." Jacob pulled me closer to his chest to make sure I felt safe and had that reassurance. I felt safe.

"I will as well since I was also a victim." Jacob said. I could feel his husky voice reverberate against my cheek and it made me remember how much I had missed his voice and tone.

"This isn't the last you will hear of me and I will get vengeance don't think I won't." he warned as the officials moved closer to him and clamped the handcuffs on his wrists. The look on his face was a glare of death as his irises got darker and his brows furrowed together and his voice gave of a growl.

Finally the officers pushed him down the aisle with a push of their night stick. I was relieved to know I wouldn't have to deal with him anymore. I thanked god for looking after me and I prayed that I would be safe once more.

They finally escorted Josue out and in follow were his mother and his guest at the wedding which weren't many. I knew there was no wedding but there was still a reception and I know my family and friends wouldn't say no to food especially since it was on Josue's expense.

"Well since there will be no wedding there is still a reception you guys are more than welcome to enjoy it." I offered with a smile. It felt good to actually smile and be happy about the events that just took place.

And as said it happened we enjoyed ourselves at the reception and even though it was meant to be for me as a married woman it didn't happen that way. I didn't complain though I was with the man I loved and people who loved me as well.

"By the way Ness I wanted you to meet someone special to me." Jacob said to me with a smile. The toothy lopsided smiled I had missed so much. I returned the gesture with a crooked smile of my own.

"Sure anyone that special to you I am glad to meet." I squeezed his hand. Jacob gestured for someone to move forward and I sort of frowned slightly when I saw the gorgeous woman in the red dress. I couldn't help but feel the twinge of jealousy that hit me in the pit of the stomach. I know I had Jacob back and it was stupid to feel such an emotion.

"This is Jenifer she saved my life when I almost died." He looked at her in admiration that clearly could be misinterpreted. I smiled at her and admired her she was younger and looked perkier as well as her facial structure that consisted of a flawless bone structure from her nose to her cheeks as well as a very well defined jaw definition, she had pouty full lips as well. She was gorgeous there was no doubt in that. Her body was well curved as well with a slim tiny waist and washboard stomach.

I could see maybe she had something with Jake and maybe she wanted more with my 6 plus foot Native American god. I couldn't deny the thought in my head that maybe they had more, but it could very well be the paranoia I was feeling after being with Josue for so long. Dealing with the paranoiac things I did as I had to hide from him at all cost.

"Don't make it seem like I did everything all I did was call 911 the paramedics did everything else. It's nice to finally meet you Renesmee. You can't believe how much this guy talks about you." she smiled and I looked at Jake who was blushing that you could actually see it on his tan skin.

"Really, That much Jake?" I couldn't understand how much he missed me during our break and the chaos he went through on our separation. I felt horrible to think I might have caused him so much pain, not only to his psyche but to his pride as well to see him always come back. It was flattering but it also hurt me as well.

"Well not as much as you can imagine princess. I did keep myself occupied as well just to block certain things. By the way Jen you never told me that your brother was murdered by that monster." I looked at Jacob's face and could tell he was giving his silent sympathies to the woman in front of me.

"It was a long time ago I was just a young girl than. I loved my big brother of course. I guess I didn't tell you because if I did it would take the spot light off of what you were feeling and I sympathize with you for the horrible things you endured which are far more worse than death. You went through physical and psychological abuse which for you I know were intense. But thank god that it's all over now and that bastard got what he deserves for his cruelties. I am glad I could be a part of the justice overturned."

"Now you see why I love her she is so smart." Jacob laughed and I felt the twinge of Jealousy twinge again. I eyed him and tried to act like everything was alright.

"Jake you're silly. Well I have a date right now so I guess I'll see you two love birds around." She winked at both of us which caused me to blush crimson and feel like a high school girl in love again.

"May I ask who the lucky guy is?" Jacob asked raising his eyebrow he looked like he was actually over protective and I didn't understand why he would feel like that with her. She was just his friend right?

"Well he is your best friend. I have a date with Embry if you must know. He is actually a nice guy believe it or not. Plus he made me an offer I can't refuse which is he is taking me out for drinks. And yes dad I know how to take care of myself jeesh." She laughed. I felt lost as to what kind of relationship they have.

"That's my girl!" Jacob laughed and Jenifer punched him in the arm playfully.

"I'll see you guys around seriously. And I hope you have a healthy baby." She smiled at me as she walked off. All my nervous jealous feelings washed off as she walked away. It was clear that they had a big brother little sister relationship. It was like Jake was filling in for her real big brother that had passed away. It was all so clear and I felt like I was silly for even being jealous.

"She's nice." I said as I snuggled in his side as we were still sitting at one of the separate tables. Jacob continued eating and was really putting it away. He was eating a lot and he wasn't the pregnant one.

"Yea she is, she reminds me a lot of my little sisters which I haven't seen much of in a while. I kind of miss Melanie and Mya. I haven't really been in contact with them which makes me feel like a horrible big brother." he sighed. "I wonder what kind of father that would make me?" he sighed once more and stopped his attack on the plate of food as he stirred his for around.

"You aren't a horrible big brother. You'll be an amazing father to our child, she'll love you just as much as I do." I said reassuring him as I cupped his face and gave him a peck on the cheek. His jaw dropped at the words I said.

"A…Girl…?" he looked in shock and I smiled and nodded my head yes. "A daughter…" he said absently as he looked pensive at the thought of our child that was going to be a girl.

-0o0o0o0o0-

Several months had went by including more bloating and swelling of ankles as well as more crazy cravings of weird food projectiles. Things I never in my dreams I had imagined I would even want to eat. I felt as fat as a globe. Well in other words it looked like I swallowed a globe. I felt disgusting, but luckily this time there was no stretch marks that even showed that I was pregnant. A very clear canvas as Jacob would put it.

During the last couple of months I went to live with Jacob in Washington. I didn't sell the house. Yes the silly idea that it was right next door to Jacob. I very well still owned the house as well as the land. We decided we would just amplify and make an extension. As the house I had bought was much smaller in comparison to Jacob's four story mansion. We decided to use it as a guest house and just knock down fences and make paths towards it.

The person who mainly occupied the house was the one and only Angel. I didn't think he would actually spend that much time in Washington. None the less in a small town like Forks. The small town just grows on you.

I guess he does it to be closer to Justin since they have always been really close, or it might have something to do with the reservation girls that he likes. He does live in my house rent free but I don't complain much since I use him pretty much as a messenger boy for the rest of my pregnancy forcing him to get me all my little cravings when I want them. He actually does them even if I am screaming for a bacon cheese burger and some cookie dough ice cream on the side so I can dip the burger in at three in the morning. It's become like a ritual. He is pretty helpful on the days Jacob has to go away on business.

Speaking of Jacob, our relationship seems to have bound together stronger. There is nothing in this world that makes me separate from him now. One thing that does worry me know is marriage. Not a word has been spoken between us on that concept. It's like it might never happened. I haven't tried bringing it up though. I am pretty sure that if I did he would comply and we would do some silly thing like going to Vegas to get married. I realized if we were to make our bond official I would want a small private wedding compared to a large upscale fairytale wedding.

I would hate to go through that again. Not to mention Aunt Alice was pissed that her planning went to waste. I didn't think to ask Jacob to marry me there and then so it wouldn't have been a waste. But it just didn't go that way.

Since I am officially two days overdue from my due date I have to be careful and the doctor says sometimes it happens. They'll just wait a couple more days and see what happens. These two days have gone by and it feels like it's been two months overdue instead of just two days.

Jacob has been quite nice and has been supportive this last week. He took off from the company just to be there for me in case something happens. Our wait for our little baby girl has been a killer and I can no longer wait it out. I want to have her in my arms already. Jacob I know feels the same way, even though he hasn't showed it much since he spends most of his time in his office working from home.

"Jake!" I yelled as I was finishing typing a message on my laptop as I felt a strong pain hit me at. It hurt badly and I wasn't sure what to expect. I wasn't as worried as they came more one after the other.

"What happen!" Jacob said as he ran inside the living room to where I was as I stood in a spread leg position feeling on the massive bump poking from my pelvis. His eyes popped out in shock as he started to panic as he didn't know what to do. "She's coming!" he yelled as he started to scramble around like a chicken with no head.

"Jake my night bag!" I yelled at him and managed to point at the stairs for him to go to the room and get my bag so we could go to the hospital.

16 hours of labor it took to bring my daughter into my arms. A dozen and a half of family and close friends occupied the waiting room with a pacing nervous Jacob as they finished the procedure.

She weighed 5.6 pounds and was 20 inches long. I looked at her and she was quite long as I held her close to me. My eyes were still clouded and I was trying to stay awake from the exhaustion that I was feeling during the labor. I noticed the patch of curly auburn hair that was on the top of her head. She was a hairy newborn.

She was taken away as I fell into a deep slumber.

**

* * *

Jacob**

I a father.

The words flashed in my brain a couple times during the last couple of month, but it was finally today that they hit me like an anchor to the gut. I wasn't only just a father now. I was a father to a little girl, my baby girl, my princess.

I was literally scared shitless now. I didn't have the first clue of being a father none the less being a father to a baby girl. Many things scared me. I had to be gentle with her. I didn't even want to imagine what it would be like when she become pubescent in her teen years. She is just a newborn I didn't want to think that far ahead yet.

Another thing that swam through my head was boys. Boys would be around her at any age no matter what. I was afraid of that and would try to evade them at all costs.

A hand clamped down on my shoulder as I was looking at my daughter in the newborn nursery in her cradle. I turned to look at the green eyes of Edward Cullen. Even to this day this man hates me and for him to touch me in such an endearing way didn't help my nerves of being a new time father.

"Now you see what I felt for my daughter." He said as he removed his hand and admired his granddaughter.

Everything hit me full force and I knew now what Edward felt back then. It wasn't the fact that I was in love with Nessie back then. The part that troubled him was that he wanted no boy to be near his teenage daughter at the time. He wanted Justin because he could manipulate him to doing what he wanted, meanwhile me he couldn't domineer and it threatened his hold on his rebelling daughter. The thing he didn't like about me was that he knew he couldn't control Ness to being away from me because of our love. His only way was to break us apart with sure pure force.

I didn't want to become that controlling father with my own daughter. Yet I knew I wasn't going to like the idea that my little girl was going to fall in love one day just like her mother did with me as well as I love her mother. I didn't think Edward was going to even be capable of making me realize the fears of being a father. He knows because he already knows. He is the father to two girls. One is all grown up while the other is still growing. My daughter and her aunt are close to age meaning the one I am going to be running along with chasing the boys away is going to Edward. I mentally face palmed myself at the realization of the revelations I just gave myself.

It was completely nerve wrecking. I was interrupted by a familiar humming and was pushed in my arm.

"Looks like the new daddy can really use this coffee." Jen mused and I grabbed the one of the coffees from the tray she had in her hands. "Looks like grandpa can use one too." Edward gave her a quick nod and a faint smile as her grabbed another of the coffees. "She is beautiful you know Jake. I know it's a little too early to tell who she will look like, but I know she will be split down the middle of both of you. She'll be gorgeous." She smiled as she grabbed her own cup of coffee and sipped.

"That's what I am afraid of. This wouldn't be so difficult if I had a son." I sighed as I thought about my son that would be here right now.

"Trust me Jake you'll be a good father, maybe instead of football practice you will be going to ballet. It doesn't change that you won't be a great dad. I know you will."

"Listen to her Jacob she is right, a lot of insight from such a young woman, very clever." Edward complimented her but he didn't look away from my daughter.

"So what's her name?" Jenifer asked. I smiled when I thought of the name Ness named our daughter.

"Juliet." My smile widened as I looked at the pink bundle once more.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o 0-0o0o0o0o0-0 o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

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**So you know this is the last Chapter of this story in this time the next part would be an exiting portion in which takes place five years from now. It won't be a full story so it would just be adding an extra chapter to this Fic. I originally intended for this fic to be longer like the one before this but it just didn't happen. I am going to be finishing up the fics I started, but I don't think I will be really be starting any new Fanfics with Twilight since I am not really into it anymore I kind of moved on to other things. But I will finish the fics I started for you guys who follow any of the other stories that I wrote. **

**Sorry for the shortness of this Chapter by the way. I was going to add the five years in this Chapter, but decided on doing it completley separate, but like I said it will be attached to this fic so Don't stop looking for an update on this story Cause I am going to update that soon. Thanks for following guys I love you. I'll give you a really juicy Lemon in the Next part since I didn't add it here. Well I am glad with the amount of reviews from the Last chapter they made me smile at the feedback. So Can you make me happy again and this time maybe even a little bit more of reviews. **

**Thanks for being so patient and supportive honey's its really appreciated. ;D**

**Love ya!  
**


	20. Final Chapter: EPILOGUE

**A/N: I know Seven thousand years for me to finally finish this. It was literally sitting on my computer for all these months untouched. Until today that is. I was in the mood to update so I finished the chapter the best I could. It's probably bad, but I'll leave that for you guys to tell me in your review. **

**It is finally the time to close the book on our love birds. Gosh am I going to miss this story. But I needed to end it as I am most likely not going to be writing anymore twilight. I just really got over it. Well I bring this to an end. As much as I loved the time we spent. **

**~~~~DISCLAIMER: SM OWNS IT. ~~~~  
**

* * *

**Love or Desire**

* * *

**Epilogue **

_**5 years later**_

The sun began to rise casting It's shimmer in through the curtains. Causing the couple that lay between cotton sheets to stir a bit. The previous night had been one of the few they could have during the last five years. Due to being parents they found the opportunities to be together in intimacy had lessened greatly.

The husband had is arms wrapped protectively around his woman. She was his and his only; a bit selfish from his stand point the only thing greater for the love of his wife was that of his daughter. He cherished them both greatly and would do anything for the both of them.

He hardly got to see his family as much as he would like to due to the fact he was the CEO of a major company. It was all travel and paper work. His wife on the other hand felt the same way about her husband's disappearances. She would just stare at the beautiful ring on her finger to remind herself that he was hers and that they had taken vows to the matter.

Shimmering chocolate brown eyes fluttered open and stared at a tan chiseled face. It was days like this that made her world a better place. She loved the peace she felt in her husband's strong arms. Her love for him had no limits; she knew the same went for him. They were madly and deeply in love with each other ever since the day they met almost Ten years ago.

His face was as beautiful as she remembered back then. The difference now was that he definitely lost the roundness in his face and had much more sharper features. She traced her index finger from the bottom of his ear until she hit the cute clef he had in his chin. He hadn't shaved and his stubble rasped against her fingers. She smiled she couldn't believe she was with such a beautiful man.

She thanked God everyday for being able to bless her the way he had. Having the things she had were blessings. Her daughter was a wonderful tyke and she couldn't have asked for a better family. She took in the quietness and just wished she could pause this moment.

The birds were chirping outside with such enthusiasm, it made this picture look and feel so much more peaceful and care-free. It is moments like this you wish you could live in forever, but can't.

Just when that thought hit her head, like clockwork her daughter burst into the room with a smile and giggles. She climbed onto the bed and started jumping. The act caused the wife to wake up and her daughter while the husband just stayed laid out still knocked out.

* * *

**Nessie**

Juliet reminded me a lot of her father. She was the perfect color in between her father's and mine. She had my hair, she had her father's dark eyes she is tall for her age and she has her father's same lopsided smile. I loved this little girl she was my most precious treasure.

"Mommy!" she giggled as I sat up in bed and brought her to my arms.

"Yes Juliet." I rasped in my morning voice.

"I want to play with Papa."She batted her eyelashes and clapped her hands together.

"Papa is sleeping sweetheart." An idea came to my mind. "How about we make Papa a special breakfast?" I knew Juliet was capable of screaming and exclaiming in excitement. I put my finger on my lips as did a soft shhh, Juliet did the same. "Come on let's go." I winked at her.

As soon as we were out of the room she was jumping up and down in excitement. She started singing one of her silly songs she loved so much. Juliet was the gift god had given to me. I couldn't ask for another child.

I was at the point that I did want another child. I hadn't talked to Jacob about the topic, but I am pretty sure he would want another child as well. We really haven't had a chance to talk. He has been busy and so have I. Communication has become limited, as has our sessions of love making.

I kind of wish for those special moments to be more often, I sighed as I had these thoughts in my mind. They had been there for months. I just hoped Jacob and I could fix the problem soon. I didn't want this to end in a divorce, I loved him deeply and I would do anything to make things right. It has been too many years to just throw it in the garbage.

Juliet and I made breakfast. We made her favorite which is fruit salad and waffles. Juliet was going to spend the day at her grandparent's house. My father wanted to take Rosemary and Juliet on a Special trip. Those trips normally ended with my daughter being treated like a princess spoiled and getting her way. Normally on their princess parties they attended at the American girl club, Dolly and me tea parties.

I let her go because Juliet loved them. I personally found the dolls creepy. I don't know how my father could actually go and not be embarrassed. It's not like Aunt Alice helped much either, her and Dad would coddle both girls and spoil them buying every single new accessory for the doll. Poor Alexander he was more like Jasper, when Alice wants her little shopping sprees poor Alexander gets hauled around by the collar, so does Jasper. They prefer watching Football with Uncle Emmett.

As if on time the doorbell rang. I knew the day would start. We normally had breakfast on the weekends at my house. It was mainly policy as of now. Juliet skipped to the door humming.

"Who is it?" her voice rang like bells.

"It's Grandpa."

Juliet opened the door revealing my father, my baby sister and Aunt Alice in a very nice Chanel suit.

"Hello!" Juliet sang. Jacob walked into the hallway dressed in his normal clothes. He looked handsome. I gave him my smile and he returned one.

"Are you ready sweetheart?" Alice chimed in the same exact enthusiastic voice that Juliet used.

"Pretty sure! I am!" Juliet chimed again.

"Breakfast guys." I said as I looked over at my father and aunt.

"No, no, no we cannot stay! We have a huge schedule ahead. Sorry maybe next week." Aunt Alice busy body self said.

"It's customary." I said as I pouted. Jake whispered in my ear.

"More time for us, let them go."

"Don't do that, we promise Juliet will get fed and be back soon. You out of everyone know the deal. We did the same with you." Alice crossed her arms and looked at me sternly.

"Fine, but if my daughter is missing one hair on her head you have me to deal with." I warned her, she just laughed and got Juliet's bag and they left.

"That family of yours." Jacob said as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Well your family isn't full of saints either. Rebecca wants us to go to Hawaii for her baby shower. She said it is a must that we attend that's for the end of the month. Oh! Before I forget! I want to have another one for our own." I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his chin.

I know I said it really forward, but it's what I wanted. Anything Nessie wants, Nessie gets. Juliet takes after me in that aspect.

"Really?" He said with a smile on his face. "What took you so long to ask? I would have given that to you the day after the doctor gave us the ok to have sex after Juliet was born." He smirked with his signature Jake like cockiness.

"Don't get cocky!" I laughed at his remark. "Though I would love a little boy to resemble his father." I kissed his chin once more.

"Or another little girl to resemble her mother, though Juliet is a lot like you." he smirked.

"Oh please! If anything she takes after you in her attitude when she is mad she gets mad." I laughed.

"No she has your attitude pulling her temper tantrums. Are you sure you want another child?" He laughed.

I was serious though I wanted another child. I was ready. Soon Juliet would start going to school and I would have nothing to do. Plus I thought I five year gap between children would be perfect.

"I wouldn't wish anything else than having another child with you Jacob Black." I felt warm and fuzzy.

"Well I hope that is you wouldn't want to have a baby with someone who isn't your husband."

"Jake!"

"Well let's go work on making that baby!" he said as he lifted me into his arms and started going off to our bedroom.

Things were sweet as we made love. It was conventional, traditional somewhat passionate.

I decided on going to see Justin and Leah. Even though we lived in the same town, I didn't get the chance to see them as much. We were all busy leading lives.

Jacob was going to go see his dad, so I was going to see Justin and Leah. We both agreed that he was going to go quick than go to Justin's house so we could hang out.

When I got to the house I could see it had changes. No more child toys outside, no sign of young children. Justin's boys were now eleven they were leaving their children's ways and slowly moving towards their teenage years. What a headache for Leah.

I rang the bell. It was cold out in the rainy cold Forks way. The door was opened by a handsome young man that I could hardly recognize. He reminded me of a younger Justin, Dark shaggy black hair a lot of Seth coming out on this young boy.

"Oh hey tt Nessie." He smiled at me. One thing for sure he had his mothers smile.

I felt bad I didn't know which twin it was. Was it Jonathan? Was it Jayden? I wasn't sure they both looked the same and I hadn't seen them in so long. I never really could tell them apart.

"Hey are your parents home?" I asked.

"Where else would the old guys be." He retorted smartly. Just like his mother. I mentally laughed. Were we really that old in their eyes?

"Thanks." I walked inside and the old house looked a lot different than I last remembered. It was more modern, looked a little larger. I saw my two best friends sitting at the dinette table drinking some coffee.

"Hey pops Aunt Nessie is here." The young man replied.

"Respect your elders Jayden." Leah scolded her child. "Hey Nessie!" Leah greeted me warmly.

"Hey Ness, sit down."Justin gestured to one of the empty chairs. Which I gladly took, I smiled at both of them.

"Are we really that old to them?" I pointed in the area the kid just left.

"Mentally! To them yeah." Leah sighed. "Anyone over twenty is old to them." She sighed once more. "Actually believe it or not your husband isn't old to them. Besides Jake doesn't act like an adult on his leisure time? Well you already know that." She laughed and then took a sip of her coffee.

"Don't I know." I laughed.

In that the very person mentioned walked in, he had the smile I loved leering on his lips.

"Well you still put up with me." he said chuckling as he sat at the other empty chair. "So did you tell them the news?" He said as he kept his Cheshire cat grin.

"Tell them what?" I asked I was lost what would he want me to tell them.

"You know about the thing." he motioned.

"Oh! That thing, well no not yet." I said remembering the conversation that led to the heated love making session.

"Oh, what could that thing be?" Justin said as he wiggled his eyebrows.

"Not what you're thinking Perv. Well Jake and I wanted to take a little vacation and were wondering if you guys can watch Juliet. I know I would tell my mom, or Alice, heck even Rosalie. But we wanted her to be around her older brothers as she puts it. She has been nagging me for days that she wanted to see the twins, because she hasn't seen them for days. So I wanted to ask you that favor, plus wouldn't it be nice to have a daughter for a weekend?" I know I rambled. But there was no way they could say no. one they loved me, we were family. Not by blood, but that couldn't make it any tighter.

"Now you know I wouldn't say No Ness. You're like the sister I never had, well besides your mom, but that's weird we can't connect the way we do. Plus I do want a little girl." she said as Justin wrapped his arms around her. "We actually have something we want to tell you." she said as she looked Justin adoringly in the eyes.

"We are actually going to have another baby. It wasn't planned or anything and we told each other we would use the game of chance. At least for this pregnancy we have everything figured out. Whatever the outcome we are ready for this." they smiled at each other and I admired them. It was a sweet tender moment shared between the two.

So much love flooded between the two. It was admirable. It was kind of what I wanted with Jake. We had it, we were happy just I needed him to be around more often. I couldn't ask him to leave his job or anything. I knew it was something he loved. It also produced our income. Though we were extremely comfortable, I had nothing to worry about. I kept putting excuse after excuse. Why did I feel like we had more time when we were sneaking around than we have now that we are married?

I shouldn't bottle up these emotions they aren't good for me or for my marriage. I was always about the negative, what about the positive? All Jake and I fought to get to the point we are now? I will not let this go to waste. My love for Jacob and my daughter are stronger than any negative thought.

I was shocked with the announcement Leah just made. I was happy for them. I know they went through so much to find the peace and happiness they have now. They deserve it with every right. They were meant one for the other.

"I am happy for you guys. If you have twins that's more babies in the family." I said as I eyed Justin who gulped.

"If it's twins we will happily receive them." Leah said as she squeezed Justin's forearm. "Right honey?" she said Justin just nodded and behind Leah's head he shook his head no. I laughed.

"So how is Angel?" I asked.

"You don't know what that bum did?" Leah said annoyed.

"Oh come on Leah it wasn't that bad." Justin said defending our other best friend. Leah I knew wasn't too fond of Angel. Okay let me say she hates the guy and only tolerates him because he is like Justin's brother.

"Any way that bum." Leah started and then glared when the back door opened. "Speaking of the devil." She said.

"Hey Ness! Jake!" Angel greeted. He looked older a little grey hair on his side burns but overall young. He didn't sport the long hair he sported when we were younger. He had cut his hair. He looked like a total different person. The only thing that never changed was his smile.

"Hey." I responded back.

"Hi." Jake acknowledged.

"Hola bum!"Leah greeted.

"What's up bro." Justin said.

"Hey Leah since when you speak Spanish?" I asked flabbergasted. "I thought you refused to learn?" I asked curious.

"Well if you must know. About three months ago, we had a vacation to Puerto Rico." She started.

"Are you seriously still mad about that?" Angel said with a unique grin on his face. "Leah let it go." he said trying not to laugh.

"The hell I will ever let it go. It put you in the worst place you can be for me. I will never forgive you." she said through her teeth. She was seething.

"What did he do for you to be so angry?" I said intrigued now. Leah got mad, but she was enraged now. This had to be something big for her to act out like that.

"Like I said three months ago we went to Puerto Rico. This Bum," she said as she pointed at Angel. "Got this other bum drunk," she pointed at Justin. "Not only that but I got so drunk, let's just say it involved a lot of puke all over the hotel room. Not to mention hookers near my children you are irresponsible." She said in a serious tone as she looked at Angel.

"Leah that doesn't sound so bad." I said lightening the situation.

"Not that bad? I was humiliated in front of people I don't know. In a language I barely spoke. Not to mention the bum led me to say something in Spanish that humiliated me more. Now I learned enough from Justin's grandmother who is teaching me some more Spanish. I will find out how to curse you out idiota." She said as she glared at Angel.

"What did you make her say?" I asked Angel, A little scared for his life.

"It's not important. You know it is in the past. Just get over it and we can live on." Angel said in his relaxed mood.

"It is important you stupido. I will not be made a fool." She said as she crossed her arms.

"It sure is sad to be you right now." Jake said to Angel.

"Not too bad, I am La Push's hottest bachelor at the moment. Thank you, thank you." he said with a smile on his face.

"I remember those days." Jake said as he reminisced. I punched him in the chest. "But now I am happily married to the woman of my dreams." He said.

"You lucky that line worked for you unless you would be sleepy with fluffy." I said as I crossed my arms.

"Fluffy?" Angel asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Tell them who is fluffy?" I said.

"I will not de fame my name like that. Renesmee." He said my full name with so much umph.

"You will do so or I will Jacob Ephriam Black." I said with a stern face.

"My daughter's puppy, Who isn't really a puppy." He said.

"Ohh dog house man!" Angel said with the 'oh & man' emphasized.

"You know you're not very nice." Jake said.

"Oh why thank you honey. That means so much." I said with a smile.

"And you think Leah is evil. I have this one and a reincarnation of her. Point of advice don't have daughters." Jacob told Justin and Angel.

We all about busted out laughing. We were actually having fun. It was nice to unwind and just joke around. Even though we were married couples with the exception of Angel we needed this, to not go stir crazy.

It was the beginning of a beautiful thing.

* * *

It was finally the weekend in which Jacob and I were going away. Juliet was excited about staying at her older brothers house. She was bothering me about it the whole month. Jayden and Jonathan loved Juliet. To them she was their little sister their very own jewel. So they called her that. Though they treated Rosemary the same as well.

I was checking that last things that needed to be packed for our trip. We weren't going too far, but we still wanted to get away.

We rented a room at a hotel near the mountains. It gave the beautiful look and peace we were looking for. This I truly enjoyed.

Strong arms wrapped around me. Jake placed his head on the crook of my neck. He kissed gently. We were only going to be gone a weekend.

After our trip we would be going to Hawaii to see Rebecca.

"You know I've missed you so much." Jake said as he brushed his nose along my neck. I continued to fold some clothes into our luggage.

"I know love. It's hard not having you around so much." I sighed. I didn't really want to voice these thoughts, but we needed to set things straight.

"Work has been really swamped. We are expanding so much that it's crazy." He sighed. "I want to spend more time with you guys. I need time management for sure."

I turned so that I was looking at him.

"Honey the time we spend apart is worrying me. I feel like communication between us is faltering." I told him honestly.

"I know, and I don't want it to be that way. I don't ever want to lose you." He said as he kissed my forehead and wrapped his arms around my waist tightly.

"We need open communication in a marriage Jacob." I told him as I kissed his nose.

"You know you can talk to me Nessie. I am your husband. We would be there for each other no matter what. Don't be afraid to bring something to my attention."

God did I love this man.

"I love you." I told him as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"As I love you, Nessie."

* * *

~"~"~"~"~"~

We were at the hotel getting checked in and as soon as we were in the hotel room clothes were flying about. He gripped my hips tight and I didn't know that my desire for him was this strong.

He ripped my panties and I really liked those. We were both naked as I felt him rub his released erection against my thigh. I moaned in response and kissed him more passionately.

He gripped my chin bringing the much needed aggression to our kiss as I was providing the friction between us.

"You're killing me Renesmee." He said in a husky tone as he ground his hips against my thigh gaining more friction.

"Just make love to me Jacob."I told him as my hand went to his erected member and slid a thumb down the tip of it.

He groaned and hissed at the contact. I was wet and ready. This was exciting. The need to have him was only getting more unbearable. I needed him to fill me to the belly full. I needed to feel like we were one.

He kissed me more passionate as he slid into my slickened folds with a plunge. His tongue entered my mouth not asking for permission as he rocked his hips back and forth for friction.

I moaned and needed him deeper in me. My hands reached for his ass cheeks pushing him deeper in me. He hit my G-spot ripping a moan from my lips.

"Ahh!" I moaned out in pleasure as he gripped my hips and pushed in deeper. My legs instantly wrapped around his back as he slammed into me fiercely. Another moan ripped from me as he started rubbing my swollen nub.

God did I love this man.

His hand moved from my clit as he cupped my left breast and put his tongue to it with a swirled lick. I moaned in response as his hip kept going and a rhythmic pace.

I needed to feel him in me. I missed his body so much from the months I didn't have him. I greedily took his ministrations and asked for more.

"Jaaa-ccooob!" I screamed his name as my first orgasm ripped through my body.

He kept going he was interested in gaining his own release.

He pumped in and out in and out. He wanted it.

He needed his release to come soon. He finally released on my second orgasm filling me with his seed as both our fluids meshed together.

"I love you Jacob." I told him as he pulled out and wrapped an arm around my waist pulling me to his chest.

"And I you Nessie." He said as he kissed me on my lips passionately.

"I can say this is what is love and desire." I whispered as I started drifting off to sleep.

* * *

**Well ****even good things have to come to and end. It was a blast writing this for you guys. It really was. The feedback I got for this story was banging. Now if you show love to this last chapter I'll love you guys forever. Leave me that love and tell me what you guys thought of this chapter and the overall story. **

**~~"~~Much love~~"~~ **

**oh as a gift here are some shots that were supposed to be in the story, but never made it Enjoy. kinda like outtakes.  
**

**~~~~~~'~~~~~~~**

* * *

**Shot one: Blackmail:**

* * *

I was at Jacob's house in Washington because I wanted to see him. I was on my vacation time and I missed him. It had been a month I hadn't seen him, but I couldn't bear to stay away any longer. A month was far too long for me.

"Hey honey." I kissed him on the lips as soon as I walked into his house. He wrapped his arm around my waist and nudged his nose at the side of my face.

"You know I really have missed you." Jacob smiled as he gripped my waist tighter.

"I missed you too." I admitted completely honestly.

"Yea you miss me yet your still with him." He rolled his eyes as he let my waist go and grabbed my hand.

"I have told you before I am trying to end it with him." I sighed in defeat as he sat down on the couch and pulled me into his lap.

"Well I have something that might change your mind." He gave off a mischievous smile so I knew he was plotting.

"What do you have going on in your evil little brain?" I asked as I started playing with some of the facial hair on his chin.

"Break up with him or I am showing everyone this video." He sounded so serious. He grabbed the remote and turned the TV on and there was a video of me and him having sex.

I hit his chest. "When did you record us having sex?" I was a little pissed he didn't tell me we were on camera. I hit his chest again and wiggled out of his lap.

"One thing you must learn about me, I like recording myself having sex. Plus you didn't give me an answer; it's either me or your career you choose mama."

"You can't make me choose between the two." I sighed and covered my face with my hand.

"I know but I am trying to push you a little so you can get it done. Ness you have been too nice with him." He sighed and tried to pull me closer and I gave in.

I couldn't believe he didn't tell me about the tape. That kind of pissed me off a little, I thought we were supposed to have trust and tell each other about those kind of things.

"I can't choose and you shouldn't expect me to do so. I love you and I have been trying to break up with him and it hasn't happened yet."

* * *

**Shot two: Sex fantasy with Jacob, but not with Jacob:**

* * *

I gripped his neck and pulled him into my apartment as my hunger grew. I was in a savage state and I needed to feed my carnal need for Jacob and how he felt every time our skin meets. I grabbed his hand and guided him to my room. I guess today it was really going to happen. I started thinking about some of my past encounters of pleasure with Jacob.

With Jacob I have always been in a state of internal and externally content. He could make me cum so quickly and is the only guy who has been able to give me multiple orgasms. I bit my lip and squirmed just thinking about it. I moistened at the mere thought of it.

He kissed my neck and I seriously felt nothing towards it. We took our clothes off and everything felt very porno-ish and not loving at all. When he put on a condom and was putting the head of his dick in, I closed my eyes. Not because it hurt or anything, but I was going to fantasize with Jacob Black.

Josue was nowhere near the size of Jacob I calculate he had the average size penis at a mere six inches. Jacob Black on the other hand was standing strong at nine inches of thick pure sex machine. I bit my lip at the thought of feeling Jacob at the pit of my stomach.

I have to be completely honest at this point as Josue was going in and out I felt nothing and I threw my head back from trying to laugh in his face as to how horrible it was. I looked back at his face and the expression of complete and utter bliss, yet I didn't feel any of that. It was a turn off. I was faking moans and when he came I had to fake an orgasm. I felt bad for him.

He collapsed on top of me and I pushed his short blonde locks back and kissed his forehead. At least I gave him a good time, even though through all of it I was imaging Jacob and I think I am in the wrong for that. I sighed as he kissed my chest and then on my lips. He looked me in the eyes and kissed me once more with an added passion.

I am starting to have a feeling that tomorrow is going to be very awkward with Jacob. Just because of me having sex with my boyfriend and fantasizing about him. I probably won't be able to have a straight face at all and that is what worries me.

**Jacob**

About a week went by and everything was perfect I had a friendship with Nessie even though I don't think that is what I wanted anymore. I don't think that is what I wanted in the beginning to start with. It was after office hours and she invited me over her house for dinner. I was looking forward to it.

Dinner with the woman I love.

* * *

**Shot three: Repulsion:**

* * *

The rain continued to pour down as I stared out my window. I knew no good would come from this attempt, but I had to at least try. I was going to finally tell him how I felt and demand we end this before it became even more serious. Having to be with someone who is creating a bubble around something that is never going to happen isn't good at all.

Josue believes we have a life that is perfect, but it is not. In fact I don't have any romantic feelings for him anymore and he is starting to repulse me quite frankly.

* * *

**well those are shots that were almost in LOVE OR DESIRE but didn't make the cut. I hope you enjoyed our long journey and enjoy the little shots I gave you. Enjoy my little bunnies you. love in review form.  
**

**~~~NoW I am really out.~~~~  
**

;]


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